Amish Willow

by Samantha Price

  “Good.”

  “Let’s turn around and tell my parents that we’re getting married.”

  “Nee, then mine won’t be first to know,” Willow said.

  He drew his eyebrows together. “Hmmm. I can see we'll have to work it out to have them all in the same place.”

  Willow said, “Let’s all have dinner with Violet and Nathan, and we can tell everyone then.”

  “How far away will that be? I want everyone to know now. I want to yell it from the mountaintops.”

  Willow giggled. “I can talk to Violet tomorrow on the way home from the job interview. I’ll ask if we can have that dinner as soon as possible.”

  He leaned in and said quietly, “Are you able to keep the secret for that long?”

  “It won’t matter if I just tell Violet, will it?”

  Samuel laughed. “I knew it. I know you well already. When did you start liking me? Because you didn’t like me when your parents and my parents were trying to push us together.”

  “It was just after that, actually, when I went to apologize to your mother, and you and I talked outside your house. That's when I first got to know you better. And what about you?”

  “When did I start liking you?”

  Willow nodded.

  “I’ve always liked you, as far back as I remember knowing who you were. I told my mudder, and she must’ve said something to your parents, and things got out of control from there.”

  Willow moved to rest her head against his shoulder. It made her feel good that he’d liked her for a long time.

  “I’ll get you home.” He put one arm around her, and with the other he signaled with the reins for the horse to move back onto the road. “I don’t need to get into trouble with your vadder for getting you home late.”

  Willow was pleased that she was about to embark on the new adventure of marriage. She’d be a young bride and if it was in God’s will she’d be a young mother and her child could play with her new brother or sister. By that time, Violet might have a child too. In less than two years, there could be three babies in their family.

  “What are you thinking about, Willow?”

  “Thinking about you and what our life will be like together.”

  “I only hope your parents haven’t changed their minds.”

  “Nee, they love you. Trust me on that one.”

  He chuckled as he stopped the buggy outside her house. She slid across the seat to get out and he grabbed her hand, leaned forward, and gave it a quick kiss.

  She smiled at him. “Goodnight.”

  “I’m seeing the bishop tomorrow and I’ll make the arrangements.”

  “What? Before our parents know?”

  “He’ll keep it quiet.”

  Willow giggled, pleased that he was just as anxious to marry her as she was to marry him. Everything had gone perfectly when she’d left things in God’s hands. She told herself that was something she’d need to do more often.

  “Goodnight, Samuel.”

  He blew her a kiss before he turned the buggy. Willow watched him leave. As she walked into the house, she tried to put it out of her mind that their parents really had known best.

  Chapter 16

  Willow’s Wedding

  * * *

  Weddings weren’t Valerie Miller’s favorite functions. In fact, all the weddings she’d been to in the past years had filled her with sorrow, even though she did her best to be happy for the couples getting married. Her unhappiness with weddings began when the man she loved married another woman. This wasn’t a case of sour grapes; the man in question had professed his love to her and just weeks later he married someone else.

  That was something from which Valerie had never recovered. Trying to hide her pain, she gave in to Dirk Miller and finally agreed to marry him. The cure for her ailment, which was marrying Dirk, only made matters worse when Dirk accused her of still being in love with Ed. It was against God’s rules and, of course, against the Ordnung to love a married man, and she fought against it the best she could, turning her attention to making her marriage a happy one. She’d realized as far back as on the day of her wedding that the marriage had been a mistake, but by then it was too late.

  How could her marriage be happy when Dirk realized she still was harboring feelings for another man? Dirk was always raising Ed Bontrager’s name and throwing it in her face. It couldn’t have been easy for Dirk, but as much as Valerie pushed her feelings for Ed aside, her marriage wasn’t happy.

  Valerie looked over at her young friends sitting at the main table of the wedding feast. Willow, the daughter of her good friend, had just married Samuel. Always being one to offer her help in the kitchen, Valerie was now on a designated break and would soon be back in the kitchen, when it was time to start serving the next course.

  Ed, now widowed for some years, moved from the table where he’d been and sat down beside her. “Don’t you just love weddings?” he asked, smiling at her.

  Nee! I don’t! she thought. The thought sent a shiver along her spine. She pushed her dreadful wedding day from her mind.

  Giving him a quick smile while pushing a forkful of food into her mouth, she thought how best to answer his question without sounding bitter. How did he expect her to answer? It was a funny question coming from him, seeing what he’d done to her. They would’ve had a wonderful marriage, hadn’t he known that? If only he’d chosen her.

  Now that they were both widowed, they’d spent a great deal of time with one another. Lately, Ed had hinted of marriage, but Valerie’s wounds ran deep. How could she forgive the man if he’d never apologized for not informing her he’d fallen in love with another?

  “They look happy,” Valerie said, looking across at the young couple and skillfully avoiding answering his question directly.

  “Jah, they do.”

  She ate some more.

  “We could be just as happy.”

  She gave him a sideways glance. It was another of his hints that they should marry. If he ever asked her outright, she would tell him what stood in their way. “Could we?”

  “Well, don’t you think so?”

