Brazen Ecstasy

by Janelle Taylor

  “We shall see,” she snapped, then left the two warriors standing there.

  “Will you stop her?” White Arrow asked. Gray Eagle nodded moodily.

  Chapter Sixteen

  As the uncommonly agitated warrior whirled to go after his wife, White Arrow forcefully seized his arm and prevented his hasty flight. “She must have time for her heart to overrule her pain, my brother. To speak now would only widen the break between you. She is hurt and will not hear your words. Only a denial of her charge could change matters, and you cannot give her such a denial. She must reason upon this deed and find forgiveness in her heart,” he sincerely counseled.

  “I must tell her the truth, White Arrow,” Gray Eagle exclaimed in astonishment.

  “What is the truth, my brother? If there is a child, can it truly be yours?” White Arrow asked solemnly, praying the warrior would deny any blame.

  “I do not know, White Arrow; only the Great Spirit knows,” he answered candidly. He went on to expound upon his dazed condition that fateful night and what he actually recalled of it. “Leah claims I thought she was Shalee and made love to her in the darkness of my tepee while my mind reeled with the peyote. My father says she was not pure when he took her. I only recall kissing her and touching her. When I knew she was not Shalee, I rejected her and sent her away. How could I join her and not remember it? But how can I swear I did not when my memory fails me? Why can Shalee not understand this matter? I did not take another woman to love. I did not betray her. If she loves me, can she not listen and forgive a weakness during my sufferings?”

  He was contrite and yet resentful. How could she throw away their love and happiness over a mistake he could not even recall making? She was his heart and life. How could she possibly feel threatened by a despicable woman like Leah? Perhaps her pride was greater than his! Perhaps she sought to punish him! Didn’t she realize the toll this action would take on their love and serene existence? Did she even care? He was not guilty! At least not intentionally! Didn’t that matter to her?

  “It is more the child than Leah, my brother. She could not bear to see another give you the son that she has not. How can she forget and forgive this vile deed when the child will always be there to refresh her memory? But how could she demand you sacrifice your own son? Making love is something very special to her, something you shared with another. You belonged to her, but you gave a vital part of yourself to another female: your seeds and your next son. Much has happened to her lately, and her mind swirls like the raging river. Give it time to calm. Pray there is no child, my brother. For if there is, you have lost her,” he stated somberly.

  “Does it not matter I am innocent? Leah tricked me and my father with her whorish skills! I was not myself when she came to me. Does a man pay for a wicked deed he did not commit?” he impatiently snarled, his lithe body shuddering with rising fury and irritation.

  “Long ago, you taught her others often pay for wicked deeds not their own. Did she not suffer at your own hands because she was white, for her people’s evil? If you cannot prove your innocence, the battle is lost.”

  “How can I, White Arrow?” he entreated in dismay.

  “Leah is more cunning and daring than we realized. I still say she lies.”

  “If she does not, how can I prove the child is not mine? Even a brother could reflect me like a son! How did Shalee learn of this matter?” he suddenly demanded, comprehending the short span of time.

  “She was at Running Wolf’s tepee when you and the white girl spoke; she heard all.”

  “She spied on me!” Gray Eagle stormed apprehensively, instantly flashing the scene before his mind’s eye for study.

  “When she heard your shouts in English, she came to investigate. She did not enter when she learned of your betrayal. When you could not deny Leah’s claims, she judged you guilty.”

  Why had he wavered? Why hadn’t he declared his innocence? When Leah accused him of such a deed, he should have slain her where she sat! Leah! “Leah was facing the entrance! She must have seen Shalee! I will strangle her! She led me into her trap and captured me, White Arrow. In my hesitation, I was thinking on her words, trying to recall that night. I cannot believe I touched her! She lies! I know she lies! How can I prove it?” he pleaded for White Arrow’s help.

  In self-recrimination and boundless wrath, Gray Eagle forcefully struck his chest with his fist. “Am I blind and mindless!” he exploded like dynamite.

  “Did you recall something?” his friend anxiously asked.

