Nobody_Does_It_Better_Kobo

by Lexi Blake

  “How did Kayla end up in the States?” He didn’t want to be fascinated by that woman. He wanted the cold he’d felt yesterday, to be able to easily wave this guy off because he didn’t care to know anything more about her.

  “She was born when China had the one child rule. Her mother discovered she was having twins and found an underground that helped out women in her condition. She delivered the twins in a small rural hospital where they doctored the records, and then she kept Kun and sent Kay to an orphanage. Again, not something you can truly understand until you’ve held your own kid in your hand. The sacrifice her mother made was incredible.”

  “And then Kay was adopted by Fred and Jim and came to California,” he finished. What a miracle for her. Not a miracle. Her mother had made that happen.

  “Yes, and then years later, her sister reached out. Kun had been recruited by Chinese intelligence. At a young age, she showed a propensity for moral flexibility, physical prowess, and high intelligence combined with a lack of compassion.”

  “She was a sociopath.” All that psych came in handy from time to time.

  “Yes, but we don’t tell Kay that,” Taggart said, his voice deep. “She thinks her sister was a victim of circumstance, and for the most part she was. But she was twisted. Whether that happened as a circumstance of birth or what MSS did to her, she became quite good at torture and killing. But Kun was excellent at pretending to be an actual human being. She would have made a fine actress. She took what she knew from her mother and managed to find her sister. She reached out to the Agency, saying she wanted to connect to the sister she’d never met. Naturally, the Agency got right on that. Kun wrote to her, started a conversation, and then went in for the kill.”

  There had been two Kaylas. It was hard to imagine. Did she miss her sister? Even though she hadn’t known her, sometimes twins felt the loss as something missing deep inside them. Did Kayla feel incomplete without her twin? “She wanted to come to the US?”

  “Oh, yes. And that’s when the Agency came up with the plan,” Taggart explained. “I wasn’t a part of this, but I knew the two men who handled Kayla. I was recruited into the CIA by a man named Ten Smith, but for the majority of my time there both Ten and I worked under John Bishop. Bishop decided to use Kayla to bring Kun in. It was a good plan because Jiang Kun was one of China’s best agents and she had the highest security clearance. She was a gold mine of information and all she wanted was what her sister had—freedom. We got the clearance to bring her in, but we had to do it all quietly. Naturally everything went sideways and Kun was killed. Bishop had a choice. He could lose it all or he could plant his own spy.”

  “Kayla.” One minute she’d been ready to meet her sister and the next, she’d been her sister, taking over her life as a spy for the enemy. What kind of courage had that required?

  “She went from crying over the body of the sister she barely knew to walking into the mouth of the beast. And she was magnificent. I owe her my life more than once. So understand when I tell you a woman like that doesn’t fuck up for any reason other than the one none of us can avoid. She’s in love with you. You can take that love or you can leave it, but at least acknowledge the fact that she was attempting to do a service for her country, that she never meant to hurt you, that in the face of losing the only thing she really knows now, she chose you.”

  “You’re wrong. Don’t romanticize this. She chose the mission,” he argued. “Like I said, she’s a good operative.”

  But what had Taggart ragged her about? Protocol? The op’s parameters had changed after his talk with Tyler and she was supposed to have called back to her boss and figured out another plan. Instead, she’d panicked and blown the whole thing wide open.

  Why? Because she was desperate to save that operative who was likely already dead? Or because she didn’t want her lover walking into something he couldn’t understand?

  Taggart sat back. “Well, I can’t fix stupid. All right, then. That’s all. Don’t get my agent killed by doing something dumb. You know your role. Escort her in. Let her do her job. Escort her back out. And then what happens is up to you. We’ll send a plane for her. You’re dismissed.”

  Like he was a soldier. “I’m not your employee.”

  Taggart was on his phone, texting someone. He didn’t bother to look up. “No, you are not. I wouldn’t hire you.”

  “And this is not your club.” Being dismissed rankled.

