We run out into the night, hand in hand, with our only home being swallowed in flames behind us. Sirens sounding in the distance. We run until her legs give out and she crumbles to the ground crying, “She's dead.”
I pull her to her feet and keep running. She sobs as I drag her behind me. We don't have time for grief; the authorities will be on the scene and the guards will be on the hunt. We need distance between us and that house. Once we are far enough away no one should find us, I stop and face her teary eyes.
“What are we going to do, Marcus? They will find us. We will never get away,” she says.
I grip her face in my cold hands. “I'm so sorry, Phee. This is the only way for you to be safe,” I apologize to her.
She looks confused until the realization of what I am about to do to her hits; she knows exactly what I am going to do. Her teary eyes are full of betrayal. She grabs handfuls of my coat in her shaky, blood-covered hands.
“Please, Marcus... No,” she pleads, shaking her head.
I do the only thing I can think of to save her. I wipe all of this from her mind.
“Forget it all, Phee. You will forget everything that has happened before this day, this moment.”
She only nods, tears streaming down her cheeks, her eyes vacant. She nods and I drag her on behind me into the cold night, toward freedom.
***
I wake up covered in sweat, and run my hands over my face and through my hair. I fell asleep in my office again last night. Papers scattered out in front of me. The dreams are getting worse, because I am here, so close to her. That day feels like so long ago. Phee was just a kid; all the bad things that had happened to her before that day were best forgotten. She has no idea what I’ve saved her from or why I left her that day. If only I could erase the scars he left on her body like I erased him.
Asher Blaze walks into my office without knocking, a smug smile on his face. “I guess I have you to thank for bringing our girl back,” he announces. I cringe at his gratitude, douchebag.
“Blaze, you banging my little sister was a nasty and unwanted side effect of our little deal. Her forgiving you was the fastest way to get her back here, but I am warning you, keep your distance. You mess with her head again, and I am going to mess with yours, understand?”
I tap his skull with my index finger, stressing the point. Fucking dirt bag. I've had to compel her a few times because of his bullshit. When he came clean with her about my involvement, it pushed her to the breaking point so she would leave the Academy for good. I smile at the thought of washing my hands completely of Asher Blaze, but shake it off. I can't protect her from every asshole out there, and like it or not, I need him. He has survived as much pain and torture as I have. He is a strong and powerful ally.
Blaze puts his hands up in surrender, chuckling, “I just tried to get her away from both of us. I thought it would be the easiest way out of our deal. She is a great girl. In my own twisted way, I do love her. Anyways, you've messed with her head more than I ever have.”
Anger flashes through me. I shove him against the wall, holding his throat in my hand, barely containing the electricity running through me.
“What I have done to her has been for her protection, always!” I say.
My face is inches from his. Blaze’s cocky expression falls instantly, and I can see the regret in his eyes. He knows what I have done, and he knows why. I let him go and turn my back to him, trying to regain control of myself. I shouldn’t take my anger out on him just because he was stupid enough to try to save her from me.
“You know what would have protected her, saved her even... knowing you’re alive. Letting her believe she is alone in the world, that she killed you, that not right, Marcus. No matter how much you try to save her from a distance, you know she will always be broken because she was branded a murderer.” He curses under his breath, running a hand through his hair. “Look, I have protected her like you wanted me to, but I am not her family, you are. It shouldn’t be my responsibility to hold her together. She was so broken, man,” he says shaking his head, his eyes pleading. Then he turns his back on me and walks out. I wish it were that simple. The moment I drop the walls I build in her head, there is no going back.
Broken… The thought of her being broken is ridiculous; she has no memory of the pain we endured. Broken? She can’t be broken. I did everything to save her from being broken. I was tortured every day of my life, beaten and broken, starved and brainwashed, until I was strong enough to claw my way out of that hell.
She should be grateful that all she remembers is a life within these walls. Did she appear broken in the cafe, lost and alone? I curse under my breath, shaking my head.
