Sins of Sevin

by Penelope Ward

“No, you’re definitely not most girls.”

  “Are you being facetious?”

  “No. It’s not every day you meet a girl with dirt on her face that knows a thing or two about cars.”

  “Dirt?”

  “You should see yourself. Go look in my mirror.”

  She put the kickstand down and walked over to the truck. Leaning into the driver-side mirror to examine her face, she laughed. “You weren’t kidding.”

  I stood behind her, staring at her reflection. “You’re a mess.”

  Truth was, even with filth on her face, this girl was so amazingly beautiful that my heart was palpitating.

  She brushed her fingers along her cheeks then straightened her back suddenly and accidentally knocked right into me. I hadn’t been paying attention to anything but her face in the mirror and had gotten too close.

  “Sorry,” she said.

  “That was my fault. Let me…get you something to clean your face.”

  Reaching into the open window of my front seat, I grabbed a piece of paper towel and wet it with some water from my bottle. “Here.”

  “Thanks.” As she wiped her cheeks, she looked down and said, “Oh no.”

  “What?”

  “There’s blood seeping through my skirt. I think I cut my knee.”

  “Let me see.”

  She backed away. “No. I can’t let you.”

  “Oh. I’m sorry. I was just trying to help. I didn’t mean anything by it.”

  “I know you didn’t. It’s just…I’m not allowed to—”

  Holding up my palms, I said, “I get it.”

  A car started to approach. I nudged my head toward the grass on the side of the road. “Let’s get out of the way. Go over there and check your leg. Make sure it’s okay.”

  She walked to a grassy area several feet away and lifted her long skirt with her back toward me. She yelled over to me, “Can I have a clean paper towel with some water?”

  “Yeah…yeah, of course.” I fumbled through my truck for the items, unable to figure out why I was suddenly on edge and nervous. Wetting the paper towel, I walked over to where she was now sitting down on the grass.

  “Thanks.” She took the paper towel and stuck it under her skirt to clean the wound.

  “Are you alright?”

  “Yeah. It’s just a scrape. I’ll put some antibiotic on it when I get home later.”

  When she stood up, there was an awkward silence as we just looked at each other. I could sense that I was making her nervous, yet there was something unspoken between us that kept her from running back to that bike.

  Suddenly, it was like a light switch went off inside of her. “I have to go.”

  “Alright.” I stood frozen in the same spot just watching her leave.

  As she hopped on her bike and started to pedal away, I got in my truck and attempted to start it. I kept turning the ignition over and over, and nothing was happening. It was embarrassing because the girl was still within earshot. She’d called it a clunker, and I’d defended it. Now, this was proving what a piece of shit the truck really was—classic or not.

  I heard her voice behind me. “Has this ever happened before?”

  She came back.

  “No. It’s always started for me.”

  She walked around to the front of the truck. “Lift the hood.”

  “I was going to do that myself. You don—”

  “Open it up.”

  I couldn’t help laughing at her persistence. “Yes, ma’am.”

  I was pretty good with cars but intentionally let her have at it, watching it all unfold like a show.

  I could see she was checking the fuel pump.

  “It’s not the fuel pump,” she said.

  I stuck my hands in my pockets, amazed at her knowledge. “Alright.”

  After a few minutes, she said, “I just checked the butterfly valves on the carburetor. That’s not the issue, either.”

  Where the hell did this girl come from?

  If she were smart, she’d check the electrical. I decided to test her. “What will you be looking at next?”

  “The plug wires.”

  Good girl. Wow.

  A couple of minutes later, she turned around with grease on her face. “Two of them came loose. It must have happened from the vibration on the highway. That’s why the truck won’t start now. Stopping it was a big mistake.”

  Actually…I was thinking that stopping the truck was the best decision I made all day.

  I couldn’t contain my smile. “What are you gonna do next?”

  “Reconnect them.”

  I watched every movement of her hands until the wires were connected.

  “All set. You should be good to go. Wanna test it?”