  Arctic blue eyes came up. “I heard it wasn’t yours either. Aren’t you quitting?”

  Someone had been talking, but then he couldn’t simply blame Kayla for this one. He’d talked about it with Declan as they’d traded punches. Shane had heard him, too. He’d gone over everything Kay had cost him. God, even thinking about the things he’d called her made him wince. And why? He had every right to call her all the nasty names he wanted to. She’d done this to him, not the other way around. Everyone kept forgetting that he was the victim here. “Yeah, I’m going to leave the club. I can’t stay here. From what I understand you have your own club, so you should understand. These people depend on everyone here to keep things private, and I’ve proven I can’t do that.”

  “What’s gotten out? Did Riley finally give up the game and sell photos to the tabloids? I thought I saw him eyeing a pair of sneakers he can’t afford the other day. I always suspected that was why he took the job,” Taggart said with a sad shake of his head. “Fucker.”

  Some woman somewhere put up with this guy’s shit? “No, obviously, but it could have happened. That’s the point. I’m not staying around and waiting until something bad happens because I made a poor judgment call.”

  “And no one in this club ever brought in someone who could have done something bad? Dear god, Jared Johns is a member of this club. He brought a serial killer in and no one kicked him out. Did you have a trial and put him on suspension or something? Make him work his way back in, because I think serial killer trumps bringing in bodyguards who behaved poorly.”

  Wow. He hadn’t thought of it that way. No one had been pissed at Jared. There certainly hadn’t been a meeting where they discussed getting rid of him. He was one of them. The club had closed ranks around him and supported him. “This is different.”

  “Yes, because it’s about you and you’re very hard on yourself, aren’t you, Joshua? You know my wife tells me holding myself to a far higher standard than anyone else is a sign of egomania. I think I’m just better than everyone else, right?”

  “No. I don’t fucking think that, asshole.”

  “Yet, you don’t deserve a do-over, huh?” Taggart shook his head ruefully. “Dude, sorry. It’s none of my business if you want to leave a place where you could relax. Hell, you probably have a million of them. You probably belong to a bunch of clubs.”

  “No, I don’t. I had two places in the whole world where I felt safe enough to relax and I have to give them both up now. They’re both tainted because I was too stupid to protect them. I have to give up my house because I’ll never be able to trust it again.” He would always be able to see her in that house. Years of memories and peace wiped out because anytime he opened the door, he looked for her now. His eyes would immediately go to the balcony to see if she was standing there, or to the kitchen where she often made snacks for the guys and he would say no and then sneak one anyway.

  “What did the house do to you? Is it haunted?”

  Why was he even talking to this asshole? And yes, it was haunted. She would be the ghost he could never get rid of, but he wasn’t about to admit that to Taggart. “It’s bugged. It was invaded by a bunch of people I don’t know. I was safe there and now I’m not.”

  “Yeah, you know we can get rid of the bugs after the Agency is gone,” Taggart said as though he was talking to a four-year-old. “Easy peasy. We can even teach you how to check for bugs so you can chill on the paranoia. And in case you weren’t aware, other places can get bugged, too. When you think about it you’re not safe anywhere.”

  H
e was preaching to the choir. Josh was getting antsy, ready for another fight. Or another session with the woman he shouldn’t ever touch again. “Yeah, I fucking get that. Believe me I know that nowhere is safe.”

  “Then you should know that none of what went down in the last couple of days was your fault, man, and go easier on yourself.” Taggart stood up and stuffed his phone in the laptop bag he’d brought with him. “And it’s cool that you can’t forgive Kayla. I get that now. It’s hard to forgive anyone when you can’t ever forgive yourself.”

  “Myself? What the fuck do I have to forgive myself for?”

  Taggart nodded as he started for the door. “That’s a damn good question, kid. Answer that one and maybe the rest of your life can fall in line.” He paused at the door. “She won’t stop after the op. She’ll keep going until you’re safe. She’ll handle all of it so you’ll be safer here than you were in the first place. I think some lucky blackmailer is going to be getting a visit from our Kayla soon. I hope she videotapes that. Fun times. Good to meet you.”

