by Ava Walsh
Lindsay’s behavior perplexes me, although it’s now a bit clearer after her confessions. I shake my head. Did her ending things between us all those years ago stem from her feeling that she wasn’t good enough for me? The notion is laughable considering that she is the one who is too good for me.
Chapter Ten
Lindsay
I feel way out of my element sitting in this fancy restaurant, not to mention underdressed. I shouldn’t have agreed to spend the day in Hartford with Ethan. I’ve spent time with him almost every day this week, meeting for lunch and dinner and spending the nights at my place. Now that he knows I have a child, I feel a bit more comfortable with him in my apartment. I’ve managed to arrange for Casey to spend the nights with my mom.
I won’t have to keep up the charade for much longer. Amanda is getting married in two days. That means Ethan will be leaving. Guilt plagues me every waking moment for not telling Ethan about Casey, and for not telling my best friend about me and her brother.
“That frown shouldn’t be on that gorgeous face.”
Ethan’s voice penetrates my guilt-ridden mind. “Huh?”
“Okay, where did you just go? You zoned out on me. What’s wrong?”
“Oh, um, I’m just thinking about Amanda.” It’s not a complete lie.
“What about her?”
I search my mind for something. “I’m worried about her marrying that guy.” Again, not a complete lie. “He’s a bit of a douche.” I purse my lips, instantly cursing my loose tongue.
Ethan surprises me by letting out a laugh. “Finally, someone with the guts to say it.”
“You don’t like him either?”
“Not at all.” He sighs. “Amanda doesn’t want to hear that. She still gives me the evil eye after I confronted her about him days ago.”
I’m glad that we’re talking about something other than me, Casey or what’s happening between Ethan and me. “Yeah, she won’t listen to me, either. I guess we can’t do anything but stand by and watch her marry Nathan.”
“I suppose.” Ethan eyes my plate. “You’ve barely eaten.”
“I’m not really hungry.”
“Perhaps I can help you work up an appetite and then we can call for room service.”
My head snaps up. “Room service?”
“You did say Casey is staying with your mother for the night, right?” I nod. “I would like to take you upstairs to the room I booked and make love to you all night, Lindsay.”
Oh boy. How could a girl resist such an offer from Ethan Taylor? Especially when his eyes were darkening and moving over me with such burning intensity, making me squirm in my seat. “Okay,” I breathe.
The seductive curl of his lips makes my heart race. “Let’s go.”
We barely make it to our room before my dress comes off. Ethan slams the door shut with his foot and leans me up against it. His mouth moves over mine almost violently while I unbutton his shirt. He backs it off and kneels down, his hands running from calves to my thighs and up to massage my ass. He peers up at me as he slowly peels my panties off. I watch with wide eyes as he lifts one of my legs to drape over his shoulder.
“Oh my,” I moan, when his tongue slides over my sensitive bud. My fingers bunch in his hair as lightning shoots through my blood stream. My head presses into the door and I grind my hips against Ethan’s mouth. His skillful mouth works magic, bringing me to my peak in no time. I scream, shattering to pieces. My knees buckle, and I begin to slide downward. Ethan catches me, wearing a grin.
“Did you like that?”
“You have to ask? I loved it,” I pant. I’m suddenly in his arms being carried to the bedroom. I peek up at him through my lashes. He has no idea that he’s the only who has ever done such things to me, my only lover. I don’t think I will ever desire to be touch by any other man. He lays me on the bed and busies himself removing the remainder of his clothing. I lay silent and watchful as he slips on a condom and walks toward me. He looks magnificent, like a Greek God. How did I ever get so lucky to have such a man interested in me? This week with Ethan has been surreal. I wish I could have him like this forever. But I know that’s not possible. Shoving away my emerging depressing thoughts, I receive him with a smile.
Ethan rolls us over, bringing me on top of him. “I want you to ride me, baby.” His provocative words cause me to shiver. I feel so wanton straddling him like this. I blush like a virgin making love for the first time. He reaches up to tenderly brush my cheek. “I can’t believe you’re still shy with me.”