Chapter Thirty
Phoenyx
Mother is upset again. “I love you, never forget that,” she says, laying her bloody palm on my cheek. Panic swells up inside me and tears start to fall onto my cheeks. “Take care of each other,” she whispers. Mother blinks her eyes one last time, gives one final exhale, before falling limp, her dead eyes staring at me.
Waking up from a rare dream about my mother has me shaken. I have only this one memory of her, I cling to her image, to every detail of her. She looked like me. Why was she so sad? I see her die in my dreams, over and over. Could it be real memory or was it a nightmare? I fall back asleep, trying to find some glimpse of my life before that night.
The next morning, is a rare sunny fall day, perfect for a run. Twenty minutes later, I am dressed and heading down to the kitchen. The student numbers continue to dwindle; already we are down to just over fifty prospective Titans. Some dropped out, the rest were recruited by the trackers or guards. I can’t imagine coming all this way only to drop out. Thankfully, my team is strong and I know we will make it through.
As I rummage through the kitchen for my favorite breakfast food, yogurt and granola, I see someone out on the balcony off the kitchen. Silas sits atop a picnic table looking out over the courtyard. Of course, Silas would be the only other person up this early.
“Are you going for a run this morning?” I ask as I sit down beside him, shoulder to shoulder. I can't help myself. I missed him.
He nods. “Don’t I always,” he answers with a smile. Silas is looking scruffy, his blond hair in complete disarray, always messy and a bit too long. I lift my hand to straighten his hair, but stop mid-air and brush my own hair aside. I always find it hard to resist touching Silas. We have only kissed once since we both came back here. I feel like I shouldn't touch him, shouldn't want him, but I do. We finish our breakfast in silence and start out into the courtyard to run laps.
“So, what made you come back? I didn't think you wanted anything to do with this place? Why would you ever come back here?” he finally asks, after a few silent laps.
With a sigh, I say, “Aside from the fact that the trackers dragged me back here? Where else would I go, Silas? This place is the only home I’ve ever known, and I owe it to myself to see how far I can take this.” I’m trying to convince myself as much as him.
“I mean did you come back for him or…” He rubs the back of his neck in frustration; obviously, he doesn’t want to be talking about this at all.
“I came back for myself. Asher was the biggest mistake of my life. One I never plan on re-living,” I admit gently, hoping this doesn’t hurt him.
He stops running. “Really?” he questions, louder than expected. His eyes betray him and show his anger. “Or are you too proud to admit you chose the wrong guy?”
I cannot have another conversation about my relationship with Asher. I quickly try to divert his energy by grabbing him by the sweater and pulling, “Oh, come on, Silas! Everyone knows I picked the wrong guy. Now do you want to talk about my train wreck of a life or do you want to run, because I want to run.” I take off ahead, ending the conversation. He catches up easily, giving me a quick smile.
“I’m glad you’re here,” he says, nudging my shoulder.
“Ditto.” I nudge him back, smiling. We c
ontinue running through the cool fall morning.
When I walk through the kitchen after my run, I hear Asher’s voice. He is talking to Marcus Ryan, I have seen him around, but have managed to avoid him until now. I know I need to meet this man. So, I square my shoulders and head straight for them. It’s time to shake hands and make nice with the scary man who will decide my future.
He sees me approaching and nods toward Asher who then looks over his shoulder at me. A huge smile spreads over his face.
“How was the run?” Leaning in, he kisses my neck.
“Ugh, get off!” pushing him away. Marcus doesn’t appear amused.
Ash motions to Marcus. “Nyx, this is Ryan, Marcus Ryan. He controls all things Titan Elite. Marcus, this is my partner in crime the lovely, Miss Phoenyx Ember.”
Marcus is all hard lines, standing over six feet, with dark blond hair cut short. Everything about him screams order. Nothing out of place, not a wrinkle. Eying him, I try to gauge his power. He doesn’t look like an air or water chaser, and he’s certainly not like me. Interesting.
