by Lexi Blake
Josh stared at the door for a second longer before sighing. “Yeah, I know how to handle the press at least. I’ve learned that being a nice guy makes for a shitty story. Why were you so concerned about who riled that man up, Kay?”
She looked over at him. Now that the doors had closed, a tension had crept back into his stance. She wasn’t about to crank him up more. It also wasn’t like she could blurt out hey, I wonder if the CIA is involved in tonight’s clusterfuck. “I’m curious about who would send him your way.”
He shook his head. “Like I said, some real-life troll. Or a reporter. He was very likely standing outside waiting to see if he could get some exclusive photos. Calling me a liar and a thief always sells papers. I didn’t recognize the name. I’m not going to worry about it. I have lots of other things to worry about. Shane, we’re going to bed. Thank you for your work this evening.”
“Dec is taking the night shift. He’ll be up and monitoring the security system. I’ll see you two in the morning when I take over,” Shane said as he turned to go back to the east wing of the house where the men were sharing a room. “Kay, ping me if you need anything.”
Silence descended as Shane walked away, leaving them alone.
She stared at him for a moment and wondered if he’d really done it to manipulate the press. Nothing about how he’d acted in the last half hour told her he’d been lying to Allen Houston. “That was enlightening, Joshua.”
“In what way?”
“I think you were telling that man the truth. I think you let him go because you know what it means to be desperate. It was a very nice thing to do.”
His face went blank. “Was it? Don’t think I’m some sort of nice guy. I do know what desperation feels like. I won’t ever go back there again, and don’t think for a second I wouldn’t squash that man like a bug if he truly threatened me. He’s nothing to me, but I’m smart enough to know that it’s better for me if he shuts down the trouble himself rather than gets filmed being hauled off my property kicking and screaming. Now take it off and let me see it.”
There was no pretending she misunderstood what he wanted. He’d been fixated on her neck since the moment she’d walked back in wearing the scarf. He wanted to see it, she would let him. She unwound the scarf and let her head fall to one side.
He moved in, his fingertips brushing the places where he’d lightly bruised her skin. He stepped back and seemed to have lost a lot of his coloring. His skin was a pasty white in the low light. “It should heal in a day or two. It’ll be worse tomorrow.”
“It’s not a big deal.” She could wear the scarf for a day or two if she had to, but she’d looked at it herself and didn’t think it would bruise badly. After all, this wasn’t her first rodeo. She knew what her skin looked like when someone brutalized her, and this wasn’t it.
“Yes, it is. I think you should go to your room now.”
She didn’t want to leave him alone. She wanted to get at least partially back to the intimacy of earlier. They’d been working toward something. “You know what would make me feel better?”
His eyes fastened on her. “What? Ice cream? I don’t have any, but I can send someone. I should have thought about that. Or hot tea? I do have that. I can make you some tea and there’s organic honey somewhere. I’ve heard that can soothe a sore throat.”
She shook her head. “I don’t need that. How about a kiss? We’ve had sex, but you haven’t kissed me. How about you kiss me until I can’t think any more and we’ll call it even?”
It was one thing she’d missed during their scene. He hadn’t kissed her, hadn’t pressed those magnificent lips against hers and stroked his tongue into her mouth. The truth was she’d been thinking about kissing him since the moment she’d agreed to take this job.
He was quiet for a moment. “You’re under a mistaken impression. That’s not going to happen. Not ever. I don’t kiss, Kayla.”
“What?”
“I don’t kiss. I haven’t kissed anyone in years, not unless it’s in the script, and I’m not going to start now. If you were looking forward to teenaged make-out sessions, you’re out of luck. I’m not going to sleep with you either.”
She’d meant to talk to him about that. “I thought the whole point was to have me close so I could protect you.”
“No, I hired you so I didn’t have to find a woman who would get hurt because she was close to me. You’re convenient. You possess the skills to protect me and you don’t mind me using your body. At least, that was supposed to be our bargain. I assure you, you’ll hear me scream and come running if something happens, but I was never going to share a bed with you. Did you read the contract? Have I made a mistake?”
