Change Your Thoughts—Change Your Life

by Wayne W. Dyer

  29th Verse

  Do you think you can take over the universe and improve it?

  I do not believe it can be done.

  Everything under heaven is a sacred vessel and cannot be controlled.

  Trying to control leads to ruin.

  Trying to grasp, we lose.

  Allow your life to unfold naturally.

  Know that it too is a vessel of perfection.

  Just as you breathe in and breathe out,

  there is a time for being ahead

  and a time for being behind;

  a time for being in motion

  and a time for being at rest;

  a time for being vigorous

  and a time for being exhausted;

  a time for being safe

  and a time for being in danger.

  To the sage

  all of life is a movement toward perfection,

  so what need has he

  for the excessive, the extravagant, or the extreme?

  Living by

  Natural Law

  This verse speaks of a natural law that’s unaffected by ego. The message? You’re not in charge—you never have been, and you never will be. So you’re advised to let go of any ideas you have about controlling anything or anyone, including yourself. It’s a difficult lesson for most of us to learn. As Lao-tzu puts it in the beginning of this verse, “I do not believe it can be done.”

  Nevertheless, here’s one of the world’s most famous scientific minds, Albert Einstein, commenting on this law:

  [The scientist’s] religious feeling takes the form of a rapturous amazement at the harmony of natural law, which reveals an intelligence of such superiority that, compared with it, all the systematic thinking and acting of human beings is an utterly insignificant reflection. This feeling is the guiding principle of his life and work . . .

  It is to this feeling that I urge you to turn as you put into practice the wisdom of the 29th verse of the Tao Te Ching. Tuning in to this rapturous feeling of amazement at the sacred perfection of the world helps you release your desire to control anything or anyone. Doing so will allow you to live in the “harmony of natural law,” as Einstein describes it.

  Lao-tzu reminds you that “everything under heaven is a sacred vessel,” needing no input from you. Since you’re also a part of everything, you may need to change the way you look at your life and all that has transpired in it, as well as your vision of the future. Whether you agree or disagree, whether you like it or not, all of it is outside of your ego’s domain. It’s all unfolding according to the same natural law that causes the seasons to follow one another, the moon to look as if it rises and falls, the whales to traverse oceans, and the birds to migrate and return without benefit of a map or human-made guidance system. When you look at your life in this way, you’ll begin to see it unfolding organically.

  The Tao is a natural law, not some controlling force that’s manipulating you. In The Tao of Philosophy, Alan Watts reminds us that Lao-tzu once said, “The Great Tao flows everywhere, both to the left and to the right. It loves and nourishes all things but does not lord it over them.” The Tao is the informing principle of God, not nature’s lord and master. A power-hungry and ego-dominated control freak it’s not! Feeling superior is a human creation. The Tao doesn’t act as boss, forcing itself on you or anyone. It simply allows all of creation to reveal itself with perfect timing . . . and all that is revealed is sacred because it’s a piece of the ego-free Tao.

  I suggest that you create some quiet time to reread this verse and reflect on the sacred nature of everything in your life. Include past experiences that you’ve blamed for preventing you from having the abundance, health, or happiness that you’ve wanted and even expected. Ponder the advice that there’s a time for it all: Just as you must breathe in to breathe out, you may experience what it is to be ahead by also having a “being-behind experience.” All of those times that you felt betrayed, abandoned, abused, frightened, anxious, or incomplete—they all came about according to a natural law that also led you to feel cared for, protected, loved, comforted, and whole. There’s a time for everything, including what you’re experiencing today.

  Begin recognizing that every moment of your life is in accordance with the Divine Tao. By doing so, you’ll shift from judgment (and perhaps anger) to gratefulness for being able to feel both exhausted and rested, scared and safe, unloved and cared for. All of it is a part of the natural law. Your “ego-mind” tries to protect you from pain by insisting that you can learn to eliminate some aspects 29th Verse of your life. However, the sage within you desires to be more harmonious with the perfection of the Tao. How do you allow this? Lao-tzu urges you to avoid the extremes, the excesses, and the extravagant, and know that all is unfolding perfectly, even if your thoughts tell you that it’s imperfect. Those thoughts must also have their own time, and in the natural flow, they’ll be replaced by new ones . . . which will show up on time as well.

  Here’s what I believe this verse from Lao-tzu offers you from its 2,500-year-old perspective:

  Give up needing to control.

  Begin a conscious program of surrendering, and allowing your world and everyone in it to do as they are ordained to do. Surrendering is a mental process: It involves taking a split second to stop yourself in your mode of judgment or frustration and have a brief talk with yourself on the spot. Just remind yourself to step back and be a witness rather than a protagonist, which you can do by providing a sanctuary for the feeling you’re judging. Invite Divine natural order in by simply allowing what you’re experiencing to go forward without criticism or control; in this way, you move to the center. Think of the need to control as a signal to allow the Tao to flow freely through your life. At first your ego-mind may loudly scoff at the idea of the Tao being responsible for the perfect unfolding of everything. It’s up to you to recognize that your belief that ego can control life is an illusion.