“I’m not as experienced as you think,” I admit. Thankfully, he doesn’t ask questions.
“Let me help you, then.” He palms my hips, lifting me and settling me over his length. I slide down with a gasp as he fills me completely, body and soul. His hands guide my movements until I catch my rhythm, my inhibitions fading. My head falls back, and I ride Ethan with wild abandon. His hands slide up my torso to cup my breasts. Then, he lifts himself to a sitting position to take a nipple into his mouth, causing me to buck against him. He groans and tightens his arms around me, thrusting his hips upward.
“Oh God, Ethan, I lo-” I catch myself before the word slips out. Dipping my head, I bury my face in the crook of his neck as I explode. My body is wracked with the intensity of my orgasm and the aftershocks that ripple through me every time he moves. He follows closely behind me, his body making a massive jerk and his shout filling the room.
“Shit, Lindsay. What you do to me.” His words come out in puffs. He falls back, taking me with him. We lay in each other’s embrace for a while, as we slowly descend from the pinnacle of sheer pleasure.
“Come to the rehearsal dinner with me.” Ethan’s low murmur disrupts the silence.
“I’m already going. I have to. I’m the maid of honor.”
“I mean with me, as my date.”
I lift my head to stare down at him. “Ethan, everyone will be there, like your parents. And what will Amanda say?”
He stares into my eyes, green pools holding me captive. “I know, and I don’t care what anyone has to say. They will all know that you’re mine.”
His. How I want to be his. But he’ll hate me when he learns my secret. I have to tell him. It’s full time for me to be fair to him and his daughter. I’ll tell him after the rehearsal dinner. Right now, I want to savor the time I have left in his arms, with him looking at me so adoringly. “Okay,” I whisper.
Chapter Eleven
Ethan
Walking into the country club with Lindsay, I smile at several people who call out to me. My hand rests possessively at the small of her back. I can feel the tension radiating from her in waves. I lean to whisper in her ear, “Relax. Everything will be fine.”
“Amanda will never speak to me again. How would you feel if your best friend told you he was sleeping with your sister?”
“I would probably kill him. But this is different.”
“How?” she hisses.
Because I love you. My sister will understand once she knows how I feel. I shove my free hand into my pocket, feeling for the small velvet box resting there. Most people would probably think me crazy for wanting to propose to Lindsay. We slept together once years ago, and I’ve spent all of one week with her recently. That was hardly enough time for me to want to propose marriage. Plus, she has a child, and I’ve never even met the little girl.
On the other hand, Lindsay is someone I have known almost my entire life. I know she is genuine and good, and I feel something for her that I have never felt for another woman. I have fallen in love with Lindsay Williams. I’m taking a great risk in asking her to marry me. There’s no guarantee she will say yes. I’m not even sure how she feels about me. But sometimes, when she gazes upon me, I swear I see something akin to love. It could be wishful thinking, though.
We enter the hall where everyone is gathered. Dinner hasn’t started yet, so there are people milling around chatting and laughing. I scan the crowd, searching for Amanda, but she’s
nowhere in sight. Lindsay notices too.
“Where’s Amanda? I thought she would be in the center of all the excitement.”
“Yeah, that is her way, isn’t it?”
“Ethan, Lindsay. You’re here.” My mother waves us over. As we walk in her direction, her eyes drop to my hand in Lindsay’s. She meets my gaze, raising her brows in question.
“Hi, mom.”
“Hi, Mrs. Taylor,” Lindsay says timidly.
My mother gives her a smile and pulls her in for a hug. She has always loved Lindsay. She practically lived with us, as she and Amanda were inseparable as kids. “Hello, dear. How are you? And how’s that little girl of yours? You must bring her over to the house and introduce her to Edward and me. You know we love you, dear.”
Lindsay fidgets with her dress, looking away from my mother. “We’re both fine. I’ll try and arrange a visit.”