  She was going to what? He found himself staring at the spot where Taggart had sat. It was obvious the man lived to fuck with people. Kayla wouldn’t go after his blackmailer alone. That would be ridiculous. She’d said that in order to get closer to him, but after the op was over, she would be done with him. He’d made himself plain.

  Only a woman who really loved a man would still want to put herself at risk.

  He didn’t understand her, didn’t understand any of this.

  He sat and thought about everything they’d said, but that guy was wrong about him. He didn’t have anything to forgive.

  And he would never forget.

  Still, when the time came to leave, he kept the letter he’d written to the club members in his pocket along with his keys. Maybe he should think about that.

  Maybe.

  * * * *

  Kayla looked up as Big Tag walked out. She’d tried going back in to protect Josh from him, but Adam and Alex had blatantly waylaid her with a bunch of bullshit questions about the op.

  “What did you do to him?” With Big Tag it could be anything from a simple but obnoxious talking to right up to brutal murder she would likely be left to clean up after.

  Taggart gave her a smooth smile that was probably meant to put her at ease, but the man always reminded her of a satisfied predator when his lips curved up like that. Like he’d eaten someone he shouldn’t and his belly was happily full. “Not a thing. Just wanted to make sure we were all on the same page. We are. So I can get back to my regularly scheduled programming of riding around in a billionaire’s jet, drinking his Scotch, and changing all his playlists to classic rock. Can you believe Drew Lawless has a playlist titled Team TayTay for Taylor Swift’s greatest hits? I’m taking his man card and ripping it up right in front of his wife’s face. Hair metal. It’s the only manly thing to listen to.”

  Somehow she doubted that was really Lawless’s playlist. She looked up at the man who’d hired her when she’d needed a job. He could joke all he liked, but she was the reason his whole week had been upended. He’d been far closer and that was why he’d come out to California in Damon’s stead. She was the reason he’d had to hustle to ensure his business didn’t get ripped apart by lawsuits and potential criminal inquiries. “I’m sorry, Ian.”

  He frowned and shoved sunglasses over his eyes. “Come on. We should talk before I go. Adam, Alex seems to have fallen asleep on that spanking bench over there. You know what to do.”

  Adam grinned and held up his phone. “I’m documenting this for humanity and so I can photoshop in some crazy shit later. I’m going to miss this when I’m the boss.”

  Big Tag walked to the outer portion of the club. Sun streamed in from the overhead skylight but they were still out of the way of prying eyes. Riley had gone to pull the car around and they would be behind tinted windows in seconds, their identities protected from reporters and the Agency alike. “The idea of Adam being in charge scares me. He’ll spend all his profits on fancy shoes. At least he’s got a good team around him. Too bad it’s my damn team. I hate hiring people. You know, your boy is a hardass.”

  “He’s been hurt. A lot.” She couldn’t even imagine what Josh had gone through.

  “That kind of hurt doesn’t go away on its own. Oh, you can try to self-medicate with Scotch and good music, but in the end you have to reopen that wound and let the toxins out or they’ll kill you.”

  “I think I’m the first person he’s ever told his story to.” And then she’d betrayed him. She was starting to understand that he couldn’t come back from that. She’d slipped into something that for most people would be the exact thing couples’ therapy was made for, but in Josh’s case it was quicksand, and the more she struggled to make him understand, the deeper she went with him. He wasn’t going to up and get it. He wasn’t going to forgive her. Ever.

  When the op was over, he would shut the door on their relationship and move on. If there was one thing she’d learned about him, he was good at compartmentalizing. He would put their relationship in a room in his brain and lock the door and never think about her again.

  And it didn’t matter. She still loved him. She would still do what she needed to do. It was so odd to finally fall truly, deeply in love only to understand how painful it could be and that it was also the thing that could make her stronger than she’d ever been.

