Mastering Rayne (Club Zodiac Book 4)

by Becca Jameson

  She hardly recognized the woman staring back at her. First of all, she was smiling. Second of all, her face was flushed. She was happy. When was the last time she could have said she was actually happy? Not in recent memory.

  She showered, dressed in comfortable weekend clothes—designer jeans, a lightweight beige sweater, and short boots. She needed to get to St. Joseph’s soon. She wasn’t on a specific time schedule. She could come and go when she pleased, but she’d made a promise to herself to never miss a Saturday, even if she was later than usual.

  When she made her way downstairs, she found three people in the living room. In addition to Colin and London, she was surprised to see Detective Pierce Titus. The three of them were seated, each on a different piece of leather furniture.

  Pierce noticed Rayne first and stood. “So sorry. I hope we didn’t disturb you.” He wiped his hands on his khaki pants and continued. “I had a few more questions for London.”

  Rayne waved a hand through the air. “Of course. That’s fine.”

  Colin stood and rounded the sofa to reach Rayne. He slid a hand around to the back of her neck, kissed her gently, and met her gaze, eyes twinkling. “Sleep well?”

  “Yes.”

  “I need to stop by Zodiac to check on a few things, but then I thought we could go to breakfast?”

  “That sounds good. I’m starving.” She could put off her trip to St. Joseph’s for a while longer. After all, she needed to eat. She wasn’t sure he even knew what she normally did on Saturdays. It wasn’t as if she’d gone into it in great detail.

  Colin released Rayne and turned toward his sister. “Will you be okay if we take off?”

  London smiled. She looked more relaxed and in control every day. The color was coming back to her face. The horror of that night was no longer tormenting her all night. She looked rested. “Of course. Go. I’ll be fine.”

  Pierce nodded. “I just have a few more questions, and then I’ll be heading back to the precinct.”

  Colin grabbed Rayne’s hand and led her toward the kitchen.

  “See you later,” Rayne said to the room at large.

  “Thanks,” London responded.

  Moments later, they were outside and then Rayne was in the passenger seat of Colin’s Tahoe. “How’s the club coming along?” she asked as he started the engine. “We haven’t had a chance to talk about it.”

  “It’s going to take some work, but I love the space. Also, I have a surprise for you.” He glanced at her with a wink.

  She felt giddy at the idea. When had anyone ever surprised her? “At the club?”

  “Yes.” He beamed now.

  “Interesting.” She smiled and couldn’t stop for the entire drive. Maybe she should have been talking, spilling her stupid secrets like she’d promised herself she would do today, but instead, she let her mind wander to the anticipation of a surprise. She came up blank, but it was fun musing.

  Colin parked the car and turned off the engine. Before Rayne could get the seat belt off and open her door, he was at her side, reaching out a hand to help her down. He walked backward several steps while she followed him, finding his excitement curious.

  “I hope you didn’t purchase some sort of bondage equipment you plan to try out on me because I’m starving.”

  “Nope. I’m totally taking you to breakfast. After we stop inside a minute.”

  She furrowed her brow in confusion.

  When they reached the building, she glanced up. She hadn’t been to the site yet, so she had no idea what to expect. She hadn’t even known where it was located until now.

  They were in a strip mall and had walked toward the corner unit. A laminated piece of paper was taped to the door.

  Club Zodiac: Opening Soon.

  A few details were typed out below those larger words.

  Colin opened the front door and ushered her inside. Several voices reached her ears as soon as the door shut and they stepped forward. They were in a lobby area, so she couldn’t see who might be speaking, but she assumed people would be there working.

  And then she thought she recognized a few voices. She twisted her head to face Colin, who was smiling, and then she rushed through the second door on the opposite side of the small reception area.

  She was right. Aaron was there, which wasn’t a surprise since he had come with Colin from Florida to open Zodiac. But more importantly, Lincoln was there, and so was Sasha. Rayne hadn’t seen the owner of the Miami club or his wife in a year. She rushed forward, closing the distance as Sasha spotted her and did the same thing.