I frown, studying Lindsay. She’s never been nervous around my family before. What’s gotten into her? “Where’s Amanda?” I ask.
“I have no idea. She arrived with Nathan but then she disappeared. I can’t get her on her phone.”
“I see.” I whip out my phone. Perhaps I will have better luck. I want us to get this shindig underway and done so I can pop the question to Lindsay. I won’t do it during my sister’s dinner, of course. I’ll wait until I take Lindsay home.
“Ethan?” I’m relieved when Amanda answers.
“Hey, baby sis. Where the hell are you? Everyone is here except you. This is your party, get your ass here.” I frown when I’m met with silence. “Amanda?”
“Is Lindsay there?”
“She is.” Amanda doesn’t sound right. Now I’m starting to worry. “Are you alright?”
“Uh, yeah. Put Lindsay on the phone, will you?”
I hand the phone to Lindsay, who looks at me enquiringly. I shrug. It must be a female thing. I listen to the one-sided conversation, watching the expressions play across Lindsay’s face. Something is definitely wrong.
“Okay, Amanda, just calm down. I know, honey. Stay where you are. I’m coming.” Lindsay hangs up and hands me the phone. “She’s in the restroom. I’m going to her.”
“I’ll come too,” my mom says, her tone filled with concern.
“Um, she asked me to come alone.” Lindsay shrugs apologetically and moves off.
“What the hell is going on?” I ask, quietly.
“Your guess is as good as mine,” mom responds.
I glance toward Nathan suspiciously. He’s chatting animatedly to a group of people who seem quite bored. He’s probably boasting about something or another, the braggart.
“So, what’s going on with you and Lindsay? She’s a good girl, you know.”
My eyes shift to my mother. “I know she is. Why does it sound like you’re warning me off of her?”
Margaret sighs. “You’re my son, and I love you. But you have a certain reputation.”
“Suppose I have changed? Suppose I have met a woman who is worth changing my ways for? Worth settling down with?”
The shock on my mother’s face is quite evident. Of course she’s shocked. I’ve never sounded like this before. “Oh. Well, I suppose that would change everything, then.”
“Yes, it would.” She gives me a warm smile, which I return.
“Your father will never believe you want to settle down. He’ll blame your sudden turn around on being hit too hard and too many times on the football field.”
I let out a laugh. Maybe my father would have a point. I, too, am a bit surprised by the way I have fallen.
Chapter Twelve
Lindsay
“Amanda, slow down and tell me what happened.” I try futilely to get her calm down.
“I can’t marry him, Linds. You and Ethan were right. Nathan is a complete asshole.”
I can’t disagree with her on that one. “What did he do?”
She looks at me with tears in her eyes. “He doesn’t love me. I heard him on the phone talking to one of his lawyer friends. He said I would be nothing but a trophy wife, too young and stupid to realize why he really married me.”
I gasp. “He said what?” I want to take a swing at Nathan with a baseball bat. Amanda bursts into tears. “I’m so sorry, Amanda,” I console, wrapping my arms around her. “He’s wrong, you know. You’re a smart woman, and too good for an imbecile like Nathan.”
Her lips twitch. “He is pretty dumb, isn’t he? Who wouldn’t love me? Look at this face.”
We both snicker. “You want me to sneak you out of here?”
Amanda sniffs. “No. I’m going to march out there and give Nathan a piece of my mind in front of everyone.”
“That’s my girl.” If my best friend is going to exercise such bravery, so will I. “Um, Amanda. I slept with your brother,” I blurt out, before I lose my nerve.
“What?”
“More than once.”
“Oh my God. I’m going to kill Ethan. Did he seduce you? Charm you into his bed like he does all those other women?”
I gape at her. I assumed she would be disgusted with me and tell me to get out of her sight. Such anger at her brother was not what I expected. “Er, actually, I was the one to seduce him the first time.”
Amanda blinks, surprise flickering in her eyes. A knock sounds, stopping her response. “Amanda? Lindsay? What’s going on in there?” It’s Ethan.
