by Bree Wolf
“I know how you feel, sister,” she said, attacking her own sandwich. “So, you got anything you want to say to me?” she continued, her mouth full.
I frowned at her. “How do you know?”
She swallowed. “Do you still not know how this works? You’re an easy person to read. When something’s up, it’s like you got a pointing arrow over your head.”
“Fine,” I said, trying to figure out what to say first. “Do you remember last year, the guy who used to come to the restaurant?”
Her face lit up. “Yes, he always vanished before you could talk to him. What? Did you see him again?”
I nodded. “Kind of. But that’s not all of it. I also told you something. Do you remember? Something that made you think I was crazy.”
“Gosh, you say a lot of things that would qualify. Could you be more specific?”
“Thanks,” I said, a forced grin on my face. “It was some kind of time shift.”
Abby’s face darkened, a frown appearing. “What are you talking about? What is a time shift?”
And then it hit me. She didn’t know. Of course, she didn’t know. When I’d told her, it had been 2011. I had completely forgotten to think about the difference between my past and everyone else’s.
Abby was looking at me as though she feared I was losing my mind. Maybe she wasn’t that far off with her idea.
“I’m sorry,” I said. “I forgot you can’t possibly remember that.”
“Remember what?” she asked. “Jena, this is a bit too freaky, even for me.”
“Sorry,” I said again. “Listen, something’s been happening to me lately that is way out of range of anything I would ever have considered possible. But it is happening and I just need you to believe me.”
For a moment Abby just looked me in the eye, not wavering.
“All right, I can do this,” she finally said and I couldn’t possibly express how relieved I felt to hear her say that.
So I told her–again–and again she listened. I could tell there were moments when she had trouble believing what I said, but she always came through. There was definitely an upside to having a friend, who herself was so much out of this world that she didn’t hesitate to believe what I was saying.
“And you think the guy is somehow connected to these time shifts of yours?” she asked when I had finished.
I shrugged my shoulders. “To tell you the truth, I don’t know. I feel like I don’t know any-thing anymore. But I think it is at least possible. He shows up everywhere…or maybe I should say everywhen…” Abby frowned. “I know that sounds weird but just go with it, okay?” She nodded, an amused smile on her face. “Whenever I shift, he is there. How would you explain that?”
Her eyes opened wide. “You’re asking me? You are aware that I’m not known for logical explanations, right?”
“I know,” I said, feeling a little less subdued. Her spirits had already lifted mine. “But I don’t think there is anyone at all who could possibly be considered an expert in this matter. I’m just asking your opinion.”
“Okay, then my non-expert opinion is that there might be a connection, and I think you should check it out.”
“How?”
“Ask him.”
“But he always disappears,” I said.
She shrugged as though the answer was too obvious. “Then next time, don’t let him. If you have to, tie him up. Could be fun!” Her eyebrows rose in a devilish way.
I couldn’t help but smile.
“Do you know his name?” Abby asked.
I shook my head. “I can’t imagine a guy like that having a normal name.”
Abby nodded. “You’re right. It would so take the mystery out of this if you found out his name was Ed or Marvin or Barry.” She shook it off.
***
We had agreed to meet at the movie theater and so Abby and I, lucky to finish work on time, walked the two blocks there. From down the road, we saw Andy waiting by the entrance. He waved to us and Abby waved back.
Once again for a second I was a little startled, only to remember a moment later that in this time Andy and Abby actually were a couple. It was before they broke up and I cautioned myself to not let anything slip and ruin it for them.
“How was work?” Andy asked, pulling Abby into his arms. It was obvious that the question was only directed at her. He barely noticed me.
“I’ll get the tickets,” I said, smiling, and headed for the ticket booth. I was really happy for them. They were so oblivious to anything around them, living in their own little world. It was adorable to watch.
“Hey there,” came a voice from behind me. I turned around and found Owen smiling at me. Just like Andy, he pulled me into his arms. “How was your day?”
“It was good. The usual,” I said, looking up at him. I felt like I had to familiarize myself with his face again; gentle dark blue eyes and a hint of a smile always playing on his lips. It was the strangest feeling. It felt so normal to be with him, and yet I knew that our relationship wouldn’t last. We weren’t right for each other. Whatever that meant.
“Let’s go inside,” Abby said, pulling Andy with her. Arm in arm, Owen and I followed.
Only a few seats were taken yet, and so we chose a row in the back to have a better view, or so I thought. Andy and Abby had only eyes for each other and that didn’t change when the movie started. Although Owen still had his arm around me, we weren’t nearly as absorbed in each other as the two next to us.
The atmosphere in the theater was exhilarative, filled with laughter. But for some reason, I couldn’t join in with the others. It was an okay romantic comedy. Any other day I would have laughed about its jokes and funny encounters but today was different for some reason. The dark in the theater was encroaching on me and I felt trapped somehow. After half an hour I needed to get out of there.
“Hey, I’m going to the concession stand, do you want anything?” I asked, knowing that if I didn’t give a reason, Owen would follow me.
He shook his head but Abby said, “Popcorn.”
I rose from my seat.
“And nachos,” Andy added, not even looking at me.