  “I trust you.” Truth was, I didn’t want to get in the car and leave just yet. Instead, I stalled. “Where did you learn to do all this?”

  “It’s kind of a secret.”

  We both leaned against the truck.

  She flinched when I lifted my hand to her face and swiped my finger along her cheek. “You had a ton of grease right there,” I said.

  “Oh…thank you.”

  “So, what do you mean…a secret?”

  “I have this friend, Adelaide. She owns a car repair shop. I was actually going to visit her when I passed you on the road.”

  “She taught you how to fix cars?”

  “Yeah. My parents…they don’t like me going over there at all. They think I’m going to visit another friend when really, I go see Adelaide and hang out with her and the other mechanics. They all taught me everything I know.”

  “Why don’t your folks like you hanging out there?”

  “It’s kind of a long story.”

  “I have time. Let’s go sit on the grass.”

  What was I doing? I was so late in getting to Elle’s. But I wasn’t ready to leave this girl. She fascinated me. We both sat down, and she started to open up.

  “My parents just don’t think that Adelaide shares the same values as they do. And they don’t think that fixing cars is a suitable career for a woman.”

  “I think it’s badass.”

  “Me, too.”

  “How old are you, anyway?”

  “Twenty,” she said. “How old are you?”

  “We’re the same age. I’ll be twenty-one in a week, though.”

  “Happy birthday.”

  “Thanks.” I picked at the grass. “Thank you for fixing my truck and for trusting me with your secret.”

  “Well, we’ve known each other for like…a whole forty-five minutes, after all.” We both laughed. Her smile lit up her entire face and when it faded, it was like the sun going down. She continued, “So, anyway, I feel really badly about lying to my parents, but I just feel like they’re wrong, you know?”

  “What they don’t know won’t hurt them. You’re not hurting anyone by doing what you love and being around people that make you happy.”

  “Adelaide and her friends…they’re good people.”

  “I have no doubt. Your parents sound unreasonable, kind of like my stepmother. You’re not doing anything wrong. Don’t ever believe that.”

  “That’s what I try to tell myself. I just hate keeping secrets.”

  “Everyone has secrets.”

  “Tell me one of yours.” Her words were abrupt and caught me off guard. Her eyes were searing into mine with a patient curiosity.

  I’m heading to the house of the girl I’m going to marry. I’m supposed to be starting a new life right now, but all I want to do is stay here on the dirt and talk to you until darkness falls. How’s that for a secret?

  I definitely couldn’t tell her that. And let’s face it; we could have had a field day with the possible answers to her question. My life was a smorgasbord of inappropriate and bad things kept secret.

  “Hmm…gosh, I don’t even know where to begin.” I chuckled and looked up at the sky, thinking long and hard about what to tell her. “Okay. So�
��since I was about thirteen, I’ve been drawing these pictures.”

  “Pictures?”

  “Yeah…um…” I hesitated. “Pictures of women. Not distasteful. They’re just drawings of the female form.”

  Her face turned red. “They’re…naked?”

  “Yeah. You think I’m a big pervert now?”

  She burst out laughing. “No, I didn’t say that. I guess it would just depend on the context.”

  Over the next several minutes, I told her the story of finding the sketch of my mother and how the drawing all started.

  “That’s more like art,” she said.

  “Exactly. But I still had to hide it because my stepmother would have kicked me out of the house or gotten me exorcised or something,” I joked. “So, anyway…see? We all have secrets.”

  Her reaction made me feel relieved, like I wasn’t crazy. Still, I’d never told anyone about my hobby or how it started.

  “Thank you for sharing that with me.”

  “Well, you make me want to share things with you for some reason. I don’t know. You seem…familiar to me or something. I’m not used to this.”

  “Yeah. Me, neither. Actually, I’m not even allowed to be talking to guys unless they come preapproved.”

  “Well, I won’t tell anyone if you won’t.”

  “Okay.” The smile on her face was so beautiful it hurt. When the sunlight caught the gold speckles in the brown of her eyes, I had to look away to grab my bearings.

