by A. E. Murphy
“Your own knight in shining armour?”
I nod. “I guess so.”
“And you fell in love?”
“No.” I shake my head and gaze at the floor. “He fell in love.”
“But you love him?”
“Yes, but…”
“Not as much as Caleb.” She finishes for me.
I agree. “Exactly.” And how guilty I feel for feeling that way. It eats at me.
She moves in front of me and gives me a shake by my shoulders. “You’ll get there. You’re still grieving. Just… don’t tell Nathan that, not yet.”
I let out a soft laugh. It’s not one of humour; it’s one of disbelief at my own situation. “He already knows. He loves me so much he’ll take whatever it is he can get.”
Her mouth drops open. “Wow.”
“Yep.” I pop the P. “I don’t deserve him.”
“But you have him, so you better try your best to give him what you think he deserves.” And don’t I know it. “Does Nathan know the guilt you feel over Caleb’s death?”
“No, nobody does.”
“You should tell him.”
“It’s not his burden,” I mumble, wiping at my eyes. “I can deal with it.”
“Can you?” The look she gives me is one of sympathy and concern.
Can I? That’s a good question. One I don’t have an answer for. “I’ve done okay so far.”
******
Eric, forever beautiful and casual, kisses me on greeting. His face falls instantly when I don’t kiss him back. He knows; I can tell by the silence as we climb in the car and pull away.
“We’ll go to mine,” he states.
“But…”
“I have something for you.” An excited smile spreads across his face and my heart plummets further. I keep my face calm, hoping he won’t notice. He doesn’t seem to.
When we make it to his, I notice another car outside. I’m sure it’s his mum’s. My memory is terrible though, so I could be wrong.
“Come on,” he urges, waiting for me by the gate that opens into his front garden.
He takes my hand and I follow him inside. I’m instantly greeted by the smell of garlic and beef. It smells divine. “Sorry.” Well at least if his mum is here he probably won’t try to kiss me.
I should have just told him in the car. Why didn’t I tell him in the car?
I should have told him way before we got in the car… this is going to be awkward and uncomfortable.
“Guinevere!” Kara shouts, wrapping her arms around my ribs.
I look down at the beautiful nine year old. “Hey there sweetie.”
“Kara,” Eric warns and she immediately moves away. I throw him a chastising look and wait for him to lead me into the room.
His mum, whose name escapes me, shouts hello from the kitchen.
“I thought she’d be done by now,” he mutters, scratching his head and wincing slightly. “I’m sorry. I was going to surprise you with dinner that she made and claim that I made it.”
This makes me throw my head back and laugh. “Why would you do that?”
“Because you’re an amazing cook and I’m crap.” His cheeks pink slightly.
“Sorry sweetie, but you didn’t have any salt or lemon juice in. I had to nip to the shop.” She explains through the wall.
I start laughing again. “Don’t be mean. My mum would never go to all of this trouble for me.”
He leans in and whispers, “She probably wouldn’t if she wasn’t obsessed with the thought of me settling down and falling in love.”
“I like your hair,” Kara says randomly, saving me from responding, her wide eyes on me.
“Oh, thank you.”
“Can I play with it?”
“Kara,” Eric hisses.
“Sure.” What harm could it do?
Eric mouths a “sorry” as Kara climbs onto the couch behind me and starts braiding my hair. Or at least that’s what it feels like she’s doing.
“Okay,” Eric’s mum calls and finally exits the kitchen, smiling at me broadly. “Come on Kara. Time to go.”
“Aww, aren’t we staying?” Kara whines, glaring at her brother. “You never let me stay.”
Eric blinks and says flatly, “You always stay. It’s freaking annoying.”
His mum leans down and kisses his cheek. I stand and follow them to the door. “Thank you for making dinner.”
“No problem dear.” Her voice is warm and friendly. “I hope you enjoy it. If you don’t, let’s stick with the original plan and say that he made it.”
Laughing, I step into the front yard and watch Kara open the gate.
