The Strength to Fall (McKinnon Brothers Book 1)

by Chisolm, D. M.

  I was jamming out to Queen’s Somebody to Love while unpacking items in my bedroom when I saw Ozias standing in the door frame. I about jumped out of my skin.

  “Ozias! You scared me to death! What are you doing here?” I asked holding my chest and leaning against my dresser. He had his suit jacket thrown over his shoulder and his white dress shirt sleeves rolled up to his forearms. Hot didn’t do him justice.

  “Did you know your door wasn’t locked and you couldn’t hear me knocking because of your music?” He seemed upset.

  I walked around him and turned the music down. “No, I didn’t. I thought I closed and locked it after the last load but I guess I didn’t. Good thing it’s only you then, huh?”

  He walked to me slowly. Ozias put an arm around my waist and one behind my head and looked into my eyes. “Yes, it’s a very good thing. Promise me you won’t do that again. Our building is safe but you can’t ever be too careful. If something happened to you, I…” he broke his words with a hard kiss to my mouth. I was breathless when he broke away. “Just be careful ok?” he stepped away from me and laid his jacket over a stool I have under the bar attached to the sink counter. I was frozen. I couldn’t move. This man was so overpowering.

  When speech returned to me I walked over to him as he was looking around my living room at a few picture I had unpacked. “Why are you here? I thought you had to work?”

  “I got done what I had to that I can’t do at home. I’m here to help you. I thought the time you’d need me the most is after the movers left. Unfortunately, I had to be at that meeting today or I would have been here to help with that too. What can I do? I’m here for the rest of the day.” He picked up a picture of my parents when they were just dating. It was my favorite of them.

  I walked over and took the picture and sat it back where it goes. “I appreciate that. I really do, but I actually really enjoy unpacking and organizing. It’s what I’m really good at. This is the first day I’m really excited about being here. It feels real now. I’m a city girl! I never imagined I’d ever say those words.”

  He clenched his jaw. “So you don’t need me then?”

  “I don’t mean it like that. I just meant, you didn’t have to cut your work day short. I’m good. Really. I’m taking breaks and resting my ankle when I need to and I’m focusing on rooms I need unpacked today just so I can function. I figure it will take me the rest of the week to get everything like I like it.” I smiled and tried to not sound like I didn’t want him here.

  He picked his jacket up and walked to the door. “I’ll be at home then, if you decide you need me.” He walked to the door and looked back before he walked out. “Lock this after I leave.” And he was gone. Shit. I hurt him again. Damn it! Do I go after him? Ugh. I just want to unpack alone and put everything where I like it. I just need this day to decompress. Can’t he understand that?

  I decided to text him an apology instead.

  Hey, look I’m sorry. I’m super OCD and like to unpack alone.

  U want 2 have dinner 2nite over here?

  Ozias responded almost immediately.

  Maybe. I’ll let u know. Gotta go. TTYL

  Not good. He’s pissed. I probably would be too. I really need to at least get my bedroom unpacked today and I can’t push myself physically too much because of my ankle. I decided to just focus on what I needed to do. If he texted back he wants to have dinner then we can talk more about defining whatever this is that we’re attempting.

  By 8:00 pm I was soaking in my bath satisfied with what I had accomplished today. The kitchen, my bedroom, and my bath were all unpacked. They weren’t completely organized put I wouldn’t be living out of boxes in those rooms and I felt accomplished. I never heard from Ozias. I almost texted him again, but I was so focused on unpacking I let time get away from me. I ordered a few staples from a grocer that delivers just to get me through the next few days. I didn’t plan on leaving my unit until it was organized and I felt comfortable. As I went to bed, it occurred to me that Ozias’ bedroom was behind my bedroom wall. That just made me think of the night we made love and I wanted him badly in that moment. Being the stubborn woman I am, I chose not to text him because he never texted me back. I invited him for dinner, he never even let me know he decided not to come. I’ve got too much to do to push him to come over. If he wants to see me he can come knock on my door, text, or call. With that thought, I drifted off to sleep feeling truly at home for the first time since I left Mississippi.

