Change Your Thoughts—Change Your Life

by Wayne W. Dyer

  of “kindness and justice.”

  If you need rules to be kind and just,

  if you act virtuous,

  this is a sure sign that virtue is absent.

  Thus we see the great hypocrisy.

  When kinship falls into discord,

  piety and rites of devotion arise.

  When the country falls into chaos,

  official loyalists will appear;

  patriotism is born.

  Living

  Without Rules

  Picture yourself in a world where rules and laws don’t exist, where everyone lives peacefully and harmoniously. There’s no anarchy, thievery, hatred, or war; people simply live, work, love, and play without needing to be governed. Can you imagine a planet where the need for codes of conduct and edicts to govern the populace are simply unnecessary? This is the sort of idealistic mental meandering that led Lao-tzu to create this 18th verse of the Tao Te Ching, in which he’s clearly stating that you don’t need rules to be kind and just.

  I’m suggesting that when you change the way you look at the underlying reason for regulation, the organizations controlling society, politics, and the criminal-justice system will eventually change. (Need I add “for the better”?) When you alter your viewpoint to a Tao-oriented one, you cease to see your dominant reason for being and doing as being dictated by your nation, city, school, religion, or even your condominium association! Laws or rules are seen by many as solely responsible for effective kindness, justice, and love—but you can choose to live from your heart, viewing these virtues as individual responsibilities that you adhere to without a statute or convention telling you to. This is what I mean by living without rules: You can choose to see yourself in harmony with the regulations and laws of your business, government, family, and religion rather than because of them. I promise you that when you adjust rule-based thinking to a heart-based attitude, your life will change!

  In the Tao orientation, unlimited joy, kindness, abundance, and well-being flow through all; seeing life in this way makes rules irrelevant. You can act in accordance with this munificence and beneficence, which are the essence of the Tao. Make love the bedrock of your family’s motivation to be loving, rather than just feeling obligated to be kind to others. This doesn’t mean there isn’t certain etiquette or behavior to follow—it means that the reason to do so is so that love and kindness flow through all individuals. And if there is any “crime,” it’s the stopping or hindering of that energy of the Tao.

  You and your children can learn to change the way you look at edicts and laws. When harmony is lost, a rule may seem to be helpful, but make sure everyone in the family realizes that you’re inviting them to learn to live without it! The existence of codes of conduct are proof that we aren’t allowing the Tao to flow freely through our lives. Learning that it is each individual’s personal responsibility to live without governing will ultimately demonstrate that when you change your thoughts, you change your life.

  This idea extends further: Ask yourself if laws create a healthy society, and if patriotism is valuable. Or does it appear that when a country has fallen into chaos or some form of civil war, laws and codes concerning patriotism seem to need to be enforced? Rules are created to impose penalties to control or govern people who haven’t learned their individual responsibility as a part of the wholeness of the group. Yet a national sense of unity needn’t regulate a universal sense, for the Tao oneness is greater than any group on Earth.

  So here we have a summary of what takes place when the Great Way is deserted: The need for justice arises. Falsity among the people creates a need for rules, and rulers are needed to restore order. Political ministers appear to bring light to the disorder and darkness. Knowing all of this, I believe it’s essential to get back to that picture I asked you to envision a few paragraphs ago and apply what Lao-tzu is saying in this profound verse of the Tao Te Ching: 18th Verse

  Let your actions arise from your Tao-centered heart.

  When you’re centered in the Tao, you don’t need any rules, nor are you bound by what’s declared to be legal or illegal. Your reason for not stealing from others isn’t because it’s against the law; rather, you assume personal responsibility for your actions. Your life isn’t based on living by rules; your reason for not stealing is that you respect the rights of others to be free from pilfering because it resonates with the Tao. In the Tao there is no stealing because everything belongs to everyone. There is no ownership of land or property—there is only the willingness to love and respect everyone and all things. The laws making stealing, maiming, or fighting illegal arose because of disconnection from the Tao.

  Don’t act virtuous; be virtue.

  Acting virtuous is not the same as being virtuous, so the Tao instructs you to be authentic in all of your interactions. Be pious because your own heart feels the piety that is the great Tao. Be spontaneously generous to others because your inner calling demands it, not because others in their code making have determined that this is how you should behave. Don’t wait for chaos to erupt before you are generous and kind to others. A natural disaster may stimulate your desire to reach out and help your fellow humans—yet if you change the way you look at that natural disaster, you could also see it as a reminder to let the Tao be your guiding spirit at all times. This would inspire your patriotism to be for all of humanity, rather than confined to the land where you happened to be born.

  Again, I’d like to remind you of the similar sentiment expressed by Hafiz, the great Sufi poet:

  Everyone

  Is God speaking.

  Why not be polite and

  Listen to

  Him?

