by Ava Walsh
I walk back to my car, wondering what the hell I’m doing. If Lindsay doesn’t want anything to do with me then I should just let it go and leave her alone. I have never chased women. What makes Lindsay so special? I sigh, already knowing the answer to the question. She’s the first and only woman to make me feel something more than lust. Years ago, when she expressed that she wanted me, as much as I wanted to take her immediately, I was hesitant. Because I realized that she was the kind of girl for a real relationship.
Regardless of my rakish ways and who everyone assumed I was, I had intended on attempting a real relationship with Lindsay. I was willing to try the long distance thing until she finished school. After all, I had enough money to visit her anywhere she was, often. But she wasn’t interested, and I let it go, returning to my string of women and partying. As I sit in my car, staring ahead, I wonder if I should let it go this time around as well.
“No, I have to talk to her.” It’s time we settle the score once and for all. I’ll tell her how I feel and see what happens.
Chapter Eight
Lindsay
It’s well past nine as I make my way home. Pulling my phone out, I dial my mother’s number.
“Hi, sweetheart.”
“Hey, mom. Is Casey all ready to go? I’m on my way now.”
“Oh, she’s fast asleep. Maybe you should just leave her with me tonight.”
I contemplate the suggestion. It would save me the extra ten minute trip to my mother’s place. And I really don’t want to wake Casey up. If I do, she’ll never go back to sleep tonight. “Okay, if you don’t mind.”
My mom chuckles. “You know I don’t mind. I love having Casey here. You know how lonely I get sometimes.”
I sigh. “Yeah. Okay, thanks, mom. I’ll drop by tomorrow.”
“Good night, honey.”
I hang up the phone feeling guilty. Mom has asked me to move back in with her several times. Since my dad died, she’s been craving company. But I can’t bear to stay in that house without remembering how disappointed in me my father was before he passed away in that very house. Letting out a sigh, I park my car and head inside. Now isn’t the time to dredge up such memories. I’m way too tired. I have also tried to avoid thinking of the kiss Ethan and I shared earlier. My lips are still tingling hours later. I reach into my bag for my keys and open the door.
“Lindsay.”
With a yelp, I turn around to see Ethan walking up the steps. “Oh my God, Ethan. You scared me.”
“I’m sorry.” He is standing a few feet away from me with his hands in his pocket.
“How did you find me?”
He shrugs. “I considered visiting your mother but after asking around town, I got your address.”
My heart stills at the mention of him going to my mother’s. Thank God he didn’t. Casey is there. “What do you want?”
“I want to talk, Lindsay. Can we just sit and have a decent conversation, please?”
That would require him coming into my apartment. I glance back at my half open door nervously. “Um, okay. Maybe we can stay out here or go into your car.”
Ethan’s brows crease, and he gives me a strange look. “Perhaps we would be more comfortable inside. Come on, Lindsay. Are you afraid to invite me in? It’s not like I’m some stranger.”
Do I tell him that I’m self-conscious about the state of my apartment? He’s used to glamorous hotels and penthouses. My place is on the negative side of the glamorous scale. “Well, it’s just that- my apartment isn’t in order for visitors.” Ethan takes me by surprise when he lets out an annoyed growl and steps past me. He pulls me inside in the process. “Hey, I didn’t say you could come in,” I protest.
“Shut it, Lindsay. I’m already inside.”
Seething, I close the door and turn to face him. “Fine, you’re in. What do you want to talk about?” We might as well get it over with so that I can send him on his way. Thank goodness I decided to leave Casey with my mom tonight. I don’t even want to imagine how it would have gone down if Ethan had seen her tonight.
“I want to talk about us.” Ethan is staring at me with the same intensity that I’m sure I have in my own gaze.
“There is no us, Ethan. There, we’ve talked. You can go now.”
There is a string of expletives, which cause my brows to shoot up. “You kiss your mother with that mouth, Ethan?”
“I like kissing you more.” Color crept up my neck and spread to my cheeks. He grinned wickedly, knowingly. “I know you like it too, Lindsay. The way you melted in my arms earlier today was all the indication I need.”