He watches me appraise him. “Light chaser,” he offers, answering my silent question. I only know two things about light chasers; they are very rare and very dangerous. He holds out his hand for me to shake. “It’s nice to finally meet you, Phoenyx. I have heard a lot about you and your exceptional power. We are glad you changed your mind about signing up for training,” he says with a smile.
“It’s my pleasure Mr. Ryan.”
“Please, call me Marcus.”
I reach out and in that instant our hands meet I can feel his power of me. My life passes through my mind in pictures, the barn, my time in solitary, Silas, Asher, and my powers. Every mistake and every lonely crippling moment of my sad life flashes before my eyes. As quickly as it begins, the flash is over and I am standing in the kitchen still gripping Marcus’ hand.
I gasp, jerking my hand away. I have heard about light chasers scanning your thoughts and memories, messing with your head. “What the fuck!” I blurt out, probably not the best reaction.
Asher is trying to contain his laugh at my outburst. That flash was invasive and hurtful. Asher is smirking at me like that was normal.
“I will be seeing more of you both in the coming weeks,” Marcus says with a nod, then turns on his heels and leaves the room.
“Nice manners, Nyx. I thought you were going to throat punch him,” Asher says with a laugh.
“What did he just do to me?” Still confused, I just stare at my hand.
“His job, he scans all of us to make sure we have no demons rattling around in our heads,” he answers as he gently taps my head with his finger. “Why? What did he see?”
“Everything,” it comes out as barely a whisper, as I swallow the lump building in my throat.
“Oh, babe,” he says, taking me tighter in his arms. “Don’t stress about that. It should all be in your file. Anyways, I am sure there was nothing he didn’t already know about. Marcus knows and sees all.”
He has a point, but the topic of my past isn’t something I like to talk about with my best friends, let alone a stranger.
I’m exhausted after another hard day of training sessions, with Marcus 'always standing there being creepy' Ryan, watching my every move. I need a stress-free night, more importantly, a boy free night.
Ianna and I settle into the couch that wraps around the theatre room, surrounded by snacks and popcorn and a Rom-Com.
“So, did you finally meet him?”
“Are you referring to Marcus 'scans your freaking brain without permission' Ryan?”
Ianna laughs at me, nodding her head.
“He is intimidating and focused, and after he scanned my freaking brain for my deepest darkest secrets, without asking I might add, he just walked out of the room like it was the most normal thing in the world,” I rant, shaking my head at the conundrum that is Marcus 'Brain Scanner' Ryan.
“Yeah, he is pretty awesome, isn't he? In a sexy, badass, control-freak kind of way. He scans everyone.” Her cheeks blushed pink.
Oh, this is just getting good. A huge smile spreads across my face.
“What happened when he scanned you?”
“He's kind of sweet on me, I think,” she admits quietly.
“Oh, my god, Ianna stop being so damn cryptic about it and just spit it out!” I throw a pillow at her.
“It was a normal scan until the end, and then it got intense. He showed me images, of us kissing, and, well, as sweet it was I was totally embarrassed by it all. I ran out of there as soon as he let my hand go.” Her eyes are so excited and terrified. I am rolling over laughing now.
“Oh, my god! Does Kai know?”
“What? No! I mean, what would I say? It would only hurt his chances if he punches Marcus in the face. It was harmless really.” She shrugs. “Why did it upset you so much?” she asks, taking the attention off her.
“He saw everything,” I confess quietly. “The barn...” I can’t finish that sentence. Years after the fact, and I can't speak the words out loud, can’t talk about the night I killed four people. I shake the thoughts out of my dark and twisted mind. “My interview with him is scheduled for tomorrow morning. He's read my file, Ianna. He knows everything about me.”
