He chuckles at my attempt of a subject change. “The Titan Elite, and all Demigods for that matter, are kind of... a family business.” His smile fades when he continues. “My father was James Warren.”
Holy crap. James Warren is like the Godfather of all Demigods. He had more money than God and was responsible for creating peace amongst humans and Demigods. “I remember hearing about his death, I’m sorry for your loss.” I wonder what it must have been like to grow up with such a famous father. “Why do you use Ryan as your last name?” I ask.
His eyes lose the light, friendly sparkle and turn a dark grey, like clouds before the storm. “My father’s legacy is... legendary. I don't casually broadcast my family history. I find I get genuine respect without trading on his name. Ryan is my middle name.”
The way he talks about his father is strange, like it makes him sick to even refer to James Warren as his father. That doesn't make sense. James Warren was famous, like seriously the most famous person in the world.
“Why tell me? I mean if you don’t like to tell people, why me?” I ask, curious.
“I... don't know. We should be focusing on you; very unprofessional of me,” he confesses with a smile.
I’m feeling brave, and need answers, answers only he had the power to give them to me. “Can I ask you about your powers?” I ask, pressing my luck, hoping he is still at ease.
“Uh... sure,” he answers, but looks unsure. “Fire away,” he adds with a raised eyebrow.
“How does it work? Like what exactly can you do?” I ask before I talk myself out of this.
With a low chuckle, he answers, “That's a loaded question. I can access people's minds through touch. Their thoughts and memories play out for me like a movie, so I can get a sense of who they really are, rather than the person they project to the world. Most people can convince the world they are one thing, while in their mind, they are hiding someone quite different. I can also place suggestions or ideas.”
“Like compulsion?” Again, I blurt it out, not holding back. “Is that what you did to Ianna?”
“Ah, I see where this is going. You are worried for your friend. I admit I am drawn to her energy and power. She is a remarkable talent,” he admits with a smile. He is smitten with her. Oh crap.
“Yes, she is remarkable. She is also my best friend. You know who else thinks she is remarkable? Her boyfriend,” I note, looking directly at him. “Kai is like a brother to me. I don't want to see either of them hurt, and you seem like the kind of guy who could do that.”
A scowl plays over his intense face for a moment before he finds his calm again.
“I am aware of who she spends her time with. With all due respect, Miss Ember, if Ianna isn't interested in the attention I am giving her, she will tell me herself,” he reprimands, effectively putting me in my place.
“So, you scanned my memories when I shook your hand, right?” I ask, nervous to get shut down now that I’m so close to finding out what I need.
He looks up, surprised. “Usually, I see more. With you, there was a lot of blackness, tiny glimpses of your mother, and then you being ripped away from a boy.”
“My brother,” I add. This information seems to shock him.
“You were being ripped apart, trying to hold onto each other. It was unnerving and intriguing,” he says, his eyes watching me carefully.
“That's one of the earliest memories I have. The rest is the blackness,” I say in a mere whisper.
“If this was your only memory, why do you call him your brother? How can you be certain?”
“I don't know for sure. It's just a feeling I guess. I felt completely safe with him, like I knew he would do anything to protect me. He tried to save me, and I...” I blink against the memories of that night. “Will you to help me find my lost memories, Marcus.”
It all comes out in a rush of words. I sit back and wait for his response. He just stares off, brow creased, not saying a word.
“Please.”
He blinked a few times, coming back to himself.
“I can't... that's not how this is supposed to work.” He is shaking his head. “No, I just can't. Sometimes it's better to not know, it could be blocking a traumatic event on your life, who knows what kind of damage that would cause.” He clears his throat and looks down at his notes again; this conversation is clearly making him uncomfortable.
“Being on tour is a huge responsibility. Do you think you are up for the challenge? Fighting will only be one aspect of your life. Do you think you can commit to the Titan Elite?” He is all business again. Apparently, that conversation is over. Strike one.