  And everyone really means everyone, not just those who are subject to your rules and your laws.

  Do the Tao Now

  Emphasize why you’re obeying human-made edicts today. Spend some time connecting to the underlying reason for stopping at a red light, having a driver’s license, wearing a seat belt, paying to enter a movie theater, or not drinking and driving. See if your ego enjoys “breaking” rules for its purposes by listing all the rules and laws you obey or disobey in one day, and then identify your most important “heart rules.”

  19th Verse

  Give up sainthood, renounce wisdom,

  and it will be a hundred times better for everyone.

  Throw away morality and justice

  and people will do the right thing.

  Throw away industry and profit

  and there will be no thieves.

  All of these are outward forms alone;

  they are not sufficient in themselves.

  It is more important

  to see the simplicity,

  to realize one’s true nature,

  to cast off selfishness

  and temper desire.

  Living

  Without Attachment

  Upon first reading this 19th verse of the Tao Te Ching, it appears that Lao-tzu is encouraging us to abandon the highest principles of the Tao. Renounce sainthood, wisdom, morality, justice, industry, and profit, says the great sage, and all will be well. Lao-tzu tells us that “all of these are outward forms alone” and are insufficient for living according to the highest Way.

  The first of these categories represents education and the way you look at your sources of learning. This verse advises you to alter your concept of being saintly just because you follow the teachings of an organized religion, and to change your view of self-importance because of degrees you’ve received from an educational institution. Lao-tzu gently informs you that it’s far more valuable to cultivate your true nature.

  As with virtually all of the teachings of the Tao, the greatest trust is placed in your accessing the sacred Tao center of yourself. Within you lies a piece of God that instinctively knows what to do and how to be. Trust yourself, Lao-tzu advises, and reevaluate the ultimate importance of educational and religious institutions. When you modify how you see them, you’ll notice that the true esse
nce of you is “a hundred times better for everyone.” Lao-tzu might say that a truth is a truth until you organize it, and then it becomes a lie. Why? Because the purposes of the organization begin to take precedence over that which it first attempted to keep in order.

  “Throw away morality and justice,” this verse urges, “and people will do the right thing.” Here, in the second of the outward forms, Lao-tzu reveals a legal system that takes precedence over your natural internal integrity. When you know that you emerged from an impeccable Source of honor and equality, you don’t have to rely on a system of justice. Lao-tzu reminds you that it’s very important not to view yourself as relegated to an inferior position because laws of morality tell you who you “really” are. See yourself centered with the perfection of the Tao, which is your nature, rather than needing to consult a law book, a courtroom, or a judge to determine your ethical standing. These labyrinthine systems designed to determine all issues of right and wrong are evidence of our drift away from the simplicity of our inborn nature.

  The last of the outward forms is the whole world of business “Renounce profit seeking, give up ingenuity, and discard record keeping, and thieves will disappear altogether,” could be one interpretation. Lao-tzu advises you to stay centered within the all-encompassing integrity of the Tao and to release your view of profits and monetary gain as indicators of your level of success. When you see your life through the perspective of the Tao teaching, you’ll have no need to hoard large sums of money. Instead, you’ll discover the pleasure of serving others in a spirit of endless generosity. Or, as this translation of the Tao Te Ching puts it, you’ll “cast off selfishness and temper desire.”

  These, then, are the three outward forms: education, justice, and business. You’re being encouraged to update how you see the reasons for, the methods used by, and the way well-meaning people have taught to value those arenas of life. When you change how you see them, you’ll note the simplicity and sacredness of a higher principle, which will enrich those institutions with the free-flowing Tao. You’ll realize your own true nature, cast off selfishness, and temper your desire. Be in the world of education, justice, and business—but not of it—and you’ll see the inner world where you’re centered in the Tao.

  This is what Lao-tzu is saying to you, through me, from his 2,500-year-old perch: 19th Verse

  Observe your relationship to systems of education, justice, and business.

  Notice attempts to compartmentalize you: Are you dependent on a system of reward and punishment for approval? Do the rules and codes of conduct you follow come from a heart-centered space, or are they designed to create a label of “specialness”? Don’t fight these institutional pressures or even the fact that they exist—simply let go of all attachments to them. You are not saintly (a good person) because an organization says so, but rather because you stay connected to the divinity of your origination. You are not intelligent because of a transcript; you are intelligence itself, which needs no external confirmation. You are not moral because you obey the laws; you are morality itself because you are the same as what you came from.

  Choose to see the outward forms as poor substitutions for your true nature and you’ll begin to live without attachment to those forms. You’ll see your own inner laws, which never require codifying; you’ll live with freedom and simplicity. Trust first and foremost in yourself.

  Live without attachment by being generous.

