Monday morning dawned and when he began to focus on where he was and why he was curled up shivering on the settee his memory of the night before crashed back brutally. His tongue was so dry it was stuck to the back of his throat and the pain in his head was thunderous. ‘Christ Almighty,’ he sighed swinging his legs over the edge of the settee. ‘What have I done?’ But when he tried to sit upright his stomach retched and he lay back down again taking deep breaths. ‘She’s gone and I’ve lost her, and it’s my own damn fault,’ he wailed. What the hell had got into him behaving like that? Bloody-hell, he really had to stop drinking so much.
Trying to sit up again he finally managed to stagger through to the kitchen and greedily gulped down a glass of water. He found a bottle of aspirin tablets and threw two into his mouth then refilled the glass from the running cold water tap. Staring at the water swirling its way in circles down the plug-hole he shook his head in disbelief. He still couldn’t believe she’d actually gone and he was standing in the kitchen on his own. Grimacing at the foul taste of the aspirin tablets he knew he’d been well out of order, especially at his parents’ house, but his dad always wound him up and she knew that. Couldn’t she have just left him alone and given him a bit of slack for a few hours? And why oh why did she have to keep banging on about that bloody Savoy party?
Switching the kettle on to make strong coffee he knew if she’d found out the real reason why he hadn’t made it to the party she’d have flipped all the more so was just as pleased he’d kept quiet about the mess he was in. He pushed the plunger in the cafetiére down roughly, remembering the incident at work on Saturday and cringed with embarrassment - how could he have been so stupid to believe in Jim? And why was it all going so horribly wrong? It was his dream for God’s sake and he’d worked his bollocks off to get where he was and she knew that.
Heading towards the shower he stripped off his dirty jeans and jumper and yanked the shower curtain along the rail. ‘And another thing,’ he bristled, ‘wasn’t she supposed to be the one? The one that was in it for keeps? Hadn’t they said that to each other often enough and now at the first sign of trouble and hitting a rough patch, what does she do but walk out?’ Well that’s her decision, he thought truculently and of course any man would be peeved if they’d had their hand knocked away from her breast. And, what was all that about? She’d never done that before. While he stood holding his flushed cheeks up to the streaming hot water he shivered involuntarily when the memory of Sally’s pretty face flashed into the stainless steel shower head. No way, he thought vehemently, there was no way he was going down that road again with any woman and especially not Kate, who was after all, supposed to be the love of his life.
Wrapping a towel around his slim waist and hips he began to feel a little better. He decided to give her a few days to think things through - when she got in touch he’d have no objection to talking to her. But as far as he was concerned she should be the one to make the first move.
Heading back into the kitchen and buttering a slice of toast he sighed remembering how much he’d drunk yesterday. He knew if he didn’t get a handle on it he would end up sitting in one of those AA meetings, chanting out, ‘My name is Tim Fletcher and I’m an alcoholic.’
Shuddering at the thought and crunching into the toast, he left the apartment, deciding to call Luke later and talk to him about it. Luke had moved up to Yorkshire last year with his company and he still missed him. Tim knew Luke’s branch manager’s job was stressful and as he climbed into his car he wondered how he was coping with it all.
Arriving at the restaurant he swung the car into a space outside the back door and switched off the ignition. There were only a few parking spaces in the street overlooked by the back of old terraced houses and he glanced up at the grey dismal sky while locking the car door. There had to be something else he could do to cope with the stress, he thought striding towards the door; maybe drugs or smoking cigarettes, but he’d tried both in the past and hated them.
The noise in the restaurants kitchen seemed ear-splitting when he walked in and just with the simple movement of taking his jacket off the pain throbbed mercilessly in the side of his head. His junior commis chef, Simon, and Jessie, a young kitchen assistant were laughing and shouting at each other while preparing vegetables for the lunch time orders.
“Shit, man, heavy night?” Simon asked. “You look dog-rough.”