  The week went in a blur of unpacking, organizing, and decorating. By Friday, I was hanging the last of my pictures when there was a knock at my door. I looked through the peephole to see it was Declan. What would Ozias’ brother want with me? I opened the door and invited him in.

  “Declan. What can I do for you?” I asked.

  “Well, it’s not for me that I’m here. Look, if you aren’t into Ozias, you gotta tell him. He’s never had a girlfriend. Hell, he’s never really even had a friend that was a girl. He doesn’t know how all this works and something tells me you do.” He pointed his finger back and forth between himself and me.

  “What does that mean? Are you insinuating I’m teasing him or something even worse about my character?” I crossed my arms as a defense.

  “Hey, no, don’t get angry, ok. It’s just, I don’t know what happened between Monday, when I last saw you two together, and today, but Ozias is miserable. He’s been in a horrible mood, snapping at everyone, running so much I think he could have run a marathon this week. Just be honest with him. If he really doesn’t have a chance tell him. It’ll be awkward as hell for a while but he’s a workaholic so you won’t see each other much.” Declan was trying to be a good brother, although I doubted Ozias would see it that way.

  “I’m not going to get into our relationship details with you, but I appreciate you caring enough about him to talk to me. The truth is we had a minor misunderstanding Tuesday. I’ve texted him a few times to ask if he wanted to have dinner and he’s only texted back that he’s working late or he was busy. So, I’ll talk to him, in person, today and clear the air between us.” That’s more than Declan needs to know.

  “Sounds like a good idea. Just follow through and actual see him and talk to him. He’s not great at communicating and frankly I’m impressed he even texted you back. He rarely texts anyone back. You’re important to him if he’s responding. Just understand he’s so far over his head with you. And it’s obvious he really, really likes you. I’ve never seen him like this.” Declan said with sympathy.

  “I’m sorry. Really. Believe it or not, I’m over my head too. I’ve got a lot I’m going through and being here is my chance to start over. I wasn’t planning on starting a relationship. I do care for Ozias very much. I’ve been hyper focused on getting my place like I want it. I didn’t know he was hurting. I promise to talk to him. Do you know if he’ll be around later?” I felt guilty now for not letting him help me earlier. I hurt him more than I thought.

  “Actually, yes I do. My friend that lives here in the co-op is having a party on the roof top terrace tonight. I told him he had to come, at least a little while. My friend, Erica, grew up with us. It’s her birthday and she asked me to get Ozias to come. You’re welcome to come too. Erica won’t mind at all. It’ll be a great time--- a band, food, alcohol….need I say more?” Delcan was about to leave but he folded his hands together and pressed them to his lips like he was a devious dictator about to deliver his master plan. He looked at me and I could see Doc thirty years ago. It was unnerving how much they looked alike. He spoke breaking my focus, “Well, I’ll say one last thing. Erica has always had a crush on Ozias and, as usual, he’s oblivious, but I’m pretty sure she’s hoping for a birthday kiss. Just sayin’. Party starts at 8:00.” He left me standing in my living room with a dumbfounded expression on my face.

  I never even considered other women being interested in Ozias, not because he’s not attractive because God knows the man is crazy, sexy, hot, but because he’s s
o unexperienced I just believed him when he said women never gave him a chance. Could it be he’s partly to blame for that by not picking up on the cues? The way he’s responded to me wanting to unpack alone, I believe that he wouldn’t give much thought to a woman who flirted with him unless she was aggressive. Jealousy coursed through me. It was time to lay claim to this man. Just the thought of another woman going after him prompted me to action.

  No time for waxing, shaving will have to do. I glanced at the clock on my kitchen microwave. I’ve got four hours to work magic on my body, nails, hair, makeup, and outfit. Time to let Ozias McKinnon know I want him and he has to grow up and fight for me too. It’s on!

  Chapter Twenty-Four

  One last look in the mirror satisfies me enough I’m ready to leave. I pucker my lips to apply a light gloss tinted red, just a hint. I stare at myself and barely recognize this woman. All that has happened in a week’s time has changed me. I would never believe that I’d be getting dressed for a party, on a roof top to attract a man I barely knew but felt I was in love with. And that’s the scary part, I do feel love for Ozias. How that’s possible in such a short time, I don’t know and if I’m honest with myself, it’s part of the distance I’ve kept this week. Yes, I’ve been busy getting my life organized but once I was in my own environment with my things, it was easier to hide and try to shield myself from him. Now, I have to go and win him before someone else does. The fact that just the thought of Erica makes me jealous, tells me I can’t hide from these feelings.