Walking out of the darkness, I started to feel better immediately. It wasn’t easy pretending that everything was normal when it was clearly not. How could the world expect me to enjoy a night at the movies if it played these weird tricks on me? Jerking me out of my own time and dumping me in the past. And to top it off, in a past with a guy I would soon break up with. Or who would soon break up with me. I wasn’t too sure on the details. At some point we had simply been over. Or we would be.
To have something to do, and because it would look weird if I came back empty-handed, I got in line at the concession stand. Luckily, the line was quite long, which gave me time to breathe.
After buying popcorn and nachos I reluctantly headed back. When I walked around a corner and down the hallway leading to the individual theaters, I almost ran into my mystery guy. Again he had appeared as though out of thin air.
His face was serious as he looked at me, eyes almost drilling into mine.
Once more I felt almost hypnotized. I didn’t know what it was or how it could be but he definitely had some kind of hold on me. I felt drawn to him for some reason I couldn’t quite grasp.
When he suddenly took a step closer, I started feeling weak in the knees. His eyes were still locked with mine, when he said, “You don’t belong with him.”
I blinked, trying to think instead of feel. “Who are you?” I whispered.
Once more he didn’t give an answer.
“What is your name?” I tried again.
For a second, his eyebrows rose. Then he dropped them as though to say I shouldn’t be asking questions to which the answer was obvious.
I wanted to reach out to him but my hands were busy holding Andy’s nachos and Abby’s popcorn. So instead, I too took another step toward him, our shoes almost touching.
“Then who should I be with?” I aske
d, daring him to show a reaction.
And for the first time, he did. A corner of his mouth curled up and there was a mischievous gleam in his eyes.
I felt my own lips spread into a smile, feeling a happiness stream into every fiber of my body that I hadn’t felt in a long time. I could have just stood there forever, amazed at the effect he had on me. I didn’t know him at all and yet…what? I didn’t even know how to end that sentence.
But then something happened that always seemed to happen.
I was completely oblivious to my surroundings and didn’t see the group of teenagers head in our direction. A young girl with ponytails and way too much makeup on her young face bumped into me, spilling her soda over my pants, making me drop the nachos.
Instantly, I snapped out of my trance.
“Oh my god, I’m so sorry. I’m so sorry,” the girl kept repeating, trying to pick up my nachos, which lay strewn all over the floor.
More as a reflex my eyes flashed to the wet stain on my jeans. They didn’t linger though, but quickly rose again. However, before they found the spot, where my mystery guy had only a second ago stood looking at me, I already knew that he would be gone. My heart grew heavy. I had once again missed a chance. The universe seemed to be against me. Against us.
And yet it kept throwing us together time and time again. Why did it do that? Only to pull us apart? I began to feel like a puppet in a cruel game.
The girl was still fussing about ruining my jeans. I only got her off my back by letting her replace the nachos that had landed on the floor. Finally I returned to my seat, handing out the food and sitting back down.
“You didn’t get yourself anything,” Owen remarked. “I thought that was why you went out.”
Realizing that he was right, I just said, “I changed my mind. I didn’t feel like eating anything after all.”
That settled it for him and he returned his attention back to the screen. After a while his arm came around me again but I felt like it settled there more from force of habit than the desire to have me close. I had to admit I could have done without it myself. To be honest, I had known from the beginning that Owen and I weren’t the perfect fit. We were comfortable together. But that was it. And it sure as hell wasn’t enough.
Knowing that we would be over soon didn’t hurt. Instead I was relieved that I wouldn’t have to keep pretending for much longer. I felt bad for him, but by acting as if I felt more for him than I really did, I wasn’t doing either one of us a favor.
Before I knew it, the movie was over and rising from our seats, we headed for the exit. Everyone around me was smiling, and laughing, and just having a good time, but I didn’t feel like joining them. I just wanted to go home. To be alone.
“Now, tell me,” Andy said, looking from Abby to me, “was that the kind of romantic crap you girls dig so much?” Although he tried to suppress it, there was a mischievous grin on his face.
Abby elbowed him friendly in the side. “Like you didn’t enjoy it? I’m quite certain that I heard you sniffle at least once, if not twice.”
He pretended to look shocked. “That was just…allergies. As ancient as the seat cushions were I bet there was a ton of dust stored in them.”
Abby’s eyebrows rose as she looked at him. “That’s the story you’re going to go with? Really? Can’t come up with anything better?”
Giving up, Andy simply shrugged. “What can I say? I’m a softie. Anything wrong with that?”
Abby shook her head. “No one said there was.”
“I’m glad,” he said, pulling her into his arms again. As he kissed her, I looked from them to Owen and realized that we had never looked at each other the way they did.
“What about you guys?” Abby suddenly asked.
“What?” I said, unsure what she was asking.
“The movie. Did you like it?”
I shrugged, buying time, because I honestly didn’t remember all that much. It had been a love story of some kind but anyone could have guessed that from the title. Although at the moment I couldn’t quite recall it. I shook my head. It was official now; my memory sucked.
“I enjoyed it,” Owen said and I sighed with relief. “It was quite entertaining.” Not deep, but good enough as an answer, I judged. Hopefully, that would be enough for Abby.