  Seconds later, they were embraced in a long hug. It felt so good to see Sasha. Until that moment, Rayne hadn’t realized how much she missed her friends. She’d been so busy over the past year, and she’d forced herself not to dwell on what she’d left behind—namely the first people she’d ever had close relationships with. And she wasn’t sure it was even fair to say those relationships were close since she had never opened up much to any of them. Not even Rowen, Sasha’s brother, whom she’d dated for a year.

  Rayne held Sasha’s shoulders and smiled at her. “What a great surprise.”

  Sasha giggled. “Yep. I was going to call you and tell you we were coming, but then Colin suggested it would be a nice surprise.”

  Really? When did he make that decision? She glanced at him and then found herself in Lincoln’s embrace as he pulled her away from Sasha. “So good to see you. How are you?”

  “Good,” Rayne said. It’s what people said when asked that question, right? “Opened my own law office. Keeping busy. How are you guys?”

  “I’m still working at the preschool. Lincoln is still flipping houses and bossing me around both at the club and at home.”

  Lincoln narrowed his gaze at Sasha. “Which you must enjoy because that sassy mouth has earned you disciplinary action before the day has barely started.”

  Sasha flushed and gave a shaky giggle before she tugged Rayne away from the men. “Let’s explore. Have you been here yet?”

  “No. This is my first time,” Rayne responded as Sasha tucked her hand in the crook of Rayne’s elbow and kept walking.

  It wasn’t until they got out of earshot that Sasha stopped. Her expression had changed. Her eyes were dancing. “So, spill. What’s up with you and Colin?”

  It was Rayne’s turn to flush. She glanced down at the floor which was currently nothing but concrete. Apparently extensive renovations were about to take place. The room was gutted. “I’m not sure. We’re still feeling each other out.”

  “Come on. It seems like more than that. He’s staying at your house, and I heard you say you’re going out to breakfast with him? Is he sleeping in your bed?” Sasha was blunt. She was a few years younger than Rayne. The two of them had gotten close while Rayne was dating Sasha’s brother. Luckily they had not lost their friendship after the amicable split. They had, however, spoken with less frequency since Rayne left Miami.

  Suddenly Rayne felt the full weight of that loss. But she wasn’t going to think about that now. Not when Sasha had asked a question and was looking at Rayne like the cat who’d eaten the canary. She flushed. “Yes.”

  Sasha clapped her hands together. “That’s so exciting. I bet he’s the perfect match for you. I don’t know why I never realized this years ago.”

  “Why do you say that?” Rayne was curious to know how other people saw her in the fetish world.

  Sasha shrugged. “I don’t know. Since you and Rowen never quite clicked, I figured you would probably ultimately find yourself into a slightly different kink or something. I never bought into the notion that you weren’t made for the D/s world.”

  Rayne knew what Sasha meant. It wasn’t Rowen who had told her that. It was Rayne herself. She hadn’t quite figured out what made her tick while she’d been a member of Zodiac. It had always niggled in the back of her mind, something she couldn’t put her finger on.

  Sasha continued. “I didn’t figure you were a twenty-four-seven kind of
gal, nor were you into pain. The only times I watched you attempt a flogging or a whip, you never fully relaxed.”

  Rayne cringed. “Yeah, pain doesn’t really do it for me. Well, except for spanking. That I can get into.” She winked at her friend.

  Sasha laughed and then snapped her fingers. “It’s bondage that you like, isn’t it?”

  Rayne flushed deeper, a smile forming that she couldn’t stop. She glanced away to avoid Sasha’s intensity.

  “It is.” Sasha’s voice rose, and then she glanced around to make sure the men weren’t listening. “Colin’s an excellent rigger.”

  “Indeed, he is.” Even though they hadn’t seen each other in a year, Sasha was dead-on. Something about her accurate assessment made Rayne feel nostalgic for their friendship. She leaned forward, hugged Sasha close, and then spoke through choked-back emotion. “Let’s stay in touch better this time. I miss you.”

  Sasha nodded. “I miss you too.”