He couldn’t help but smile at him and nodded. Simon was tall, stick thin with a mass of ginger curly hair. He had the skinniest legs Tim had ever seen on a man and a face covered in freckles.
“Yeah, more of a whole day and night,” Tim answered morosely heading towards his small office adjoined to the kitchen.
“Need a coffee?” Jessie called, and thanking her over his shoulder he went into the office and booted up the lap top.
There were so many emails left unanswered from Saturday he didn’t know where to start. Sighing heavily he stared at the photograph on his desk of him and Kate and irrationally scowled at her. ‘You ran out on me just when I needed you most,’ he mumbled. Was that a line from a song he wondered as Jessie appeared in the doorway with a mug of coffee.
“Hey, do you want some paracetamol to go with this?” she asked beaming at him with her fresh young face. Without a scrap of make-up and her long black hair pulled back from her face into a ponytail she looked about sixteen although she was twenty-two.
He grinned sheepishly. “I’ve just taken some aspirin but maybe later…”
She placed the mug on his desk and hurried away obviously not wanting to linger and he tried to remember if he’d been unpleasant when everything had erupted on Saturday. If it was true what Kate and his father were accusing him of then he needed to be extra kind to Simon and Jessie because they were his only permanent employees, and without them on his side he really would be sunk. He’d never dreamt it would be so hard to find good staff in the city and it was a major factor on a long list of things that he wouldn’t have thought possible when starting the job. Not wanting to look into Kate’s eyes on the photograph he put it away in the top drawer of his desk. Thinking of her and Saturdays mess had to be pushed firmly out of his mind if he was to get through today’s work.
Chapter Four
Stay in control of the car, Katie willed herself on Sunday night as she drove across to Putney and pulled up outside Sarah’s house. Breathing a sigh of relief she saw the basement lights were on and silently prayed Sarah was at home. Turning off the ignition she finally gave in, put her forehead onto the steering wheel and let the torrent of tears fall down her cheeks. ‘Oh God, how could he have been so horrible?’ she cried and began to sob loudly.
Sarah lived in the first two floors in a Victorian house on Carmalt Road just off Putney High Street.
The sound of the passenger side door opening made Katie jerk her head up as Sarah stuck her face into the car. “OMG, what the hell’s going on?”
Wiping her jacket sleeve across her wet face Katie tried to speak, “H…he was just so foul,” she gabbled, “I…I couldn’t take any more…”
Sarah took charge of the situation and closed the passenger door. She walked around the car and opened the driver’s door. “OK. Come on, honey. Let’s get you inside,” she soothed, putting her arm along Katie’s shoulder.
Katie started to ramble again in between sobs, “Sorry, Sarah, I should have rung first but I just didn’t know where else to g…go?”
“Shush now, you’re going to be OK,” she said. “You came to just the right place.”
Gently but firmly she eased Katie out of the car, grabbed her holdall, locked the car door, and guided her down the steps into the basement flat.
“B…But, I…” Katie tried to stammer again but her teeth were chattering together like they’d done when she’d had an anaesthetic to have her appendix out. And although she didn’t particularly feel cold she just couldn’t seem to stop shivering.
Sarah eased her down onto the settee and whipping the t
hrow from the back she draped it around Katie and across her chest. “Now, you just stay there,” she said. “I’m going to get you a cup of hot tea.”
The sobbing was easing now and she managed to steady her teeth while she watched Sarah go through into her kitchen-diner. A feeling of safety flooded through her and she didn’t want to let Sarah out of her sight.
Coming back into the lounge she set a tray down next to Katie. “Here, knock this back,” she said handing her a small glass of brandy. “And I’ll join you. I think we could both do with it.”
Katie did as she was told and felt the warmth from the brandy flooding through her veins making the feeling of safety blend with a calm soothing sensation.