I breathe out an exasperated sigh, “I signed the contract like everyone else, Mr. Ryan. I wouldn't be here if I wasn't a 100 percent dedicated to the Titans.” My words are clipped, if he thinks I will give up on finding answers he clearly doesn’t know how stubborn I can be. In response, he just raises one eyebrow in question.
“Personal relationships can hinder the tour if not kept in check. We aren't saying you can't be involved with Asher Blaze. I’m just warning you that if the turbulent nature of your relationship continues on tour, everyone can suffer. Your drama is open season for every reporter out there. Some would find this lack of privacy trying, to say the least.”
“We aren’t talking about a life sentence here. I think the tour will be a great experience, traveling the world. It's an amazing opportunity, for someone like me. I come from nothing, a ward of the Academy. Living the life of a Titan is worth having to give up my private life. And I have no intention of continuing my relationship with Asher. My head is in the game, sir,” I say.
Marcus looks down, trying to hide his smile. “Good to hear.”
He stands, signaling the end of the interview, holding his hand out to shake mine. Hesitating a moment, I meet his eyes. He looks at me, almost daring me to touch him. I accept the challenge, I need him to help me uncover my past, and I need him to trust me.
The moment our fingers touch, my world drops out from under me. I am once again in the blackness. This time, I open up to him, showing him my life willingly. I show him everything. For better or worse, I let him see it all.
“Illuminating, thank you for your honesty.” With a nod, he walks me to the door.
Leaving his office, I feel a sense of pride, knowing that the choices that led me here were the right ones. I rush to Silas' room, excited to tell him everything that happened with Marcus.
“It went fantastic! My God, I was so nervous, and he shot me down when I asked him to help me retrieve my memories, but I think it went really well!” I declare with glee, a huge smile spread across my face.
He stands before me with a matching smile on his gorgeous face. “Never doubted you for a second, babe,” he informs me with pride. I squeal and jump into his arms, so excited to start our future together. This time, I won't throw it away.
Chapter Thirty-One
Come on, Nyx! You can come out with us, have a few drinks. It doesn't always have to end with you blowing a guy in the bathroom,” Ianna teases.
“Bitch!” shaking my head at her bluntness. “I'm not going to turn into a whore from a few drinks; I'm over all that. And, if I end up blowing someone in the bathroom, please make sure it's Silas,” I say with a wink.
We finish getting ready to go out, which isn't out at all, we are headed to the common room, but it will still be a fun night.
The first three shots go down nice and smooth before Ianna and I take up position on the dance floor. I am sweaty and having the best time. Across the room, I see Asher with Imari on his lap and a stabbing pain in my chest reminds me of seeing them together.
“Ugh, she is such a whore,” I complain to Ianna.
“Ignore them! You are better off without that level of bullshit in your life. We are here to celebrate our future, not dwell on the past,” she says, waving them away with her hand.
I do my best to avoid them for the rest of the night, but after another three shots�
�or was it four—Imari is stupid enough to slam into me while walking past and calling me a bitch. Launching on her before anyone knows what happened; I get one satisfying punch in before I’m pulled off her.
Why won't people just let me kick her whore ass? It's so unfair.
“You disgusting whore! Don't ever come near me again or I will kill you!” I scream at her. Okay, so maybe that is a little dramatic, but whatever.
Marcus' fingers dig into my arm painfully and electric current shoots through my body. He pulls me close and whispers in my ear. “Leave now, sleep it off.” He releases my arm out of his grasp.
“I'm leaving,” I announce to him with my hands up in surrender. Imari is still on the ground with Asher cradling her disgusting whore body. “You deserve each other.” I walk out and go straight to my room. I am out the second my head hits the pillow. Sleep it off.
Sporting a hangover from hell, the ache in my head and hand is a steady reminder of the events of the night before. Seeing Imari when I am drunk is always a bad idea. Feeling like death warmed over, I grumble and sit up. Spotting a note on my nightstand, I pick it up and read:
You are suspended for one day.
