Heart of Ashes (Hearts of the Highlands Book 1)

by Paula Quinn

  “I havena come along, Aleysia,” he told her, sounding mildly annoyed. “I’m here to lead this wee adventure of yers. What that means fer ye is that ye will do what I tell ye.”

  She laughed softly, refusing to let him goad her. “Now, Commander, you know that I will not be ordered about, but I will consider any request you put to me. So, are you going to tell me what made you change your mind about coming?”

  He looked as if he might be considering turning back. She held her ground, waiting. She didn’t think he would let her go to Newton on the Moor alone, now that he was here. She hoped she was correct. It was dangerous beyond the castle walls, especially for a woman traveling alone.

  “I was worried fer the nuns,” he drawled. “And if ye met any English soldiers along the way, I wanted to be here to kill them.”

  “Can you not control your lust for English blood? We are going to a holy place, Cainnech.”

  He set his bloodshot blue eyes on hers. “Ye sound like the priest.”

  “Good! At least one of you has sense in his head.”

  She thought she caught sight of his elusive smile as he flicked his reins and led his horse away at a steady trot.

  She watched him go. What kind of brute was he to always think about killing? One raised on the battlefield, surrounded by death, she reminded herself. One who had forgotten the faces of anyone he ever loved.

  She thought about riding to him but stopped herself. No more. She’d promised herself. She wouldn’t go back on it. She waited instead until William and Rauf caught up to her and rode with them the rest of the way.

  “Is he always so distant?” she asked them when they stopped just outside of Newton on the Moor for some bread and honey, and water for their horses from a nearby stream. The commander had claimed he wasn’t hungry and went to have a look around on foot.

  “Aye, fer as long as I have known him,” Rauf told her.

  “How long has that been?” she asked, taking a bite of her bread.

  “Four years. Most of us know little aboot him, fer he prefers to be alone when we are not fightin’.”

  Aleysia wanted to know what they knew about him, even if it wasn’t much. She hadn’t asked them before because Richard was always around. She hadn’t wanted him to know she was curious about what kind of man the commander was…when he wasn’t fighting.

  “Everyone seems to fear him. Has he given you a reason?”

  “We dinna fear him,” Rauf answered. “We respect him. He has brought us oot of battle safely more times than any of us can count.”

  “No one wants to fight with him on the practice field when he’s angry though,” William told her.

  “Or when he is not,” Rauf laughed. “We all know the tales though,” he said a moment later, sobering.

  “What tales?” Aleysia asked.

  “The tales of how when the commander was just a lad ten and five he massacred an entire squad of men.”

  “’Twas half that,” William corrected. He didn’t lower his gaze when they turned to stare at him, but continued. “I asked him and he said ’twas half the squad.”

  “Still,” Aleysia said in a quiet voice, “that is a lot of men to—”

  “They were the ones who killed his kin and held him captive,” William was quick to defend him. He knew Aleysia was aware of the commander’s past. They’d spoken of it briefly during Cainnech’s four-day disappearance. “They deserved what he did to them.”

  Aye, Aleysia thought, perhaps they did. But it hadn’t changed anything for him, had it? He still hated the English. He could never have his parents back, and his brothers were likely dead.

  He would always see her as his enemy.

  “He seems to like you though.”

  She turned to William sitting closest to her in the grass. “Why do you say that?”

  Her handsome young friend looked at her with his penetrating silvery eyes and gave her a skeptical look as if she shouldn’t need him to tell her.

  “He smiles when he’s with you. He does not smile often.”

  “I have seen him laugh a time or two when he was with ye,” Rauf agreed with a sly wink cast at her.

  She blushed and was about to rise to her feet, when the commander returned and gave them a disgusted look.

  “Would we like to reach Newton on the Moor today?” he asked in a wry tone.

  The men tossed away their bread and leaped to attention. Aleysia decided to move a little slower.

  “I would like to get there today,” she answered pleasantly and tossed him a playful smile. It was difficult to remain angry with him when, according to his men, she made him smile.

