Next to Forever (Never Letting Go)

by Moose, S

  “Thank you, officer. If you need us, please give us a call.”

  “Will do.” The officers leave and Vander’s being taken away on a stretcher. His eyes don’t open and I don’t know the damage of his injuries but I don’t care. He stole everything from me.

  “Come on, baby. Let’s go home.”

  During the car ride home, I look out the window, Connor calls Albert to tell him I won’t be coming back, and Albert understands, and said to take as much time as I need. I barely have energy to move or talk. More tears flow from my eyes. Connor grabs my hand and brings me close to him. We sit in silence for a while until I have the energy to move.

  “Come on, let’s go inside.” Connor wraps his arm around my waist and we head inside to Adam and Sophia’s house. I don’t feel like talking to anyone, so Connor takes me straight to the room where we’ve been staying. Every time I look at Connor, I feel thankful and a little better, but the events of today stays with me. I can’t get Vander’s smug smile and dark eyes out of my head.

  Connor kneels in front of me with a smile on his face. “Everything’s going to get better, okay? I’m not going to let anything happen to you. I love you Erin and I’m so happy you’re okay but please, baby, no more beating the shit out of people.” He laughs, rubbing my knee. “I’m so glad you’re okay,” he cradles my face.

  “Are we okay, Connor?” I look away from him, not wanting to see his expression. “Our connection isn’t as strong. How’d you know where I’d be? What aren’t you telling me?”

  Connor rests his head down on my knees and takes a few deep breaths. “I had Steven follow you around and he texted me to tell me where you were.”

  “Why, Connor? Why does this need to happen? I can take care of myself!” I push him away and get up from the bed. Throwing my arms in the air, I start yelling t him. “You can’t keep this shit from me. Stop having me followed and trust me that I’ll be okay!”

  “Erin! I’m fucking sorry for trying to keep you fucking safe!”

  “Don’t swear at me, Connor! I get it, all right? But I’m so over it. You have to stop trying to control everything!”

  “Sorry for caring. God! What the hell do you want from me?”

  “NOTHING! I want YOU! I want OUR life back! Is that too much to ask for?”

  “I’m trying, okay?” Connor’s body is tense and his hands are in a fist by his side. “I’ve been working my ass off to make sure you have everything and that we have the best life.”

  Connor’s right. He’s been working so much and does everything he can to make sure I’m happy. I walk over to him and try to remain calm. I know that he’s doing this because he loves me, but I don’t like these secrets and being kept in the dark. “Just please be honest with me, okay?” Connor reaches his hand up, grabbing my neck and pulling me to him. He holds me tight as if he’s going to lose me and whispers how sorry he is. My body finally relaxes in his arms and that lost connection is gone. Connor and I are one again, the way it should be.

  Adam is making dinner with Sophia when Connor and I make it downstairs.

  “Done fighting yet?” Sophia asks, looking up at me with sad eyes.

  “We’re okay.” Connor kisses the side of my head and goes over to Adam to help him with dinner.

  Sophia and I talk more about the baby shower and what needs to be done. She feels bad and doesn’t want me to help plan but I’m her best friend, and I wouldn’t have it any other way. It does make me sad because I should be planning my baby shower too, but Aria is in Heaven where she’s safe, and one day I’ll see her again.

  “When are you guys going to find out if you’re going to have a boy or girl?”

  Sophia looks at Adam, both of them smiling. “We’re going to wait and see. I want to be surprised and so does Adam.”

  “$100 that you’re having a boy,” Connor yells, raising his arm in the air.

  We all start laughing and finishing prepping dinner when Connor’s phone starts ringing. He wipes his hands on a washcloth and answers his phone. We all stop what we’re doing to listen and see who he’s talking to. Connor’s body tenses and his voice is low.

  “Are you fucking serious?” There’s a pause and my heart is racing. This has to be about Vander. Nodding his head, he tells the other person bye and to make sure they keep us all up to date.

  “Connor?” Sophia asks before I can say anything.

  “Vander’s gone. He escaped from the hospital and no one knows where he is.” My eyes go wide with shock and fear. What the fuck is going to happen now?