“It wasn’t just entertaining,” she objected. “It was so romantic. All the obstacles they had to overcome.” Remembering, she shook her head in disbelief. “But I knew from the beginning that they’d end up together. It was fate.”
I shook my head. “Now look what you did,” I said to Owen. “You set her off again.”
“Hey,” Abby said, raising a warning finger. “Don’t be such a spoilsport! Being who you are, I know you can’t admit you liked it but—”
“Why would I?” I cut in. “I didn’t like it.” Or at least I thought I wouldn’t have if I had actually watched it.
“Oh, what’s wrong with you? Don’t you think it’s romantic how they promised to stay together forever? To always love each other? Don’t tell me that’s not exactly what you dream of!”
I shrugged. “It’s not,” I said with vehemence. “Because it’s ridiculous to think that any two people would be stupid enough to proclaim eternal love for each other. I mean how could they? They can’t know how they’ll feel in a year or two, let alone in ten or twenty. Why promise something you can’t be sure to keep?”
“So, you would never promise something like that?” Abby asked, obviously unwilling to just let it go.
I shook my head. “No, I wouldn’t. I wouldn’t want to break my word. And odds are the day would come when I’d be forced to break it or live a lie.”
Owen took a step forward, lifting his hands as though trying to keep two opponents apart. “Maybe it’s a bit late to discuss that. Why don’t we just head home?”
“Doesn’t it bother you?” Abby asked, looking at him. “I mean I love her, which she knows because I’ve told her,” She looked pointedly at me. “But sometimes what she says makes me angry or…maybe sad.” Her face took on a pitying expression, which I couldn’t understand. I was happy with who I was.
Owen shook his head. “Why would it bother me? She said she loved me and that’s enough for me. I don’t need any guarantees.”
“Thank you,” I said to him. Although what he’d just said made me feel guilty, I quickly pushed that thought away. I’d dwell on it later.
“Abby listen,” I said. “I understand what you’re saying but I just happen to think differently about it. I don’t want to promise something I’m not sure I’ll be able to keep. All I can do is tell someone how I feel today and maybe promise tomorrow but anything beyond that…” There I broke off, shock freezing my face in a grotesque mask when I realized what I’d just said.
Owen frowned at me. “Are you all right? You look pale.”
Two more worried faces appeared before me but I barely saw them, neither did I hear what they were asking me. All I could do was tell them that I wanted to go home. More than ever I needed to be alone with my thoughts.
I have no recollection of how I got home. But when I finally got rid of them and was alone in my apartment, I almost ran into my bedroom, stopping in front of the nightstand. For a moment I just stared down at the book laying there. Then I bent down, picking it up. I took a deep breath before I finally opened it to the page marked by the silver book clip, engraved Today & Tomorrow.
After all this time, I thought I finally knew what it meant. But who had given it to me?
Chapter Fourteen - Belonging
Waking up with a massive headache from spending yet another night listening to that obnoxious beeping sound, I got dressed and finally decided to go with a mild pain killer. It was unbelievable that you could get a headache from a dream. After all it wasn’t real noise. It was just imagined noise. But unfortunately, just as annoying.
I arrived at the restaurant half an hour early and was relieved to find Abby in the employees’ lounge. Sometim
es she was almost psychic, knowing when I needed her. And knowing that we wouldn’t get a chance to talk once customers started pouring in, I jumped straight to the point without any preliminaries.
“I saw him again,” was all I needed to say to light up her face. Abby grabbed my arm and pulled me onto the couch, her eyes all eager.
“Tell me everything!” she demanded.
“Well, as always there is not much to tell,” I started. “On my way back from the concession stand at the movies yesterday I ran into him. Isn’t it weird how he always knows where I am?”
Abby nodded impatiently. “Yes, we’ve already established that. What happened next?”
“Yeah, but doesn’t it make you wonder how he gets there. I mean, does he walk, or drive, or does he really somehow appear out of thin air. It always feels like that. He doesn’t seem normal. Not like you or me.”
She stared at me. “I resent that. I’m not normal. All my life I’ve done my best not to be normal. Saying I’m normal is just mean.”
“Okay, okay,” I tried to calm her. “I didn’t mean it like that. I’m sorry.”
Her face softened. “All right then, apology accepted.” She grinned at me. “So, did he say anything?”
I nodded, and Abby almost slid off the couch with excitement. Not knowing why, I felt a little embarrassed when I told her. “He said, You don’t belong with him.”
“That’s it?”
“That’s it.”
She nodded. “Okay, not much, but still enough to work with. I think it’s safe to say that he was referring to Owen, don’t you think?”
“I guess so. Who else could he have meant? But why would he say something like that in the first place?”
A mischievous gleam appeared in her eyes. “Who do you think he wants you to be with?”
“C’mon, you don’t know that. He could have been talking about anyone.”
Abby shook her head. “I guess he could have. But he wasn’t. Has he ever said anything to you before last night?”
For a second I frowned but then realized that Abby really didn’t know about that yet. In 2004, I hadn’t told her and the other would only happen in 2011.