  He looked as if he were fighting one from forming right now. “Then mayhap,” he said, trying to sound angry, and failing, “ye can all quit flappin’ yer tongues aboot—”

  He ducked, but her honey-soaked hunk of bread hit him in the shoulder.

  She wasn’t sure what made her laugh harder, the bread sliding down his arm, leaving a sticky, glistening streak behind, or Rauf and William’s exclamations of disbelief.

  When a moment passed and Cainnech didn’t demand that they all pick up their bags and head back to Lismoor, her friends exchanged knowing smiles.

  “Are ye done then, lady?”

  Oh, he was angry, calling her lady instead of the more tender lass. She really should stop laughing but it felt too good. She hadn’t laughed so hard in a long time.

  Finally, he gave in and crooked a corner of his mouth up at her. His smile, subtle though it was, sobered her faster than his anger. He made her laugh and even though it was at his expense, he didn’t grow angry. He smiled.

  They stared at each other across the small clearing, their eyes saying what their mouths would not.

  He lifted his hand and swatted something away. When he waved his other hand in front of his face, Aleysia gasped and then covered her mouth. Bees! He took a moment from fighting them off to glare at her, and then unclasped his cloak and pulled off his léine.

  He wore nothing underneath but skin, muscle, and scars. Aleysia watched, captivated, as his dark hair fell over the broad flare of his shoulders. The filtered sunlight caressed his long, lean waist and fell across his washboard belly.

  She stopped paying attention to the others and remembered what it felt like to be pressed so snugly to him, to be caught up in his strength and the passion of his kiss.

  She fought the urge to take a step forward when he strode to the stream and bent to it. He dipped his léine into the water and looked over his shoulder at her, as if he simply couldn’t believe she’d thrown her bread at him.

  She adjusted her bodice—not realizing what she’d done until his gaze dipped to it—and then marched over to him. “You are fortunate ’twasn’t a dagger.”

  He slanted his mouth and turned back to his léine. “Not as fortunate as ye that I dinna toss ye into the hive.”

  She tried to think of something to say but her gaze was fastened on the play of muscles in his shoulders and arms as he scrubbed. She tore her eyes away and looked around the clearing. She found Will and Rauf standing by the horses. They still appeared stunned by her boldness and looked away quickly rather than meet her gaze.

  She glanced down at the commander again and then sat on her weak knees beside him. She wouldn’t let him frighten her off. “Your men are afraid of me.”

  He angled his head and gave her a pointed look. “They should be. And ye dinna have to sound so pleased aboot it.”

  She couldn’t help but smile. She knew the men weren’t afraid of her, but she couldn’t tell him what they truly thought. “I should help,” she said softly instead, and reached for the wet bundle in his hands.

  He covered her hands with his and when he looked at her, his gaze went altogether soft. “Ye are not a fool, lass.”

  She could have stared into his eyes until her last breath if he would always look at her the way he was looking at her now, as if he knew her and liked who she was and wanted to know more ab
out her.

  He found her beautiful, more beautiful than the glade. He’d said so himself.

  He wrung out his léine and rose up above her. “But there can be no…” he continued, and then paused as if the words tasted foul coming from his mouth. “I must keep my head clear to my duty.”

  Her heart sank as she straightened. “And what is your duty, Cainnech?”

  He stared into her eyes and clenched his jaw, as if he were trying to keep whatever he wanted to say inside.

  After a moment, he blinked away and glared at the men. “Time to go!”

  He was running again. Father Timothy had told her that the commander was fond of her. His men believed it, too. She thought of being with him at the glade and how serene he had been, how his mouth had worked slowly over her flesh, her lips, awakening parts of her she didn’t know existed. She hadn’t wanted to leave the glade—to return to who they were and what they were supposed to feel.

  She wanted to be angry with him for always running, always pulling away, and keeping a “clear head”, but she couldn’t. She was quite suddenly sad, in fact. He was so angry and filled with hatred for the English, and for those who swore fealty to King Edward, that he was blind to his own heart.