  I stepped back and gave myself a once-over in the oval mirror in the corner of my bedroom. I decided on a dress tonight, a strapless candy apple red with a tight corset body that fans out slightly into a flowy skirt that hits right above my knees. The cotton fabric should keep me cool enough on this balmy night. Sweating is not a way to attract a man, so I chose this dress for that aspect but mainly because it highlights my curves perfectly. My ankle is better but still sore so I chose a pair of low heel strappy, silver sandals. I took the time to paint my toes a bright red to match my dress. I gave my hair more attention than I have in weeks, straightening it then adding a few flowing curls on the ends. I ran my hands through my hair to give it one last fluff. I kept my makeup light with a faint smoky eye shadow with a hint of glitter being the main feature. My earrings were long silver threads that had a small crystals at the ends. They shimmered when I moved me head. I nodded and thought I looked as good as I could with short notice. I grabbed my small black purse with a silver beaded strap that I use for occasion like this. Just big enough for my phone and lip gloss. I grabbed my ear buds and headed to the elevators, breathing slowing to prepare myself.

  I chose a new song for the trip to the roof. Little Big Town’s Girl Crush came pouring through my ear buds and I thought the lyrics were spot on. I was jealous of a girl I’ve never even met. I laughed at myself over the absurdity when I see Declan walking towards me dressed in dark jeans and a light green button down shirt that made his blue eyes pop. He had bad boy written all over him. He whistled low when he stopped next to me.

  “Damn, I have to say for the first time ever, I’m jealous of my big brother. You look amazing, Adira.”

  “Thank you,” I said quickly feeling a little nervous.

  “If you can’t turn Ozias’ head in that dress, there’s no hope for the man.” The elevator arrived and Delcan held his arm out to me. I hesitated but I needed help on the ride to the roof and even though he doesn’t know of my phobia, I don’t want to have an attack. So I take his arm and once on the elevator I push my ear buds back in. Declan glanced at me with a questioning look. I don’t want to be rude so I give him a short explanation.

  “Elevators make me a little nervous. My music helps.” I said staring straight ahead. He nodded but still looked skeptical.

  The roof was decorated beautifully with miniature lanterns in various colors hung across the whole area suspended by thin lighted poles placed around the perimeter. A band was set up at the far end away from the pool. Circular tables were scattered around with black table cloths and a small floral arrangement with delicate pink roses in various hues carefully placed in round vases. Candles with LED lights with colors to match the lanterns completed the table décor. An aroma from the buffet of wonderful smelling food filled the air. A bar was situated between the buffet and the pool. Everything you need for a great party including stunning guest. I felt out of place all the sudden. I tucked a strand of hair behind my ear and fidgeted with the corset top of my dress. Delcan must have sensed my nervousness.

  “You look beautiful. Don’t worry. Ozias is going to practically faint when he sees you.”

  “It’s not that I’m worried about,” I can’t believe I’m confiding in Declan but he reminds me of my brother Jacob. He’s a cocky pain in the ass but I also know there’s isn’t anything he wouldn’t do for me. “I’m out of my element here. At home, I feel I belong. I just feel out of place here, in the city, with all these supermodel women.”

  “What? You mean these women who starve themselves so they can think they look like supermodels? Please. Women should be curvy and have something a man can hold on to.” He squeezed me to his side. I couldn’t tell if he was making fun of me so I just stared at my feet. He turned me to face him. “Adira, look at me.” His voice was commanding so I did. “I love to travel and everywhere but America, women are voluptuous and don’t desire to be starving thin. We McKinnon men don’t go for that anyway. When Ozias sees you he’s going to keep you close so no other man here can even get a glance at you.”