Use it wisely. Get your head in the game.
-M.R.
Just great. I go out to celebrate my progress and I screwed it up, as usual. Any favoritism I built up in Marcus is long gone after my bullshit last night.
After I shower, I brush my teeth, twice. I go grab a coffee from the kitchen and go for a walk on the beach to process everything, and clear my head.
Nothing Imari said or did was new. Asher and I are broken up, because he cheated, my mind places the ugly truth in my thoughts. I said I would start fresh, forget the past and the first time she antagonizes me I step up to the challenge. Kicking my shoes off, I walk in the cold, wet sand along the coastline, waves crashing at my feet, hoping I didn’t ruin my chances with the Titans.
“Penny for your thoughts?” Marcus injects, interrupting my inner battle. I turn to the sound of his voice, giving him a small smile; I just want to be alone.
“I wanted to check on you. Sorry, I don’t think I handled your little outburst last night very well,” he admits.
I shoot him an annoyed look. “You electrocuted me! And I am assuming you ordered me to go to bed, like a child.” I yell.
Marcus rolls his eyes at me. “I snapped you out of your little tantrum of violent rage,” he says, looking at me like a petulant child. “I am responsible for you, all of you,” he scorns.
I shake my head. “Little tantrum? You have no clue what I have been through! What that bitch has put me through. You think you know me because you read my file and scanned my memories. I have some serious problems, Marcus, but I am doing my best to work through them but you don’t know anything! I lost control for one second,” I admit, shaking my head, “I am okay now, and you can report that I am in complete control of my violent rage.”
“Well, I am glad to hear you’re all right. Imari has a broken nose and a handprint burned into her throat. Silas has been sent to heal her, so she will be presentable for the photo shoot next week,” he declares. I cringe at the thought of Silas healing Imari.
“Crap. I forgot about that. I just lost it, you know. Please don’t kick me out of the program, Marcus!” I say, pleading with him.
“I could kick you out, easily. The bottom line is this; we want you in the Titans. Your violent rage is good for business. So, relax.” He smiles at me, and instantly I am relaxed.
We stand there staring out at the waves crashing in silence for a few moments before I say, “Thank you, Marcus.”
He puts his arm over my shoulder, leans down, and kisses the top of my head. Shrugging, he turns to walk away, calling over his shoulder, “Anytime kid, anytime.”
Since the last public activity was a bust, we all decided to give it another shot; this time with me not drinking. We’re going to explore the restricted basement. Marcus suggested we go on a mission as a team, I think it will help us all try to get along and find our friendship again.
It is hard to interact with both Silas and Asher daily with the memories bombarding me, the good and the bad. Fact is, we are all part of this team, and the better we work together, the stronger we will be as Titans.
We are all wandering around, looking at the solitary rooms. I am not the only one of us who has been locked away down here; I spent the most time locked up. So, they are all curious what it was like. Apparently, my constant freaking about it wasn't enough of an explanation.
We wander from room to room, each one looking the same as the last until we reach the room at the end of the hall. It's a mess. The walls are torched black. Running my hands over the gouges in the rough walls, I can almost feel the anguish in each groove I dug. My desperate loneliness etched into these four walls.
Ianna comes up to me and wraps her arms around me tightly. “Oh, Nyx,” she says, squeezing me tight. “It must have been horrible down here.”
Looking around, it feels like a dream, like it wasn't really me.
“I was so scared. All I remembered was my name. They accusing me of these horrible things, saying I deserved to be locked away, that I deserved to die.” I continue shaking my head. “I know now I was in here to keep all of you safe, I was unstable and not ready to be let out. It's funny how much I love the Academy now, when back then, I thought I was in hell,” I tell them.
I have come a long way since the girl who was trapped in this room. I feel like I have a future and a family. Tears fill my eyes.
“Everything I went through to get here was worth it, because I finally feel at home. I finally have a family in you guys. I love you all,” I say, tears falling.
