A Love Trapped in Time

by Bree Wolf

  He breathed out slowly, looking at me intently. “Mmmh, the other kind is more of a strange yet fascinating kind of bizarre. The kind that makes you want to know more.”

  I smiled. “So, that’s why you wanted to meet me? This is a social study. Are you writing a new book? Maybe about different kinds of bizarre people?” I shrugged my shoulders. “Whatever that means.”

  Nathan’s eyes opened wide and he stared at me while an amused smile slowly appeared on his face. “Wow.” He leaned back. “I definitely did not see that one backfire.”

  Satisfied about denting his armor of self-confidence, I said, “What? Are women usually charmed by this? Do you use the bizarre line often?”

  He laughed openly, then shook his head. “Actually, this is a new one. But since the field testing turned out to be so negative, I think I’ll retire it right away.”

  “That might be a good idea,” I said, nodding. “How about no lines at all?” He looked surprised and I lifted my hand to keep him from saying something. “I know. I know. This is new territory for you, which will probably make you behave like an amateur, but…”

  “But?” he asked, leaning forward.

  I smiled, remembering what he’d said yesterday. “But I think that sounds promising.”

  Suddenly he held out his hand. “All right, deal.”

  “Deal,” I said, taking it.

  “Utter honesty,” he mused. “It’s unusual, even rare. But I think I like it.”

  I frowned. “What? Another line?”

  His eyes serious, he shook his head. “No, just an old-fashioned compliment.”

  Watching him carefully, I nodded, “That I can live with.”

  “I’m glad,” he said, opening a menu. “So, can you recommend something? You seem well-acquainted with this joint.”

  Over the next two hours we talked, ordered and talked some more. The atmosphere was pleasant and somehow easy-going and at times I completely forgot why I was here in the first place. The food was delicious as I knew it would be and I enjoyed myself and his company immensely. I was even completely oblivious to the cautious stares from the bar. As curious as they were, neither Abby nor Andy were able to concentrate on anything else.

  “So, will you tell me now why you think we know each other?” Nathan asked, when dessert came around. Hot apple pie with cream. This day kept getting better.

  Again I eyed him carefully.

  “C’mon, try me,” he said. “I promise I won’t laugh.”

  Now I laughed. “That’s not it. I’m more afraid you’ll think I’m insane. Believe me, others have already gone down that path.”

  “Really? Others as in those two?” He pointed to the bar.

  “One of them,” I said.

  “Your brother?”

  I nodded. “How do you know?”

  Nathan shrugged. “He seems the type. Someone with a broad range of unusual interests but when something unusual really comes his way he is unable to believe.” I frowned at him but he just shrugged his shoulders. “What can I say? I know my readers.”

  Laughing, I said, “He actually does read your books.”

  “Well, at least one in the family does.”

  “What’s that supposed to mean? I thought it was refreshing that I hadn’t read your book? Or was that just a line, too?”

  His eyes narrowed. “Are you always this aggressive?”

  “I’m not aggressive,” I insisted.

  “No? Well, you should see yourself. If this is not aggressive, I don’t want to see you when you are.” He leaned forward conspiratorially. “And by the way, you’re changing the subject.”

  “You really want to know?”

  “Would I have asked if I didn’t?”

  “All right,” I said. “Here it goes. A guy, that looks…exactly like you, has been following me around lately.” I decided not to mention anything about the time shifts. At least not yet. “He suddenly shows up out of nowhere, even asks for me but he always disappears as quickly as he’s come. I don’t really know what he wants because whenever I try to talk to him, he—”

  “What?” he cut in, his voice sounding a bit shocked. “You actually tried to talk to your stalker? Okay, I’m not sure if I’m impressed by your bravery or concerned with your stupidity.”

  “Gee, thanks.”

  “Only trying to help,” he said in an appeasing tone.

  “Well, you’re not.”

  He exhaled audibly. “All right, go on.”