  Dinner’s really quiet and the fear of Vander around Charlotte is killing all of us. Sophia keeps looking at Adam but he doesn’t say anything. His eyes are lost and full of fear. I hate seeing everyone like this. Connor’s holding my hand but no one is saying anything. Vander can’t keep taking away our lives and pieces of all of us.

  “We can’t just sit here and do nothing.”

  “Baby, what else do you want to do?” Connor responds back.

  “We’re not going to go looking for him. He’s mental and who knows what the fuck he’ll do. You’re lucky that he didn’t hurt you at the café, Erin.”

  “I know that. Thanks, Adam.”

  Abruptly, Sophia stands up, knocking her chair. “Enough of this shit! We can’t let Vander do this to us. We have to trust that he’ll be caught and we have to be safe, okay!?”

  Sophia runs from the kitchen with Adam following her.

  “I want to go to bed,” I softly whisper to Connor.

  “Okay, come on.” He puts down his napkin and wraps his arm around my shoulder.

  “I did this for us, Erin. I love you and I want you. You’ll be mine soon.”

  I suddenly wake up. The sheets are twisted around my body and I’m soaking wet in sweat. Connor’s peacefully sleeping with his face turned away from me. I rub my eyes and look at the time. It’s five in the morning. Not wanting to go back to bed, I head downstairs. When I reach the kitchen, Adam’s standing over the sink with his hands on the counter, head hanging low.

  “Adam?”

  He turns around and I see how red his eyes are. The dark circles under his eyes are evident of his lack of sleep and stress. “Hey, sorry if I woke you up,” he quietly responds.

  “It’s okay. Why are you up so early?”

  He sighs, walking over to the kitchen table. “I can’t sleep. I keep thinking about Vander and how he’s out there. It’s like Kyle all over again. Sophia was up crying most of the night. She’s scared of Vander and of losing the baby.”

  “Everything’s going to be alright. We have to believe that.” I have to keep telling myself that Vander can’t hurt us again. Our lives can’t handle any more problems and we have to be strong and stand as one. The torn feelings in my heart consume my thoughts, day and night. Even though I’m telling myself that Vander can’t hurt us, there’s something nagging inside of me. What else can he do to us?

  After a few hours of lying around and trying to keep busy, Sophia comes downstairs dressed in yoga pants and a sweater.

  “Erin, do you want to go to the spa? I need to get away and staying home isn’t helping.”

  I look at Connor and Adam before answering. I know this isn’t what they want but Sophia has a point. Us staying home isn’t good for anyone, and we need to continue on with our lives.

  “Connor?”

  Connor looks at Adam and they both nod. “Can you please let Steven take you and stay with you both?”

  “Yes,” Sophia and I both answer.

  I walk over to Connor, giving him a kiss and telling him it’ll be all right.

  Steven picks us up and we drive to the Spa. I can tell Sophia’s scared and I feel helpless. Her head is against the window, looking outside. I wish there were words to take away both of our fears but at this point, we just have to live day by day.

  “Soph, we’re here. Come on, girl, let’s get our relax on.”

  The reception area is nice and the girls are really helpfu
l. We both get the deluxe package, which includes a ninety-minute massage, a sixty-minute facial, while finishing with a manicure and pedicure. Finally, time to hopefully relax.

  Chapter Twenty-Three

  Connor

  I hate that I’m not with Erin right now but she needs to relax and Steven’s with them at the spa. There’s still no word on Vander and no one seems to have any answers for us. I’m glad that the police officers are helping and keeping us updated but I hate that this fucking crazy asshole is still out there. Who knows what he’s capable of and at this point, I’m scared to know.

  Adam and I have been working from home, and luckily, the board agrees we need to take care of the girls. We’ve been Skyping back and forth. Everything seems to be running smoothly.

  The urge to keep Erin safe keeps pushing on my mind. There’s nothing else that matters and I can’t, no, I won’t lose her. I need to keep Erin safe and away from harm. Every night I lay awake thinking about Erin and what’s going to happen. I’m glad she can take care of herself but what if he had a gun? What if something happened to her? All of these thoughts are plaguing my mind.