We all grab hold of each other in a group hug, even Asher. We are a team; we are a family. One I will never take for granted. I will protect them with my life, always.
It's the last day before winter break. Today we will all say our final goodbyes, hoping we get the call over the next few weeks saying we were chosen for the Titans. This is it, all our training and hard work will have paid off or will have all been in vain. Only time will tell.
Ianna is packed up, ready to go spend the holidays with Kai's family. No doubt spending the whole winter break in her bathing suit surfing. Why would she even bother to pack clothes? I watch her, making a silent list in her head, lips moving as she counts off items on her fingers while staring at her suitcase, I can't help but laugh.
“How many bathing suits does one girl need?” I ask, looking at the huge pile sitting in her suitcase.
She looks over and smiles. “Awe, what will I do without you and your snarky little attitude brightening my every day.” She shakes her head then chucks a pillow at my face. I catch it and hug it close. My heart hurts thinking of never seeing her again.
Kai knocks on the door and walks in. “The car’s out front, you ready, babe?” he asks Ianna.
“Yes? Yes. I think? Yes, I am,” she states without an ounce of certainty. Her hands on her hips, she turns to me. “You could come with us you know, knock a few guards out, we could make a day of it,” she jokes with a smile.
I shake my head. “I’m staying out of trouble, it will be my last time this place will be my home before the call comes, or doesn't come.” I close my eyes, what will happen to me if I don't get picked.
“What if I don't get the call, Ianna? This could be the last time I ever see you,” I say as she sits on my bed and touches my hand.
“You know Marcus will be falling all over himself to pick you. You have nothing to worry about,” she reassures me.
I stand and hug her tight. Kai jumps in for a group hug, and we all laugh.
“I am going to miss you both so much,” I declare tearing up.
“Oh, hush now. See you in a few weeks, okay? Text me the second you get the call,” she says with a smile, always so optimistic.
They head out the door, and I smile, thinking about the first time I met Ianna and Kai. I was such a
mess. I got my fresh start; nothing is going stop me now, unless I don’t get the call.
I needed to go for a run to get my mind off everything. Running works, but my mind wanders to Marcus, where he spends his winter, and if I will ever see him again. There is something about him that flusters me. He is so puzzling; life couldn't have been easy growing up a light chaser.
Not watching where I’m going, I trip over a rock and fall right into a puddle. “Fan-freaking-tastic,” I say to myself.
Hands are quickly on me, pulling me up. I assume its Silas, but I glance up to see Marcus helping me stand, dusting me off, fussing over me in a parental way like I’m a helpless child.
“Were you even looking where you were going, Phee?”
I pulled my arm out of his grasp, glaring at him. He refuses to help me find answers about my past, but he insists on helping me now?
“My name is Phoenyx. You can't just pluck a nickname out of my private memories and use it. That's personal, Marcus,” I state with an edge of anger, wiping my wet hands off on my even wetter pants. Realizing it’s a lost cause, I cross my arms over my chest and stare up at him.
Shaking his head, he says, “I was trying to help.” He turns to walk away and I lose it.
“Help me? You are the only person who can help me and you refuse. You have the power to find those lost memories, to break this wall someone built in my head, but you refuse. So, don't bother coming to my rescue now.” It could cost me the Titans, but I needed to have my say.
“You don't want those memories, believe me, some things are better left unknown,” he pleads with me.
I see red. “How dare you! You keep these things hidden from me, claiming they protect me. You say you’re here to help, but you won’t. It’s your choice; don’t act like it’s a burden. They are my memories, my life. Who do you think you are?” I scream at him.
“I'm your brother, that's who! You are so stubborn. You wouldn't even be alive today if it weren't for me protecting you,” Marcus screams in my face. It takes me a minute to realize what he just told me. Brother. What the actual fuck?
Phoenyx Rising (Demigods Duet Book 1) Page 19