  “Yes!” he cheerfully declared, beginning to pace in rapid thought.

  “What?” the second warrior demanded in suspense and elation.

  “If a man enters a woman’s body in fiery passion, would there not be some trace of it later? I have made love countless times; why did I forget such a hint of her deception. Before I went to sleep, I touched my manhood to test my loss of control. I never entered her body!” he decided, vividly recalling the lack of moisture and stickiness before drifting off to sleep.

  “Why would she dare such a lie?” White Arrow pressed suspiciously.

  “Perhaps she does carry Running Wolf’s child. Perhaps she hoped I could not recall that night. She desires me and tries to pass the blame to me. Is it me she wants or revenge upon each of us?” he speculated aloud.

  “The darkness in her heart is great, my friend and brother. She battles viciously for what she cannot win. Her treachery cannot go unpunished. The child must not carry her evil blood and hatred.”

  “If there is a child,” Gray Eagle sneered skeptically. “I must go to Shalee and tell her these things. Surely she cannot doubt me now!”

  As he hurried away with pantherlike strides, White Arrow shook his head, fearing she was too hurt and humiliated to listen yet.

  Gray Eagle had gone to his tepee, picked up his wife, and taken her to the same place they had left earlier before this fiendish nightmare began. Shalee had fiercely resisted his gentle force and determination, to no avail. Cognizant of the effect of a fight before their son’s eyes, she was compelled to be swept off in his powerful arms. Without speaking along the way, he purposely stalked to the same spot before setting her feet upon the barren ground. He was forced to grip her forearms in a restraining and painless hold to prevent her from fleeing. His jaw twitched and set in vivid determination. His arresting stare exposed his naked obstinance and ire. He stood tall and erect, his body tense and his mind alert.

  She glared at him, half in anger and half in challenge. “Take your filthy hands off of me, you betrayer! We have nothing to say! I will be gone tomorrow!” she shrieked, her body trembling as she sought to govern her warring emotions. The man she loved had brutally trampled her heart and now he demanded to explain how this crime was committed! Did he expect her to act as if nothing was wrong? Did he think she would fall into his traitorous arms and drop the entire perilous episode? Damn him for being so utterly irresistible! Damn him for his magical pull upon her heart and body!

  To her astonishment, he threw back his head and actually sent forth amused laughter, his sooty mane dancing in the night breeze! The jet eyes that were glued to her startled green ones shouted of roguish mischief and vitality! His virile body of warmest cinnamon relaxed, muscles rippling with each movement. His confidence and pride filled the crisp air like a floral scent. A beguiling grin played upon his wide, sensual lips. A noticeable tenderness and delight glimmered in those ebony eyes. A pinnacle of brawn and good looks. She simply watched him in curiosity and vexing appreciation.

  When he noted her calmed air, he smiled lovingly and stated in a clear and mellow tone that stirred her heart to race rapidly, “I remember that night, Little One. I swear to you I have never touched Leah. If she carries a child, it is not mine. Upon my life and honor, I did not take her.”

  Stunned by his declaration, she gaped at him. Was he beguiling her or telling the truth? Her doubts registered brightly in her eyes. His jaw grew taut and his eyes narrowed. “You do not believe
me?” he demanded irritably.

  “How can I when you ‘swear’ you have never touched her?” she panted sarcastically, emphasizing the word “swear.” “You can swear you have never taken her, if that is the truth. But you cannot swear you have never touched her; neither can you honestly swear she has never touched you in fiery passion,” she sublty insinuated.

  “I have not taken her! The child, if one exists, is not mine!” He forcefully reiterated his stand, choosing to ignore the other charges.

  “Look at me, my husband. Swear upon the Great Spirit and all you hold dear that your seeds have never entered her body… anywhere,” she abruptly and frightfully challenged, telling him something he dreaded to discover.

  He inhaled sharply, unwittingly offering her a torturous and erroneous conclusion of her own. Tears eased down her cheeks as she miserably shook her head. “You cannot,” she whispered in a choked voice. Her heart devastated, she tried to pull free.