  Practice recognizing that there’s a time for everything.

  When you’re in the middle of a tough moment, repeat the lines given to you by Lao-tzu. I do this in yoga practice when I feel exhausted holding a position for what seems like a too-lengthy period. I remind myself, There’s a time for being exhausted, and there’s a time for being vigorous. This frees me immediately from my demanding ego, which is saying, You shouldn’t be feeling this tired. You can do the same in any moment in your life. Experiences of pain, loss, fear, anger, and even hatred seem to vanish when you remember that this is a part of the perfect blossoming of natural law; and there will soon be a time for comfort, peace, and love.

  Apply this verse of the Tao Te Ching by creating your personalized statement when you observe things such as crime, AIDS, hunger, and war. Try something like, Yes, there seems to be a time for such things, and I choose not to remain in extremes of resentment and anger. But there is also my desire to do something about these circumstances—that feeling is also a part of the natural law unfolding. I choose to act on my inner desire to rectify these conditions. By remaining internally peaceful and avoiding the extremes, I will impact the world in the same loving way that the Tao eternally manifests from love and kindness.

  It’s not what you see around you that keeps you connected to the Tao; it’s understanding how this eternal flow works. As Ralph Waldo Emerson put it, “By atoms, by trifles, by sots, heaven operates. The needles are nothing, the magnetism is all.”

  Do the Tao Now

  Find a place where control is all-consuming and relinquish it today. Stifle your inclination to interfere, reminding yourself as you do so that there’s a time for everything and you’re becoming more adept at observing peacefully rather than taking over.

  Post this advice by Naomi Long Madgett where you can read it, and be constantly reminded of your desire to live naturally:

  I wouldn’t coax the plant if I were you.

  Such watchful nurturing may do it harm.

  Let the soil rest from so much digging

  And
wait until it’s dry before you water it.

  The leaf’s inclined to find its own direction;

  Give it a chance to seek the sunlight for itself.

  Much growth is stunted by too much prodding,

  Too eager tenderness.

  The things we love we have to learn to leave alone.

  30th Verse

  One who would guide a leader of men in the uses of life

  will warn him against the use of arms for conquest.

  Weapons often turn upon the wielder.

  Where armies settle,

  nature offers nothing but briars and thorns.

  After a great battle has been fought,

  the land is cursed, the crops fail,

  the earth lies stripped of its Motherhood.

  After you have attained your purpose,

  you must not parade your success,

  you must not boast of your ability,

  you must not feel proud;

  you must rather regret that you had not been

  able to prevent the war.

  You must never think of conquering others by force.

  Whatever strains with force

  will soon decay.

  It is not attuned to the Way.

  Not being attuned to the Way,

  its end comes all too soon.

  Living

  Without Force

  If you were to explicitly follow the advice offered in this 30th verse of the Tao Te Ching, you’d be in a position to have a conflict-free existence. Imagine that! If our entire global population understood and lived the directives of this chapter of the Tao Te Ching, we’d finally be free of battle-related stress, along with the ravages that war has spread across our planet since we began keeping historical records. As the 29th verse wisely instructed, there’s a time for everything—could this be the time for living without force?

  Here’s my impression of what’s being offered to you in this verse: Force creates a counterforce, and this exchange goes on and on until an all-out war is in progress. Once war has begun, decimation and famine result because the land cannot produce crops. Now when you create war in your personal life, it produces a dearth of love, kindness, and joy, which leaves you and everyone around you stripped of Divine Motherhood. Lao-tzu is encouraging you to look for an alternative to force for settling disputes. If you can find no other option, then you’re encouraged to abandon any reference to yourself as winning or conquering.

  Force includes any use of physical or mental abuse in which the weapons of hatred and intolerance are applied. There will always be a counterforce, and what you’ve opted to do isn’t “attuned to the Way.” This means that you’ll ultimately lose—especially when you consider that Martin Luther King, Jr., once observed that the only way to convert an enemy to a friend is through love.

  Unfortunately, whenever force is used, resentment and ultimately revenge become the means for responding. If we’re thinking in war-zone terms, the killing of a large group of people designated as enemies leaves their sons and daughters growing up hating the vanquishers. Ultimately, those survivors take up weapons to exact revenge on the children of those who vanquished them. The use of force propels entire generations of people into a continuation of war. Or as Lao-tzu puts it, “Weapons often turn upon the wielder.”

  Thinking in alignment with the Tao applies to any conflict you may experience. When you resort to force, then disputes with your spouse, your children, your business partners, and even your neighbors will continue to intensify. That’s because the Great Way of Tao is that of cooperation, not competition.

