Spurred On

by Sabrina York

  “Like I said, you’re not the marrying type.”

  “I could be.”

  “How? When? In what alternate universe?”

  “You’re not being reasonable.”

  Reasonable? Seriously? He had two naked women in his bed. He was carrying a bucket of ice with champagne in it. His shirt was unbuttoned.

  “What on earth could you possibly say? How could you explain this?” He opened his mouth, but she didn’t let him answer. She couldn’t bear to hear his tired excuses. “It doesn’t matter, Cody. Whatever you have to say, it won’t make a difference at all. We are done.”

  “Done?” His face fell. His expression skewered her. “But—”

  “Please. Just let me pass. I need to leave.” Now. Forever.

  He took a step back. Shook his head. “I . . . I don’t know what else to say. But I love you, Sidney. I always will.”

  She nodded, even though she didn’t believe him. She nodded, because she couldn’t handle any more. She nodded and she left, as quickly and quietly as she could.

  And she couldn’t help feeling like she’d left something precious behind her.

  A future that could have been.

  If only it hadn’t been made of spun sugar.

  Chapter Twenty-one

  It wasn’t fair.

  It really wasn’t.

  Not only had he not invited those women to his room, he’d been in the process of setting up a romantic interlude for her. He’d planned to help her finish work tonight and whisk her to his room for a nice, slow seduction.

  And now, not only had she stormed off—declaring they were finished—he had two barracudas stinking up his sheets.

  What a mess.

  Cody shook his head and scrubbed his face. How on earth was he going to explain things to her? When she didn’t even want to listen?

  He thought about following her, but decided it would be better to give her some time to cool down. No doubt they could talk it all over tomorrow . . . and maybe even laugh about it.

  It was almost funny, in a slapstick kind of way. It was a running joke with his siblings, how often women found their way into his room. Surely Sidney could see that this was simply a by-product of the work he did.

  Surely she would believe him once he told her everything.

  But a small, dark voice in the back of his mind whispered that he was screwed. And not in the good way.

  “Hey.” A deep voice behind him shattered his dismal reverie. He turned to see Logan coming out of his room. Logan had attended the party with Hanna, but had spent the weekend in their suite, working. Logan’s grin faded as he took in Cody’s expression. “What’s wrong?”

  He shook his head, unable to form words.

  “Hey buddy.” Logan stepped toward him, but stilled when he glanced into Cody’s bedroom. His gaze flicked back to Cody’s face. He grimaced and whispered, “Do you need some help?”

  God bless Logan. He always had been one to size up a situation in a heartbeat. He tipped his head down the hall. “Come with me. The guys and I are playing poker.”

  Cody blinked. The guys? What guys? But there was no time to delay. He could hear the women dressing and they no doubt intended to ambush him in the hall, and the last thing he wanted to do right now was confront them. No doubt he’d lose his temper and cuss them a blue streak and that could be bad for business. So he quickly followed his friend into his room.

  His relief when the door closed on him, was immense. But still, anxiety roiled in his gut. He set down the champagne and scrubbed his face and struggled to regain his composure. Charlie and Ford, who were seated at the table, studied him with concerned expressions.

  “What happened there?” Logan asked.

  Cody lifted a shoulder. For some reason, he still couldn’t process. Surely it wasn’t that trickle of dread in his gut.

  Ford poured him a couple of fingers of whiskey and waved him into a seat. Cody tossed the drink back and then poured another. It was a few minutes before he could speak, but they waited.

  “There were two women in my room,” he said with a sigh. “Naked.”

  Charlie chuckled. “Well, damn, man. Good for you.”

  “No. It’s not good,” he muttered. It was never good when that happened. “They snuck in there. Sidney saw them.”

  “Oh. Shit,” Logan said.

  Ford wrinkled his brow. “Why is that bad?”

  “Because Cody and Sidney are . . .” Logan waved his hand illustratively.

  “You don’t say,” Ford murmured. He shot a glance at Charlie. “When did that happen?”

  Charlie shrugged. “I don’t know. No one ever tells me anything.”

  “Not even Claire?” Ford asked. “In my experience, she doesn’t keep much to herself.”