  What should she do about him? When he’d first come to Lismoor, she’d wanted him to leave. It was all she had wanted. Now, the thought of him going made her ill. What had changed? He’d kissed her and changed her dreams and desires.

  She watched him return to his horse and pull on his wet léine. It clung to him, outlining the muscles defining his chest. He shoved his cloak into his saddlebag and mounted in a single leap.

  She would have to think on it later. Elizabeth needed to come home.

  St. Peter’s Abbey was an old structure in the southwest end of the lovely village of Newton on the Moor. It wasn’t overly large, as far as abbeys went. Its high bell tower and two corner towers rose up over the quiet village.

  Aleysia recalled the last time she was here five years ago. Giles had been with her. They had come to take Elizabeth to Lismoor. The abbess had been angry and had argued with Giles. It seemed Elizabeth’s father had been paying handsomely to keep his daughter here while she was away from home and the abbess didn’t want to lose his donations. But Elizabeth had written to her betrothed telling him how much she hated being there, so they had come and brought her home. But it had been a harrowing visit.

  Aleysia stopped Cainnech and the others before they rode any closer. “We cannot simply knock on the abbey doors.”

  “Why not?” Cainnech growled, staring at her from his saddle. He brought his mount closer until his leg brushed against hers.

  Aleysia found it difficult to keep a clear head, staring straight at him, their legs touching. It made her want to curse him for being so untouchable. “The abbess does not care for me that is why not,” she replied tersely. “Now, are we going to discuss my plan to get to Elizabeth, or remain here all day and ask questions?”

  William and Rauf remained quiet.

  Cainnech’s expression darkened. “Why did ye not tell me this before?”

  “I am telling you now. Also, I have been thinking.”

  He actually sighed.

  Truly, sometimes she believed she could happily kill him.

  “Elizabeth does not know you and your men were not defeated at Lismoor. I fear she will not return if she discovers the truth.”

  He stared at her for a moment then blew out a short laugh. “So I am to let ye go inside alone? Is that what ye have been thinkin’?”

  The poor man still had no idea who he was talking to. She narrowed her eyes on him. “I do not belong to you, Commander. You do not let me do anything. You should feel privileged that I even let you in on what I’m thinking!”

  “Och, look at them apples!” Rauf said, pointing to a vendor when her pitch grew to a shout.

  Will smiled and looked away.

  “Fergive me,” the commander said, giving her his attention with a hint of warmth in his gaze to go with it. “I do feel privileged. Go on.”

  She stumbled around a few words until she found the right ones. She wasn’t expecting his reaction to her outburst. Apparently, neither did William or Rauf, for they gaped at him as if he had appeared before them from thin air. She wasn’t sure how to respond.

  “Thank you,” she said first. She kept her voice low so that only he could hear and let herself smile. “I forgive you.”

  She thought he didn’t hear her at first, for he leaned closer. His smile began in his eyes and it was as if the shutters blew off a hundred windows. Was that a glimpse of his heart she saw in the deep blue fathoms?

  “Lead the way, lass,” he said hoarsely, quietly. “Fer ’tis clear I will follow anywhere ye go.”

  Chapter Twenty-One

  “There is a graveyard behind the small church,” Aleysia told them while they secured their horses to the trees. “’Tis gated, but I know how to get in. Once inside, I can get to Elizabeth’s rooms. I will go get her while the three of you wait for us in the cemetery. If you see any of the nuns, do not speak to them, do you understand?”

  “Nae.” Cainnech said, looking uneasy. “Tell me again why we canna enter through the front gate. Why are we sneakin’ aboot? ’Tis an abbey. There are nuns inside. They willna stop us from—”

  “You do not know the abbess,” Aleysia insisted. “She is frightening.”

  He smiled indulgently. “Lass, I have faced mighty warriors in battle. An abbess doesna frighten me.”

  She closed her eyes and prayed for patience. “Still, why face her if we do not have to? Aye?”

  Without waiting for him to respond, she hurried past quacking ducks to a wall behind the second tower. There, she found a small door curtained by vines.