Sarah threw back her short bob of glossy black hair and drank the brandy in one go. “Oh, that feels better,” she said and took the empty glass from Katie replacing it with a mug of hot tea which she immediately wrapped her fingers around. “You’re freezing cold and you’ve had a nasty shock, that’s all it is, love. Don’t worry, you’ll soon be feeling better.”
Katie managed a weak smile. “Thanks, Sarah, I do already,” she said and began to sip the hot tea. She knew she owed Sarah an explanation and started to try and tell her a little of the argument.
“Not now,” Sarah said putting a hand up in front of her. “There’s plenty time for all that later. Keep it out of your mind for a while and just relax back, get warmed through and drink your tea.”
She watched Sarah fiddling with the TV remote and chattering about what program they could watch on a Sunday evening and not for the first time knew she felt blessed to have her friendship.
Sarah was small with delicate facial features and possessed an almost girlish prettiness. Being just five foot, with a tiny body and a pale English rose complexion her quietly composed personality gave off an air of calm gentleness and nearly every man she met wanted to rescue her. They often confused the gentleness with helplessness which drove Sarah crazy but then soon realised she had such an underlying strength of character that Katie often thought she was stronger than her and Lisa put together.
A loud knocking on the front door seemed to shatter the stillness of the room and they both gasped in shock. “Goodness, I am popular tonight,” Sarah said getting up from the settee.
Katie’s mind raced. Was it Tim coming to look for her? She almost squealed with fright. “Sarah, if it’s Tim I don’t want to see him,” she warned. “I…I just couldn’t face him!”
Sarah was on her way towards the door. “Oh you needn’t worry about that,” she retorted. “He won’t set one foot over my door step.”
Katie’s eyes were glued to the open doorway and her recently calmed insides started to churn again. Her heart beat thumped loudly in her ears in the quiet atmosphere while she held her breath.
“Oh darling,” Lisa declared grandly sweeping her way into the room followed by a smiling Sarah. Lisa wore a long, fine-knit, blue dress with a white thick shawl flung over her shoulder and pounced upon Katie hugging her with such ferocity that Katie could hardly catch her breath.
“Are you OK?” Lisa asked staring hard into her eyes. “I rang your landline and that bastard, Tim, said you’d left. And I knew you would either come to me, Sarah, or your mums and because I hadn’t seen you I figured I’d start with Sarah first.”
Katie untangled herself from the shawl. “I’m fine, Lisa,” she stressed. “I came straight here because you only have one bedroom and I knew mum would be at the bingo. And I’d got myself into a bit of a state but Sarah has poured brandy and tea down my neck and I’m loads better now, honestly.”
Lisa flounced down next to her on the settee and took hold of her hand, patting it reassuringly almost like an old matron would do. “Thank, God,” she murmured. “You’ve no idea of the panic I felt when I didn’t know where you were and if you were all right.”
During this time Sarah had disappeared into the kitchen and returned with a bottle of wine. “Wine anyone?” she asked without waiting for replies and poured three glasses. They all took a glass and Sarah dropped down onto a beanbag next to the settee, tucking her legs underneath like a little girl. “Katie wanted to tell me about the argument before but I told her to leave it for now until she felt better. I think it’s best to do that when you’ve had a nasty shock, don’t you?”
“Nasty?” Lisa probed and raised an eyebrow suspiciously. “He hasn’t hit you, has he?”
Feeling warm now Katie started to sweat and pulled off the throw, unzipped her jacket and taking it off lay it on the arm of the settee. “No, no, of course he hasn’t. Shit, I feel really stupid now,” she said. “I think I just over reacted and was so upset that I worked myself into a hysterical state.”
Lisa and Sarah both nodded in understanding and sipped their wine while Katie started to tell them what had happened from the time he’d rang yesterday to say he wasn’t going to the Savoy. She kept stopping for gulps of wine because her mouth and throat were dry and she’d had to choke back tears on a couple of occasions. When she’d finished she sat back and knew what both their different reactions would be, and she was right.
