Because of Francie

by Karen Rose Smith

  Francie emerged from the small room off the back porch dressed in a pink sweatshirt and slacks. She looked more than good enough to eat, her hair fluffy from pulling the sweatshirt over her head, her cheeks flushed from hurrying.

  She brushed by him, the flowery shampoo she used wafting around him. "My sneakers are in the living room. If you want to start the car--"

  "Francie? Is Gina home?" her mother called down the stairs.

  Francie looked at Noah. "You're sure she's all right?"

  "She sounded upset but in one piece. She said she was fine, just stranded."

  Francie went to the foot of the stairs. "Mama, Noah is going to go with me to pick up Gina. Her boyfriend had a flat tire. Go back to bed."

  "Tell Noah thank you. And come in and tap me on the shoulder when you get home."

  "All right."

  Noah's gaze held Francie's as he remembered how angry she'd been when they'd returned from New York and she'd found out he hadn't told her about the developers interested in buying the rink. "It seems as if you protect people you care about, too."

  Francie plucked her jacket from the closet. "If there's a reason for Mama and Pop to worry, I'll call them."

  Francie was familiar with the twenty-four-hour diner that Gina had described. The silence between her and Noah in the car was broken only by her terse directions. Noah held a heavy foot to the accelerator and they arrived at the diner in twenty minutes. Gina stood inside the door.

  When Noah opened it, her voice was filled with dismay. "I asked you to come alone."

  Francie took her sister's arm and propelled her toward a table. "Well, he didn't. I covered for you with Mama, but I want the whole story. And don't you dare leave anything out."

  Gina sat and put her hands to her face. "They know I'm still out? What am I going to tell them?"

  Francie sat across from her. "You can start by telling me the truth."

  Gina pulled her hands away from her face and looked at Francie belligerently. "And what if I won't?"

  CHAPTER TEN

  Noah could see Francie didn't know how to respond to Gina's hostility. He put a hand on Francie's shoulder. "Do you want me to go take a walk?"

  She accepted his support. After what had happened tonight, he thought she might brush it away. "That's up to Gina."

  Gina shrugged her shoulders. "You can stay. I don't have anything to say."

  The waitress came over and asked if they wanted to order. "Two hot chocolates," Francie directed, looking at Gina hunched up in her jacket as if she was cold.

  "Coffee. Regular," Noah said, wondering how Francie would handle Gina's obvious anger.

  He didn't have long to wonder. When the waitress left, Gina exploded. "That's what you do all the time! How do you know I wanted hot chocolate?" Her lower lip trembled.

  Francie gestured with her hand. "You like hot chocolate. You drink it every night--"

  "That's not the point. You just take over. That's what you've done since you've been home."

  "I'm hardly ever there!"

  Noah felt uncomfortable. He'd never been involved in a family conflict like this. But he was curious, too. What happened after the fight? All he remembered from his childhood were raised voices between his mother and men, a door slamming, the men not coming around again.

  "You're there even when you aren't there," Gina mumbled.

  Francie cast Noah a perplexed look.

  He shifted in his chair, moving closer to her without touching her, though touching her was exactly what he wanted to do. "Why are you angry with Francie?"

  Gina moved the fork in front of her to the side. "I'm not angry. I'm...tired of her being the center of attention. The whole time I was growing up, Mama was off to competitions with Francie or visiting her in Boston. Everything revolved around her and her schedule. All I ever heard about were her classes, her accomplishments, her talent." Gina's glare was accusatory but filled with hurt, too. "All anyone cared about was you and your skating."

  Francie's face reflected astonishment, as if she couldn't believe Gina had kept her feelings under wraps for so long. "Why didn't you talk to me before this, Gina? Have you ever told Mama how you feel?"

  "Of course not! She'd just pat my knee and tell me not to be jealous. I'm not jealous. Not exactly. I just want..."

  "Attention?" Francie filled in.

  "Don't make me sound like a child," Gina responded.