Well, he isn’t wrong. The kiss we shared was everything, and I would love to experience it again and again. I purse my lips. “It won’t happen again. I’m not going down that road with you, Ethan. Sure, I had a crush on you a few years ago, but we parted ways, and I don’t feel the same way anymore.”
He steps closer to me. I’m very much aware of his imposing presence, making my apartment seem smaller than it is. I want to take a step back, to put distance between us, but I refuse to let him see how much his proximity affects me.
“As I recall, it was more than a crush. Have your feelings for me truly faded, Lindsay?” His tone is low and seductive, washing over me like a gentle caress. His eyes are smoldering, penetrating my very soul. If I lie, he’ll know.
“No.” The word spills from my lips, emerging more breathless than I had intended. I swallow hard. Since I’m being honest, I might as well let him know about our daughter. If he ends up hating me, so be it. Keeping the secret for three years has been torturous. “Ethan, I-”
His mouth captures mine, cutting off my confession. “I never stopped thinking about you,” he whispers against my lips, “About where things could have led.”
His admission takes me by surprise. I want to ask him how he found time to think about me with all of his female companions occupying his time, his bed. But I’m enjoying the way his lips are gently grazing mine too much, and I don’t want to him to stop. He pulls me closer so that I can feel the evidence of his need. I can’t help but feel flattered that I’m affecting him in such a way. His tongue plunges into my mouth and I let out a small moan, wrapping my arms more tightly around his neck.
Ethan pulls back slightly to grin at me. “Obviously I still want you. Bedroom?”
If we go into my bedroom, he’ll see Casey’s crib. “Right here,” I whisper, glancing at the couch. I’m relieved when his grin broadens and his head dips to cover my mouth with his once again. It doesn’t take long for the passion between us to erupt into a full, all-consuming blaze. Years of pent up desire and emotions erupt. The tender kiss we share becomes more urgent.
Ethan’s mouth leaves mine to feather kisses down my neck. His hands cup my bottom, pulling me against his erection. I feel his hands slip beneath my shirt to caress my skin. A shudder runs through me. I’ve dreamed of his hands on me so many times. My shirt is pulled over my head, followed by my bra. Ethan wastes no time palming my bare breasts, bending his head to flick his tongue over one nipple. I gasp, moisture seeping into my panties. He moves on to the other breast to deliver his delicious assault.
It has been almost four years since I’ve been touched like this, so my body is extra sensitive to his touch. The slightest graze makes me feel like I’m about to combust. “I want to feel your skin against mine,” I whisper.
He lifts his head, a smile tugging on his lips. There is something like relief in his eyes. Did he think I wouldn’t want him? What woman wouldn’t? He hooks his thumbs into the waistband of my pants and slides them over my hips and down my thighs. Every piece of my clothing is removed, leaving me vulnerable to his probing gaze.
“You’re so beautiful, Lindsay, every inch of you. I wondered when I would get to feast my eyes on you again.” He begins to remove his clothes and I watch, mesmerized by the ripple of his muscles with each movement. The need to touch him gives me the courage to step forward to run my hands over his velvety skin
. My hands slide over his defined chest and abdomen, slipping lower to his jutting erection. I glance up at him before gripping him with shaky fingers. He inhales sharply and fire flashes in his eyes. Timidly, I begin to move my hands, stroking him gently. I’m satisfied with the way he pants as if he’s fighting for control. Bringing a man like Ethan to such a state is extremely empowering. I tighten my hold.
Ethan’s hands clamp over my wrist. “God, Lindsay. No more. I’m about to lose it, and I haven’t even touched you yet.” He lifts me off the floor and my legs wrap around his waist as he carries us down to the couch. Finally, I get to feel him against me with no barrier. This is all too familiar. Me naked beneath Ethan on a couch. This is how it all started.
“Damn,” he hisses. “I almost forgot.” He gets up, leaving me feeling bereft.
“What?” I ask, propping myself up on my elbows.
He lifts his pants off the floor and reaches into a pocket, revealing a foil packet. I cock an eyebrow. If only we had both been thinking about this that first time in the pool house. He clears his throat. “I didn’t come here planning to-”
“Seduce me?” I finish with a slight smile.