“We’ll be out in a minute,” Amanda calls, her eyes still on me.
“Amanda, please don’t hate me,” I beg.
“Did all this start since Ethan got here for my wedding?”
My eyes shut briefly. I’m going to have to tell her the entire truth. “The first time was after our graduation.”
Her mouth drops open as I continue to look at her, my eyes pleading. “Casey is three, isn’t she?”
My heart is pounding in my chest. “Yes.” I force the word out.
“Lindsay, of all the stupid, selfish things to do. You never told any of us your baby belonged to Ethan.”
“What did you just say?”
Amanda and I wheel around, our expressions of surprise identical. Ethan has pushed the door open.
“Ethan! This is the ladies room, for goodness sake,” Amanda scolds.
It’s too late. I can tell by the look on his face that he heard Amanda. He’s staring at me with a mixture of disbelief and hurt. “Is it true, Lindsay? Is Casey mine?”
I can’t look him in the eyes. “She’s yours. I’m sorry, Ethan. I should have told you, but-”
“Save it, Lindsay. This isn’t the time or the place to have this conversation.” His jaw is clenched, and his shoulders are stiff with tension as if he’s making great effort to hold on to his temper. “Amanda, your guests are waiting.”
“Well, they might as well go home. There will be no wedding tomorrow,” Amanda grumbles. She turns to me, sympathy on her face. “I don’t hate you, Lindsay. I’m pissed as hell, but I’ll get over it. I’m going to go out there and fix my problem, and you fix yours. We’ll swap stories tomorrow over strong drinks.”
I grab her hand and give it a squeeze, grateful for forgiveness from at least one person. “Thanks. Good luck.”
“You too.” She leaves the bathroom, leaving me to face Ethan’s wrath alone.
He glares at me. “I don’t know what that was all about, but if the wedding has been called off, I guess there’s no need for this dinner. Let’s go.”
“W-where?”
“I drove you here, so I’m taking you home.” He turns and leaves without waiting for a response. My shoulders droop with defeat. Great, he’s going to drop me home and drive off as soon as I step out of the car. He hates me, and I can’t blame him. I follow him, dragging my feet, feeling like I’m on my way to the gallows.
***
Ethan parks in front of my building. He still hasn’t said a word to me. I suffered through what must have been the most uncomfortable drive in history. I would feel better if he had said something to me,
anything, even words of anger. But all I have gotten is silence, torturing silence. “Ethan-”
“Let’s go inside.”
I sigh. Finally, he speaks. “Will it be safe to be alone in my apartment with you?” I ask sarcastically.
I’m given a withering glare. “You really shouldn’t be a smart ass right now, Lindsay.”
Pulling my lower lip between my teeth, I slide out of the car and march up the steps with Ethan on my tail. I can practically feel his anger. Once we are inside, and he has closed the door, I turn to look at him. My heart twists, seeing his pained expression. He reaches into his pocket and pulls out something, throwing it down on the center table. I stare at the small box with confusion.
“Why, Lindsay? Why would you keep the fact that you have a child from me for three years?”
I take my eyes off the box. “I didn’t want to hold you back, Ethan. You had just been drafted to the NFL. It was your dream. I just wanted you to have a future. If I had told you about Casey, you would have hated me.”
Ethan runs a hand over his face. “Are you listening to yourself? Why would I hate you because of our child?”
I shrug. Now that he says it, I feel like a complete fool for keeping something so big from him. My lower lip quivers as I fight back tears. “I didn’t want to ruin your life, burden you with the responsibility of a child. I thought at least one of us should live our dream.”
“You should have told me. We could have made things work.” He falls silent. “I have a daughter,” he whispers. It’s as if he still can’t believe it.
“I suppose all I have managed to do is make everything worse by keeping such a secret. I kept it from everyone. My mother suspects, but she doesn’t say anything. She looks like you.” He looks at me with sad eyes. My conscience berates me for hurting him this way. Because of my stupidity, he missed out on three years of his child’s life. “I’ll understand if you never want to speak to me again.”