  It looked as if no one had used the door in years. The vines sprang free when she pulled it open. She smiled, looking over her shoulder at Cainnech, and led the way into the cemetery.

  She saw the narrow, stone stairway that led inside the abbey and turned to tell the men that she was heading inside when William stopped and went deathly still.

  Aleysia followed his gaze to a young woman standing alone at one of the gravestones. Who was she? Probably another poor girl orphaned or abandoned by her family.

  “Will,” Aleysia said gently to get him moving. They shouldn’t stop and speak to anyone.

  “’Tis her,” he managed, not taking his eyes off her. “’Tis Julianna.”

  The girl heard her name spoken and turned to see them. She stepped back and pressed her slender hands to her chest.

  “William?” she asked with a stunned, hesitant breath.

  She wore a full white kirtle and a yellow silk overgown with a fur-lined mantle and a golden coronet over her brow and long, red tresses.

  “Hell,” Aleysia heard Cainnech groan next.

  “What are you doing here?” Will rushed to her like a man just given back his life.

  Julianna backed away and cast a nervous look around him at the commander standing close by and Rauf moving about.

  “I was sent here after…Berwick.” Her large, dark eyes shimmered with tears and she dabbed them with her dangling sleeve. “It was terrible. Where were you?” Instead of waiting for an answer to her current question, she asked more. “Who are these people? Why have you come here?”

  “I…I am here for…”

  “We are looking for Elizabeth FitzSimmons.” Aleysia stepped forward and smiled, though wanting to stay and needing to go tore her heart in two. “I am Aleysia…d’Argentan.” She added her surname in a low voice.

  “Giles’ sister!” Julianna smiled and Aleysia was tempted to look over her shoulder at William or Rauf to see if they had heard.

  “Elizabeth has told me all about you and your brother. Did the Scots ever come for your castle? Did your traps kill them all?”

  Aleysia felt William go stiff beside her and step away. She wanted to turn her gaze to Cainnech. She needed his help. She also needed to
say something to Julianna to shut her up.

  Aleysia turned to William first. “Please forgive me. I will be killed if ’tis found out.”

  When he flicked his diamond-hard gaze over her shoulder, she turned to see Cainnech coming toward them. Rauf was keeping watch at the stairway and was thankfully out of earshot. For now.

  “If what is found out?” Julianna asked her, her wide eyes moving from her to Will. “Killed by who?”

  “Aleysia?”

  She turned to see Elizabeth step outside from the side entrance to the abbey.

  When Elizabeth took off running toward her, Aleysia met her in a long embrace.

  “What are you doing here?” Elizabeth finally pulled back and asked her. “Is it safe to return to Lismoor? Did you kill all the—”

  Her gaze skidded to a halt on the commander and the two men around him. “Who are these men?”

  “Elizabeth,” Aleysia said, trying to keep her voice light. This wasn’t how she wanted to tell her friend about the Scots. “We’ve come to bring you home. These…” She closed her eyes, knowing the moment Elizabeth found out who they were could likely be the end of their friendship. She’d sent delicate Elizabeth away into the woods and back to the abbess for nothing. Not only did she not keep her promise to kill them all, she was losing her heart to one and had brought him here. “These are my friends.”

  “Where did they come from?” Elizabeth asked, leaning in so the men wouldn’t hear. “I’ve never seen them at Lismoor.”

  “Dearest, come now.” Aleysia tried to usher her toward the hidden exit. “We will discuss everything on the way. The abbess will be angry if she finds me here unannounced.”

  “Aye,” Elizabeth finally smiled. “But I do not have my things.”

  “Everything you need is awaiting you at Lismoor, and we can send for the rest later.”

  She was almost sure she heard Cainnech expel a long sigh when they finally began moving. Still, Aleysia thought thankfully as she led her friend to the door, this was easier than they thought it would be.

  “Julianna.” Elizabeth suddenly remembered her and broke free of Aleysia’s arm. “You must come with us! You will love it at Lismoor.”