Amish Promises

by Leslie Gould

  As she stepped out the door, Monika called out, “If he balks, tell him to call Gideon. He’d tell him to go.”

  “Okay,” Shani responded. As time went by, she liked Gideon more and more.

  Tim and Reuben were in the office, going over some paperwork. “Hallo,” Shani called out, as she entered. “How are you, Reuben?”

  “Gut,” he answered. “And you?”

  “Great,” she said. “Is your Dat manning the lumberyard all by himself today?”

  Reuben nodded. “Tim’s teaching me about farming.”

  “Oh,” Shani said. She’d imagined him taking over the lumberyard but maybe that wasn’t what he wanted. Then again, Gideon was still fairly young. He probably had a good twenty years or more of work left in him.

  “Tim,” Shani said. “May I talk with you a minute?”

  He glanced toward the field. “Are the kids all right?”

  She nodded, and then jerked her head toward the door. “In private.”

  As they stepped outside, the older kids ran by.

  “Don’t go anywhere,” Shani said to Zane. “I need to talk with you next.”

  She followed Tim to the side of the barn and then squinted at him as she spoke. “Would you go to Eve’s wedding with us?”

  “Don’t ask me that.”

  “She loves you. She loves your children.” Shani paused for a moment, but when Tim didn’t say anything, she kept on talking. “So she’s shunned, but I know you can still have a relationship with her. I get that you can’t ride in a car she’s driving or sit at the same table with her, although I’ve heard sitting at one a few inches away is all right.”

  He crossed his arms.

  “She’s your only sister. Do you know what I would give for a sibling? Don’t do this to her. To yourself. Or to your children.”

  “You don’t know what you’re talking about.”

  “Oh yeah? Call your bishop, then. Ask him if you can go.”

  “I don’t need to involve Gideon, of all people, in this. I don’t need to involve myself in this.”

  “Think about Abra,” Shani said, tears welling in her eyes. Sometimes she had to remind herself that she never knew the woman. She seemed so real to her. “What would she want you to do?”

  He didn’t budge.

  “Well, I’m going,” Shani said. “And when I come back, I promise we’ll pick up where we left off. You’ll stop by and comment on how big Adam is getting. Your kids will traipse through my house. Trudy will practice her running across my kitchen floor. I’ll stop by to have coffee with Monika—and harass you.

  “We’re neighbors, Tim Lehman. Don’t you dare ruin it.” Her eyes began to water. “Because you’re a good man. You saved us more than once since we’ve been here. The ramp. The house. Supporting Joel.” A tear trickled down her face. Then another. She brushed them away. “My family loves your family, and even though you might try to deny it, I think you like us a little too.”

  His hands dropped to his sides. He cleared his throat but didn’t speak.

  Shani opened her mouth to say more, but the words stuck in her throat. Embarrassed by her outburst, she marched off. Clearly she hadn’t changed Tim’s mind.

  “Come on, Zane,” she called out.

  “What’s going on?”

  “I’ll tell you in the car.”

  “I don’t want to go.”

  “We’re going,” she said. But first she had to go get the baby from Monika.

  Thankfully the woman met her halfway, and by the look on her face, Shani thought she’d probably overheard her conversation with Tim. She took the baby, gave Monika a hug, and then started toward the van.

  Tim was marching toward the house, so Shani increased her speed. Zane stood a few feet away from it, with all of the children gathered around him. “I want to stay here,” he said as Tim clomped up the back steps.

  “Get in the van.” Shani opened the sliding door and slid Adam into his car seat, fumbling to fasten the buckle.

  “Are you all right?” It was Lila, her voice full of compassion.

  Shani managed to get the car seat buckled and swiped at her eyes again. She turned toward the girl. “I’m fine. Just feeling . . . sad.”

  Lila hugged her.

  “Thanks, sweetie,” she said, hugging her back. She looked over the girl’s head at Zane and mouthed, “Cooperate.”

  “Where are we going?”

  “I’ll tell you in the van,” she said, letting go of Lila. “We’ll see all of you soon.” She felt horrible about leaving for Eve’s wedding, leaving all of them behind.