He grins and sheaths himself. “Not that I’m not ecstatic that it’s happening.” He lowers himself between my thighs again, this time staring into my eyes. “I don’t want you to have any regrets this time around.”
“I won’t. I want this. I want you.” The consequences be damned.
He lifts a hand to trail his finger down my cheek and then lowers to take hold of my hip. His cock presses against my entrance, and I lift my hips in an attempt to take him inside of me. “Please, Ethan. I’ve waited so long.”
He responds by easing into me with agonizing slowness until he is buried deep. We both let out contented sighs, pleased that we are once again connected after so long. Ethan moves slowly at first, but his strokes become faster. His jaw is clenched and I can see his internal battle through his eyes. He’s struggling to maintain control. But I don’t want him to. I want him to let go. I want all of him. My legs tighten around his waist as I lift my hips to meet his thrusts, taking him deeper.
“More, Ethan.” My soft plea seems to snap the control he is trying so hard to keep. He begins to drive into me more vigorously, eliciting a cry from my lips. My fingers dig into the muscles of his arms as my internal muscles tighten around him. I can feel the tension spreading through my core. “Ethan!” I sob his name as I come apart.
He holds my gaze and continues to move, sending shockwaves through me. “Lindsay, I could look at you forever.”
His words throw me into a frenzy of emotions, and I have to choke back tears. He couldn’t possibly mean any of it. Forever implies an actual relationship. He must have uttered the words in the heat of passion. I continue to stare into his eyes as he shudders his release, letting out a loud groan. I can feel him still pulsing inside of me. I wouldn’t mind if he remained there for the rest of our lives. Our ragged breaths fill the room.
“I’m crushing you,” Ethan murmurs. I shake my head, no, but he gets up anyway. “Where’s the bathroom?” I point to a closed door and watch him move towards it. I lay on the couch, a sated puddle of immobile limbs. When Ethan disappears behind the door, alarm pricks me. Is there any sign that a child lives here in the bathroom?
He doesn’t say anything when he emerges, so I relax a bit. Joining me on the couch, he stretches his much larger body alongside mine and pulls me to him. My head rests on his shoulder. It’s strange how relaxed I feel laying down with him. “I’m sorry for rushing things, Lindsay. I had intended to take my time pleasing you.”
“It was amazing,” I murmur, my voice slurring with exhaustion.
“Really? I’m glad.”
I chuckle at the hint of male satisfaction in his tone. I’m dangerously close to drifting off to sleep. I should tell Ethan to leave. But it feels so damn good lying down like this with him. I’d better not get used to it. He’s going to leave after Amanda’s wedding, and I probably won’t see him again for another three years, if not longer.
Chapter Nine
Ethan
My eyes open. My unfamiliar surroundings momentarily disorient me. The slight weight of the warm body sprawled on top of me brings back my memory. A smile spreads across my face. This is the first time I have woken up with a woman and not feared the awkwardness that will follow. Needless to say, I’m immensely happy to wake up with Lindsay in my arms: a bit cramped from spending the night on her couch, but pleased. I glance down to find her still fast asleep.
Her curtain of black hair fans out across my chest. Her head is slightly upturned so that I have full visual of her face. I study her flawless, creamy skin, pert nose and full lips swollen from my kisses. Her long lashes rest against her cheeks. She looks so relaxed and innocent. My heart stirs with an emotion that I’m much too afraid to analyze at the moment.
I make an attempt to move and can’t help the groan that rumbles in my chest. How did we end up spending the entire night on the couch anyway? Lindsay stirs, her soft skin sliding over mine and I groan again, this time because of arousal. I can already feel myself hardening. She freezes, no doubt feeling my cock poking at her. Her head snaps up, blue eyes clashing with mine, swimming with confusion and then shock.
“Ethan, what are you- oh, God.” She springs up, nearly stumbling to the floor.
I swiftly reach out to steady her. “Hey, careful.” Hopefully she doesn’t hear the amusement in my voice. My amusement fades, however, when I see the look of horror on her face.
“Lindsay, what’s wrong?”
