A is for Alpha

by Kate Aster

  “Well, actually, I have my overnight bag in the car. I thought I’d sleep on your couch and snore for you. Make sure you got some sleep. I didn’t like the idea of you being here by yourself right now.”

  My jaw goes slack. Honestly, that’s the nicest thing a woman’s ever done for me. And if my dick wasn’t as tired as the rest of me, it would probably be standing at full attention. But as it is, I just pull her toward me instinctively and let her softness meld into my frame. “That’s really nice of you, Allie.”

  We just hold each other for a moment, and it’s surprisingly soothing.

  When I finally let her go, even though I really don’t want to, she says, “So I brought dinner, drinks, and even some cards if you’re really desperate to kill some time tonight and the snoring doesn’t lull you to sleep.”

  If I wasn’t so exhausted, I think there are about fifty things I’d rather do with her than play cards to kill time. And none of them are clothed.

  “You really didn’t have to do this,” I tell her.

  Batting her hand through the air, she blows me off. “’Course I did. You do plenty for me. It’s about time I did something for you.” Pulling out the containers from plastic bags, she fills the small hotel desk with food. “I got you chicken and broccoli like last time. And I got egg rolls because I couldn’t help noticing your mouth watering every time Hannah took a bite out of hers. You really shouldn’t deprive yourself like that.”

  I grin at her know-it-all expression and realize that egg rolls aren’t the only thing I’ve been depriving myself of lately. “You notice everything, don’t you?”

  “I have been told I’m an acute observer.”

  I don’t know about acute. But she sure is cute. “I owe you dinner for this one.”

  Stabbing a piece of chicken with a plastic fork, she gazes up at me. “Do not. You just bought me dinner the other night.”

  “That was payback for the day at Buckeye Land.”

  She laughs. “Like you really wanted to go to Buckeye Land.”

  “I’ll admit, I didn’t. But watching Hannah have so much fun made it one of the best days I’ve had recently.” Of course, it hadn’t been just Hannah I had enjoyed watching that day. It was Allie.

  “So did I succeed?”

  “Succeed?”

  “In making you less jaded. Remember? That was the deal. You make me more spontaneous, which obviously you did since I just drove three hours to eat Chinese with you. And I make you less jaded.”

  I stare at her thoughtfully. I really want to say that she did. I know that’s what she wants to hear. But I’m still the same guy I was the day before I met her. If I were different, I would have slept like a baby last night. It’s just not in me to lie to her.

  “I think I’m still a work-in-progress,” I confess.

  She surprises me with a flash of a smile. “Good. Because if you didn’t need me anymore, then I might have to find someplace else to live. And I’m still officially homeless.”

  I’m glad to not have disappointed her. However I choose to define Allie in my life, I can’t dodge the fact that she really does matter to me. “Any news from your real estate agent yet?”

  “Nope, and I know she’s sick of me texting her. I just can’t resist, you know? I keep thinking a response from the bank might be waiting in her email and she just overlooked it.”

  “I don’t blame you. I’d be the same way. That place is your dream.”

  Her eyes are locked on mine as though I’m the only person who really understands the significance of that kennel. And maybe I am. I see it the same way she does—as a chance to really make a difference.

  I’ve always had a mission to focus on. And without the SEALs, I’m grateful to latch onto someone else’s mission just for a small taste of what I once used to feel to the core.

  Watching the faraway look she has in her eyes right now as she munches on a spice-laden chunk of meat, I worry a little about what might happen if she doesn’t get that foreclosure. The place is an eyesore, and pretty far off any main roads. But someone else might take an interest in it, someone with a lot more money than her. I don’t feel comfortable asking her what she offered on the place. My dad brought me up to believe that money, religion, and politics were cards you held close to your chest. But I’m guessing she couldn’t make a full-price offer.

  I could have sweetened the pot, I consider. Money isn’t exactly lacking in my family and thanks to the money my grandfather settled on me after his death, I don’t have to wait in line to get it.