  Loving Josh made her happy. The fact that he couldn’t love her back might end up being the tragedy of her life, but at least she’d known what it meant to love.

  “Well, you shouldn’t be the last one. That kid needs some therapy. He’s obviously got the weight of the world on his shoulders. The good news is I don’t think he’s going to sue us,” Tag said. “There’s bad news, of course.”

  Yep. This was the part where she got fired. “I’ll resign.”

  Taggart’s brows came together. “That’s between you and Damon. I’m not going to mess with his personnel policies. He runs the London office and it’s up to him whether or not you remain employed. I’m talking about the fact that this op of yours has a million moving pieces and I’m worried that Levi Green and Ezra are about to have a knock-down, drag-out, and only one of them will come out of this with his job. I think Green is making a play to get rid of Fain and I don’t know why. I’m trying to figure it out. Normally I would get Chelsea on it, but she’s buried under the startup. Given that I recommended the startup to my investor group, I’m caught between curiosity and making money. Charlie wants another kid and they eat cash, so I’m stuck with Hutch. I love that idiot, but he hasn’t got Chelsea’s ability to put a puzzle together. He can hack into anything, but I need someone who can see shit coming from a mile away. I would get Li working on it, but he’s on freaking paternity leave. Charlie did this to me. She’s got weird ideas on how to run a business.”

  Avery had recently had a baby girl. Daisy O’Donnell. She’d seen the baby over Facetime when Liam had called into the London office to let them know mother and daughter were doing fine.

  God, she would miss them all. Miss all the babies and the way they were a family. She probably wouldn’t get that at her next job.

  “Ezra said he was called back to Langley,” she told him, trying to stay professional. “I thought that was odd. Why have two handlers and then ditch one?”

  “I don’t know about that either, but I would have been more comfortable with Fain taking the lead. Which could be the point.” Tag paced, his long legs eating up the space before turning and striding again, a lion in a cage. “If they thought you were the only operative who could do this op, they would need to make me and Damon comfortable, and having Fain in the mix would do the trick. I don’t think I’d let you do this if Green had come to me himself. Now we’re down to the nitty gritty and they dump Fain.”

  “They might have dumped him, but he claims he’s not going anywhere.”

  Tag nodded. “Yeah, we’ve talked. Hutch is going to cover for him. He�
�s got everything set up so it looks like he’s being a good boy, but that plane we’re on is going to pick him up and quietly take him down to Mexico City. It’s the only reason I haven’t pulled you off this op.”

  “I would go anyway.” She couldn’t leave Josh on his own.

  He stopped, his lips curling up faintly. “Yeah, I suspect you would. Josh Hunt, huh? Don’t tell him, but he’s pretty badass in those car movies. That’s what the world needs more of. Fast cars and very little plot line. I can follow that shit even though I fall asleep two or three times per film. I like to call them dad movies.”

  “I won’t tell him that at all.” But she smiled at the thought. Not that he would care what she said. “Is this ache going to be with me forever?”

  He was quiet for a moment and she’d forgotten that men didn’t like to talk about the relationship stuff.

  “If it’s real love, yeah,” Tag said quietly. “If it’s real then there will be this hollow place inside you that won’t go away. The good news? I have never met anyone with as much love to give as you, Kayla. If he won’t accept it, move on. It’ll take you a little time, but you’ll be able to try this again eventually. Hey, I got a son who’ll be ready for you in about twenty years if you like ’em young.”

  It was about the biggest compliment he could give her, and it took everything she had not to cry.

  “Would it help if I told you I think he’ll come around?” Tag asked.

  She took a deep breath, banishing the tears. “I don’t see how.”

  “I’ve done this a time or two and he’s already questioning himself. Push him over the next couple of days. Not to forgive you. Just remind him how nice it is to have you around. I think it’ll work. And if it doesn’t, well, I’ve got a couple of projects we need to work on.”

  “If Damon doesn’t accept my resignation,” she replied grimly. “I blew up an entire operation because I fell in love with a guy.”