They left the apartment together and walked out into a weak sun trying to radiate heat through the bitterly cold temperatures of late January.
When they reached the pavement on Fulham Road she said, “I’ll drive, Tim, I had far too much to drink last night and a detox day will do me good.”
Giving her a feeble smile of thanks he opened the passenger door to her Micra.
He’d bought her a pair of knee-high boots for Christmas and she knew they looked great with her tights and denim mini skirt, and when she saw him ogle her legs while she slid into the driver’s seat - she smiled with satisfaction.
“These boots are so comfy,” she said chattily, turning the ignition.
“Hmm,” he uttered, folding his arms across his chest. He bent his long legs to fit into the foot well and then stared out of the window for the journey.
His parents lived in Belgravia and when she’d first met Tim she’d been in awe of their wealth and upper class standing but when she’d got to know them she’d found that they were genuine and sincere, and she liked them enormously. There was no snobbery or falseness to them whatsoever and both Tim and his sister had been raised with good family values knowing from an early age they had to be independent. Tim’s father, Graham, had paid for his university education and rent in student accommodation but Tim had had to work in a pub like his friends for his spending money.
Pulling into the Sunday quietness of the exclusive road she saw Lynne’s tall, statuesque figure waiting at the large black front door to the town house.
“Ah, you’ve made it,” Lynne said warmly, ushering them into the grand hallway and bending forward to hug Katie. Tim planted a perfunctory kiss on his mum’s cheek while she took their jackets. Lynne raised a quizzical eyebrow at Katie when she noticed Tim’s miserable face but Katie shook her head slightly in warning. Taking the hint Lynne breezily chatted her way through into the lounge where Graham was sitting reading The Guardian.
Last year when Tim told his parents they were looking for a flat to move in to together, Graham had bought the apartment on Fulham Road for them. He’d told them it would be an investment for himself but they could pay him a small rent until they’d saved up enough money for their own place. She’d been, and still was, overwhelmed by his kindness and after they’d moved in, every time she saw Graham she insisted upon thanking him over and over again until he’d thrown his hands up exclaiming enough was enough.
“Gin and tonic, Katie?” Graham asked jumping up and heading towards the drinks cabinet. He always reminded her of Reginald Perrin when he used the saying, ‘I didn’t get where I am today.’ They’d often tease him about it to which he laughed good naturedly.
She walked over to him and planted a kiss on his chubby cheek. “No thanks, I’m driving,” she said. “Just tonic water, please, and then I can have a glass of wine with lunch.”
Taking the glass of sparkling tonic water, she wished they’d taken a taxi because every time she looked at Tim’s miserable face her shoulders tensed uncontrollably and the gin and tonic looked tempting.
“It’s ready,” Lynne called, and they got up with their drinks and sauntered through into the dining room.
Katie looked at the huge sirloin joint of roast beef in the middle of the highly polished table and knew Lynne hadn’t been exaggerating - there certainly was enough to feed an army.
“Mmm, this looks fabulous, Lynne,” she said taking her seat opposite Tim.
Lynne’s face lit up with pleasure. “Good, well I hope you’re all hungry.”
“I have a feeling I’m going to be eating roast beef sandwiches all week,” Graham chortled.
Piling fresh carrots, greens, and roasted potatoes onto her plate, Graham carved two thick slices of beef for her but when he was going to add another she held her hand up in protest. The flavour of the succulent tender beef was delicious and the Yorkshire pudding that stood majestically next to her vegetables was crunchy on the outside and soft in the middle. Hmm, she sighed contentedly licking her lips in pleasure. All the flavours mingled together perfectly and she ate with relish.
Because Tim was a chef people were often wary about cooking for him and he often criticised their food but he never found fault with Lynne’s. Conversation ebbed for a while when they all ate hungrily and Tim, she noticed, drank his way through nearly a whole bottle of wine. She chatted happily with Lynne about a new boutique opening while Graham chipped in with funny remarks, making her giggle. Although Tim remained pleasant he only answered when spoken to, which by the end of the meal, had created a strained atmosphere.