  I never even asked her name. But what’s the point? I needed to leave.

  I just want to know her name.

  Then, I’ll leave.

  “We know each other’s secrets, but we haven’t even exchanged names. What’s yours?”

  She hesitated then said, “Sienna.”

  “Sienna? That’s nice.”

  “Thank you. What’s yours?”

  “Sevin.”

  The color seemed to drain from her face. “What did you say?”

  “Sevin. I know. It’s like the number, but it’s spelled like Kevin with an S. My mother was unconventional, and she had the name picked out before I was even born. I—”

  Sienna suddenly got up and straightened her skirt. “I have to go.”

  What?

  “Did I say something wrong?”

  “No. No, no. I just realized it’s getting really late. I have to go before it gets too dark to ride home.”

  “Alright, well, it wa—”

  She wouldn’t even let me finish. My heart was pounding as she ran to her bike.

  I shouted, “Sienna…wait!”

  She waved frantically and took off like a bat out of hell. “Bye!”

  I didn’t know why it was so hard to let this girl go. It made no sense. But clearly, something freaked her out. I stood dazed, watching her long, black hair flailing in the wind until she disappeared.

  As I continued my drive down the dirt road, I wondered if my tired mind had imagined her.

  CHAPTER 5

  EVANGELINE

  By the end of the two-mile ride, my throat felt raw from gasping for air. Consumed by shock and humiliation, I had cried all the way to Adelaide’s with tears streaming down my face.

  Slamming the door behind me, it seemed impossible to catch my breath.

  “Oh my word, Vangie. What on Earth has happened to you?” Adelaide had been cooking her famous beer and lentil soup on the stove and dropped the spoon down on the counter to rush toward me.

  I shook my head repeatedly, unable to stop crying long enough to form words.

  “Did someone hurt you?”

  Wiping my nose on my sleeve, I shrieked, “No.”

  “Come here.”

  In Adelaide’s arms, I let the remaining tears empty from me until I could find my voice again. As always, she smelled like a mixture of motor oil and patchouli.

  “Sit down. I’m gonna make you some hot tea, and you’re gonna tell me everything. Alright? Everything.”

  Adelaide handed me the steaming hot cup of jasmine, and I took a sip. When I finally calmed down, I said, “I don’t even know where to begin.”

  “Take your time.”

  “I was on my way here. I would have gotten here like an hour and a half ago, but I ran into this guy on the road.”

  She wrinkled her forehead. “Guy?”

  “Yes.”

  “Alright…”

  “I’d fallen off my bike, and he got out to help me. The second I laid eyes on him…it was just…something was there. He was so handsome. It was more than that, though. But God, he was…you know me…I don’t find anyone attractive.”

  “I know. You rarely mention the opposite sex. I was starting to wonder if you were one of my kind. Just kidding, Vangie, but you know what I mean.”

  “Yes. I do. He was definitely great-looking, tall, black hair, mysterious eyes, big masculine hands. But see…it wasn’t just his looks. It was more the way he looked at me, like he saw inside of me or something. There was a connection. It was indescribable. It was just this…”

  “Chemistry.” Adelaide nodded in understanding.

  “Yes.”

  “Sometimes you can’t really explain chemistry. It’s just there from the get go. Keep talking. I’m just gonna go stir the soup,” she said, walking over to the stove.

  “Yeah. That’s what it felt like, just this invisible charge or energy in the air. Anyway…at first, I didn’t know how to handle what I was feeling. I just freaked out and left on my bike. But I could hear behind me that his truck wouldn’t start, so I turned back around to help. You would have been so proud of me. I figured out what was wrong with it!”

  “Son of a gun. Really?”

  “It was one of those old Ford 100s with a flat V-8 engine? Two of the plug head wires came loose, so I reconnected them.”

  “That’s my girl. Proud of ya, honey.”

  “Thanks. Anyway…after that…we talked for a while, got into some personal stuff, but we hadn’t even exchanged names. He finally asked me for mine, and I told him it was Sienna.”

