by Leslie Gould
“Yeah. He said there’s a link—in my mind, anyway.”
“Oh,” Shani said.
“So could you call Karina?”
“Sure.”
“The sooner the better.”
She exhaled in relief. “I’ll give her a call.” Maybe Joel would get better.
Shani called, but no one answered. She left a message, hoping Karina would call back before Joel changed his mind. She did a few minutes later, and Shani explained Joel’s request.
Karina said she would love to meet Joel, and then said, “It just so happens I’m on my way to Eve’s. My in-laws volunteered to help fix your house, through their church. I asked if I could tag along.”
Touched, Shani said she’d speak with her in person in a few minutes. She quickly left Joel a message before she lost cell service, telling him Samuel’s parents were helping fix up the house, and Karina would be there too. Then she left Karina’s number and asked him to make the arrangements. A few minutes later Monika turned down the Lehmans’ driveway.
Karina and her in-laws had just arrived. Her mother-in-law held Samantha, who looked healthy and happy. They all made over Bub Belly, and then Karina reintroduced Shani and said, “We’d all like to meet with Joel. Is he at your house?”
Shani explained he was in Philly, knowing it sounded odd since she’d just had a baby. “I left him your number,” she said.
Shani headed into the living room with Bub, thinking about Samuel. Shani had both of her sons. And her husband was still alive.
She had a lot to be thankful for.
31
After the noon meal was served and cleaned up and the babies were down for their naps, Karina, Mrs. Johnson, and Eve started down the lane to see if they could help at the Becks’ house. Monika and Shani stayed behind to watch over the little ones.
Once the fire marshal said it was safe to enter the house and the professionals had come in and vacuumed up all the water, Eve had gathered all the Becks’ clothes and bedding and had been soaking it, washing it, and drying it all week. Thankfully it had been sunny.
As they reached the house, Eve watched the men working on the back porch and exterior kitchen wall, calling out to each other, sawing, nailing, and generally making a racket. Zane, Daniel, and Simon were helping—running for supplies, cleaning up as the men worked, and poking at each other as they usually did. Gideon and Tim were clearly in charge—Reuben was overseeing the lumberyard for the day.
Shani had asked Eve to check the messages on their landline, so once they entered the house Eve headed to the back bedroom. There were three. One from Zane’s school about classes being canceled after the ice storm. One from Shani’s boss who said she’d try her cell. And then one from Joel, left that morning, saying he hadn’t been able to reach Karina and if anyone happened to check the messages would they ask her to call him on his cell.
Eve went and got Karina and led her to the phone.
Then, slipping on a pair of rubber gloves, she began scrubbing the closest living room wall with a paint thinner solution to get rid of the soot. Karina returned, spoke quietly with her mother-in-law, and then they both joined Eve in washing the wall. Eve decided if they wanted her to know what was going on they’d tell her. She had no reason to ask.
Over and over Eve’s thoughts turned to Charlie. She hadn’t talked to him all week, but she’d been praying for him. She wasn’t sure what God was doing, but she did know she’d never loved anyone the way she loved him. Then her thoughts turned to the children. Trudy’s giggles that morning when she woke. Lila’s help to get everything ready. Simon’s bright smile, and Daniel’s hard work. Rose’s constant chatter.
When they reached the hallway, Eve and Karina continued down it, providing more privacy. Karina asked how Charlie was, and Eve said he had his first day back at drill, but that she hadn’t talked with him all week.
“Oh,” she said. “I was hoping you two had worked things out.”
Eve shook her head. “It was never like that—not really.” Her heart ached at the possibility of it.
“My bad,” Karina said. “I had this idea that maybe you’d move to Philly. I wanted you to know, if you needed a place to live, I’d love to have you stay with me.”
“That’s so kind of you,” Eve said. “But I can’t leave.” At least not yet. “And really, Charlie and I are only friends.”
Karina smiled. “You could have fooled me.”
Eve changed the subject to Samantha, asking about her health. The two chatted for quite a while until they were interrupted by someone calling out, “Hallo!”