Katie helped clear away the plates while Lynne served a homemade apple crumble with custard and Graham grumbled about his expanding waistline. Ordinarily Tim would have jumped at the chance to tease his father but he sat staring morosely at his wine glass and refused dessert. Katie however, felt obliged to have a small portion and after savouring her first spoonful she looked uneasily at the deep scowl which had settled on Tim’s face. Even with Lynne’s great lunch inside him he didn’t look any happier than when they’d left the apartment.
Lynne’s green eyes were sparkling as she broke the silence. “So, how was the Savoy?” she asked them excitedly. “Does the rejuvenation live up to the great reports I’ve been reading about?”
Tim visibly bristled. “I don’t know. I had to stay on at work and missed the party.”
“What!” Lynne exclaimed. “So you had to go on your own, Katie?”
Katie shuffled nervously in her chair not too sure what to do. If she sided with Tim reassuring them that it didn’t matter then he’d get tetchy but if she bitched about him then Lynne would be defensive.
She decided honesty was the best policy. “Yes, but it was fine.”
Graham was quietly spoken and was often mistaken for being a soft touch by other businessmen until they got to know him. Then they rapidly changed their minds because he could be, and often was ruthless, especially where money was concerned.
Now he grunted. “Can’t see how that would be fine? In fact, I think it would be jolly lonely.”
“Look,” Tim stressed. “My chef phoned in sick. I couldn’t leave the restaurant – shit happens!”
“Tim!” Lynne protested. “There’s no need for that.”
“Sorry,” he mumbled looking forlornly out of the bay window.
He looked as though he wanted to be anywhere else in the world but sitting at the table with them all, she thought and made an effort to gloss over the uncomfortable atmosphere. “Coffee anyone?” She asked, picking up her empty dessert bowl.
But Graham was relentless. He turned to Tim. “Couldn’t you have got through the main service and then gone to join Katie later?”
“Well, seeing that she’d hung up on me earlier I didn’t think she’d appreciate it,” he snarled.
A painfully awkward silence descended upon them all and Katie wanted to scream at him.
Graham slowly shook his head at Tim. “You’ve a lot to learn in life, young man,” he said sternly and left the table.
Feeling her cheeks flush with embarrassment she stood up and quickly walked out of the room and into the kitchen where she could hear Lynne having a go at Tim.
She stood at the Belfast sink griping the edge for all she was worth. Tears pricked at the back of her eyes but she willed herself not to break down. The bastard, she seethed, fancy telling his parents that she’d hung up on him. Well, if he’d been looking for sympathy from Lynne and Graham it had certainly backfired on him because it was obvious they were just as annoyed with him as she was. Oh God, where do we go from here, she thought? She choked back the tears and then felt Lynne’s thin steady hand on her shoulder.
“Come on,” Lynne asked. “What’s going on?”
Katie took a deep breath and with false bravado tried to smile. “Oh, it's just a tiff,” she muttered, walking away from Lynne who looked hurt at the snub. But Katie knew if Lynne put her arms around her she’d break down altogether because the hur
t and embarrassment was unbearable.
“J… just need to nip to the loo,” she stuttered and then flew up the stairs taking them two at a time.
The minute she locked the door and sat down on the toilet she felt guilty. She really liked Lynne and they got along so well together. She often thought when, or if she married Tim she’d make a lovely mother-in-law. She knew she’d have to apologise when she went back downstairs because she’d been off-hand and Lynne had only been trying to help.
Wiping her eyes with a tissue she looked around the huge bathroom which was probably her favourite room in the town house. It had a free standing roll-top bath in one corner and a wet room in the other and the floor was laid with black and white tiles typical of the Georgian period of the house. The chrome furnishings were second to none. She remembered the first time she’d come into this bathroom and had decided it was at least five times the size of her mum’s bathroom. How the other half live, she could hear her saying but then pushed her mum’s image aside - she really would lose control if she thought of her now. Heading back downstairs she decided to go and talk to her mum tomorrow - maybe she could make some sense of all this mess.