  She stepped around to the driver’s side, climbed in, and started the engine. Finally Zane obeyed her.

  “We’re going to Eve and Charlie’s wedding,” she said after he shut the door.

  He groaned. “I told you I didn’t want to go. I hate weddings.”

  “You’ve never been to one.”

  He crossed his arms. She took a good look at him. He wore a torn T-shirt and mud-splattered jeans. He smelled like a boy who had been working and playing outside all morning—that mix of soil and sweat. It wasn’t that she found it a bad smell, but he certainly wasn’t cleaned up for a wedding.

  “We’ll have to go back to the house,” she said.

  “Why?”

  “So you can change.”

  “Mom!” he wailed.

  Ignoring him, she backed up the van.

  As she did, Zane said, “Look.”

  “What?” she asked, still looking backward.

  “Tim.”

  She braked and turned. Tim lumbered toward them—barefoot, shoes and socks in one hand, and his black hat and an envelope in the other. He wore a clean white shirt and clean trousers, with the suspenders hanging to his knees.

  “Let him sit up front,” Shani said. She wasn’t going to get her hopes up. Maybe he wanted a ride to the lumberyard.

  “Do I have to go?”

  “Ask Tim if he cares if you stay.”

  Zane hopped out of the car and asked quickly.

  “Monika won’t mind,” Tim said, as he looped his suspenders over his arms, positioning them on his shoulders.

  “You be good,” Shani said. “Call my cell if you need to.”

  He nodded, grinning from ear to ear and running backward. He waved and then took off after the other kids who’d gathered around the barn with Reuben.

  Tim climbed in and slammed the door, pulling on one sock and then the other. When he had his shoes on, Shani said, “Fasten your seat belt.”

  He obliged.

  “Where to?” Shani asked.

  “The wedding,” he answered.

  Relief flooded over her. Tim didn’t say another word the rest of the way to Philly. It wasn’t until he saw Eve at a distance, under a tree in the side yard that Tim said, “I don’t want her to see me before the service.”

  Shani led him around to the other side of the church, Adam in her arms, wondering what Tim’s plan was. Her stomach fell. She wouldn’t put it past Tim to make a scene.

  35

  Charlie stood ramrod straight as Joel adjusted his bow tie in the pastor’s office. It wasn’t often he wore his dress blues, and he never could get the tie right. Thankfully Joel was at his side to help. Just having his friend nearby made him feel calmer and more at ease.

  This was the happiest day of his life—and yet it was also bittersweet. Eve was putting on a brave front, but just the thought of her walking down the aisle by herself made Charlie choke up. Tim should be walking her down. And Lila and Rose should be leading the way, and then Shani. None of it was the way it should be—but that seemed to be the way life was.

  He swallowed hard.

  He could barely believe he was marrying Eve. He would have a relationship like his grandparents, honest and loving. With a simple lifestyle. He’d already traded in his truck for an ordinary sedan. They’d have a computer for Eve’s course work—but nothing else. They’d have a few animals and a garden. God willing
, they’d have children to raise and love.

  Above all, he’d cherish Eve.

  “Having second thoughts?” Joel teased.

  Charlie grinned. “Only about you talking me into inviting you.”

  Joel stepped away from him toward the window and then froze. “Uh-oh,” he said.

  Charlie stepped toward the window. “What?”

  Joel put his arm out. “Stay back.”

  Charlie learned forward just in time to see Tim walk by, his black hat squarely on his head. “What’s he doing here?”

  Shani trailed behind him, carrying the baby. Joel groaned. “She said she wasn’t coming.”

  Sweat beaded on Charlie’s forehead. Would the pastor include that old line, If anyone knows any reason why these two should not be wed, let him speak up now . . . He doubted that was in Amish weddings. Maybe it was only included in TV weddings anymore.

  Joel pressed up against the window with Charlie right behind him. Tim led the way around the corner of the church, toward the front. Charlie wondered if Eve was done with the photographs. He hoped so. She was supposed to wait in the nursery until it was time to start.

  “What time is it?” Charlie asked.

  Joel held out his arm. “Eleven fifty-five.”