A gasp escapes me as what happens next happens in slow motion. Kara’s shoelace gets caught at the bottom of the metal gate; her foot snags, causing her to hop on the other foot. It’s not enough, she starts to fall forward and pulls the gate with her. It tries to close on her leg making her cry out and attempt to protect the wrong part of her body.
Her face smashes on the ground and everybody stops breathing. The poor girl emits a shriek of pain and we all race forward. I quickly unhook the shoelace as Eric and his mum inspect the girl.
The first thing I see is blood, the next thing I see is her nose bent at an odd angle and damaged skin on her cheek. “Oh my god.” After my few seconds of panic, I grab Eric’s arm. “We need to take her to the hospital.”
Nobody says anything. They don’t know what to say. Eric picks up his baby sister and rushes her to his car as I race inside and grab clean towels and a bottle of water. I lock up and climb into the front as his mum sits in the back with the young girl.
“Here.” I hand the towel and water to her.
Eric, his lips a thin line and his eyes tight, turns on the ignition and drives. I place my hand on his and give it a squeeze when he winces at the sound of Kara’s screams of pain.
“It’s okay, sweetie.” Suddenly a bag is dropped onto my lap. “Can you dig in there and pull out my phone? I have blood on my hands. Her dad needs to know.” Yet another family member I’m going to meet. I don’t care about that right now though. “Just text him; he’s under V for Vinnie.”
I do as I’m told, keeping the phone on my lap just in case he responds. Oh crap. I left my phone at Eric’s.
“How are you doing sis?” Eric asks, reaching behind him with one hand. He gives her knee a gentle squeeze as she sniffles and cries on her mum’s shoulder.
“She’s okay, aren’t you? You’re being very brave,” I say to her, my heart clenching when I see tears fall from her eyes and spill over her cheeks. One of them is swelling at an alarming rate. The tears must sting the grazes on her beautiful porcelain skin.
She tries to give me a weak smile but fails when her lips tremble.
Eric, looking a little less worried, takes my hand in his and brings it to his lips. I’m completely screwed.
None of that matters though. Right now all that matters is Kara.
“Do you mind if I use your phone?” I ask Eric when we pull up outside of the hospital. “I need to call my mum and tell her to pick up Dillan.”
He blanches and curses under his breath, “Shit, I’m sorry. I should have…”
“Hey,” I cut him off and place my hand on his arm. “Kara is at the top of the list right now. I’m not leaving until I know she’s okay. Okay?”
He nods and hands me his phone before lifting his little sister from the back seat of the car. His mum climbs out shortly after as I send a quick text to my mum. I try my hardest to pull Nathan’s number from memory, but fail. I knew his old one, still do, but haven’t bothered to memorise his new one. Darn. He’s not going to be happy.
Although it’s not like he can blame me for this. He would do the same… I think.
We’re led straight through to accident and emergency. Nurses and doctors flock to us, so I remain in the waiting area whilst Eric and his mum deal with the private stuff, questions, allergies etc. I’ll go in when that part’s done.
> The waiting room is near full, all but two of the seats taken. I don’t take one; I can’t relax right now.
Besides, the two seats available are in between four very sick looking people. I think I’ll pass.
I’m pacing for about thirty minutes before Eric comes back out and folds his arms around me. “You should go.”
“What?”
He looks down at my face. “You have Dillan.”
“He’s fine; Mum’s sorting him. I’m not leaving until I know she’s okay and until I know you’re okay.”
I notice his eyes flash with relief as he smiles gratefully. “Thank you. She’s… her nose is broken. There’s not much they can do other than push it back and set it with some tape. She’s had painkillers and they’ve cleaned her face and stopped the bleeding.”
“See? She’ll be fine,” I say, placing my cheek to his chest.
He rocks us slightly as we stand by the doors in the waiting area. It takes him a while, but he finally releases me and takes my hand. “Let’s go and see her.”
“Should we go to the gift shop first? She deserves a pink helium balloon.”
“Good point. We’ll go later. My mum is barely holding it together.”