  “So, when I try to talk to him, he either disappears as though he’s intentionally avoiding me or he says something really cryptic that I can’t make any sense of.”

  “And when this happens, you’re sure you’re awake?” he asked, suppressing a grin.

  I looked at him disbelievingly. “Were you here before when I mentioned how people don’t believe what I’m saying? Or was that the other you I was talking to?”

  “Sorry, I couldn’t help it,” he said, trying to straighten out his face. “And…eh…he really looks exactly like me?”

  I nodded. “He does. Just minus the arrogance.” Again he laughed. “You don’t happen to have a twin, do you? One who has recently escaped from a mental institution?”

  A wide grin spread over his face. “I’m sorry, no.”

  Suddenly I remembered another reason why I’d come, and dug into my purse. “Here, take a look. Have you seen this before? Does this look familiar to you?”

  I took out his book and opened it to the page with the bookmark.

  There was a frown on his face as he looked from the book to me and back again.

  “You do recognize it, don’t you?” I asked, feeling hopeful.

  “Eh, yeah,” he said, something strange in his voice. “I wrote it.”

  “You did?” I asked. “Then tell me what it means. When did you write it? And why do I have it now? Do you know?”

  He held up his hands. “Okay, this is weird.” He leaned forward. “You know that this is one of my books, right? The one you quizzed me on yesterday. So, yes, of course I wrote it. About a year ago. As to its meaning, I—”

  My heart sank. “Not the book,” I said. “The bookmark.”

  His eyes closed and a smile appeared on his face. “Gosh, for a second there you actually scared me. I can see why people might think you’re insane.”

  “Hey!”

  He shook his head. “No, I just meant maybe it’s all in the delivery. Maybe you just confuse them.”

  “I doubt that that’s it,” I said. “So, you don’t recognize the bookmark?”

  He shook his head. “No, what makes you think I would?”

  “I’m not sure. It was just a feeling that there might be a connection.”

  “Between the bookmark, your stalker and me?”

  I nodded.

  “And you still think he and I are the same person?”

  “Kinda.” I hesitated. “There are differences but you…” I was about to say, you make me feel the same way, but then stopped. I had already told him more than enough. And even though I felt completely at ease with him, despite the fact that we constantly argued–in a weird way it reminded me of Abby and Andy–I remembered then and there that he was actually still a stranger. I didn’t really know him. And maybe it was a mistake to be this forthcoming.

  So I came up with a pleaded appointment and told him I had to go. From his face I could tell that he didn’t believe me but he accepted my excuse, asking if he could call me later this week. I agreed, realizing that I really wanted to see him again, and then before Abby could cut in with a question that would lead to another few thousand I rushed out to my car.

  Chapter Nineteen – Leap of Faith

  I spent the rest of the day lying on the couch with a bucket next to me. Shortly after I had returned home, my nausea had returned as well and only lying down on the side seemed to hold it at bay. At least a little.

  Was it food poisoning? Probably. Although I couldn’t remember eating anything that might
have caused this. And besides this feeling of nausea had come and gone a couple of times over the last few weeks. Mostly accompanied by dizziness or a headache. But now it had gotten worse. Worse enough for me to pay attention to it.

  Turning on the TV, I let it lull me to sleep. Again I heard Nathan’s voice. And this time I was sure it was his. But he wasn’t talking to me. At least not all the time. Sometimes the rhythm with which he spoke was different. It was familiar. But it was not as though he was speaking to me. It was almost like…I couldn’t quite grasp it. But it sounded urgent. More urgent than before.

  In the back there was that beeping sound again, ringing out in regular intervals. I knew I’d heard it before.

  When I woke, it was dark outside and a look at the clock over the fireplace proved that it was already two in the morning. Sitting up, I realized that my nausea was gone. So I left the bucket downstairs and went up to bed. Once my head hit the pillow, I was out. Back in the world of strange sounds.