  Thirty minutes later, Rayne followed Colin into a busy coffee shop around the corner from the Zodiac location. He had his fingers threaded in hers and pulled her in front of him as he stepped into the line. “Have you ever been here?” he asked.

  “No. I guess I never got out much until now.”

  His hands ran up and down her arms as he tugged her back against his front. “They have amazing breakfast sandwiches and will make you any type of drink you want. I know you don’t drink coffee, but they have several types of tea too.”

  It had already been an emotional morning. Rayne nearly lost the last inch of control she had over her emotions at that innocuous statement. She swallowed, trying to stop the tears from slipping. Finally, she had to reach up a hand and dab at her eye.

  Colin immediately swung his head around her to stare at her face. “What’s wrong?” He held her biceps tighter and leaned close.

  She shook her head. “Nothing. Being silly.”

  “Well, share your nothing with me. Please.” His voice was earnest and concerned.

  She needed to turn a new leaf and let him in further. “You noticed I don’t drink coffee,” she whispered, her lip trembling.

  He gave her a goofy grin as his face loosened. “I’m staying at your house, babe. How could I not know this?”

  She pursed her lips.

  He held her closer and kissed her forehead before walking them both forward with the line. He left her alone with her thoughts while they waited and then they ordered and moved to the side to wait for their food and drinks.

  “Hey there, honey,” came a shaky voice from their right.

  Rayne turned at the same time as Colin to find an older woman in her seventies holding a to-go bag in one hand and a coffee in the other. She was smiling at Colin. “You never told me you had a lady friend,” the woman added, winking.

  Colin beamed. “You never asked,” he teased her. His next words shook Rayne’s foundation to the core. “This is Rayne,” he told the woman. “Rayne this is Sylvia, one of my clients.”

  The blood drained from Rayne’s face. This was Sylvia? She somehow managed to nod and smile. “So nice to meet you.”

  Sylvia returned her smile with great warmth. “The pleasure is mine.” She turned her gaze toward Colin. “So good to see you. Same time this week? Ten o’clock.”

  “Yep. See you then.”

  Sylvia made her way out of the coffee shop, leaving Rayne staring after her and feeling like the biggest fool on the planet. “I’m such a bitch.”

  Colin chuckled. Apparently he was amused by her stupidity. “No, you’re not.”

  “Yeah, I kinda am.” She lifted her gaze to him. “I’m so sorry.”

  “It’s done.” He leaned forward to kiss her lips briefly. “You aren’t entirely to blame for the misunderstanding. I was being very stubborn to let you believe Sylvia was some young girl who couldn’t wait for me to come visit her.”

  She held his gaze. “It won’t happen again.”

  He pulled her against him. “Stop beating yourself up. We’re moving on.”

  She hesitated and then took a breath and spoke the words that would change everything. “I spend my Saturday mornings at a residential treatment facility called St. Joseph’s outside of Denver. Would you like to come with me?”

  He smiled broadly. “I can’t think of anything I’d rather do.”

  CHAPTER 19

  Colin had followed Rayne’s directions to St. Joseph’s, wondering the entire time what she did there. He’d known she volunteered somewhere a few times a week outside of the women’s shelters, but that was all he’d known.

  For some reason, Rayne was obviously nervous as he parked, wringing her hands together. She made no move to get out of the Tahoe.

  He waited, sensing she had something she wanted to say. “My father came here twice a week until he died. I feel obligated to continue in his absence.”

  “Okay.” He wasn’t sure what to say, but thought it best to say little and let her explain.

  “I need to warn you.” She stared down at her lap, not meeting his gaze.

  He waited in silence, not moving for a while. When she didn’t continue, he reached out and set his hand over hers where they were wadded up together in her lap. “Whatever it is, it’s okay, you know. There is nothing you can say or do or show me that will change things between us.”

  She nodded slowly, her gaze still fixed on her lap. “You say that now, but you might change your mind when we get inside. Please, just go with the flow. Let me get through this morning, and then I’ll explain better afterward if you’re still willing to listen.” She lifted her face and met his gaze finally.

