Sugar Springs

by Kim Law

  Except, not all men remembered their kids once they left.

  As they all watched him, each of them fell into her own sort of trance. The girls were dreaming about a father who stuck, but Lee Ann couldn’t help but dream of a little more. She had once believed in him so much. She found her hopes sliding in that same direction again, and in more ways than simply fatherhood.

  Her danged pulse had forgotten how to behave when he was around.

  Candy stepped closer and pressed a hand lightly to Lee Ann’s. “We’re happy you two like each other, Mom. Joanie told us how she didn’t think you’d ever gotten over him.”

  “Excuse me?” The words jerked her out of her silly fantasy. Her best friend, the one who’d been giving Cody the evil eye and grilling him all night at the dinner table, had told these two that she still had feelings for him?

  Kendra nodded. “We can tell, too.”

  Lee Ann narrowed her eyes. “What can you tell?”

  “We’re almost thirteen, Mom.” Kendra propped her hands on her hips. “We can tell when two people really like each other.”

  Candy peeked at Cody as he made his way back toward them. “He’s checked out your butt, too, like you just did his.”

  Oh, crap. Knowing the two of them, they’d probably share that same information with Cody if she didn’t get them away from there. She glanced over at the store they wanted to go into. There were some cute tanks and robes in there. Surely they could find something appropriate for someone their age.

  “Fine,” she said. “You can go buy something for your birthday, but we’re dropping this other conversation. You can each buy one item. But nothing too grown-up, or I’ll return it myself.”

  Both girls grinned with happiness, and the air whooshed from her lungs. She’d swear they were looking more and more like their father every day.

  “Here you go.” Cody stopped at the table and handed Lee Ann her shake. He narrowed his eyes at the girls’ bright faces. “What did I miss?”

  Kendra opened her mouth.

  “Nothing,” Lee Ann interjected.

  Kendra laughed out loud as she reached for one of the chocolate shakes.

  Candy grabbed hers and they both scampered away, each competing to be first to the store. Candy won, but then Kendra kicked her in the back of the knees, knocking her to the floor, and hurried around her.

  Cody shook his head. “It’s bad enough I don’t understand women, but teenagers? Not sure I should even try.”

  A smile stretched across Lee Ann’s face when the girls both suddenly straightened as if realizing they were going into a grown-up store and needed to act the part. She was so lucky to have them. She turned to Cody and discovered he was smiling as well, as he watched them, too. “Don’t waste your time trying. If they catch on you’re on to them, they’ll immediately change. It’s an inner sensor.”

  He lowered himself to the seat at a ninety-degree angle to hers, groaning with the movement, his arm brushing over hers as he settled into place. The unpredictable weather of Tennessee had heated the day to a balmy seventy-five, calling for short sleeves, but with his touch she found herself wishing for a sweater to keep his skin from hers. She also wished she couldn’t see the tattoo he had peeking out from below his sleeve. It was bad enough at his neck.

  She had a hard time stopping herself from rolling up the material to see what he’d marked his body with underneath.

  Dipping her head to the straw, she peeked through her lashes, catching Cody studying her. She still had reservations about everything, but the day had been so casual and easy, she couldn’t help but relax. Around a mouthful of ice cream, she asked, “What?”

  “Just wondering if you’re enjoying yourself.” He took a sip of his own shake. Strawberry if she had to guess. “You think the girls are?”

  She saw the uncertainty in his eyes and guessed he wasn’t aware she could read him so easily. He was worried the girls would rather he wasn’t there. Their habit of ignoring the two of them couldn’t have helped allay his misgivings. Strangely, this made her want to reach out and touch him the way he kept finding excuses to touch her.

  “They’re having a blast.” She didn’t comment on her own enjoyment. “They’re glad you’re here even though it’s not cool to act like it.”

  He drank quietly as they both watched the girls flip through a rack of conservative robes, she and he both lost in their own thoughts. When he spoke, his voice was low but determined. “I don’t know how exactly this is going to work yet, but I won’t just walk away.”

  Like her father had done to her? “You’ll leave at the end of the year.”

  “Yes, but it doesn’t end there. I’m their father, though Lord knows I have no idea what that fully means yet. But I do know I’ll keep in touch, be there for them as much as possible. And I’ll stop in when I can. They can also travel with me some when they’re out of school.”

  Panic yanked Lee Ann to her feet. For some reason, she hadn’t even considered he’d want them to go with him. She glared down at him. “Their home is here, Cody.”

  “I’m not suggesting anything permanent. Simply the occasional trip. They’ll get to see part of the country and have new experiences.”

  The milkshake sat heavily in her stomach all of a sudden. “And who will take care of them while you work? No, it’s not possible. They need the stability I’ve provided for them. You’ll have to visit them here.”

  Brown eyes burned into hers. He stared at her for several long seconds, his jaw tight, before he blinked and dropped his gaze to the table. “This isn’t about you and me.”

  “I know that!” Her raised voice got the attention of the family at the next table, and she brought it back under control. “I’m the one who’s raised them all their life. I know what’s good for them. I know what they need.”