Wow. That hurt. That was an actual kick in the gut, and if she hadn’t felt used before, she sure as hell did now. She put a hand up to stop his questions. “I read it. I assumed since we were having sexual intercourse that I would be sleeping with you and that you would kiss me from time to time. I get it now. Only penises and vaginas involved.”
An arrogant smirk marked his face and he crossed his hands over his chest. “See, this is why I told Jared it couldn’t work. No woman can accept sex on a base level. You always want more.”
That was where he was wrong. He’d very effectively killed any fantasy she still held about him. “I spent years and years of my life accepting exactly that. Thank you. I’m going to be honest, you’re very good at what you do. You made me feel a connection to you that didn’t exist from your end. I’ll kill it from mine and we’ll both be free to enjoy the physical aspects of our contract. Am I allowed to find my bed now?”
His whole body seemed to sigh. “I don’t kiss anyone. It’s not…it’s not about you. Kissing…it means something to me. It’s intimate and I can’t do it.”
But on screen he kissed like a god. Kissed like a god and made everyone in the audience believe he was a real live boy.
It was all part of his gorgeous façade, and she forgot that at her peril.
He was a job and it wasn’t her place to fix whatever was broken inside him. She thought she was damaged? Well, maybe she wasn’t as far gone as she believed. At least she was willing to try. She wouldn’t be trying with him, but there was no reason for anger. Anger was utterly irrational in this case. He hadn’t promised her anything. He’d given her pleasure, and it was obvious there was a whole war fought inside that beautiful body of his.
It wasn’t her war. After all, she had a job to do and he’d made it easier because she wasn’t going to become emotionally attached to a man as cold as this one.
She looked up at him, banishing all those stupid thoughts that had played around in her head. “It’s okay, Joshua. I haven’t kissed anyone in a long time and I was looking forward to it, but you’re right. It should be meaningful. It should mean more than some contractual obligation. I’ll save my kisses for outside the job.”
He blocked her when she tried for the hallway. “What is that supposed to mean?”
She sighed inwardly, so sick of sulky boys who pretended to be men. The truth was he’d been honest with her all along. He’d shown her exactly who he was and what he thought of her. She was a toy, and while he didn’t want to play with certain pieces of her, he wouldn’t allow anyone else to either. “I wasn’t saying I’m going to look for a date. This is a job. It will end at some point in time and then I’ll find someone to mack down on.”
“Back in England?”
She shook her head. “I’m not doing this with you. You can’t have it both ways. I’ve sworn I’ll honor the contract. You can’t tell me in one sentence that I’m nothing to you and then be a jealous ass two seconds later.”
His face clouded as though he hadn’t thought about it. His shoulders came down and red stained his cheeks. “I’m sorry. You’re right.”
At least he could be reasonable. “Good. I’ll see you in the morning. Do you want me to join you for your run or Shane?”
He stared down at her for a moment. “You’re
not planning on sulking?”
“I am totally sulk free.”
“Because it won’t get you anything from me.”
Jeez, who did he deal with on a regular basis? She couldn’t help but laugh. “I think I can forego the sulking. Can you do the same with this broody thing you have going on? I won’t try to kiss you or climb into your bed for cuddles if you promise to do this weird thing with your face I want you to try.”
One brow rose. “And that would be?”
She gave him her biggest grin. “Smile, Mr. Hunt. Just smile a couple of times a day and we’ll get along. I’ll let Shane run with you. I think I’ll make muffins in the morning and watch the ocean. Good night. Scream if someone’s trying to kill you.”
“Kayla,” he began.
But she was done for the night. Well, with him. She had another couple of men she needed to yell at before she went to bed. “Good night, Joshua.”
He was silent as she started upstairs and found her room. She closed the door and took a long breath. The room was as colorless and clean as the rest of the place. A designer paradise with nothing of the owner in it.