  Tim was probably on his way to find Eve. Maybe he’d force her to go back with him. “Go guard the nursery door,” Charlie said. “Don’t let him in there.”

  Joel held up a hand. “What am I supposed to do? Take him out?”

  Charlie shook his head. “Just look tough.”

  Joel stepped back and retrieved his cane, which had been propped up against the pastor’s desk. He held it up. “My days of looking tough are over.” Still, he squared his shoulders.

  “Then I’ll do it,” Charlie said.

  Joel shook his head. “I’ll go recon.”

  Charlie stood back from the window, watching the other guests arrive. Finally he dug his phone from his pocket. Eleven fifty-nine. Weddings never started on time—but this one needed to.

  The door started to open, and Charlie turned sharply, expecting Joel. It was the pastor. “Ready?” he asked.

  He shook his head. “Joel will be right back.”

  The music in the sanctuary seemed to grow louder with each passing second. Where was Joel? Finally Charlie said, “I’ll go look for him.”

  “No, you stay here,” the pastor said. “I will. Any idea where he might be?”

  “Somewhere near the nursery. . . .” Charlie hesitated and then added, “Eve’s brother showed up. We’re worried he’s going to try to talk her into going back to Lancaster. Or force her too.”

  “I’d certainly be against him forcing her—but if he talks her into it, I don’t see that there’s much we could do.”

  Charlie exhaled and then said, “You’re right.”

  “I’ll go see if I can find Joel,” the pastor said.

  Charlie stepped back to the window and tried to pray—for God’s will. Then for what was best for Eve. Finally he sat down in the pastor’s chair and said out loud, “It’s your deal, God. You know what I hope for, long for. But . . .” He couldn’t say any more.

  He heard Joel’s cane in the hall before the door swung open. The pastor was behind him. “It took me a while to find him,” Joel said. “He didn’t go to the nursery. He’s sitting in the back with Shani.”

  “Did you talk to her?” Charlie stood.

  Joel shook his head. “I didn’t want Tim to see me.”

  “Let’s go,” the pastor said. He led the way down the back hallway and then through the door to the front of the church. The pastor continued on to the pulpit, while Charlie and Joel stopped at their assigned places. The sun shone through the stained-glass windows of the sanctuary, bathing the room in jewel tones. Charlie couldn’t see very well, but he could make out Tim’s imposing form in the back pew. He sat on the inside edge, right next to the aisle. Maybe he planned to grab Eve’s arm when she walked in and whisk her away. Charlie’s heart beat faster as the organist began the processional, not sure what he’d do if his fears came true.

  Karina, wearing a simple royal blue dress, started down the aisle. Charlie shifted to the right so he could see the open doors to the foyer. Eve wasn’t there. Karina smiled and then turned to go to her designated place. The music grew louder. Charlie’s mom, his dad at her side, stood and smiled at him. He searched the back for Eve.

  There she was, all alone, in her white dress and veil. She held her head high and took her first step toward him.

  36

  It all felt so foreign to Eve, so different than the weekday morning weddings she was used to. Charlie had lamented that no one was walking her down the aisle, but she didn’t feel alone. Not at all. God walked beside her.

  The guests were all standing. All but one.

  She gasped. Tim sat in the last pew, looking straight ahead, his hat in his hands. Shani stood beside him, holding Adam, smiling at Eve as if everything were fine. Eve kept on walking, searching for Charlie at the front of the church. She couldn’t see him above the heads of their guests.

  She forced herself to breathe and slowed her steps. Charlie was her partner. But God was her strength. Her refuge in times of trouble.

  And that’s what her brother was—trouble.

  She took another deep breath. But Tim was her brother. Her only sibling.

  She reminded herself he had no control over her anymore—especially not on her wedding day.

  When she reached the halfway point down the aisle, she could finally see Charlie. He looked so handsome in his dress uniform, bathed in the colored Licht pouring through the stained-glass window above him. His eyes lit up when he saw her. Joy. She felt it too. She smiled back at him. The music surged. She couldn’t help but increase her pace. He stepped out to meet her, taking her hand and pulling her close. The pastor said, “We are gathered here today to witness the joining of two lives . . .”