  Although I had slept so much the day before, I didn’t wake until around noon. Luckily I felt mostly relaxed and only a little weak. Deciding on a careful breakfast of only a piece of toast and a little hot tea, I settled back onto the couch, looking out the window at the icy fields and forest spreading far into the distance. It looked so peaceful.

  Thinking about everything that had happened, I knew I hadn’t come any closer to an answer. But I was determined to see Nathan again. If there was an answer, it would lie with him–if he knew about it or not. And besides, I really liked him.

  As though just thinking about him had made him materialize out of nothing, I suddenly found myself staring at him as he was standing outside my window in the front yard.

  Sitting up, I put aside the cup of tea and then rose from the couch. But when I approached the window, he took a step backward. And then another.

  Instantly, I knew that this wasn’t the man I had had lunch with the day before. And I also knew that he would disappear again if I didn’t act quickly. So I rushed to the back door, pulled on my boots and threw on my winter jacket. A distant part of my mind alerted me that I was still in my pajamas but I didn’t care. I rushed outside and just made it before he disappeared around a bent in the road leading into the forest and to the lake we had used for ice-skating when we were children.

  Trying to pick up my pace, I realized I wasn’t feeling all that well after all. The world started to spin a little, dipping here and there, and I almost slipped a couple of times on the ice that still coated the road. But when I came around the bent, I found him standing only a few feet ahead of me. It was like he had waited for me to catch up.

  But when he saw me, he turned back and marched onward. Again I hurried after him, not knowing why. But something was pushing me. I knew I had to catch him.

  At one point I called his name and he actually turned around. I stopped instantly, too shocked at his reaction, and stared at him.

  His eyes were boring into mine, a pleading urgency in them. “Hurry,” he whispered and headed farther down the path.

  For a moment I leaned against a tree, catching my breath before continuing my pursuit. The rational part of my brain warned me that I was following a total stranger into the woods. It also warned me of pneumonia as I felt the chill of the icy air crawl under my pajama and raise goose bumps on my skin. But none of that matter. As though my life depended on it, I pushed onward.

  He led me farther down the path, through the forest and then across a field. I felt more and more weak as though my strength had long since abandoned me. Sometimes I even had to stop to catch my breath, convinced I couldn’t take another step. But although he was walking ahead of me and never turned around, he always knew when I’d stopped. Then he would turn back and look at me with eyes that made me gather what was left of my strength and hurry after him.

  After about half an hour, we reached the still frozen lake. Stopping at its banks, he looked at me before setting a foot onto the ice.

  “Are you crazy?” I asked, now standing only a few feet away from him. “What if the ice breaks?”

  But he didn’t care. He took another step onto the ice. And then another. Here and there I heard the ice crunch under his weight. But before long, he stood almost in the middle of the lake.

  Unsure what to do now, I just stood there, watching him. It was a strange deja-vu. In another time he had walked away across the frozen lake before and I had stayed behind. I hadn’t followed him. For obvious reasons.

  But then and there I couldn’t think of any of them. Nothing seemed to matter.

  He held out his hand. “You need to hurry,” he said, his voice urgent. “He needs you.”

  As though someone else was moving my leg, I set a foot onto the ice. Then I hesitated. But as he beckoned me forward, I took another step. And another. Slowly, I approached him and for once he didn’t walk away. He waited for me.

  “Who are you talking about?” I asked, now only a few steps away from him. “Who is he?”

  He didn’t say anything, his eyes focused on mine, but then they slowly shifted downward to my belly.

  For a moment I was confused. However, from one second to the next realization hit me with full force and knocked the air out of my lungs. My hand went down to my belly, shielding the precious life inside protectively.

  Another wave of nausea and dizziness washed over me and suddenly it made sense. My eyes opened wide, staring at him. How could this be? I didn’t understand any of this.

  He was still holding out his hand and his eyes still beckoned me forward. Again I hesitated; only for a moment though. Then I took another step toward him. That’s when I suddenly heard the splintering sound of ice breaking.