Tim was waiting in the hall. His face was red and he looked thunderous. “Let’s get going,” he snapped.
Lynne hurried into the hall with their jackets but Graham didn’t join her so Katie poked her head around the lounge door and saw him sitting in his armchair with a face as red and angry as Tim’s. They must have had a fight she decided and called out a goodbye to him while pulling on her jacket and hurrying back towards the front door. Tim was already outside standing by the side of the car.
Lynne gave her an encouraging smile. “He’s stressed with work,” she said nodding her head slightly towards Tim outside.
Katie smiled and put her arms around Lynne. She gave her a big warm hug to make up for her previous abruptness. “I know,” she said. “We’ll be fine.”
Taking a deep breath she walked slowly in the fading light to the car. The crunching noise of her boots on the gravel resounded in the quiet stillness of the late afternoon and they sat in stony silence all the way home. The minute she pulled up outside the apartment he jumped out and went inside without waiting for her.
She sat for a few minutes trying to decide what to do. She was still angry but at the same time scared because things had built up all day and now they were coming to a head she didn’t know what would happen if they argued to such a pitch that neither of them could back down. It had never happened before and she wasn’t sure how far to push it. Lisa and Sarah had been telling her for months that she was a mug to put up with his arrogance and selfishness but she’d kept hoping that once the pressure of work eased her sweet-natured Tim would resurface.
Climbing out of the car she shivered and pulled her wool jacket further around her chest against the biting cold wind. But, as Lisa had rightly stated, the trouble with bad behaviour going unchecked is that after a while it begins to seem like the norm and escalates. And boy oh boy, she sighed, it had certainly escalated today. Cringing with the thought of what was to come she went inside.
Briefly she remembered her earlier intention of talking in a calm and reasonable manner but since the episode at lunch time she knew that wasn’t going to happen – and even though she often shied away from confrontation deep down she knew the girls were right and it had to be sorted out.
He was sitting in the middle of the leather settee watching football highlights on TV with a bottle of wine and one glass on the coffee table which he now took a long swig from. Bringing herself a glass from the kitchen it fleetingly crossed her mind that because he’d had a lot to drink it might be better left until the morning. But the only outcome from that would be another sleepless night for her and he would crash out drunk and sleep like a baby.
Filling the glass with wine she stood in front of him. “Well?” she asked quietly.
“Well, what?” he answered sullenly. “Look it’s my night off - just leave it.”
She took a large gulp of wine and then a deep breath to steady herself. “We need to talk, Tim. What’s wrong with you? Is it work or is it something I’ve done?”
He raised an eyebrow. “You had the chance to talk this morning but you didn’t want to.”
She stared at him and couldn’t understand why he was being so horrible to her. Although he wasn’t a conventionally good looking man he did have a certain something that Lisa once said was devilishly attractive. But now his bright green eyes were piercing into her and she decided he didn’t look very attractive at all; in fact he actually looked quite ugly as he sneered at her.
“How could you say that in front of your parents?” she demanded angrily. “Have you any idea how embarrassing that was for me?”
Arrogantly, he sighed heavily. “It was the truth, Kate. You cut me off on your mobile. So, I figured…”
There it is, she raged, that was the look on his face that up until a few months ago she’d never seen before. It was a supercilious grin he gave people if he thought them inferior. She was furious and glared at him.
“Look,” he said, “I’ve got loads of shit happening at work and I don’t need this at home. I’ve just had a belly-full from dad so I don’t need it from you as well. I’ve already apologised twice, how many more times do I have to say it?”
She gulped more wine. “Christ, it’s not just about last night,” she said. “If it was just one night I would understand but it’s time and time again, you keep letting me down. I mean, what’s happening to you? You weren’t like this when we first met.”
“Kate, I’m a chef, I work long hours,” he said shrugging his shoulders. “You knew that when we got together so I can’t see why you’re having such a problem with it now.”
Her heart thumped in trepidation but she desperately wanted to get her point across. “Oh Tim, I’m used to your long hours but I just can’t understand why you’re behaving like this?” she said drying her sweating palms anxiously down her skirt. “Sometimes I don’t even know who you are anymore…”
“Join the club, sweetie,” he drawled.