“He only knows what is in the file, and all that is in your past, not you now. If they want you in the Titans, your past isn't going to change that. Just talk to him, Nyx. It's what he is here for, he's really not so bad,” she adds softly.
In a breathy voice, I mock her. “He’s really not so bad.” I fan my face.
“Ugh, shut up!” She throws a pillow at my face. We settle in to the couch and watch a Rom-Com marathon. Munching on popcorn, I try not to think about the meeting in the morning that could alter my life for better or worse.
Up bright and early, I am standing in front of Marcus’ office door. Tossing and turning most of the night, I barely slept, trying to anticipate thoughtful answers to anything he might bring up. Taking a deep breath, I knock quietly on his closed door, hoping he won't hear me, so I can go back to bed.
“Come in, Phoenyx,” he calls out, knowing it’s me. As I walk in, he motions for me to sit. “Have a seat, let’s get started.”
Settling into the large, black leather chair that reminds me of Dr. Grey’s office, I pull my knees up to my chest. It’s the only barrier between me and this stranger who knows all my secrets. He sits across from me in an identical chair as he opens my file and starts reading aloud.
“Phoenyx Ember, assumed age is nineteen, though birthplace and date remain unknown. You have lived here at the Academy since you were discovered by trackers at age sixteen. You excel in incendiary offense, hand-to-hand combat, and weapons specialist.” He is reading me my own life story, ticking off items as if it were a shopping list. “You've had a few behavior issues when you first arrived and again recently when you ran away. You were originally found in the remnants of an abandoned barn on a secure compound, which you burned to the ground, killing four people. Correct?”
“My powers are completely under control, Mr. Ryan. Yes, I did have some issues, but I have worked through all of that. I'm sure Mason and Dr. Grey’s progress report is also attached.”
I feel flushed. I hated talking about this stuff, but it’s required so I take deep breaths and try to not pass out from nerves. This interview could make or break my career.
Marcus sits here reading my life on paper, flicking through pages, his brow scrunching when he reads something undesirable, and I watch as he makes a few notes. He looks at me over the top of my file before answering.
“Yes, the report is quite thorough. Your powers are remarkable, Phoenyx. It was to your benefit that you were trained here under the guidance of the Academy. Had you been left alone to survive out the in the world, the collateral damage could have been a lot worse. Trust me, I know.”
Frustrated, I breaking eye contact and say, “I wouldn't call the murder of four innocent people collateral damage, Mr.
Ryan.” My voice is a croak, straining under the despair building in me. Don't cry, Nyx. Do not cry. I blink away the tears trying to fall.
Marcus sighs, closing the file and placing it on the table beside him. “I know it's uncomfortable to discuss these things, Phoenyx, but the fact is, if you are accepted as one of the Titan Elite, this,” he says tapping my file, “becomes public record. Every reporter out there will be digging through all the gory details. Hell, they probably already are. The sooner you make peace with your past, the better,” he states bluntly.
I clear my throat and say, “Do you think the things in there will affect my being chosen?”
He just smiles at me, “What I think is, we have had our eye on you for a while now, and I think we would count ourselves lucky to have someone like you join us. Being a Demigod is never going to be easy, for any of us, and yours is a hard power to harness. Everyone has things in their past they'd like to forget, to change. We all carry these things inside that we want no one else can see. You can either wither under regret or brush it off and begin again. Rise from the ashes, so to speak,” he assures me with a wink. “Everything you have been through has made you the strong, capable woman in front of me. You should be proud that you have come this far despite the things in this file. I'm proud of you, Phee.” He pats my hand.
The nickname takes me by surprise. “Uh, please don't call me that.” He must have pulled that from my memories. In my flashes, my brother calls me Phee.
“Right, sorry, occupational hazard,” he says, clearing his throat, all business again.
“How did you end up working for the Titans?” I ask, relaxing. He has a calming presence about him. Just curling up in this chair talking to him has made me feel calmer.
Phoenyx Rising (Demigods Duet Book 1) Page 18