  “You know, I’m not sure what you bid on the place, but if you need some money to bulk up your offer a bit, I’ve got some funds that aren’t tied up in anything right now.”

  Her jaw drops about an inch. “Are you out of your mind? You’ve got five townhomes you’re trying to flip, Logan.”

  “I can afford to invest in something worthwhile.”

  Laughing, she wads up a napkin and tosses it my way. I think she’s being playful till she touches her finger to my chin to wipe a few pieces of rice off my five o’clock shadow. The feel of her skin on mine, even briefly, sends the faintest blip of awareness to my fatigued groin.

  “You’re in serious need of help if you think dumping your money into a flailing nonprofit like mine is a worthwhile investment,” she retorts.

  She’s ignoring my offer, and I let her. Being raised in my family, I can recognize stubborn pride when I see it. “You think it’s a worthwhile investment,” I point out. “Why shouldn’t I?”

  Shaking her head, her smile is still wide on her face. “Because for me, it comes from here.” She knocks her chest with her fist. “When I walked into that dog pound for the first time, well, it was like my dad was talking directly to me. He always made a place in our home for any abandoned animals. Our house was crawling with secondhand dogs.”

  I smile. “And what did his voice tell you?”

  “Well, I was looking at all these dogs, trying to find the one that needed me the most, and I heard him whisper, ‘One is not enough.’ So I tapped on the worker’s shoulder as she’s taking out the poodle I had decided on, and I said, ‘I think I’d like more, please.’ She honest-to-God looked at me like I was nuts and said, ‘You want more? I got more,’ and handed me two more that were slated to get euthanized later that day. She didn’t want to see them die any more than I did. Then that night I called my boss and asked her how she set up her nonprofit.”

  “When did you find out about the foreclosure?”

  “Kim actually told me about that. She drives by it every day taking her son to pre-K. It was out of business before I even knew her, but when it started to fall into disrepair, she started eyeballing it for me, waiting for a ‘for sale’ sign to go up. It was on the market for a while at a price way too high for me. But when no one bought it, it turned into a foreclosure.”

  “Seems like it was meant to be.”

  “I’d like to think so.” She leans back in the weathered desk chair and sets down her fork. “So what about you, Logan? I’m always talking about my silly dreams. What kind of things are floating around in that serious looking head of yours?”

  I take a moment to bite into my egg roll and my mouth absolutely waters as the fried goodness seeps into my mouth. As I chew, I think about what to say and realize I’m coming up dry. “I haven’t got a clue what I’m doing actually, Allie. Being a SEAL was everything to me. When my dad got sick, I let myself get caught up in the initial drama of it, you know. I can say I was trying to be supportive and helpful to my family, but I wonder if I was just using it all as a distraction from the fact that I don’t really know what the hell I’m going to do for the rest of my life.” In those few sentences, it was the most honest I’ve ever been with a woman. It was the most honest I had ever been with myself.

  “Well, back when you were a SEAL, had you thought about what you’d do when you got out of the Navy? I mean, you can’t stay in forever, I’m guessing, right?”

  “Yeah.
I guess I thought I’d settle down in San Diego. Buy a nice sailboat. I figured I’d have a family by the time I retire, you know, have a couple kids that I can totally mess up the way my dad did for me.” I laugh.

  “Your dad did a great job with you.” She gives me a playful pat on my thigh and the proximity of her hand to my crotch in that instant puts my hormones on high alert.

  Shrugging as I pop the last bite of my egg roll into my mouth, I lean back in the stiff chair I had pulled up to the side of the desk, aching to stretch out on the bed. “He did a hell of a job with my brothers. The jury is still out on me.”

  “How can you say that? You were a Navy SEAL. You protected our country. You got the Silver Star.”

  “So, I was something great. Now I’m just some guy trying to flip a few townhomes.” I move to the bed, unable to suppress my need to get horizontal. “My brothers, however…”

  Wiping her mouth on a napkin, she moves to stretch out alongside me. “I don’t care if your brothers are freaking millionaires, they can’t top your achievements.”