  “Shalee, hear me,” he hoarsely entreated, refusing to release her.

  “No! I can hear no more,” she screamed in dejection and disillusionment. “How could you do this to us? To me? Our son? White blood has torn us asunder, but not mine or your resentment of it!”

  “I swear I have not placed my seeds within Leah, anywhere!” he thundered honestly. “It is true she tempted me several times, but I did not yield! Even when my heart suffered at your loss and my body craved yours in the night, I did not betray you. I love you. Please trust me,” he pleaded.

  “When you rushed to your father’s side tonight, it was because you knew of her whorish skills and magic. You knew because she practiced them on you! Is that not true?” she recklessly dared him to confess.

  “She tried many times, but I did not allow it. My heart and mind are stronger than my loins. Why do you say such words?”

  “Because I saw you with her that day by the river,” she helplessly alerted him to her knowledge. “That was why I yielded to you! I feared I would lose you to her if I continued to resist you. But when my memory returned, I believed you could never betray me with any woman. I was wrong, for there were other times. You kept the truth from me. You lied and deluded me. You wanted her, but your pride stood between you and your lust! I wonder how long you would have rejected her if I hadn’t surrendered to you or returned to your life!”

  “What madness is this! Perhaps my body craved a female’s, but I have never desired another woman! Is your faith and love so small, Grass Eyes?” he defensively assailed her. “If you saw Leah’s actions that day at the river, then you know I did not yield! I did not weaken that night in my tepee or the other time she pounced upon me like a wolf on an injured rabbit! Your words and doubts pain me deeply.”

  “And you have not pained me deeply! You have not shamed me and yourself! Do you recall how long it took for you to resist her? If you did not desire her, why did you hesitate to kick her aside? How could you allow her to touch you in a place that is mine alone?”

  “I did not tell you because I was ashamed. My body was weakened by the battle that raged in my heart and mind. I feared I had found you again, only to lose you forever to the blackness of your mind. Do you not see how much she looks like you? I thought you dead, and she cunningly came to me with your likeness and manner. It was you within her that caused me to waver for a moment. I do not desire her, Shalee. I swear I love and want only you. Do you forget you told me to take her!”

  “Perhaps that could explain what happened while you thought me dead. But not what I witnessed by the river that day!”

  “Have you forgotten the state I was in? You had enflamed me and coldly rejected me! Yes, I was tempted to ease the pains of my manhood and to cool my anger upon her. But I did not; I could not! She could never take your place, never! The fires of passion are dangerous and powerful; I but needed time to conquer them. You know such ways of love; you know their power! I am not some all-powerful, unmovable man. I was tempted, but I did not surrender. Do not punish us for a brief moment of weakness and confusion,” he urged.

  When she remained stiff and silent, he dropped his hands to his side in exasperation and despair. He walked to a large rock and put his right foot upon it, propping his elbow upon his knee and placing his chin upon his balled fist. He sank into deep thought. There was no way to reach her, to adequately defend and justify his rashness.

  Shalee stood with her back to him, her mind in a violent turmoil. This short distance between them was cold and relentless. If she wished, she could simply walk away and end this devastating conversation. She wavered between love and hate, between repulsion and attraction. Her imminent decision would be monumental; her eventual response irretractable. Their entire future hinged upon her next move and words. God, if she only knew what they should be….

  Was his conduct so impossible to comprehend, to accept, to forgive? She could not find it in her heart or mind to doubt his claim of never making love to the devious Leah. From her own observation, she knew Leah was the crafty temptress. Could her pride and anguish reject his apology for temporarily wavering? He was a man, a virile one. She had practically ordered him to use Leah to sate his desires.

  At that time, she hadn’t realized the power of unbridled passion; she had enflamed his body, then rejected him. Surely his throbbing loins had craved the release and pleasure that Leah’s mouth had offered after she snuck up on him. Was she so naive and selfish that she couldn’t admit to his brief and natural wavering?

