Compulsion
Page 19
She passes me a hot cup of cocoa. “Soy cocoa,” she says. “Soy is better for you than regular cow milk. Marshmallows.” She drops in a handful. “Not organic. Organic marshmallows taste like compost.”
I cradle the cup in my hands. Eight marshmallows. I flick one out.
Seven. OK.
“Are you okay?” She links her arm with mine.
The acid bubbles from my stomach, leaving a nasty film in my mouth. I sip on the cocoa, the hot liquid burning my throat, melting through the ice that has formed there, leaving me mute all these years. The spiders spin and weave their webs through every nerve, squeezing, crunching, reminding me I did everything wrong this morning.
Everything is wrong.
Everything has been wrong for a long time. But I don’t know how this can make it any better.
“Are you okay?” she repeats.
The words form in my brain, breaking through the fog, slipping through the silky webs. I cup Mera’s hand in mine, swallowing again.
“I don’t think so.”
Acknowledgments
I am so grateful for:
An amazing team at HarperCollins that works so hard doing a million things to make my books the best they can and make sure my books get out there: Cindy Hamilton, Renée Cafiero, Emilie Ziemer, Laura Lutz, and Jenny Rozbruch.
My first publisher, Laura Geringer, who took a chance on me, and my current publishers, Alessandra Balzer and Donna Bray, who continue to believe in my work.
My amazing editor, Ruta Rimas, who knows how to ask the right questions, pushing me to my limits as a writer.
My out-of-this-universe agent, who trusts in my crazy notions, somehow knowing that those vague ideas in my head can become novels.
My critique group and family who believed before I did.
Finally, this book would be nowhere without Lisa. She trusted me with her stories. She took a risk, sharing her world with me, and without her help, I would never have been able to imagine Jake.
Mental illness, of any kind, is commonly misdiagnosed, ignored; and those who suffer often suffer alone. I hope that this book, in some way, will open a door and maybe give someone who does suffer the courage to come forward. You are not alone.
About the Author
Heidi AyArbe grew up in Nevada and has lived all over the world. She now makes her home in Colombia with her husband and daughter. She is also the author of FREEZE FRAME and COMPROMISED. You can visit her online at www.heidiayarbe.com.
Visit www.AuthorTracker.com for exclusive information on your favorite HarperCollins authors.
Also by Heidi Ayarbe
FREEZE FRAME
COMPROMISED
Copyright
Compulsion
Copyright © 2011 by Heidi Ayarbe
All rights reserved under International and Pan-American Copyright Conventions. By payment of the required fees, you have been granted the nonexclusive, nontransferable right to access and read the text of this e-book on-screen. No part of this text may be reproduced, transmitted, downloaded, decompiled, reverse-engineered, or stored in or introduced into any information storage and retrieval system, in any form or by any means, whether electronic or mechanical, now known or hereinafter invented, without the express written permission of HarperCollins e-books.
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Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data
Ayarbe, Heidi.
Compulsion / Heidi Ayarbe. — 1st ed.
p. cm.
Summary: Poised to lead his high school soccer team to its third straight state championship, seventeen-year-old star player Jake Martin struggles to keep hidden his nearly debilitating obsessive-compulsive disorder.
ISBN 978-0-06-199386-2 (trade bdg.)
[1. Soccer—Fiction. 2. Obsessive-compulsive disorder—Fiction. 3. Emotional problems—Fiction. 4. Interpersonal relations—Fiction. 5. High schools—Fiction. 6. Schools—Fiction.] I. Title.
PZ7.A9618Con 2011
[Fic]—dc22
2010027826
CIP
AC
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EPub Edition © 2011 ISBN: 9780062076991
11 12 13 14 15 CG/RRDB 10 9 8 7 6 5 4 3 2 1
First Edition
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