  “Sienna? Now, why would you go and do that?”

  “You know I’ve never liked my name, Addy. I just wanted something pretty. And I honestly assumed I’d never see him again.”

  “I never understood why you feel that way about your name. Anyway…go on.”

  “He told me his name, too.”

  “What was it?”

  Swallowing hard, I closed my eyes and said the word as it if were painful, “It was Sevin.”

  “Sevin…” Adelaide covered her mouth when she figured it out. “Sevin? THE Sevin? The guy who’s coming here to court Elle? The guy who’s moving onto your family’s property? THAT guy? Oh no.”

  “Oh yes.”

  “Oh shit.”

  “I know.” I buried my head in my hands and spoke through them, my voice muffled, “I know! I’m mortified.”

  “That’s some crap luck and timing. Had you never seen a picture of him?”

  “No. Elle never showed me an actual photo. She described him, but he was nothing like I pictured. She made him sound like a saint. But the guy I met was a little rougher around the edges. It was almost as though maybe she’d painted whatever picture she wanted to of him. I mean, they talk on the phone every day, and she’s head over heels, but he was nothing like I imagined. He’s not straight-laced at all, let’s put it that way. He had this aura about him.”

  “Did you tell him who you were?”

  “No. He still has no clue! That’s the problem. As soon as he said his name was Sevin and I put two and two together, I got up and said I had to leave. I came straight here. I wasn’t looking forward to him moving in before this, but can you imagine how I feel now? I can’t go back there! I can’t face him.”

  “You have to.”

  “I know.” I stared down into my tea for a while then said, “He touched my face.”

  “What?”

  “I had some grease. It was innocent. He rubbed it off with his
finger. But when he touched me, it was like I felt it throughout my entire body. One simple touch. I’m so embarrassed.”

  “Don’t be. That’s a natural reaction to physical attraction.”

  “But I can’t be physically attracted to my sister’s soon-to-be husband.”

  “You didn’t know, Vangie. It was an innocent mistake.”

  “I know, but how am I going to undo it now?”

  “You may not be able to. You just have to be strong, accept this as one of life’s freakish coincidences and face it head first.”

  “I’m so caught up in my own damn problem, I didn’t even ask you how Lorraine is.”

  “Oh, honey, don’t feel bad about that. She had a pretty crappy day, though. The meds are making her sick. But thank you for asking.”

  “Let me know if there’s anything I can do, okay? Maybe pick up some more of the slack around the shop so you can be with her longer during the day.”

  “I appreciate that, but Marty and Jermaine are doing a good job. I’ll let you know if things change. Tonight, though, you need to go home and face the music before it gets too dark to head back. You know I worry about you on that bike at night.”

  “Okay. I have no idea what I’m going to say or do.”

  “Don’t overthink it. Just deal with each moment as it comes. I’ll be here tomorrow if you need to talk again. And I’ll save you some soup for lunch.”

  “Thanks, Addy. I don’t know what I’d do without you.”

  “You won’t ever have to find out.”

  I rode toward our house as if in a race against time with the fading sunset. As I passed the same grassy knoll where Sevin and I sat, guilt crept in. It wasn’t because of what happened. I felt guilty because I knew that even if given the choice to go back and erase our moment in time, I wouldn’t have changed a thing.

  CHAPTER 6

  SEVIN

  When I pulled into the Sutton ranch, Lance, his wife, Olga, and Elle were all waiting for me on the farmer’s porch. The sun cast a bright orange glow around their massive house that sat up on a hill. A few grazing horses were scattered about. It was hard to believe that this vast property was my home now.

  Elle looked beautiful in a long, white dress with multi-colored flowers. She was beaming as she ran down the front steps toward me. It seemed strange not even being able to hug her after all this time. Lance’s rules had been made very clear: Elle and I couldn’t have any close physical contact until we were married. Since we were unofficially engaged, though, hand holding was allowed in a chaperoned environment.