  I froze, panic rising.

  “Come back to us,” he said then, his eyes pleading, never leaving mine. “Come back to us.”

  Again the rational part of my mind kicked in, urging me to head back and get off the ice as fast as possible. But there was something else that told me no matter what happened I would be safe with him.

  So, instead of making for the safety of the lakeshore, I took a leap of faith. Reaching out for his hand, I moved forward. Step by step until his hand finally closed around mine and pulled me to him. His arms came around me and he smiled, relief playing on his face.

  Looking at him, I frowned, not understanding, when I suddenly felt a ripple go through the ice and I heard it breaking in several places. Again panic crept up my spine.

  Before I could form another thought though, the ice under our feet broke and with a sudden drop we plunged into the freezing water underneath.

  I gasped at the cold and felt the ice water fill my lungs and paralyze my body. Unable to move, I sank, deeper and deeper. My body didn’t respond to any of my commands. I couldn’t breathe. I couldn’t move. The cold held me trapped, my skin becoming more unfeeling with every second the water rushed around me. And then there was just a big, endless nothing.

  I led it carry me away and stopped struggling. The only thing I still felt was his hand closed around mine, not letting go.

  The Bookmark

  Chapter Twenty – Today and Tomorrow

  It was dark and cold.

  My arms and legs were unbelievably heavy but at the same time I felt myself floating around aimlessly. From inside my head, a blunt pain spread through my body, making everything ache. I started to shiver as the cold ran over me in waves, again and again.

  Desperately I tried to hold on to something, anything. But there was nothing. I was alone.

  Panic crept up my spine, shaking me mercilessly. Again I groped around for something to hold on to but again there was nothing. It was like the world had been swallowed up by a black hole, leaving me alone in a place that didn’t exist.

  All I wanted was to go back. I wanted to leave the freezing water behind, get off the ice and go home where it was warm and safe. Why had I come? Why had I taken this risk? I had because I had trusted him.

  Suddenly I remembered I wasn’t a
lone. And although my entire body felt frozen, there was a tiny fire burning where he still held my hand. It was warmer. Warmer than the rest of me and I held on to it. I let its flame catch me on fire and its warmth slowly spread through my body.

  As though the ice suddenly fell from me, I could feel my limbs start to tingle as my body temperature rose. It was like tiny needles poking me, again and again. I shook my head, trying to chase away the fog that had settled there, dimming the world around me. Slowly my senses returned.

  My skin no longer felt painfully cold. It was warm. Something was wrapped around me. It felt smooth and welcoming, as though I was inside a cocoon that was keeping me safe. My mouth was dry and I realized that there was no water in my lungs. I could breathe. Fresh air filled my body and I sighed in relief.

  It was as though I was waking from a dream. At first the world around me seemed far away. But then with every step I took, it came closer, welcoming me back. There was a strange sense of recognition when my ears were filled with a weird beeping sound, coming in intervals. I knew I’d heard it before. In my dreams. But now it didn’t come and go. It was simply there. Constantly. Always. And I could match my heart beat to it.

  At first I wondered why there were no pictures to match what I was hearing, why I couldn’t see. But then I realized that my eyes were closed. That was strange. I didn’t remember shutting them. Maybe it had been a reflex when I had sunk into the water.

  Slowly I opened them. At first everything was out of focus and I only saw shapeless, white blotches. Then my eyes cleared and I found myself in a room with white walls and a white door. Looking down I finally realized that I was lying in a bed. A bed with white covers. I turned my head to the right and found a strange-looking machine. A cable ran from it all the way to the bed and was attached to my finger by a clip. There was a line running across the screen that spiked in regular intervals, always accompanied by the beeping noise from my dream.

  I took a deep breath that went all through me as a sudden squeeze on my other hand made me turn my head. Surprised, I found that I wasn’t alone. Sitting on the chair next to me, with his head resting on the mattress, was Nathan, sleeping.