  “Do you? Or do you just know what would be easiest for you?”

  “Easiest for me?” Anger quickly rose to the surface as her pulse pounded behind her ears. She pasted on a small smile and nodded at a passing couple, then continued talking through gritted teeth. “Don’t talk to me about easy for me. I’m the one who was left here. Alone. No help with the bills, while raising my sister’s children. Your children. While you were out making a life for yourself.”

  He closed his eyes. “I knew nothing about it, Lee Ann. We’ve covered this.”

  “I know.”

  He cut his eyes up at her, a skeptical crease covering his forehead from one side to the other.

  “I do, I know,” she continued. “I believe you. No matter how much easier it would be to believe Steph and tell you to get the heck out—”

  “You couldn’t do that even if you wanted to.”

  She paused. “Couldn’t do what? Tell you to get out of their lives?”

  “Make me get out of their lives.”

  They stared at each other, him sitting calmly in his seat, her still standing, fear trickling through her, until she finally broke eye contact. She turned and watched the girls and crossed her arms over her chest as she took several deep gulps of air. This whole thing scared her to death.

  “Don’t hurt them,” she finally whispered, almost pleading. “Please don’t hurt them.”

  He waited for her to look back at him before he answered, and when he did, his voice was clear, his gaze unwavering. “I swear I won’t.”

  But he might. She could still remember the night her father had left. That was a pain she would do anything to keep her kids from ever feeling. Words died out as they sat there; she didn’t know what else to say. The situation with him and the girls would play out however it was going to, and all she could do was be there to pick up the pieces when needed.

  “I won’t hurt you again, either, Lee.”

  Her eyes watered, upsetting her even more. The last thing she wanted was to cry in front of the man. She didn’t want his pity, and she certainly didn’t want him realizing just how hard her life had been those first few years. They were all fine no
w. As long as he didn’t mess it up too much.

  He patted the seat she’d vacated. “Sit back down. Let’s talk, get to know each other again. It’s been a long time.”

  She shook her head. “You don’t need to know me.”

  “Wouldn’t it be best for them,” he said, nodding toward the store that the girls had disappeared into, “if we got along?”

  Yes, but that was such a grown-up, parent thing to say that she refused to answer him.

  While she continued standing there brooding, a hand reached out and wrapped around her wrist and tugged until she finally gave in and lowered to her seat. She probably looked silly standing, anyway. Especially with him still sitting.

  “Tell me about college,” he said, his voice low and deep, and she couldn’t help but want to answer just to keep him talking. “Did you get to go at all?”

  She nodded. “I finished my first semester right before the kids were born. I didn’t go back in January.”

  “And your scholarship?”

  Lee Ann glanced over at him but then just as quickly lowered her gaze. Unintentionally, she fastened on to his lips. She couldn’t let him see into her soul at that moment. He was fully aware how hard she’d worked for that scholarship. He would know what it had meant to give it up. “Was no good to a single mother of twins.”

  The sound of strangers talking and kids squealing was the only thing she heard for what seemed like a full minute. She had the strongest urge to lift her eyes to Cody’s so she could see what he was thinking, but it was best not to look. She did not want him seeing how dropping out of college had crushed her.

  “Your mom may not have been the best mother in the world, but she raised you okay.” His lips, as they moved, were mesmerizing. “You could’ve asked her to take them. You could’ve given them up as Steph had originally planned.”

  “I couldn’t.” She moved her straw up and down in the lid. The squeaking of plastic against plastic finally allowed her to break free from his pull and slide her gaze away from him. How could she make him understand? “No matter what, she had been my sister. This was my chance to be close to her.”

  And my last chance to be close to you.

  It hadn’t mattered how often she’d tried, how much she’d attempted to attain perfection; she’d never been good enough. Not for either of them.

  Cody leaned toward her until their arms brushed. “You’d never told me just how bad it was between the two of you. I knew there were problems, but...”

  But not so much that her sister would seduce him just to hurt her?

  “I know.” She stretched her hands flat over the table and shrugged. What did it hurt to admit the truth? Facts were facts. “She hated me from the day I was born.”

  He touched a finger to the side of her chin and turned her face to his, sliding his warm touch along her jawbone. His dark eyes roamed over her face before locking on to her eyes. “I’m sorry your sister wasn’t worthy of you, and I’m sorry you had to postpone your dreams. But thank you for taking care of my girls. I would hate myself even more if they’d ended up in the system like I was.”

  She gulped. “I couldn’t have lived with myself if I’d done it any other way.”

  And that was the truth. Knowing the childhood Cody had experienced and the unhappiness that had come with it, she could not have risked that happening to his girls, no matter what she’d had to give up because of it.

  The moment was suddenly way too serious. She moved back out of his reach and glanced toward the store. “I heard Keri gave birth early this morning. Word is it was a quick labor, and they’re both doing well.”

  A low chuckle hit her ears. “Changing subjects on me, Lee?”

  She shivered with the easy way he said her name. “You bet. We should focus on having fun. Not dwelling on what can’t be changed.”

  That chuckle sounded again, and she couldn’t fight the urge to look over at him. But when she did, she knew it had been a mistake. The heat twinkling back at her indicated that his idea of fun just might not be the same as hers.