“You arrogant prick. Who the hell do you think you are?” she yelled. “And don’t you dare speak to me like that! I’m not one of your bloody kitchen assistants.”
He stood up abruptly and knocked the bottle over which crashed to the wood floor. “I wouldn’t have you in my bloody kitchen!”
That was it she thought, this wasn’t the man she’d fallen in love with and she couldn’t stand any more. All the months of pent-up frustration raged through her. Slowly and deliberately she hissed, “You. Godforsaken. Bastard…”
Turning, she stormed into the bedroom and dragged a holdall from the top of the wardrobe. Her body was shaking from head to foot and she knew she had to get out of the apartment and as far away from him as possible because right now, she hated him.
Slamming the front door shut with tears streaming down her face she walked onto the path and towards her car. Throwing the holdall onto the back seat she felt a moment of panic. Who would she go to? Her mum would be at bingo and Lisa only had a one bedroomed flat. She would go to Sarah she decided, turning the key in the ignition.
Chapter Three
Tim finished the glass of wine in one long slug and listened to what sounded like Kate opening and closing drawers and the wardrobe door creaking. Christ, she wasn’t packing was she? Was she really going to walk out and leave him? His mind reeled in disbelief as he tried to rationalise in the drunken fog. She was his Kate and she loved him above all others, didn’t she? He heard the front door bang shut and, staggering to the window, he watched her throw the holdall into the back of her car and drive away.
With a shaking hand he spilled some wine from his glass onto the floor and coffee table. Damn, he cursed, and then in between gulps he cried out aloud, ‘She’s actually gone and left me!’ Anxiously, he shook his head in disbelief while the silence of the room seemed to close in around him. Should he go a
fter her in a taxi? But he wasn’t sure who she’d go to? And anyway, he raged, why the hell should he? She was the one who’d walked out and she was the one who obviously didn’t want to be with him anymore. Looking towards the bedroom and the wardrobe door she’d left open he repeated the words again slowly, ‘She. Doesn’t. Want. To. Be. With. Me.’
He felt the old horror of rejection raise its ugly head and memories from the past started to creep around his insides. Get a grip, he thought shuddering with trepidation and reached for the remote to turn up the volume on the TV. He tried to focus on the football but the images on the screen were blurred with alcohol so he laid his head back on the settee and squeezed his eyes tight shut. Someone had actually left him. It was the first time it had happened since he was eighteen - since the brutal rejection by Sally.
Sally had been his first serious girlfriend at university and they’d gone out together for two months when suddenly one night when she was very drunk she’d told him it was over.
“But why?” he begged. He’d been desperate not to lose her.
She’d pulled the sheet back from their naked bodies, pointed and laughed maliciously at him, “It’s that!” she’d cried aloud. “The way your penis is bent at the end. Well, it’s not much of a turn-on, is it?”
She’d thrown her head back and cackled mercilessly at him while he’d stared down at his penis still aroused from their love-making session and felt his face burn hot with embarrassment and shame.
“B…But, you never said anything before…” he’d stammered awkwardly as she’d simply shrugged her shoulders and carried on laughing at him. He’d gathered his clothes quickly from the pokey flat in the halls of residence and fled back to his own room, shaking and crying with humiliation. The next day a visit to the doctor with his best friend, Luke, put his anatomical fears to rest. There was nothing wrong and nothing to inhibit his performance, and he’d left the surgery in a state of relief with the doctors comforting words that all men were different sizes and shapes. Luke had wanted to give Sally a piece of his mind but Tim had stopped him by grunting that he could fight his own battles well enough. Following this episode, his confidence had taken a battering but it was the feeling of humiliation which had lingered for years after Sally’s cruel words. And from then onwards he’d made sure he always finished with girlfriends first, until he’d met Kate of course. His Kate was different to all the rest. He moaned, floating into a drunken stupor and black oblivion.
Yes Chef, No Chef Page 3