Joshua Hunt was very much like this place. Beautifully designed and vacant of real humanity.
She had to remember that always.
Chapter Six
Kay came awake to the knock on her door. Without thinking about it, she reached for the SIG she’d placed on the nightstand and eased out of bed. Sunlight crept in through the blinds, but it was only a hint at this point, the gray of predawn giving way to a stream of pinks and oranges.
She glanced down at her phone, but there was nothing there. No texts or calls. Dec or Shane would have contacted her first on her phone. So that meant this was likely Josh.
Still, she wasn’t putting the gun down until she had confirmation.
She glanced at the clock. Six twenty-two. He was an early riser. Damn CIA jobs. She could be all warm and cozy in her flat at The Garden, but no, she had to go back into the spy shit. They’d tempted her with patriotism and sex with a Hollywood hottie. When this was over she would have a long talk with her libido about toning it down and accepting that her true soul mate came with batteries and a detachable head.
Belting her robe around her naked body, she moved to the door as another, more insistent knock came.
She opened the door, her SIG still in her right hand. “Is there a problem?”
He was big and muscular, and there was that vulnerable thing in his eyes again that seemed to kick the shit out of her good sense. He stood in her doorway, a delicious piece of man meat, and all she could think about was the look in his eyes. Hungry. Wary. Unsure of his welcome. God, she was a sucker for that look.
He wasn’t dressed for a jog. He was still in a pair of cotton pajama bottoms and nothing else. Those wretchedly hot abs were on full display and yep, her libido was starting to groove about real-man loving. Her libido had very little common sense.
“Are you still mad at me?” Joshua asked, his voice husky with sleep.
Seriously? There was only one reason he would ask that question. He wanted some exercise that wasn’t a run. If they’d been trying a real relationship, she would have slammed the door in his face and told him to fuck himself.
But they weren’t. This was what she’d come here to do. She’d come here to gain some kind of power over him, and she wasn’t going to be able to do that by playing the outraged lover. Distance wasn’t going to solve her problem. Hell, she had to know if she could solve her problem.
Besides, the mere sight of the man did things to her pink parts. She wasn’t stupid. Her body already craved his. The trick was to keep her soul out of the bargain. He’d made himself plain the night before. It had been a kind of gift. She hadn’t gone to sleep dreaming about being in his arms or some shit.
“Did you want me in the dungeon?” She pulled at the tie of her robe and it fell open, giving him a glimpse of her naked body.
Let the games begin.
That was how she would view it. They were playing a game and she intended to win.
His eyes went straight to her breasts. “Just like that?”
“You’re the Master, Joshua. That’s how this works.” She strode back into her room and placed the SIG on the nightstand table. She eased out of the robe because she’d promised him nudity. Vulnerability. “If you want me, you tell me. I’m in no physical discomfort where I wouldn’t enjoy a session, so I’ll comply. We settled things last night. This is about sex and it’s about you and not me. I’m here to please you and to protect you.”
His jaw tightened but he didn’t look away from her. “And in return?”
Why was he pushing this? “I get a paycheck. A rather large one.”
She could see easily that her reply displeased him and yet it was exactly what he’d asked for.
He stepped into the room, blocking her access to the door. “Then I suppose you should earn it.”
She put her hands on her hips. “What is the problem now? I asked you to kiss me and yes, it disappointed me that you wouldn’t. But I’m not sulking. You didn’t want to sleep with me. I came in here. Again with the not sulking or making demands. You knock on my door and ask for sex. I offer to meet you in the dungeon. So far, I’ve done everything you’ve asked me to do and none of it has pleased you. I think it might be time to cut our losses.”
If she had no control or influence over him, she was useless, and humiliating herself wasn’t something she did for fun.
They would have to find someone else or another way to get to him because it didn’t look like seduction was going to work.
“You’re the only person in my life who fucking does that,” he said with a rueful shake of his head.