  My brothers are freaking millionaires, I want to tell her. So am I, technically, though it’s something I don’t care to admit, even as I sip a Sam Adams and feel more relaxed than I have in days. Truth be told, JLS Heartland has kicked my family right into the status of billionaire, though my mother will never admit it and I tend to share her quiet view.

  It’s only now that I realize how little Allie might know about me, unless she has been punching my name into a search engine. I know she’s aware that Ryan is acting CEO of JLS, but I doubt she’s pondered how a thirty-one-year old got to such a lofty position.

  She’s just 24, I remember. Thirty-something probably sounds like the end of the road to her.

  Some days it sure seems that way to me.

  “Want your fortune cookie?” she asks, turning on her side.

  “I think I’d rather not.”

  “You’re no fun,” she pouts. “I’ll read yours.” Eagerly, she cracks open the cookie. “‘Be careful of the company you keep at night.’” She reads, her eyes lighting up.

  “Does not. Give me that.” I pull it from her grasp. “Careful of the brunette next door. She brings disaster,’” I pretend to read. I feign a gasp. “My God, it’s what I’ve been thinking all along.”

  She snorts, pulling it from my hand. “Liar. It says, ‘Tomorrow is a new day.’ Yeah, totally lame, huh? Fortune cookie messages are so vanilla these days. I swear the companies are afraid to put something scary in there for fear they’ll get sued.”

  “Let me see yours.” I get up to retrieve it from the desk and immediately want to get back in a lying position. I’m that tired. I’ve gone without sleep before in the field without any problems. But the rush of adrenaline keeps me going. Right now, even the fact that an appealing woman is stretched out on my bed isn’t enough to combat the lure of sleep.

  Cracking open the cookie, the message falls to the bed as I crash alongside her again. She pulls it off the timeworn bedspread.

  “‘Yesterday is forgotten,’” she reads, and her face curls up in revulsion. “These totally suck. I want my money back.”

  My laugh is low and weak as my eyelids start to droop. Downing the last of my Sam Adams, I roll to my side. “I’m beat.”

  “You look it.”

  “I’ll sleep on the love seat,” I offer.

  “It doesn’t pull out into a bed?”

  “Nope.”

  “You’ll never fit. I’ll take it, or… I promise to not accost you if I can share the bed with you.” Her eyes are filled with laughter.

  “You sure you don’t mind?”

  “Not a bit. You’ll hear me snoring better that way, anyway.”

  “Your snores will be a gift from God to me, Allie.” I pull off my t-shirt. She averts her eyes as I drop my jeans and slip under the covers. The sheets feel cool and crisp to me tonight, not itchy and stiff like they did last night. I guess I’m not a guy who can sleep alone very easily.

  A part of me worries I’ll wake up with a nightmare. I don’t want to scare the living shit out of her like I did Vanessa. Yet somehow, watching Allie quietly pick up the leftover Chinese and put it in the mini-fridge, I can’t even begin to compare my ex-girlfriend to her. Allie is cut from a completely different cloth. And it’s a cloth I’d like to wrap myself up in, I realize as my brain sinks into sleep.

  Some other time. Maybe.

  Chapter 14

  - LOGAN -

  When I wake up, my arm is resting on Allie’s shoulder and I’m sporting morning wood. Not cool. Not good at all, especially since I really should pull away from her, but everything in me wants to lie this close to her a little longer.

  The snore that escapes her is anything but ladylike, and for me, it worked better than a prescription sleep aid, the kind that’s highly addictive with plenty of nasty side effects.

  But there just aren’t any adverse side effects when it comes to Allie. No drama. No pretense. Hell, rarely even any makeup, I think with a smile looking at her now with her face only inches from mine.

  She is what she is. And what she is, is perfect for me.

  I wish I were perfect for her.

  Her lashes are longer than most women’s, and I’ll bet her friends envy her for that. I see these women wearing their trendy false eyelashes these days, and they’ve got nothing on Allie’s real ones. Her cheeks are full; I’d even call them plump, though never to her face because I doubt she’d like that. Yet they give her face a softness that I just want to touch. Her hair flows down her neck falling to the top of the nightshirt that she must have changed into after I fell asleep. I’m almost embarrassed by how quickly I drifted off and how hard I slept.