  She put Tim out of her mind and squeezed Charlie’s hand, hoping he knew how much she loved him. How grateful she was for his love for her.

  The ceremony proceeded. Karina took Eve’s bouquet of roses. The pastor joined Eve and Charlie’s hands together. First they said the Lord’s Prayer together, in German. “Vater unser im Himmel, geheiligt werde dein Name . . .” The recitation honored Eve’s heritage along with Charlie’s grandparents.

  Then they repeated their vows—Charlie first and then Eve. She only thought of Tim in the back of the church once, when she thought of his and Abra’s wedding day, of Lila and Daniel sitting between Eve and Leona, eyes wide, staring at their Mamm and her new husband. Of course they couldn’t comprehend any of it. They were just over a year old. They had no idea how much their lives were about to change.

  Tears began to sting her eyes, and Eve blinked. Then she locked eyes with Charlie, and the sense of harmony, as beautiful as the colored Licht, returned.

  Joel handed Charlie her ring—a simple wedding band. It had been their compromise. He slid it onto her finger as the light caught the gold, causing it to shimmer like starlight.

  Next Karina handed Eve Charlie’s ring, and she held it in her hand as she repeated after the pastor. “I give you this ring, committing my heart and soul to you.” She slid the ring onto his finger and repeated, “I ask you to wear it as a reminder of the vows”—she met Charlie’s eyes—“and promises we have spoken today.” They were promises to Charlie that she would keep. They weren’t made out of fear or under duress. They were made of her own volition—based on her trust in God.

  Charlie clasped her hand and held it tight. He grinned as the pastor declared them husband and wife and then said, “You may kiss the bride.”

  Amish ceremonies didn’t include a wedding kiss. Charlie raised her veil and gently brushed her lips. She squeezed his hand as they turned toward the congregation together. They’d have their time together, soon.

  A moment later Eve and Charlie were sailing back up the aisle. She was aware of everyone she’
d missed as she’d entered the sanctuary. Charlie’s parents. Karina’s in-laws. Charlie’s chaplain friend, Ron, and his wife. Abra’s parents. Shani beamed at her as Adam slept on her shoulder. Tim still had his head down, staring at the floor.

  Eve and Charlie continued on to the foyer, and a moment later, Karina and Joel joined them. As the pastor invited the guests to move into the reception hall, Shani and Tim slipped out the door first. Tim had something in his hand—an envelope. Shani stepped aside, letting him go first.

  Eve didn’t budge, but by the time Tim reached her, she realized he hadn’t come to shame her or drag her back. He’d brought her something. A card, perhaps.

  He extended the envelope. “I found these the night I found the note from Abra. She wanted you to have these too.”

  She took it from him and pulled out a small stack of photographs. Her heart stopped for a moment. The first photo was of her and Abra, the one Patrick took all those years ago. Abra wore her blond hair long, and her blue eyes sparkled with life. Eve had her arm around her friend.

  She flipped to the next. It was Lila and Daniel as toddlers. Then one of Simon as a baby. And one of Rose. The next one was of Abra and Trudy, in the hospital right after the baby had been born. They were still hopeful then that the chemo would work. That Abra would live.

  The last one was of Eve and Abra together at a distance, taken at Leona and Eli’s just a few weeks before Abra died. Leona must have taken all the photos, except the first, and given them to Abra. And now Tim was giving them to Eve.

  She looked up at her brother. “Denki,” she said as guests made their way around the small group. She swiped at her eyes.

  Tim inhaled sharply. “I’m sorry I didn’t give you the note and the photos that night. And I’m sorry for being so harsh with you, even after I’d read what Abra wrote.”

  “Denki,” Eve said again, slipping the photos back into the envelope.

  Tim raised his eyebrows and said softly, “Even though it was written to you, it meant so much for me to read that she loved me.”

  “She did love you,” Eve said. “I knew she did—even without the note.”

  Tim tugged on his beard. “Knowing it inspired me to help the Becks—along with Christ’s commandment to love our neighbors. But neither was enough for me to be honest with you. Or loving enough to release you of the promise you’d made.”