  The all-creating Source is always providing, asking nothing in return, and coming from a place of sharing its inherent love. It knows that all are part of the 10,000 things, and they must cooperate with each other because they share the same origin. So whenever you’re in a mode that propels you in the direction of using force, you’ve lost sight of your connection to the Tao. Moreover, any collection of people (such as communities or countries) who resort to weapons to get their points across are unattuned to the Way. They’ll leave the earth and the hearts of the people uninhabitable, except to “briars and thorns.” Your choice concerning your commitment to practicing the Tao includes refusing to participate in any manner, be it mental or physical, in anything that violates your understanding of the advice offered in this powerful passage of the Tao Te Ching.

  Perhaps the easiest lesson presented here is the reminder to eschew the behaviors of boastfulness and pomposity for anything achieved by force. Remember that whatever is accomplished in such a way creates a counterforce that will ultimately result in your victory turning to a defeat. If you somehow feel that you had no other choice than to use violence to protect yourself and those you love, immediately retreat to a position that doesn’t allow for bragging and self-congratulation. Vow to work on restoring a balance of love where hatred previously resided, and do all that you can to make amends for any damage that resulted from your use of force. This 30th Verse is the Way. It has also been called wu-wei, or “not forcing,” which means to take the line of least resistance in all of one’s actions, and by doing so, create more strength.

  Here’s what I believe you can learn and practice from Lao-tzu’s advice in this 30th verse of the Tao Te Ching:

  Eliminate verbal and/or physical force in all situations.

  Examine the relationships in which you experience conflict. Make a concerted decision to use less harsh language and to completely veer away from becoming physical in the resolution of any altercation. Practice stopping thoughts of violence by shifting right in the moment to a stance of listening. Bite your tongue! Stifle yourself! Hold back any response at all for the time being.

  These are great reminders to you to become attuned to the Way. Remember, any act of force will definitely produce a counterforce, so if you insist on escalating devastation, your weapons will be turned back upon you.

  Refuse to participate in violent actions in any way.

  Create distance between any form of violence and yourself. This includes listening to TV or radio reports or even perusing newspaper articles about the uses of force taking place all over the planet. See if you’re justifying hearing or reading about hostile activities as a need to be “fully informed.” Once you know that force is being applied anywhere in the name of subjugating others, you’ll realize that the constant repetition of that news makes you a participant in the violence. By refusing to allow such energy into your life, even as a passive observer, you keep yourself attuned to the Way.

  Eventually, when enough of us are unwilling to tolerate such behavior in any form, we’ll be closer to bringing an end to the use of force on our planet. Remember that every use of force, even the smallest, creates a counterforce.

  Here’s what a great 16th-century poet, Saint John of the Cross, advises:

  You might quiet the whole world for a second

  if you pray.

  And if you love, if you

  really love,

  our guns will

  wilt.

  Do the Tao Now

  In line with altering the way you look at the world, today change every television channel and radio station that presents an image or audio of the use of force or violence. Then increase that “no tolerance” policy to include movies, videos, and games that have beatings, homicides, and chase scenes.

  31st Verse

  Weapons are the tools of violence;

  all decent men detest them.

  Therefore, followers of the Tao never use them.

  Arms serve evil.

  They are the tools of those who oppose wise rule.

  Use them only as a last resort.

  For peace and quiet are dearest to the decent man’s

  heart, and to him even a victory is no cause for rejoicing.

  He who thinks triumph beautiful

  is one with a will to kill,

  and one with a will to kill

  shall never prevail upon the wor
ld.

  It is a good sign when man’s higher nature

  comes forward.

  A bad sign when his lower nature comes forward.

  With the slaughter of multitudes,

  we have grief and sorrow.

  Every victory is a funeral;

  when you win a war,

  you celebrate by mourning.

  Living

  Without Weapons

  The 31st verse of the Tao Te Ching unequivocally states that implements of violence serve evil. Lao-tzu clearly knew that weapons designed to kill are tools of futility and should be avoided if you choose to live according to the principles of the Tao. This includes the design, production, marketing, distribution, and of course, the use of weapons in the business of killing. The Tao is about life; weapons are about death. The Tao is a creative force; weapons are about destruction. Humanity has failed to learn this profound teaching of the Tao Te Ching, which was written when weapons consisted mainly of bows and arrows, spears, hatchets, and the like.

  From his position as an observer and a being of Divine wisdom, Lao-tzu recognized that there’s no victory in any activity where killing takes place. Why? Because all people, regardless of their geographic location or belief system, are connected to each other by their originating spirit. We all come from, retain, and return to the Tao. When we destroy each other, we’re destroying our opportunity to allow the Tao to inform us, to flow freely in and through the form we’re in. What appears to our ego to be a victory to celebrate is really a funeral, a time to mourn. Lao-tzu reminds us that taking pleasure in winning a battle is aligned with an ego will to kill. The Tao has only a creative, nurturing, and loving will. On this physical plane, our highest nature expresses itself through the precepts of the Tao, while our lowest nature expresses itself by engaging in the business of killing.