  Ok, this guy has that certain charm that makes women swoon. I smiled and looked up. When I did, I saw Ozias across the balcony leaning against a high top table placed along the terrace wall. He was wearing jeans and a dark blue button down shirt, with the sleeve rolled up exposing his forearms. He looked hot and my lower belly clenched. A petite blonde in a pink halter dress was practically on top of him she was so close. The band started playing so talking was difficult. Ozias leaned his head towards her, I guess to hear what she was saying. She did a flirty hair flip and ran her hand down his chest. He was holding a beer bottle, which knowing he doesn’t drink much surprised me. He smiled at her and put his beer down. She took his hand and led him to the dance floor. I guess Declan had been speaking to me but I hadn’t heard a word of it. The jealousy flamed through me and was all consuming. I had never been this jealous over any man.

  “Adira, what is it? Why do you look like you could kill someone right now?” Declan followed the path my eyes were taking and recognition lit his face. “Oh, well I see she moves fast. That’s Erica.”

  My eyes snapped back to Declan. I just noticed I was gripping his arms, hard. I released him, but grabbed his hand, “Dance with me,” I ordered.

  The band was playing covers and their lead singer was belting out Uptown Funk. I turned to Declan and started dancing. He stood still for a minute but then grabbed me and spun me around. I wasn’t expecting that. He spun me back into him and whispered in my ear, “Can you keep up with me?” I nodded. Declan didn’t know I loved to dance. I could keep up with whatever he threw at me. At my agreement he put his hand on my waist and slowly moved us around in a slow pelvic circle, then just as the tempo changed he spun me back out and released my hand. He was an amazing dancer. I matched his rhythm and danced around him. Near the end I ran my fingers over his shoulders as I moved in front of him and as he took my hands he lifted me in the air and circled around. I hadn’t noticed the crowd had moved to give us space. Dancing was always a stress reliever for me and for just a moment I forgot my jealousy and anxiety. The song ended as Declan put me on my feet and I heard applause erupt around us. The band went right into another upbeat song but I needed a drink. I glanced around and saw no sign of Ozias or Erica. And just like that the feelings that were fleeting a moment before came crashing back.

  I needed something much stronger than water. Declan brought me back some sweet tasting mixed drink that was definitely mostly
vodka. The burn as it slid down my throat felt good and prompted me to action. “Where is he?” I hadn’t realized I’d said that out loud until I heard Declan answer.

  “Still on the dance floor,” He pointed his beer bottle towards a couple on the far side of the dance floor. Erica was looking up at Ozias and swinging her hips in seductive gestures. She couldn’t be more obvious in her intentions. Surprisingly, Ozias was a good dancer. I even thought to myself, they looked good together but that just pissed me off more. The song ended and they moved to a table and sat down, leaning into each other to talk. A server brought them more beer and Ozias was laughing as he sipped. I just stood there watching them feeling a little like a peeping Tom.

  How did he not know I was here? He had to have seen us on the dance floor.

  “Did he see us dancing, Declan?” I asked, starting to hate how pathetic I was.

  “I would think so. The whole dance floor moved back to give us room.” Declan stated.

  “Why then? Does he not want me here? This was a mistake. I need to go.” I started towards the elevators but Declan stopped me.

  “No, don’t go. If he wants to be an ass, let him.” Declan didn’t seem concerned with my plight.

  “I don’t want to stay and watch him with her. I can’t.” I moved away from him before he could ask me to stay again. The greenhouse Ozias told me my aunt donated caught my eye. I decided that was a good place to escape to calm down. The greenhouse was lovely. Someone had strung lights across the ceiling and they cast a glow over the small area. There was a wooden bench in the corner with a small table. There was a book on the table. I picked it up. It was a journal. I hesitated opening it but my curiosity got the best of me. The front page read This journal belongs to Claire Rose Stuart. Oh my god. I sat on the bench but was afraid to read any further. It was small so I tucked it in my purse, it barely fit. Glancing around the greenhouse I knew why Claire loved it here. There were roses of many colors, azaleas not in bloom so I wondered what color they were. I couldn’t tell what some plants were. Seems no one had tended this since her death. I decided to leave and go home. I couldn’t watch Ozias with Erica. When I stood to leave I knocked a small planter over that was near my foot. I bent down to right it when I felt a shock on my upper arm. I knew it was Ozias before I even turned around.