  Then again...She glanced at his mouth, noticing the tiny pink drop of milkshake now clinging to his upper lip...Maybe they both knew exactly what fun could be.

  Crap! She’d gone there again. She had to stop doing that.

  She returned her gaze to the girls and decided to bring up another subject that, though it might not be fun, did need to be discussed. Reaching into her bag, she pulled out the check he’d given her two days before and slid it across the table to him. “I can’t accept this. It’s too much.”

  He didn’t pick up the check.

  She nudged it closer. “Come on, Cody. Take it. I can’t accept more money from you than I make in a year. Keep it for a college fund if you insist on using it on them, but I don’t need it.”

  “I don’t recall asking if you needed it.”

  “Well, I don’t.” She pushed it to the edge of the table, directly in front of him. “Take it.”

  His hand finally moved, but instead of picking up the check he simply pushed it back across the table to her. “How about you quit the diner instead? Pursue the career you put on hold.”

  “Nothing was put on hold. I changed my path. People do that all the time.” Again, she pushed the check back in his direction. The thought of depositing that much money in her account gave her a vicious thrill. She could do a lot for the girls with that, and he was right, she could quit the diner. But it didn’t feel right. It felt as if accepting it would tie the two of them together in a way she wasn’t comfortable with. “I’ve been making it just fine on my own.”

  “And now you don’t have to. I’ve already arranged for a monthly check to come to you.”

  “Cody.” Exasperation had her voice tightening. “I’m making it fine.”

  “Quit the diner, Lee. Pursue your photography.”

  She shook her head. “You can’t just come back and start directing things.”

  “No?” His voice had sharpened in a similar manner to hers, indicating he was equally annoyed. He picked the check up, grabbed her bag and shoved it back inside. “Watch me.”

  “You can’t—”

  “Try and stop me,” he gritted out. “They’re my kids. I will make sure they have everything they need, and I will not sit around watching you work yourself to death anymore when I can do something about it.”

  “I am not your priority.”

  “Yet...you are.” His tone changed, and she sensed that he’d gone away from thinking solely about the girls. Suddenly, she didn’t want to hear whatever else he was about to say. Her breathing grew deeper and she pushed to her feet again. She felt more comfortable around him when she was standing up.

  “Fine,” she said. “I’ll accept the check. But I, personally, am nothing to you. The only things between us are those two girls.”

  She moved to the other side of the table, putting it between them while at the same time mentally reconstructing her wall. She silently watched her children move through the store and wished Cody would just walk away. He used to be good at that. There could not be anything more between them. He’d hurt her too much the first time.

  “You’re lying,” he said.

  She jerked around to glare at him, but he’d risen, his height now taking the sting out of her look. “I am not,” she muttered.

  “There’s something there. You feel it just like I do.”

  She turned her back to him. “Whatever we had ended the day you dropped your pants for my sister.”

  “Or maybe it was only put on pause.” His deep voice came from right behind her now, sparking goose bumps across the base of her neck.

  “There’s nothing left, Cody. You might as well give that thought up.” How had they gotten back here?

  “I can’t. I feel it.” He pressed his fingers to the small of her back and her traitorous body shivered. “You feel it, too. The question is, what do we do about it?”

  “I don’t feel a thing.” If ever she needed st
rength, it was now. She bit down on the inside of her lip and forced herself to remain stiff against his touch. Why did it have to still be him who had this effect on her? She did not need this in her life.

  He pressed his hand fully to her back, spreading his palm wide until every inch of it burned through her lightweight top. She fought the urge to close her eyes and lean into him. “You always were the worst liar,” he murmured.

  With a gentle caress of his thumb directly beneath the back strap of her bra, her knees locked in place to keep her from collapsing at his feet. His hand felt so perfectly right on her body. She curled her fingernails into her palms and reminded herself that they were there for the girls, not for the two of them. The two of them had ended. Years ago.

  As the girls crossed her mind, they burst from the store and raced for the table. Cody removed his hand from her body.

  Sliding to a stop, Kendra spoke. “We’re ready to check out, Mom. Can we use your debit card?”

  “I’ll get it.” Cody’s voice was deeper than normal, and Lee Ann shivered again, but this time he wasn’t looking at her. He pulled out a credit card, and the girls’ eyes widened.

  “Will the store let us use your card?”

  He shrugged. “No problem. I’ll come with you.”

  “No!” both girls shouted, causing several people to look at them. They ducked their heads in embarrassment, pink tinting their cheeks.

  Cody looked to Lee Ann for help, clearly not grasping the severity of the issue. If he paid, he would have to go into a sexy underwear store with his daughters. But she refused to help him out. After all, he’d just made her admit to herself that she not only wanted to see his butt out of those sexy jeans, but she also wanted his lips all over her as well. She shrugged as if she wasn’t standing there with only half a functioning brain.

  He looked from the girls to the store and back, still not getting it. Then his neck almost snapped as it twisted quickly back in the direction of the store. “You want something from there?”

  The girls both groaned. “Never mind.”