  "Everyone needs attention," Noah suggested softly. "When they don't get it from people they care about, they look for it in other places." Thank God he hadn't run with the wrong crowds. He'd channeled his energy into sports to earn scholarships, into work so he could earn extra money.

  Gina seemed to absorb Noah's words, the fact that he understood. "That's the reason I got all A's in school, that's the reason I'm in school activities. It's something I can do that Francie can't."

  "And I've always envied that," Francie answered.

  Gina's gaze snapped to hers. "You have?"

  "Learning comes so easily to you. You read a page and remember everything on it. I could sit there all evening and still not remember everything I need to know."

  "But you remember complicated choreography," Gina pointed out.

  Francie shrugged. "That's different. Maybe I was always just too tired to study. I don't know. But I do know I wish I'd had the time with the family you take for granted. I only saw Vince and Frank when they drove me to practices or classes. And Pop. If I was lucky, I'd have a few minutes to talk with him before I went to bed. Summers, I was gone all day for training and I'd have evening dance classes. And then when I was thirteen, I went to Boston. You were at the center of the family then. You had all those years with them while I was away."

  Gina's voice grew husky. "But the attention still always revolved around you. What you were doing. How well you were doing. Later how great Brent was. And then with the Olympics..." Gina shook her head. "They didn't care what I did at all."

  Francie covered Gina's hand with hers. Her sister didn't pull away. "You've got to know that's not true. Every time I called home, every time Mama e-mailed me, she'd tell me how well you were doing, how proud they were of you. I often wished I was you instead of me. I hated being away from home."

  "And I wished I was you. I want to travel and see places other than Gettysburg."

  "You will," Francie reassured her. "But enjoy what you have while you have it. Believe me, once you're away, you'll miss the family."

  Gina hesitated, then said, "I did miss you when you were gone."

  Francie's eyes misted and Noah wanted to put his arms around her. "I missed you too. You're my little sister. I used to braid your hair. How could I not miss you?"

  Noah could almost see Francie and Gina drawing closer, could see the barriers coming down in the face of their honesty. He leaned back as the waitress set his coffee in front of him. After she'd served the hot chocolates, he asked Gina, "Did you date Jake to get attention?"

  Gina watched the foaming marshmallow in her cup. "I suppose. He was different and I guess I figured no one would approve."

  "What happened tonight?" Noah asked gently.

  Gina cautiously looked at Francie and Noah, then plunged in. "We met some of his friends here. Then we went down the road to a picnic area, and they all started drinking. Jake and a couple of the guys were bragging about racing their cars. I got scared. He never drank when I was with him before. He never raced, either. I sure didn't want to drive with him, so I made him drop me off here."

  "He did that without an argument?" Noah probed, doubting it.

  "He got pretty loud and swore. But I told him if he didn't let me out here, I'd jump out as soon as I could and walk home."

  Francie cringed and Noah bet she was imagining what could have happened.

  "What are you going to tell Mama and Pop?" Gina asked tentatively.

  Francie didn't let go of Gina's hand. "I think you should tell them the truth."

  "But they'll ground me."
>
  "Maybe. But I think we should also tell them what was going on between us."

  Gina ducked her head. "It was hard enough telling you."

  "But I think they'll understand then why you've been seeing Jake. And I'll be right beside you."

  Gina raised her head. "You mean that?"

  Francie nodded and the look that passed between the two sisters was one of understanding.

  Noah remembered the day he'd taken a good look at Craig and confronted him about the discrepancy in their books. There'd been angry words. Then Craig had broken down and admitted his problems. He and Craig had worked together to find a solution. Was that any different than what had just happened between Francie and Gina? Is this how families handled problems together? Noah thought about that as he drove Francie and Gina home.

  Everyone in the house seemed sound asleep as they went in the front door.

  "Francie?" Angela called.

  "Yes, Mama. It's me and Gina."

  "Is everything all right?"

  Francie looked at Gina. "It's fine."

  "You two get to bed. We'll talk in the morning."

  Gina looked woebegone and whispered, "She knows something happened."