  Most women were controlled by their hearts and love where sex was concerned; men were not. Men were physical beings, where women were emotional and romantic creatures. Were her faith and love so shallow and selfish that she would destroy their love and life together? Once the deed was done and he lost face, the damage would be irreparable. Could she live without him? Was his crime that great? Under those unusual circumstances, could she blame him for being tempted?

  Irrational jealousy and bruised pride splashed obliterating tarnish over his previously golden image. No matter how fiercely she tried to blot out his past deceptions, she could not. Images of times when he had guilefully, often justly, tricked her returned to haunt her, to accuse him anew. Could she place her total trust in him, even now, after all these years of love? If only he had not vacillated that day by the river. Why did his indecision wound her so deeply? Was a mental crime as immense as a physical one?

  She slowly turned and scanned his broad back, touched by the suffering displayed there. How complicated and expensive life could be. Their love was too special to recklessly vanquish; their struggles to find each other had been long, costly, and difficult. They had finally overcome all barriers between them. Could she selfishly place another one between them or refuse to tear down the one he had carelessly and innocently constructed? He was probably hurting as badly as she was. But why shouldn’t he endure shame, guilt, and anguish? The ravaging battle offered no truce or cessation. She must settle upon what compromise was best for all concerned.

  She soundlessly crossed the length of ground that separated them. She summoned her courage and strength to defeat her own qualms and fears. She could not let Leah win this vital battle with her own rash aid! He belonged to her, and she would fight to defend her territory and to foil Leah’s brazen schemes. It would be foolish to sacrifice this vital creature whom she loved, her very reason for existing, to that cunning and malicious witch.

  “Wanmdi Hota,” she softly began, noting the instant tensing of his body, dreading her coming words. “I am trying to understand. I believe the child is not yours. I also believe you are mostly innocent in Leah’s schemes. But I must have time to forgive you and to learn to trust you again. In time I will forget you were tempted to yield to her. Until I can blot the scene by the river from my mind, you will sleep on another mat. If you refuse this truce, I will return to the camp of Black Cloud tomorrow. If you go near Leah again, it will end that very moment between us.”

  He straightened and whirled to confront her. As if doubting hi
s own keen ears, he asked, “Did I hear you? Do you threaten me or warn me?”

  She sighed and shook her head. “You are mine; and I will fight all powers, including Leah’s, to keep you. My life is here with you. But you have hurt me and deceived me. Time must heal such wounds. Prove you desire only me and not Leah; do not go near her dangerous magic.”

  A shout of gleeful relief split the still air. He seized her and swung her around, laughing in carefree abandonment. Her arms went against his muscled chest as he cupped her face and gazed intently into it. “You are my life and heart, Shalee. Life is empty and meaningless without you. I did not think I could survive even for our son when I thought you were dead. I love you, Grass Eyes, with all I am or can be. I will do as you ask. I cannot lose you again.” For her, he denied all pride and even resentment at her tacit blackmail. He must prove himself to her again. His brief weakness had inspired a loss of confidence in herself and in him. She must be made to see Leah was no threat to her or to their love.

  His mouth closed over hers and attempted to reveal his great love and desire for her. Visions of Leah enjoying such feelings tore at her reason and pleasure. She pulled away from him. “It is too soon. Too much has happened this night. First, Leah’s ghost must be removed.”

  He was stunned by her chilling rejection. “You do not want me now?”

  “I cannot pretend all is well when it is not. The mood is not right to touch as lovers. My heart is bruised and must heal,” she explained softly.

  “But I love you and need your closeness,” he argued.

  “Not when my thoughts see Leah in your arms,” she refused hoarsely.

  “But you have known such things for a long time. Why do they trouble you now? I do not understand,” he stated in utter bewilderment.

  “After I saw you with her, I was afraid. I desired you and feared to lose you. I was too upset to reason on the depth of your weakness; tonight when I heard your words of doubt, I realized how close I had come to truly losing you to her. I also learned of other times. How do you know the child cannot be yours?” she abruptly asked, eyeing him closely.