Lisa was bolshie with indignation, hating him instantly for hurting her and was fired-up with a loyal protectiveness. Whereas Sarah’s angelic face was contorted with confusion and her eyes were watery with sympathy desperately trying to understand why he’d behaved in that way. Katie looked from one to the other and gave them a tired smile. They were the two best friends anyone could wish for and knew she couldn’t live without them in her life - she loved them the same as her own family.
An easy familiar silence settled between them until Lisa said, “You won’t have had time to think about what you’re going to do?”
Katie shook her head slowly and looked unhappily down into her wine glass.
Sarah stroked the side of Katie’s knee. “My advice, for what it’s worth, is to do nothing for a couple of days and see how you feel when he gets in touch with you?”
And Lisa nodded gravely in agreement. “Yeah, but don’t let the bastard off the hook too easily. He deserves to suffer…” she said menacingly, and as miserable as Katie felt she couldn’t help but giggle.
After Lisa had left and Sarah had made them both a light supper Katie felt exhausted and tried to suppress a yawn but Sarah saw and insisted she go to bed and think about having the next day off work to recover from all the turmoil.
“And you know you can stay here as long as you need to.” Sarah called as Katie bid her goodnight and made her way along the hall to the guest bedroom.
Opening the hastily packed holdall she pulled on blue spotty pyjamas and crawled into the bed, exhausted. She tugged the quilt up under her chin and moaned quietly, missing the breadth of his shoulders next to her. Her temper about the argument had long since dissolved and in its place was a feeling of abject misery. The horrible words he’d yelled at her were going over and over in her mind and although she tried to think about his shitty behaviour over the last few months and knew she should hate him instinctively she stretched her hand across the great expanse of empty bed and cried herself to sleep.
The alarm on her mobile phone woke her the next morning and suddenly realising she wasn’t in her own bed she looked around the room at the candy stripped wallpaper and remembered what had happened. Maybe Sarah was right and she should call in sick but then thinking of the busy week ahead she decided to compromise and take the morning off. She sent a text to Frances telling her she had a migraine and was going to take some pain-killers and hopefully would see her around lunch time.
Lying back in the bed she began counting the amount of thin and thick stripes in the wallpaper which was a technique she’d used in the past when she was trying to keep a problem off her mind. But inevitably the argument won out and she went over and over the words they’d screamed at each other trying to understand why he’d been so horrible. This however, was difficult because she was still convinced that she was right and he was definitely in the wrong.
He has to be, she raged, because the girls certainly agreed with her and all three of them couldn’t be wrong, could they?
Curling herself into a ball she dragged her eyes from the wallpaper stripes and focused instead on the bedside clock. For some reason the memory of an old boyfriend came into her mind and how he’d once told her that everything in her world had to be black and white and that she couldn’t cope with grey areas.
Thinking about this theory she wondered what would be classed as grey in their situation but shaking her head she still couldn’t quite grasp it and swung her legs out of bed. No, the upshot was that she’d lost her temper and got to such a stage that she couldn’t have backed down even if she’d wanted to. And, then again, did she really want to?
Feeling like her head was about to explode with confusion she plodded along the hall, peeped into Sarah’s empty bedroom and then into the kitchen to make coffee. A note from Sarah was stuck to the kettle telling her to have breakfast and if she needed anything she was upstairs in her studio.
Sarah was a freelance graphic designer and had turned the whole of the second floor in the house into one large art studio. It was a beautiful room where light flooded through a massive bay window and all the walls were painted white. The room was full with canvases, sketch pads, easels, paints, materials and three desks; one of which held her lap top, one which was where Sarah painted, and the third held a desktop drawing board. Katie stood in the doorway and watched Sarah who sat with a huge plan clipped onto the drawing board and was so deep in concentration she was unaware of Katie. She used the time to look lovingly at her friend and say a grateful prayer of thanks that she’d been here last night because if she hadn’t she didn’t know how she’d have coped. She owed her big time.
Yes Chef, No Chef Page 4