  Francie couldn't suppress a smile. "Did you have any doubts?"

  Gina smiled back. "I guess not. She's pretty sharp." She laid her coat over the banister. "And you'll be here when I talk to them?"

  "I'll be here." Francie opened her arms for a hug and waited.

  Gina went to her and squeezed her tightly, then looked at Noah. "Thanks."

  He nodded. After Gina had climbed the stairs, the quiet house enveloped him and Francie. They stood perfectly still, aware of each other's breathing, each other's desire, each other's awkwardness. Noah broke the stalemate. "I'd better be going." But he didn't move.

  "I appreciate what you did for Gina. Coming to get me. Trying to understand. You're a fine man, Noah Gordon."

  He hooked his finger under Francie's hair and brushed it away from her cheek. It swung back with a mind of its own. Just like Francie. "My thoughts aren't so 'fine' right now."

  "What are they?" Her voice was husky.

  "You and me. Naked. Finishing what we started."

  "Noah..."

  He stroked her cheek. "But I can't do that to you, Francie. Nothing's changed."

  "How can you say that? You've just proved how caring you are, how dependable."

  "There's a long way from caring to going the distance in a relationship. You know that as well as I do. And you want the distance, Francie. You're that kind of woman."

  "And you won't even try."

  The sadness in her eyes, coupled with the same longing as he knew, made him feel like a first-class heel. But he knew his history. He knew his limits. "It's not a matter of trying. It's a matter of not even knowing where to begin."

  "With honesty."

  He sighed, wanting nothing more than to pull Francie into his arms. But hugs led to kisses. Kisses led to more intimate kisses. And he knew exactly where those intimate kisses would lead.

  Not kissing her, but needing to touch her again, he lifted her chin with his knuckle and ran his thumb along its side. "I'll see you in the morning."

  She sighed and nodded.

  Still reluctant to leave, he asked, "Are you going to tell me what you're planning for Valentine's Day?"

  She attempted a smile. "I'd rather keep it a surprise."

  He pulled back his hand, stepping away from temptation. "I don't generally like surprises, but if you're planning it, it should be good."

  She looked so vulnerable, so innocent, so natural, he leaned forward and kissed her cheek. Then he left, because that brush of his lips on her skin wasn't nearly enough.

  ****

  Sunday afternoon, a whimsical layer of on-again, off-again snow dusted the parking lot of Hershey Arena. Noah took Francie's elbow as they walked across the fresh white powder. She looked up at him inquiringly.

  "I wouldn't want you to fall. Paul would have my head."

  Noah couldn't keep his smile from his voice, though there wasn't much to smile about. He'd accepted Angela's invitation to Sunday dinner. She'd made it clear the invitation was a thank-you for helping Gina. For some reason she hadn't been as friendly as usual.

  During dinner Paul had promoted the idea of Noah driving Francie to Hershey Arena in case the roads became nasty. Noah was tormenting himself by being with Francie, but it was better than the thought of his being at the rink and her driving alone in the snow. In this twenty-degree weather, anything could happen. He didn't want her stranded somewhere. When he'd agreed to be chauffeur, Angela had given both him and her husband a probing look but hadn't shown disapproval or approval.

  And Francie? During the drive she'd kept her distance physically and emotionally, the car's armrest a tangible barrier between them.

  Francie's tone now was annoyed. "Pop's not-so-subtle maneuvering at dinner was embarrassing. I'm quite capable of handling myself in snow or rain or sunshine."

  "He worries about you. I can't blame him."

  Francie waved her arms at the sky, catching a few snowflakes in her upturned palms. "It's hardly snowing."

  "But in three hours we don't know what will happen. You said that's about how long the competition takes."

  Turning her face up to the sky, she caught a slow-falling snowflake on her tongue. "About."

  Noah's gut tightened, watching Francie's sensual appreciation of the weather. He was fascinated by the way the snowflakes caught in her black hair. "I'm surprised the club didn't cancel the competition."