She snatches up her shirt to hold against her front. “You spent the night.”
“Yeah. You fell asleep and then I fell asleep. I didn’t think you would mind if I stayed.”
“I do mind. You should have left.” Agitation radiates from her as she shoves her fingers through her mass of curls.
Standing up, I reach for her, cupping her face and forcing her to look at me. “You’re near panic. Calm down, Lindsay. So I spent the night. It's no big deal.”
“I-it is.”
I frown. “Why?”
She wrenches her face out of my hands. “You’re leaving in a few days. We shouldn’t have done this,” she adds, waving her hands.
My frustration mounts. With a sigh, I reach for my clothes and begin to dress. “You told me there would be no regrets.”
Lindsay pauses in the middle of pulling up her pants to look at me. “Don’t get me wrong, Ethan. I don’t regret having sex with you. I meant that you shouldn’t have spent the night. We shouldn’t get too close- complicate things. Plus, I have a child.”
My head snaps up, and I forget all about buttoning my shirt. My heart stills. “You have a child?” She seems almost as shocked by her declaration as I am.
“Yes, a daughter. That’s why you should just stay away from me. I know you don’t want a woman with a child or a woman who lives in a crappy apartment, who works at a diner.”
Realizing that I’m gaping with my mouth open, I snap it shut. “You’re with someone?” The pain that pierces my heart is almost overwhelming. Of course she has someone. A beautiful woman like Lindsay would surely attract men’s attention.
“I just told you I have a child and that I’m way beneath you, and you ask if I have a boyfriend?”
My jaw clenches. “Because that’s all I care about. The fact that you have a daughter doesn’t stop me from wanting you. And what the hell do you mean beneath me? The only time you were beneath me was last night. And as I recall, we both liked it.”
I’m satisfied to see a blush spread across her face. “You know what I mean,” she bites out. Her shoulders sag. Her defeated expression tugs at my heart. “I didn’t go to art school, Ethan. I didn’t become anything. I stayed here in this small town and worked a minimum wage job. I still do. You’re a big star. You’re rich, successful. What would a guy like you want with me?”
What I hear from Lindsay is unbelievabl
e. Taking hold of her chin, I force her to meet my gaze. “I thought you knew me well enough to know that I wouldn’t care about such trivial things. I want you, Lindsay. I don’t care what kind of job you do. I’m sad to discover that you didn’t go to art school, though. You had your heart set on it.”
She shrugs. “It just didn’t work out.”
“Don’t think you’re anything less than amazing because your life didn’t go the way you planned.” I sigh. “I believe the real question is what a great girl like you would want with someone holding my reputation.”
Lindsay lets out a laugh. “Well, I have read quite a few things.”
I groan, but smile, and the mood instantly lightens. But there is one more question hovering in my mind. I clear my throat lightly. “Um, is your daughter’s father in your life? I mean, are you and him- Do you-”
“I’m still single. I wouldn’t have slept with you if I wasn’t.”
Feeling ridiculously relieved, I nod. “Right. What’s your daughter’s name?”
“Casey.” There is evident love in her tone when she mentions her daughter’s name.
“Casey,” I repeat. “I would love to meet her.”
Lindsay’s eyes widen. “That’s not a good idea. You really should go, Ethan. I would offer you breakfast, but I have to pick up Casey from my mom’s.”
“How about I drive you to your mom’s, and I take you and Casey out for breakfast?”
“No! I- I mean, thanks, but no. I have a lot to do today. You know how it is when you get one day off.”
She’s pushing me toward the door as she speaks. “Okay, dinner then. I’ll take you both out for dinner.”
Lindsay sighs. “I’m not comfortable with you meeting her yet.”
I stare at her for a moment. “Alright, I respect that. What do you say about just you and me, then?”
“If my mom can babysit, maybe.”
“Good enough for me.” Before I can lean down to give her a kiss, she’s closed the door. “Goodbye to you, too,” I say to the closed door. I turn and let out a sigh. I’ve practically been kicked out of her apartment. No woman has ever rushed me off after a night of passion. “Well, this is a first.” I’m usually the one trying to get rid of a woman in the morning.