I nod and follow him through a set of double doors and into a long corridor, full of curtain covered sections. We make for the eighth on the right and slide ourselves between the edge of the curtain and the wall.
“They’re realigning the nasal bones or something,” their mum says, looking haggard and nervous. A mother’s love always shows on her face. “She has to have an injection of anaesthetic to numb it first.”
Kara, looking bruised, rough and tired, as is expected, gives me a weak smile before closing her eyes.
“Poor baby,” I mutter. “I’m so sorry this happened to her.”
Eric sits on the chair by the bed and reaches out to hold his sister’s hand. Kara, whose eye is swelling shut by the minute, starts dozing off.
“You two go,” Eric’s mum says tiredly.
“Mum…”
“Go, she’ll be fine and her dad will be here soon.” The entire time she speaks, her eyes never leave her daughter.
Is this what I’ll be like when Dillan has accidents? It looks awful. I can only imagine how it feels.
“I’ll take Gwen home and then I’ll be back,” Eric states, standing once more.
His mum glances our way and gives me a small smile. “Thanks for being here, Guinevere.”
I only nod and give her shoulder a squeeze. “I won’t leave until Eric says so.”
Eric laces his fingers with mine. “I say so now. Come on.”
I don’t want to leave them; I think I’ve been slightly traumatised by the accident and I was only a spectator. “I feel bad, leaving you.”
He cups my face with one hand. “It’s fine; I swear. I’ll call you in the morning.”
We leave quietly and drive home in silence. It’s not until we pull up into my driveway that he finally speaks. “Thank you for coming today. I’m sorry we didn’t get a chance to eat or talk.”
“Me too.” I unbuckle my belt and reach for the door.
“Wait.” His tired, solemn eyes come to mine. Using his hand in the front of my shirt, he pulls me towards him and presses his lips to mine. I kiss him back for a moment. I don’t have the willpower to say no to him right now. Unfortunately, my reciprocation only spurs him to kiss me deeper.
When he finally releases me, I lick my swollen lips and open the door.
“I’ll call you tomorrow.”
“Okay.” I give him a wave and make my way to my front door. My eyes remain on the ground so when I look up, seeing Nathan stood in the doorway, a blank look on his face and his arms folded across his chest, it shocks the hell out of me. “Hey.” I say this cautiously as he moves back and allows me entry into my home.
Did he see? Of course he saw. This is just great.
“Hi,” he says back, no anger, no disappointment, just a normal Nathan kind of hi. This worries me.
“What are you doing here? Where’s Dillan and my mum?”
“Dillan is happily playing on the mat in the room; your mum left about forty minutes ago after calling me.” He places his hand on the small of my back and leads me into the room.
“I should make dinner,” I tell him, still watching him warily. “Are you hungry?”
He nods. “Very.”
“Let me just say hello to Dillan and I’ll make us something.”
“Great.” He follows me into the room and sits as I pick up Dillan and attempt to make him smile. “How was work?”
“Tiring,” I state, placing Dillan back on the play mat.
Nathan walks towards me and helps me up off the ground. He starts moving me backwards, his eyes locked on mine.
“I thought you were hungry?” I ask breathlessly as my back collides with the wall.
“I am.” He grins wickedly and his mouth descends on mine.
As his tongue coaxes open my lips, I melt into him and my hands go straight to his thick hair.
“Remember that day in my house?” He suddenly says, breaking the kiss.
“I remember a lot of days.”
He smiles, closing his eyes as he grinds into me. “The day you gave me the journal.”
Memories resurface and I find myself blushing and stammering. “I… remember that day.” Nervously tucking my hair behind my ear, I ignore the heating in my cheeks and press on. “What about it?”
“I want to do that again.” He admits, his pupils fully dilating.
His eyes look black. I’m sure mine mirror them. “Okay.”
“But without clothes this time.”
Gulp. Nod. “Okay.”
With that, he bends slightly, grabs my thighs and lifts me until my legs are around his waist. Shiver.