“Does what?”
“Tells me when I’m being an ass.”
Probably because he got rid of all the ones who did. Or was it possible no one ever stood up to him because they were scared of getting thrown off the gravy train? “You’re definitely being an ass. What do you want from me, Joshua? I’m not going to be your doormat. There’s not enough money in the world for that.”
He moved in, his eyes still on her body, his hands coming up to cup her shoulders. He stared down at her for a moment, his thumb tracing the scar under her clavicle. He seemed fascinated by it. After a moment, he looked her in the eyes. “I felt bad about last night. That’s not it. I feel bad about last night. I can’t seem to let it go. You asked for one thing and I didn’t give it to you.”
This was about his trigger episode. “I told you; it’s all right. I’m not even sore today.”
He shook his head. “It’s not all right and I want to make it up to you. You asked me what I want. I don’t know. I haven’t had this kind of relationship before and I thought it would be simple. I guess I thought it wouldn’t be a real relationship, but it kind of feels that way already. I didn’t like the thought of you being upset. I definitely didn’t like being the reason for it. I’m on shaky ground here and I don’t deal well with that. I like being in control, and I’m not entirely right now. I don’t want to kiss you because of things that had happened in my past. Can you accept that?”
Kissing was a bad idea. She got that now. “Yes.”
“I don’t want to sleep with you because I have terrible dreams and I’m worried I’ll wake up with my hands around your throat again.”
“Then I would set you on your ass.” She shook her head because that wasn’t what he needed. He needed smooth and easy compliance. “It’s okay. I can hear you if something happens. I’m fine in this room.”
“But I sat up most of the night and I thought about something you said.” His hands moved down her shoulders and onto her arms, smoothing the skin there. “I can adapt. Come here. I don’t want it to be cold between us. I don’t. I get enough cold. I need something in my life that’s warm.”
His arms went around her awkwardly, as though it had been a long time since he’d initiated a hug. Who the hell was this man? He was goin
g to kill her because she was softening up again when she’d promised not to.
She let her arms drift up and around his chest, reveling in the way his skin felt against hers. Warm and secure. This was what she’d missed last night. The sex itself had been spectacular, the work of a true master, but they’d lacked any kind of deeper intimacy, anything that went beyond the contract between Dom and submissive.
She’d thought sex was all she needed, but he was proving her wrong. It was easy to lean into his hard strength and let him wrap his arms around her. After the initial awkward moment, he seemed to clutch at her as though afraid of letting her go.
“This isn’t so bad.” His forehead came down, nestling against hers, and he breathed her in. “Did you sleep naked?”
“I did. It’s a habit, but I keep a robe close.” She let her hands wander over the strong muscles of his back because he seemed to enjoy the sensation. It made her wonder how long it had been since he’d had anything but straight up D/s sex. It reminded her that even something as intimate as sex could be made cold. Even kinky sex. “I promise I won’t run out to save you with my hootchie on display.”
His hands roamed over her back and the curve of her ass. “I think it would be an effective way to distract whoever was coming for me. You’re so fucking gorgeous. I thought about you all last night. I wanted to come in here.”
He wanted to have sex, but she was way more okay with the thought than she’d been before. Her body was heating up quite nicely, and she could feel his erection against her belly.
It would be a nice way to wake up. It would also be a nice way to bind him to her. “Do you want to go to the dungeon?”
His forehead moved against hers, shaking in the negative. “I want you to lie down on the bed and I’ll…adapt.”
Adapt because he didn’t have sex outside the dungeon? She had to admit it would be nice to do it in a bed every now and then. Of course, if she wanted to get to the dungeon, the way to do that was to question him. He’d told her what he wanted so she moved away from him, walking to the bed she’d spent the night in. It was a lovely queen with soft sheets and the sound of the ocean there to lull her to sleep. She climbed on it and laid back, wondering if she would find herself flipped over and the discipline beginning.