  "It's too difficult to reschedule because of the hockey team. Besides, this snowfall isn't supposed to amount to anything."

  The inside of the arena looked deserted with its rows and rows of vacant seats, waiting for the next hockey game or ice show. Noah could imagine Francie on the ice. She could be performing here someday as a professional during a yearly road trip. What life path would she choose? Would today help her decide as she watched other skaters on the ice? She seemed to be waiting for something. What?

  They found a smattering of a crowd, about thirty, gathered near the judges' box. Francie laid her hand casually on Noah's arm, and his increased pulse rate proved no gesture was casual between them.

  "I want to go downstairs for a few minutes to talk to the skaters. Do you want to come along?"

  "I've always wondered what goes on behind the scenes."

  She grinned. "Bedlam."

  Noah got the idea as skaters pushed by him on their way to the dressing area or the ice. Excitement and anticipation hummed in the air. A young woman recognized Francie and hugged her in the middle of the hallway. "You made it. I'm so glad. Chuck and I are so nervous. It never changes, does it? Look, everybody, look who's here! Francie."

  Noah stood to the side as one skater after another came up to Francie. She seemed genuinely pleased to see everyone, and he realized that's why she'd come. Because of friendship. She sloughed off the attention and the praise, considering these people as she did everyone else, as equals. He wondered if that's why she wasn't judging the amateur competition, if she didn't want to put herself above them.

  Every few minutes, Francie would turn to Noah and introduce him to someone else. He almost felt like part of her circle. Almost.

  When the speaker system blared, Francie wished everyone luck. Someone thrust cups of hot chocolate into Noah's and Francie's hands and they carried them into the stands. After they settled in, Francie warmed her nose in the cup before she took a sip.

  Noah chuckled. "Do you ever get used to the constant cold?"

  Francie licked her upper lip, enticing him to bend his head and kiss her. "I don't notice it." She smiled. "Permanent cold feet are a hazard of the profession."

  He remembered her foot on his calf. Francie was warmth and heat and light; she had no coldness in her. The remembering was a bad idea. When her eyes switched from the ice to him, he knew she was remembering too. Their gazes lingered,
she not wanting to break away, he not able to.

  She asked in almost a whisper, "Why did you come along today? Because Pop suggested it?"

  Noah's reasons for accepting Angela's invitation as well as responding to Paul's suggestion were the same, and he couldn't be anything but honest with Francie. "Because I wanted to be with you."

  Francie dropped her gaze to her lap. "You're a difficult man to understand, Noah."

  He didn't understand himself these days. Being around Francie changed him, confused him, unnerved him. But there was no one else he'd rather be around. The problem was handling her company tactfully, safely, and with as much restraint as he could muster. He turned his attention to the skaters warming up on the ice.

  Francie had explained this was a dance competition, not single or pairs skating. She explained each dance and what the judges looked for, and she applauded heartily after each couple performed.

  When he quirked a brow, she replied, "No one realizes how difficult it is to get out there in front of people and put your talent on the line. Once I'm focused, I forget about the audience. But it's never easy."

  Francie leaned forward as the next couple skated, her gaze never leaving the woman.

  "Special friend?"

  Francie leaned back. "Jennifer and I took lessons together when we were kids. But when we were fourteen, she quit. She wanted time to date, go to movies, be a teenager. And now she competes as a hobby because she enjoys skating."

  It sounded as if Francie envied her friend. Noah could see Francie loved skating. But as an art form, exercise, sheer exhilaration? Not as a profession? What if she did give up thoughts of figure skating? What if she stayed in Gettysburg and he didn't sell the rink? He could see her whenever he came to town. Was that enough? And what if he did sell the rink? What if he left after Valentine's Day and never saw her again?

  Noah searched her face during the competition, saw her eyes light up, her smile when a couple performed well, her frown when she noticed mistakes. And sitting next to her was enough. So he told himself.

  After the winners were announced, Francie went to the dressing area to congratulate them. Noah felt himself tense when the men hugged and kissed her. She responded so freely. The same way she responded to him?