  “Babe?” Erin softly says, turning her body to face mine. “Are you okay?”

  “Of course not, baby. I keep thinking about what would’ve happened if I lost you. I can’t live without you, Erin. You’re my whole life and without you, I’m just a man with nothing. Don’t you get it? I love you so much. So much.”

  Erin wipes the tears from her eyes. “I know and I’m sorry. I love you too. Don’t you think I worry too? But I needed to stand up for myself, Connor. I know you’re protecting me but I’m still here and I’m not going anywhere.”

  “Don’t you understand how much you mean to me?”

  “Yes,” she says, caressing my face. “Because I feel the same way. You’re my everything, Connor. My whole life.”

  Without thinking, I crash my lips into hers. I need this. I need her. I force my tongue into her willing mouth as she lets out a pleasurable moan.

  Shit. I need to be inside her.

  Pulling down her panties and lifting off her shirt. I thrust myself inside of her and bury myself deep into her. Erin claws my back, wanting more so I give her more.

  “Yes, Connor! Oh my God! Yes!”

  “Baby, come. I can’t hold on much longer.”

  “Almost,” she breathes, looking at me, “there.”

  Damn. I love when she looks at me when we’re having sex. Inside her eyes, I see our life. Our future. I don’t think I could ever love her more.

  After finding our release, I hold her close to my heart and listen to her soft breathing.

  “No matter what,” I say, playing with her hair, “I’m always, always going to keep you safe.”

  When I wake up, Erin’s still sleeping. I don’t want to wake her up, so I slowly get out of bed and head downstairs to make breakfast. By the time I make it downstairs, Adam’s by the stove drinking his coffee.

  “Morning,” I say, pouring myself a cup of coffee.

  “Hey. How’d you sleep last night?”

  “Alright,” shrugging my shoulders, “Still mad as fuck. Where the hell is he?”

  “I wish I knew,” Adam states, turning around to face me. The dark circles under his eyes tell me that he’s not sleeping well either. It’s hard going through the motions and not letting our own fears get in the way. But what else can we do? Someone, some fucking psycho is after us and those who mean the world to us. The only thing on my mind is making sure no one comes near my family.

  My world.

  Adam and I catch up with some notes and emails from Joseph. It’s almost Christmas and we agree to give the office some early time off. Family is important and we want that vision for our company. There will always be work but time is so precious. We don’t want our company to be all about work and dollar signs. Our employees are people, too. People with lives and families. People that live outside of work. They’re not robots. And I’m sure Joseph and Aly want some alone time as well. He’s been working hard in our absence, so this will be a nice surprise.

  Adam sends out the mass email and in minutes, we’re getting messages of thanks and wishes of a blessed holiday. It feels good to have done this for everyone.

  “Three weeks without work,” I say, leaning back in my chair. “Do you think our investors will be okay?”

  “We’ll be fine. It may look bad that we’re shutting down but it’s necessary. Plus Father used to do this all the time. So we’ll have a lot to do when we go back next year but it’s worth it.”

  “Good point. And you’re right, we do need it.”

  The doorbell rings and I get up to answer the door. When I open it, a smile comes on my face. “Mother, Father. What a nice surprise.” The three of us hug and Adam emerges from the office, walking toward us smiling.

  “Sorry we haven’t talked you to since Thanksgiving. Things have been hectic,” Adam explains, rubbing his eyes and brushing back his hair. I wish I could tell him to get some sleep but he won’t listen to me. Maybe Sophia can talk some sense into him.

  “Hello, boys,” Mother says, giving us both a kiss on our cheeks. I take her coat and shake Father’s hand.

  “What are you guys up to? This is a nice surprise.”

  “Your father and I just wanted to come by and see how everyone’s doing.” Adam explains what’s been going on as we walk to the kitchen and sit at the table. We get coffee for our parents, and Adam turns on the stove to make breakfast for them.

  “Where are the girls?” Father asks, looking around the living room and kitchen. “Are they still sleeping?”

  “Yes,” Adam and I both answer.

  “It seems like they can only sleep during the day.” I get food from the refrigerator, eggs, bacon, and sausage. I crack seven eggs, add some salt, pepper, and put butter in the pan.