It sounded like Charlie. Eve dropped her sponge into the bucket and headed toward the front door, wiping her hands on her apron. Charlie’s truck was parked in front of the house, and Shani’s van was next to it. Charlie stood by as Joel climbed down from the driver’s side. Charlie wore his Army uniform, a camouflage one, and tan-colored boots. He must have left drill early. Joel wore jeans and a coat and walked with his cane.
Gideon was striding toward them, followed by Tim. Eve stopped on the porch. She didn’t see Zane or her nephews. They’d probably gone down to their fort along the creek, which was a good thing. It would be better if Simon didn’t see Charlie in his uniform, especially not in front of Tim.
“Sorry about the uniform,” Charlie said to Gideon. “We decided to come straight here at the last moment. I didn’t have a chance to change.”
Gideon didn’t answer Charlie but extended his hand, first to Charlie and then to Joel. Tim followed the gesture, but afterward he looked Charlie up and down—from his cap to his boots—and frowned.
“Thank you so much,” Joel said. “For everything you’ve done.” He motioned toward the other men. “All of you.” He looked much better than he had the night of the fire.
Charlie spotted Eve on the porch and started toward her. “Is Karina around?”
She nodded. “In the house with Samuel’s mom.”
“What about his dad?”
Eve nodded toward the back porch. “He’s working with the men.”
Charlie found him, while Gideon walked with Joel up the ramp and Tim headed back to work. A few minutes later Samuel’s parents and Karina sat with Joel and Charlie in the living room on the smoky sheet-covered furniture.
“Thank you for meeting with me,” Joel said.
Eve stepped into the hall, retrieved the sponge from the bucket, and got back to work. She could imagine Joel was telling them about the night Samuel had died, what Charlie had told her, but it wasn’t her business to overhear what was being said. Eve prayed as she scrubbed. For Joel. For Karina and Samuel’s parents. For Shani and the boys. For Charlie. The movement of her arm helped her fight back her tears.
After Abra had died, several people told Eve it was God’s will and that good would come from it. She knew God had allowed it, and had no doubt that some kind of good would come from Abra’s death, that all of them who loved her—even Tim—would hopefully be more compassionate to others and loving toward each other. Actually, it had happened already—she’d seen it this week.
But it hadn’t been God’s original plan for Abra to suffer and die. And it hadn’t been his plan for Samuel to be killed on a road in Iraq either. It was his plan to walk with the survivors through it, though, to comfort them, to know their pain. How God did it, Eve couldn’t fathom, knowing all the hurts in the world and still bearing all of them.
After a while, Karina stepped into the hall. “We’re going back to your home so Joel can see Shani and the baby. And meet Samantha.”
“I’ll go too,” Eve said. “Trudy’s probably awake.”
She followed Karina into the living room. Samuel’s mom was hugging Joel and both were crying. So was Samuel’s dad, who stood with his hand on Joel’s shoulder. Eve had never seen a man cry before, not even Tim when Abra died. Karina stopped, but Eve continued on to the front porch, nearly bumping into Charlie.
“Sorry,” she said.
He turned to
ward her, his eyes red, and reached for her. She trailed her hand through his for a quick moment.
“I’ll see you at the house?” he whispered.
“Jah,” she answered. “Tell Karina I went on ahead. I’ll go through the field and check on the boys.”
She needed a moment to collect herself. Having Charlie near had lowered her guard—a dangerous thing with Gideon and Tim close by. She darted through the hedge and into the field. The warmth of the day was slipping away with the lowering sun. She crossed the field and then as she neared the creek, she called out, “Daniel? Simon?”
Someone darted through the brush along the creek.
“Zane!”
“Down here,” he called out.
She slipped down the pathway to the fort but stopped halfway. It was twice the size it had been last time she’d seen it. They’d used plywood and boards for the walls and roof and hay as thatch. A wide doorway allowed a glimpse inside, all the way to the creek. Either they hadn’t yet put a wall up on the other side or had chosen not to.