  And speaking of hard…

  I press my lips together in a frown, forcing myself out of the bed to get my body back under control.

  I slip into the shower and the cool stream of water brings me instant relief till it eventually warms up to a better temperature. A film of Kosmo’s fur and saliva washes down the drain. Half of the day yesterday, I sat with him at the hospital, since they allowed me to pet him and keep him company. I got plenty of appreciative licks for it. Apparently, he’s like me. He doesn’t like to sleep alone either.

  Anxious to pick him up, I rush to brush my teeth and shave, hoping the hum of my electric shaver doesn’t wake Allie in the next room. I flick off the power momentarily, and hear her unmistakable snore coming through the bathroom door. Smiling, I turn the shaver back on. The girl sleeps like the dead. I envy the hell out of her for that.

  By the time I emerge from the bathroom fully clothed and ready for the day, the snoring has abated and I see Allie stirring slightly, moving from her side to her back. Her breasts rise and fall under the sheets, and the sight of it makes my jeans feel a lot tighter in the crotch.

  “Hey,” she murmurs as her eyes open and rise to mine.

  “Morning. How did you sleep?”

  Smiling, she moves back to her side, revealing a hint of stunning cleavage as her breasts press together between her arm and the mattress. “I think the bigger question is, how did you sleep?”

  “Like a log. I owe you more than you know.”

  “Stop it. You owe me nothing.” She rises from the bed, and I can finally see a nightshirt that reads, “I sleep with dogs.” The oversized shirt has no shape to it, but it’s about the sexiest thing I’ve seen in a long time. “Mind if I jump in the shower?” she asks.

  “Go right ahead,” I reply, grabbing my phone off the charger and checking for messages. “The vet hospital opens at 8:30.”

  “Great. I won’t be long.”

  After we’re ready and packed, her car follows mine as we drive to the hospital, and Kosmo is ready for us when we arrive. He looks so vulnerable, still heavily drugged, with his chest shaved and a fresh incision healing up near his heart.

  When he sees Allie with me, his tail wags, but he doesn’t rise. Allie immediately gets down on the floor with him
and presses kisses to his cheeks. Lucky dog.

  I go over the post-op instructions with the nurse, sign the paperwork, and make a follow-up appointment for three months from now to make sure that the surgery was a success. He still has trouble walking, so I gather him up in my arms and lay him down in the back seat of my truck on a blanket that he likes to sleep on from home. I’ve never been so grateful I bought a four-seater truck as I am right now.

  Allie is waiting for me, leaning up against her car as I settle him in. Approaching her, my heart is filled with something more than gratitude. For the first time since being on the Teams, I feel like someone has my back.

  “Thanks again for coming, Allie.”

  “No problem. I’ll follow you home.”

  “How about I follow you?” I suggest. Truth be told, I’m not sure how many miles her ancient car has left, and if she ends up on the side of the road, I don’t want to miss it.

  “You think you can keep up?” She winks as she slides into her car.

  “I’ll try my best.” I slam her door and wait to make sure she locks it. Climbing into my truck, I glance behind me at Kosmo, who looks like he had one too many. “We’ll be home in a few hours, boy.”

  I try to keep my truck at a close distance to hers, and even when I lose sight of her, I can tell she’s close by because of the drone of her muffler. Her car really needs some work. No, I correct myself as I look at the rusty rear end of it. Her car needs a grave.

  It’s just old enough that I’m not certain whether she even has airbags, and if she does, I can’t imagine they are very good. She definitely doesn’t have a back-up camera, and with her being around dogs, one might come in handy.

  I heave a sigh as I hear her engine sputter when she presses her foot to the accelerator to pass someone. Frowning, I talk to Kosmo just because he’s a pretty captive audience right now. “She needs a new car, boy. Don’t you think?”

  I nod at his silence. Silence, after all, means tacit agreement. “Yeah, I agree, boy.”