  “Well, they’ve been through a lot, so I’m not surprised. How are you boys holding up? Nothing on Vander?” We both shake our heads. “Your Father and I are so worried. I don’t understand what’s going on. We have a team looking through Vander’s records and trying to find out what happened, but there’s no real answer.”

  “I don’t know what to say. Vander just up and left. We’re hoping he’ll make the same mistake again but it’s unlikely,” I explain. “Plus, if I see him,” my voice trails off. I don’t want to worry anyone but if I find Vander, he’s going to wish we never met.

  We spend the morning catching up with our parents. It’s good to see them happy but they’re worried just like any parent would be if their child were in this crappy situation.

  By noon, Adam and I decide to go wake up the girls. When I go into the room, Sophia is in bed with Erin. They’re watching a movie and are quiet when I come in.

  “Are you girls okay?

  “Yeah,” Erin answers, “Sorry we didn’t come downstairs. I hope they aren’t mad at us. I had a bad dream and Soph came in to keep me company.”

  Damn, another nightmare. They’re getting worse and Doctor Taylor says Erin needs to talk more about it. When we’re together and she’s sleeping, I can’t take my eyes off her. When she has her nightmares, I can’t wake her up and her body gets stiff, full of fear. I want to be able to steal away her fears but she needs time. We all do.

  I walk over to the girls and kneel down next to Erin. “I’m sorry this is happening and I wish I could take it away and make you both feel safe again. Just remember, we’re doing everything we can to find Vander, okay?”

  “We know, Connor.”

  I kiss Erin’s hand and give a wink to Sophia.

  Chapter Twenty-Four

  Erin

  December comes around and the cold weather is a nice change. We haven’t heard anything from Vander or any updates from the cops. Connor put the house up for sale and now we’re living with Adam and Sophia. It sucks that we don’t have our own place but at least we have our friends near us.

  I take out my things from the box and lay them out o
n the dresser. The guest bedroom is big and comfortable. We didn’t bring anything from the house since who knows what Vander could’ve done. Our things are tainted, and I’d rather buy new things than risk having Vander close to us.

  I light a candle and start organizing my things. I place the pictures of Connor and me on the night stand and smile when I pick up the picture of us in St. Lucia. We’re happy, and obviously, so in love. His arm is around my shoulders, and I’m hugging his waist. “I love you so much, Connor,” I whisper.

  I haven’t been to work in the past few weeks and told him that I won’t be going back. I can’t function and deal with the outside world. I know it’s something I’ll regret, but I have to work on my life and get better before I get back into the real world.

  My parents are coming by today to take me out but I don’t want to go anywhere. The nightmares are getting worse, and I’ve been seeing Doctor Taylor but I won’t take any pills. Sophia keeps me company and we’ve been getting ready for Christmas. There are days when I don’t want to get out of bed and other days where I’m fine and ready to take on the world. I hate these mood swings, and I feel bad for Connor but he’s been by my side and won’t leave.

  There’s a knock on my bedroom door. “Come in.”

  My mom walks in and gives me a hug. “How are you holding up, sweetie?”

  The concern in her voice kills me. I hate that everyone is worried about me. I just want my life to be back to normal. “I’m fine, mom. Trust me. Everything’s fine.” I give her a smile, letting her know everything’s okay but I can’t fool her.

  “Sit down, honey.”

  We head to my bed and she takes my hand in hers. “I want to tell you something and I think this will help you.” My mom takes a deep breath and wipes a tear from her eye. “Your father and I wanted to have three kids. That was our dream and when we found out I was pregnant with twins, Oh Erin, our world was filled with so much happiness, and we couldn’t wait.” She pauses and looks at me. “I was six months pregnant when I lost your brothers.” My hand goes to my mouth and I start crying. I can’t believe she never told me this. “It was hard and I fell into a horrible depression. Your father, the wonderful man he is, kept me alive though. I’m telling you this because, honey, I survived, and I want you to know that you’re not alone. There’s not a day that goes by that I don’t think of Eric and Patrick. Aria will always live in our hearts and no one will ever forget her, but baby, don’t pause your life because you’re sad.”