Rose stuck her head out of the doorway.
“What are you doing?” Eve asked.
“Playing.”
“Did you come by yourself?” Eve stopped at the doorway.
“No, with Lila and Jenny. Monika said it was okay.”
“Oh.” Eve stepped inside the fort. The floor seemed sturdy enough and the wall seemed secure. “Where are the other kids?”
Rose giggled.
Standing beside Zane, Lila waved from the other side of the creek. Jenny stood behind Lila, her eyes on Zane, as Simon soared over the creek on a rope.
Eve’s stomach lurched. “Come on,” she said, catching Simon by the waist as he neared her. “Let’s all go back to the house for a snack.”
On the way she lectured them about using common sense. “Do you know what would happen if Simon fell and hit his head again?”
“Aenti, I’m not going to do that.”
“You don’t know that. Another concussion could cause lasting damage.”
Simon made a face, but Zane said, “Sorry, Aenti. We stopped playing Roman soldiers and started playing Tarzan. There’s not as much fechta.”
Eve suppressed a laugh as Zane started to run and the others followed. He’d called her Aenti. And he thought playing Tarzan was better than playing Roman soldiers—not as much fighting. She thought of when she and Abra had watched an old movie about the ape-man, when they were on their Rumschpringe, and she guessed it was a better choice—as long as they didn’t dress for the parts.
By the time they reached the house Lila had nearly caught up with Zane. Eve loved that her niece still ran and played like a child. Soon enough, she’d be forced to act like a young lady. But at this moment, Lila appeared fearless.
Eve longed for that. She’d been afraid for too long. If she truly loved the Lord with all her heart, soul, and mind, if she truly loved her neighbor and loved herself, then it was time to stop living in fear.
Lord, help me, she silently prayed. Help me to trust you. Increasing her pace, she stepped out of the shadows of the poplar trees along the creek. The afternoon sun warmed her face as she followed the children through the field and back to the house.
The others trickled over from the Becks’ place. Charlie drove his truck and Joel drove the van over, with Karina and her mother-in-law riding along. Joel struggled up the stairs by himself, with Charlie close behind. Once they were in the living room, Charlie stood in the corner, away from the others. But even so, Simon looked up at him in awe. At least Tim wasn’t around.
Shani appeared calm as Joel picked up the baby from the couch where he’d been napping and sat down beside her. He held the Boppli for a while, and then held Samantha too, in his other arm. Karina snapped a photo of the three with a small camera but then seemed to realize what she was doing and gave Eve a sheepish look.
“It’s fine,” Eve said. Photos were one of the things she missed the most from the Englisch world.
Samantha began to fuss, and her mother took her back.
After Eve gathered Trudy from her crib, changed her diaper, and brought her into the living room, the baby squealed in delight when she saw Joel and lunged toward him. He took her, and she pulled on his ear and lip and then turned her attention to the baby, in Joel’s other arm, grabbing for his eye.
Eve scooped her up. “Show Joel how close you are to walking, little one,” she said, kneeling on the floor. The baby toddled toward Charlie instead, and he squatted, putting out his hands for her. She practically ran for a few steps, giggling, her fine hair blowing up and down, and then collapsed on the floor in a heap. Charlie scooped her up.
Smiling at the two, Eve rose to her feet—and looked up to see Monika in the doorway to the kitchen, an expression of concern on her face. She motioned for Eve to follow her. As the two stood next to the sink, she whispered, “This isn’t a passing thing is it?”
Eve shook her head. “Don’t worry though, I won’t leave. Tim would never let me see the children.”
Monika shook her head. “I have no idea what you should do, really. And I shouldn’t even be talking with you about this, but . . . Eve, you can’t let someone else—certainly not your brother—make the most important decision of your life.”
Eve clasped the edge of the counter.
“If you stay, it should be because that’s what God wants from you. But if God intends you to leave, I’ll take care of these children. And I’ll do everything I can to see that Tim doesn’t keep you out of their lives. You have my word.”