  The pain in her eyes tore him to shreds. He couldn’t imagine what about her volunteer job at this mental facility would have her so unsettled.

  “I need you to understand something,” she continued. “The reason I’ve never spoken of my private life to anyone alive is because my father pounded it into me. That doesn’t excuse my own choices, however.”

  “What choices?”

  She swallowed. “The choice to carve out my own life, even if it was selfish.”

  “Is it possible that years of suppressing your secrets have blown them out of proportion?”

  She swallowed and met his gaze. “I know that’s the case, and I would have totally agreed with you until you told me that story about Sarah. Ever since then, I’ve been scared out of my mind that you won’t be able to understand what I did.”

  He watched her expression, his heart ripping apart. Nothing made sense. He had no idea what she was talking about. All he could do was follow her lead here. Pressuring her to explain further right now would only cause her more duress.

  He leaned closer and lifted her hands to his face to kiss her knuckles. “I’m right by your side. We’ll work through this demon together.”

  She nodded, uncertainty in her eyes.

  He released her hands, opened the car door, and exited. By the time he got to her side, she was already out of the car, leaning against the side. She didn’t look eager to go inside yet.

  “Are we visiting anyone in particular here?” She had yet to mention her mother. Was she perhaps a patient here? Or had she been? He’d begun to think her mother had died. Maybe she’d even committed suicide or something. That would explain a huge family secret. It could be that she’d suffered from mental illness and was no longer living. Maybe she’d lived here at one time and after she passed, her husband had started volunteering to give back to society.

  Now he was totally inventing possibilities. His mind was wandering all over the place.

  Rayne sighed. “I never know who I’m going to visit until the nurse, Suzette, tells me.”

  “Okay.” So, she was a volunteer.

  “It’s impossible to explain. You wouldn’t believe me if I tried. So, it will be easier to just show you.”

  “Okay,” he repeated. He tugged her hand, hoping to encourage her to head inside. She was torturing herself for no reason.

  Sh
e inhaled slowly again and shoved off the car.

  They entered the front door in silence, and then a woman behind the desk smiled. “Hey, Rayne. How are you?” Her gaze darted back and forth between Rayne and Colin.

  “I’m good. This is my boyfriend, Colin. Colin, this is Suzette. She’s a gem.”

  Colin’s heart swelled at the way Rayne had introduced him, calling him her boyfriend without flinching.

  Suzette rounded the desk and shook Colin’s hand. “Nice to meet you.”

  Rayne chewed on her bottom lip before asking, “Who am I seeing today?”

  Suzette grimaced slightly. “Chrissy. Sorry. And she’s having a tantrum like the four-year-old she is.”

  Colin was surprised. He had expected this to be an adult facility. They had children here? He looked around. There were no young people in sight.

  Suzette turned and led them down the hallway. She stopped at a door eventually and pushed it open. “Chrissy, Rayne is here to see you. And she has a friend with her. His name is Colin.”

  When Colin rounded to enter the room behind Rayne, he froze in confusion. There was no child in the room. There was only a grown woman. She was probably in her mid-fifties.

  She had her hair pulled into two pigtails and was wearing a ridiculous pink dress, but she was not a child. When she lifted her gaze from where she sat on the floor, he saw she was scowling. In her hand was a Barbie. On the floor was a playhouse. “They won’t let me go outside,” she complained, pouting.

  Suzette wandered away without a word.

  Rayne walked into the room farther and bent down next to the woman. “I’m sorry. It’s going to rain. I’m sure you’ll have more fun inside today.” Rayne plopped down next to the woman and picked up a second Barbie. “We can play in your room.”

  Colin couldn’t move. He tried hard to wrap his mind around what was happening. Finally, Rayne lifted her head and turned to face him at the same time the other woman did.

  Suddenly, everything was clear as day to him. Chrissy was her mother. They looked exactly alike. They had the same green eyes and straight, silky hair. Chrissy’s was graying, but he knew it had once been brown. They had the same nose too. Even their build was similar.