  “Depends.”

  “Some things make sense, that’s all.”

  Had his first wife received a proper and direct proposal of marriage? “Some things seem to make sense, but then you find out they don’t make sense at all.”

  “What’s holding you back from being happy, Valerie?”

  She turned and looked into his blue-green eyes. He’d stopped her from being happy the moment he married another woman. “I am happy. I’m always happy. I wasn’t too pleased about selling off my land, but I got to keep my haus, and the chicken haus, and enough land for a large vegetable garden, so I can’t complain about that. I would say I’m generally cheerful all the time.” She tried not to dwell on how her late husband had left her in financial ruin due to his inability to manage their farm properly.

  “Good to hear. Good to hear,” Ed said, seemingly oblivious to the overdue explanation he owed Valerie.

  She looked down at her food—roast turkey and her favorite baked vegetables, with cabbage and apple salad. All she wanted to know from him was why. It had been more painful to learn about his wedding to Rita from someone else. Maybe if he’d been man enough to tell her he’d fallen in love with another woman, her pain wouldn’t have been so great. To hear nothing from him had made her feel worthless.

  They never talked about what happened back then, but they needed to. That’s what he should’ve been talking about, rather than dropping hints about marriage.

  Valerie again glanced up at young Willow. She was so young and didn’t realize how blessed she was to be marrying the man of her choice. Why hadn’t things worked out for Valerie? Normally she buried her feelings deep inside, not wanting to be a bitter and twisted old woman who begrudged others their happiness because she’d had none of her own.

  A childless widow was what she was. That was not the life she’d thought she’d ha
ve, back when she’d been a young girl looking forward. She’d assumed she’d have a happy home with a man she loved, and raise a brood of children. Looking around her she saw nearly everyone else had that happiness. If only she hadn’t still loved Ed so much. It hadn’t been easy to block her heart against this man for so long.

  Swallowing hard, she turned to Ed. Maybe he had loved two women, or had he not loved her at all? Even if he’d loved her, he’d loved Rita a shade more because she was the one he’d chosen to marry.

  “What is it?” he asked softly.

  Shaking her head, she looked back at her plate and politely pushed her fork into a piece of turkey. “Nothing.”

  “Something’s been bothering you for a while. Won’t you tell me what it is?”

  One of them had to start the conversation and she was done waiting for it to be him. “Well, the thing is, I’ve always been wondering—”

  “Mind if we join you two?”

  They looked up to see Nerida and Nancy holding a plate of food each.

  “Of course we don’t mind, sit down,” Ed said.

  Nancy’s eyes twinkled. “We didn’t know if you two were having a private conversation or if anyone could join in.”

  “We weren’t talking about anything important, were we, Ed?” Valerie asked.

  “I guess not.”

  Valerie was relieved she hadn’t mentioned anything, because he should be the one to tell her what happened back then.

  Valerie was glad that Nancy and Nerida had sat down with them. The two sisters were always so vibrant, and since Dirk’s death, they’d become her good friends.

  Even though Nerida’s youngest daughter, Willow, had just gotten married, Nerida had recently received the surprising news that she was about to become a mother again. Now her family was starting to get used to the idea. It had been a shock to both Willow and Violet because, they said, their future children would be very close in age to their new sibling, who would be an aunt or uncle to their babies.

  It wasn’t long before Ed excused himself. “I can see I’m outnumbered. I’ll go find some men to talk to.”

  Nerida and Nancy giggled at what he said, and then he turned around and gave Valerie a big smile before he left.

  “Things are progressing there, I see.” Nancy gave Valerie a little wink.

  “We’ve always been good friends.”

  Nerida leaned forward. “And now becoming a little more than friends?”

  “Just you worry about knitting booties for your new boppli.”

  “That’s quite some months away. I need to keep myself occupied with something in the meantime.”

  “Don’t look at me.” Valerie finished the last of her food.

  Nancy leaned across the table and spoke in a low voice. “I’ve been quiet about this for some time, Valerie, but you and Ed together … it just makes sense.”

  Valerie raised her eyebrows at Nancy saying something so similar to what Ed had just said. Then she fiddled with the strings of her prayer kapp, twisting them through her fingers. “There’s more to these things than you know. Anyway, just because you’ve got the last of your girls married off, don’t go thinking you can turn your attention to me, trying to get me married.” Valerie laughed as though she didn’t care about getting married. She wanted to marry Ed, but only if he acknowledged how he’d hurt her, and gave her a sincere apology. Then they’d be able to move forward. She gestured toward the crowd. “I’m sure there are plenty of young girls here who would love your help in finding husbands, Nancy.”

  “Jah, and I’ll work my way through them. Gott has given me the gift of matching people. I just want to see you happy, too, Valerie,” Nancy said.

  “I am happy. I’m happy every day of my life.”

  “But with a man, your life would be so much better.” Nerida dabbed at her mouth with a napkin when she finished swallowing a mouthful. “It’s nice to have someone to share your life with, don’t you think?” She stared at Valerie, waiting for her to respond.