My fingertips smooth over his lips as I lean back on the wall in an attempt to get a better angle with my hips. I shamelessly move against him, trying to get his length to rub me on my core. Pushing me up his hips a fraction, he spins, making me squeal and grab his shoulders for balance. Moments later we start ascending the stairs.
“Dillan,” I say, not wanting to leave him on his own.
Nathan nods and races down the stairs. He returns moments later with Dillan and places him in his cot. In this time I’ve already managed to strip down to my bra and knickers.
Nathan’s eyes drink me in as I move towards him and reach for his shirt. He doesn’t let me. Instead he folds his arms around me and works at the clasp of my bra.
“Let me,” I say, shuddering as his lips tease and suckle on my neck. His hands cup my breasts and his thumbs roll over the nipples. I reach for his shirt again, but he pushes my hands away. “Please.”
He ignores me and silences me with his lips on mine.
Oh god.
“Nathan,” I pant against his lips, trying to reach for his shirt but failing miserably. Growl. “Will you just…” I’m spun and pushed face first onto the bed, my knees still on the ground.
Strong hands grip my sides, the thumbs moving in slow circles along my back. “You had really bad back ache that day.”
“Yeah.” I remember it well.
“I told you to relax,” he says quietly. “I moved your top up your back.” He moves his thumbs up the sides of my spine. “And I stroked your skin like this.” His fingertips slide down my back, occasionally lifting and overlapping the invisible trails left behind. They dig into the base of my spine and I don’t bother to bite back the moan. That feels good. “You told me not to stop.” One of his hands leaves me, but the other continues working its magic. “I still remember the exact moment this.” He smoothes his hand over the curve of my soft globes. “Connected with this.” To make his point further, he pushes his hips into me. I move back, wanting to feel more. “Do you remember what happened next?”
I do. Oh god, I really do. “You told me I had flawless skin.”
Soft and gentle fingers tease my ribs. “You
do.”
“You kept rubbing my lower back and dragging your fingers across my skin,” I mutter in an almost trancelike state. “You asked me what I’d done in town. And we kept talking, even as you rubbed against me.” He does it again. “I could feel you getting harder.”
“Like now?” He whispers, pulling my knickers down to my knees after grinding himself into me once more.
“Yes.”
His leather clad thumb presses over the swollen lips that hide my clit. He circles slowly and gently, driving me insane. Heat pools in my belly and a delicious tingling spreads through my limbs. I ache to be filled.
Fortunately I don’t have to wait long. I hear a foil wrapper tear moments before he’s at my entrance.
His hands continue to stroke my back as he sinks in slowly and gently, going in a fraction of a centimetre before pulling back and then doing the same again.
I’ve never felt such a sweet torture.
“Nathan.” I moan his name and push back against him.
The head finally pops in; I feel the stretching and immediately clench down. The gasp he releases makes me do somersaults inside. There’s nothing sexier than a man moaning during sex.
Another thought occurs; I’m having sex with Nathan… again. Wow.
Nathan seems to have the same thought about me because he reaches out and knocks the photo of Caleb off my bedside table. I should be angry, but right now I’m not anything but horny.
“Don’t do this to me,” I whimper as he continues only allowing the head entry. Whenever I push back, he moves backwards with me.
He chuckles, his hand going to my hip as the other slides up to my hair. I wince when he takes a large handful of my brown waves and pulls tight. “Ready?”
“Yes,” I half shout in faux aggravation.
He slams home, his hand in my hair and the hand at my hip holding me steady. I’m expecting him to meet my cervix, he’s definitely long enough. Hell, he could probably meet my cervix and still have a couple of inches outside. Abnormally large is the only way to describe his beautiful penis. No, not penis… cock. A crude word, but the only word that fits his manhood.
I reach down with my fingers as he slowly glides in and out, only allowing himself so much entry. My fingertips glide over my sensitive nub and reach for my entrance. I feel the underside of his cock and notice immediately that he’s not pushing in further than the condom.