  Let go of evaluating yourself on the basis of how much you’ve accumulated and what is in your financial portfolio. Stop putting a dollar value on all that you have and do. Let go of your need to get a “good deal” and choose instead to be a being of sharing. You’ll be happily surprised by how nice it feels to simply change your belief that you’re only successful if you’re making money. The less you focus on making a profit—instead shifting your energy to living your purpose in harmony with everyone else—the more money will flow to you and the more opportunities for generosity will be available to you.

  The world of institutional pressures is built on an endless list of human-made do’s and don’ts. Lao-tzu advocates that you discover your heart’s true desire, all the while remembering that no one else can tell you what it is.

  Do the Tao Now

  Post the following affirmation for your constant attention: I am moral, profitable, and a genius extraordinaire, regardless of what any institutional transcript or bank statement says. Repeat this mantra until it becomes your way of being. You will feel a sense of inner peace as you release the hold that outer forms have on you.

  20th Verse

  Give up learning and you will be free

  from all your cares.

  What is the difference between yes and no?

  What is the difference between good and evil?

  Must I fear what others fear?

  Should I fear desolation

  when there is abundance?

  Should I fear darkness

  when that light is shining everywhere?

  In spring, some go to the park and climb the terrace,

  but I alone am drifting, not knowing where I am.

  Like a newborn babe before it learns to smile,

  I am alone, without a place to go.

  Most people have too much;

  I alone seem to be missing something.

  Mine is indeed the mind of an ignoramus

  in its unadulterated simplicity.

  I am but a guest in this world.

  While others rush about to get things done,

  I accept what is offered.

  I alone seem foolish,

  earning little, spending less.

  Other people strive for fame;

  I avoid the limelight,

  preferring to be left alone.

  Indeed, I seem like an idiot:

  no mind, no worries.

  I drift like a wave on the ocean.

  I blow as aimless as the wind.

  All men settle down in their grooves;

  I alone am stubborn and remain outside.

  But wherein I am most different from others is

  in knowing to take sustenance from the great Mother!

  Living

  Without Striving

  In this verse of the Tao Te Ching, you’re encouraged to experience your life free of worldly striving. Lao-tzu advises you to slow down your incessant demands for more, and to relax your efforts to fill up every moment in anticipation of being somewhere else. You’re invited to experience life in a way that can be summarized in the title of Ram Dass’s book Be Here Now.

  Be here in your mind as well as in your body, in a state of appreciation and an absence of longing. Let go of wondering about doing the right thing. Release the what-ifs and all of your goals for the future, replacing them with the power of this instant. Be here, and remember to do it now, for thinking about being someplace else uses up your precious present moments. The enlightened sage makes a practice of immersing himself completely in the current “nowness” of his life.

  Being here now is accomplished by adopting an acceptance of life as it is presented by the great Mother, or the Tao. It’s a surrendering process, if you will—simply allowing this great all-creating, all-nourishing Source to take you where it will. You give up the idea of having to get more or to be in another place in the future, and instead see yourself as whole and complete just as you are. This surrendering process allows you to bear witness to the unlimited abundance and eternal light that is always present. You retrain yourself to give up your beliefs about lacks and shortages; you instead trust in the great Source to provide what you need, as it has always done for all beings.

  Lao-tzu emphasizes that this wasn’t a socially accepted standard even 2,500 years ago, as he refers to himself as an outsider who is unlike most people. Striving for satisfaction was viewed at that time as a proper role in life, just as it is today. The narrator of this verse admits that he is drifting, not knowing where he is, yet his tone is ironic. It’s as if he
’s saying, “No one really knows where they are in this endless universe with no beginning and no ending, so why not admit it and allow yourself to be moved by the Tao that brought you here from nowhere?”

  You’re being encouraged to simplify your life by not seeking another thing. Yes, others might judge you as unmotivated and call you an ignoramus, but your reward will be the strong sense of inner peace that comes from a direct knowing that you’re here as a guest who’s always being provided for. Yes, you may seem to be missing something, but the something is really only an illusion. You’re no longer living inside of yourself with a desire to be someone else or to gain something that seems to be omnipresent in all of those around you—you’ve traded in striving for arriving.

  “I accept what is offered,” says the narrator of this provocative verse in the Tao Te Ching. He continues to express that this may seem foolish, perhaps echoing your thoughts as you contemplate letting go of striving. Lao-tzu is telling you to change how you see what’s here now in your life, for then it will become exactly what you need in order to be happy. In other words, you can change how you look at striving and have contentment without anxiety and fear.

  When you live by the tenets explained in this verse, you begin to have a worry-free existence. Imagine that! No concerns or fears—only a sense of being connected to the Source of all, knowing that all will be handled for you by the same force that’s always handling everything. Lao-tzu is teaching you to free your mind from its persistent nagging. The world and everything in it are already taken care of by the Tao . . . it has always done so and always will.