  Sharing her life with Dirk really hadn’t been good, but she would never admit to that. “There are good things about being on your own, and there are good things about being married. At this time in my life I choose to be alone, and surely that’s my choice to make. There’s nothing wrong with being alone.”

  Nancy drew back as though she’d been struck. “If that’s what you want, Valerie. I would never try to push you into something you didn’t want. You and Ed are always together. I thought for certain you’d marry and I thought you two would be married before now.”

  “Jah, we both expected it, didn’t we, Nancy?”

  Nancy nodded. “Jah.”

  “We want you to be as happy as we are,” Nerida stated flatly.

  Valerie tried to throw them off the track. “Well, I am. I’m not sure about Ed. Maybe he doesn’t want to marry again.”

  Nancy leaned forward. “What?”

  “Nothing. Look at Willow,” Valerie said, just to change the conversation. “I’ve never seen her look so happy. She’s simply glowing.”

  They turned around and looked at Willow.

  “She certainly is,” Nerida said when she turned back around.

  “And you’re glowing too, Nerida. Your skin is simply radiant.”

  That made Nerida happy. A definite hint of a smile appeared around the corners of her mouth.

  “Nerida and John’s news was a big surprise to everybody,” Nancy said of Nerida’s late-in-life pregnancy.

  As the women chatted about the new baby, Valerie occasionally looked around for Ed. She couldn’t deny there was still a bond between them even though a good part of her wished there wasn’t.

  After a while, Valerie stood up, excused herself, and headed back to the kitchen.

  With her hands in sudsy water and scrubbing dishes, she figured all thoughts of ‘happy ever after’ would be the last things on her mind.

  * * *

  “What do you think is wrong with her?” Nancy asked Nerida once Valerie had left them.

  “Haven’t you noticed she’s always like this at weddings?”

  “Nee.”

  “Well, I’ve noticed. She didn’t have a happy marriage with Dirk.”

  “I know that,” Nancy said. “Do you think that’s why she and Ed have never gotten married?”

  Nerida rubbed her belly. “I’m guessing it started way before that. Something happened in the past. Do you remember she and Ed dated before Ed got married to Rita?”

  “Jah, I thought that’s how things were.”

  “What happened?” Nerida asked.

  “I don’t know.” Seeing Nerida staring in disbelief, she said, “I can’t know everything about everyone.”

  “I thought you might have heard something from Hezekiah since he’s close with the bishop and must get to hear things. I’m just saying that something must’ve happened. Something caused them to split up—to break up—and when they did, Ed didn’t waste any time getting married.”

  Nancy nodded. “You’re right. They had some hiccup. They must’ve. I wonder if it was just because they were too far away from each other with her still living in Ohio and Ed being here and spending the other part of his time in Lowville?”

  “Was he in Lowville to see Rita?”

  “Nee, his onkel and other familye are from there. As far as I know, he was working there some of the time.”

  Nerida said, “They had a disagreement about something. And maybe they still disagree about the same thing and that’s why they’re not married.”

  “Jah, you must be right. There’s something they disagree about.”

  “Although, I can’t think what that would be.”

  “It doesn’t have to be anything that big,” Nancy pointed out. “Many couples argue about things that are small.”

  “Do you think we should find out what it is and see what we can do about it?”

  “Jah, of course. We must. I’m sure she’d be much happier if she was married and neithe
r of them is getting any younger.”

  “We’ll have to make a plan,” Nerida said.

  “And we can’t let Valerie know what we’re doing. She acted weird right now when we mentioned Ed and marriage.”

  “Maybe it’s Ed who doesn’t want to get married, like she suggested. Did you think of that?”

  Nancy drummed her fingers on the table. “We’ll have to find that out before we formulate a plan.”

  They looked around for Ed and saw him talking to John, Nerida’s husband.

  “Let’s go and talk to him now.”

  Nerida shook her head. “We can’t. We can’t risk John finding out what we’re doing. He won’t approve.”

  “It’s Valerie’s birthday coming up soon if I’m not wrong.”

  “That’s not until next month.”

  A smile brightened Nancy’s face. “I’ll have a big birthday dinner for her at my place and I’ll be sure to invite Ed. And then we’ll gauge how they are with each other when they’re in the same room.”

  “It seems a long way away.”

  “It is, but we’ve got to be clever about this. We can’t let anybody know what we’re doing so we can’t do anything out of the ordinary. And having a birthday dinner for Valerie would be something that we’d normally do.”

  Nerida nodded. “You’re right. Okay, we’ll arrange that.”

  “Good.”

  Chapter 17

  Just as Valerie had finished with washing her breakfast dishes, she heard a buggy making its way toward the house. A quick glance out the kitchen window showed her it was Ed Bontrager’s black horse pulling the buggy. This was nothing unusual since he visited her nearly every day. Sometimes his visits would be brief and sometimes he would stay for an hour or two and they would simply talk and pass the time together as friends.

  She opened the front door and waited for him. As soon as he came closer and she saw his face, she knew he was troubled about something.

  “What is it, Ed?”

  He took off his hat as he walked up the porch steps and then he smoothed down his gray hair. “I have something to ask you.”