Eve swiped at her eyes with her free hand.
“You are worthy of love, Eve Lehman,” Monika said. “I hate to admit it, but I’ve been wrong all along about you and Gideon. It’s obvious there’s something special between you and Charlie. Don’t you ever tell a soul I encouraged you to leave, but . . . well, I guess that’s exactly what I’m telling you to do, if that’s how you feel led.”
Eve’s face grew warm. Tim and the children were the only family she had.
“You’re in a hard spot, jah,” Monika said. “You have my prayers—that’s for sure, prayers that you’ll find the kind of love I had with Deacon King.”
Eve turned as Charlie stepped into the kitchen with Trudy. His face reddened. “I’m sorry. I’ll take her back in the living room and let you two talk.”
“Actually, I need to speak with you,” Eve whispered. “Meet me outside in a minute.” Monika put out her hands for the baby and Charlie went back into the living room.
Eve grabbed her cape, walked into the living room, and said she was going to check on the older children, who’d gone back outside.
She found them playing along the fence. None of them acknowledged her. Lila ran to the buggy and climbed in. Zane followed, stepped up, and sat beside her. Where were they going in their play? Off to church? Walmart? The bank? An African jungle? Eve’s heart hurt. If only life could stay so simple.
Monika said she would take care of Abra’s children, and Eve believed she would. She thought of the quilt that she’d given Shani. Abra had made it with love, saying she’d prayed over every stitch, asking God for the right husband for Eve. She’d wanted Eve to marry. To have a family of her own. She’d said so in the note.
But Eve had given away her right to be happy all those years ago. How could she now claim something she didn’t deserve?
She remembered Leona’s words as they’d visited in her kitchen: “For by grace are ye saved through faith; and that not of yourselves: it is the gift of God.” She believed that. In fact, she’d truly embraced it through the pain of the last few years. And then there was what she’d recited to Tim. “Love thy neighbor as thyself.” True, she’d said it trying to get him to recognize God wanted him to love the Becks. But Christ’s command for her to love herself was just as valid.
She walked down to the bottom of the steps. Maybe she didn’t deserve God’s forgiveness, but who was she to refuse his gift? Maybe she didn’t deserve Charlie’s
love, but how could she offer him her own if she refused his?
And the truth was, she did want to offer him her love.
He came out the back door, whistling. She turned toward him. He stopped but then quickly descended the steps. The longer she waited the harder it would be. She would have to trust God with the children.
Eve turned toward Charlie. “I want to move to Philly.”
“What?”
“Karina said I could live with her.”
A smile spread across his face. “That’s great. Have you talked it through with Tim?”
She exhaled. “No, but I’ve decided,” she said. “I mean, I’ve decided to go. We’ll have to figure out the rest . . . together.”
Charlie stepped closer. “This is what you believe God wants?”
“Jah,” she said. “It might take a while, to make sure everyone is settled before I go.” She choked on the words. “Monika said she’ll take care of them. She has the time, and I believe Tim will let her.” Tears stung her eyes.
“I want to be with you when you talk to Tim,” Charlie said.
“No.”
“You can’t catch me!” Simon yelled.
Zane jumped from the buggy and zipped by Daniel, who tagged him. Jenny followed Zane. Lila darted behind the buggy to the chicken coop, and Zane took off after her, leaving Simon free to reach base. But instead he ran toward the house, most likely to be closer to Charlie.
Charlie brushed Eve’s hand with his. “Please,” he said. “I don’t want you to face Tim alone.”
“Dat!” Rose ran toward the driveway as Eve registered the sound of wheels rolling over the gravel. Glancing toward the wagon, she called for all the children. Zane and Lila started toward the house, followed by Daniel.
Eve turned toward the wagon. Tim and Gideon rode up front, and the back was filled with tools and ladders.
“We’re nearly done,” Tim said, stopping the wagon. He jumped down and patted Rose on the head. “A few more hours on Monday will finish it up.”