  “That is true, but she didn’t mention this.”

  “Because,” Cody scrubbed his face, “she doesn’t approve.”

  “She doesn’t approve?” Logan shook his head. “Sidney is awesome. Why wouldn’t she approve?” Although they weren’t related yet, Logan had accepted Sidney as his sister-in-law and was acting just like a protective older brother. In other circumstances, Cody would have found this amusing. At the moment, not so much.

  “Claire wanted me to marry Porsche.”

  “What?” Ford bellowed.

  Cody glared him down. “Chillax. She wanted me to marry Porsche. They had some childhood pact or something. I don’t know. But it hardly matters. I love Sidney.”

  This announcement fell like a nuclear winter.

  Silence and shock rocketed around the room.

  “Love?” Logan said. “As in love love?”

  Cody hung his head and nodded. “Yeah.”

  “You don’t sound happy.”

  “Did I mention she just found two naked women in my bed?”

  “That could be a snag,” Charlie said. “Did you explain it to her?”

  “I tried. She wouldn’t listen.”

  Ford patted him on the shoulder. “You need to give her a little time.”

  “Right.”

  “You should talk to her in the morning.”

  “I will.” If she was still here. Oh, God, he hoped she’d still be here.

  “Have you told her how you feel about her?” Logan asked.

  Cody nodded and raked his hair.

  “What did she say when you told her you loved her?”

  “Wow.”

  Logan’s eyes flared. He shared a chagrined glance with Ford. “Wow?”

  Charlie scrubbed his face. “Not wow, man. Not wow.”

  Cody frowned. “What’s wrong with wow?”

  “In the female tongue,” Ford said, “it’s the worst word you can hear. In any circumstance.”

  “Except when you say something that is truly amazing,” Charlie added.

  “Like what?”

  “I pulled one hundred and fifty sit-ups this morning.”

  Logan stared at Charlie in awe. “Wow.”

  “See?” Ford said. “Like that.”

  “Okay, okay.” Cody slashed at the air with his hand. “She said wow. What now?”

  “Hey, that rhymed,” Charlie said, but Cody ignored him. He was probably drunk.

  It occurred to him that these guys weren’t going to help him at all. What he really needed was to find Sidney and make her listen.

  He tossed back his second drink and stood. “I need to talk to her,” he said as he left the room. He wouldn’t be able to sleep until he did.

  “Hey,” Ford called as he headed into the hall. “Thanks for the champagne.”

  Cody ignored him. He was a man on a mission.

  What a pity he didn’t find her that night.

  And he didn’t find her the next morning either, though it was clear from what
Lisa and Claire said she was still here and neck deep in duties. All that aside, no matter where he looked, he didn’t see hide nor hair of her.

  It was pretty clear she was avoiding him.

  And damn it, that sucked.

  ***

  It wasn’t hard evading Cody, because Sidney had apparently developed some kind of radar for his presence. She’d get that humming buzz in her head and she’d know he was close, and she’d jet away to some other spot.

  Not that she was hiding, but she was. She couldn’t face him just yet. Her heart was too bruised.

  She’d thought about leaving last night—oh, she’d thought about it long and hard—but she’d made a commitment to Lisa and Claire and couldn’t leave them in the lurch. But by God, she owed Cody nothing.

  When the party ended and the guests had left, Lisa talked Brandon into making a steak dinner for everyone because she’d heard how talented he was as a chef. It was totally selfish on Lisa’s part, because she was looking for a chef to help with the event catering. And also, Lisa really liked steak.

  Because Hanna and Logan were still at the ranch, Sidney decided to stay too, but it was tough sitting at the table with Cody’s hot gaze on her. It took all her myriad acting skills to pretend not to have a care in the world. After the meal, Porsche pulled her aside and asked if they could have a private chat; Sidney cringed at the thought.

  Just as she suspected, Porsche wanted to come clean about her relationship with Brandon, which was hardly a surprise because Sidney had long since figured that out.

  To make things worse, she wanted to give Sidney a green light to pursue a relationship with Cody.

  And yeah, that only made Sidney feel worse, because she’d already gone poaching on what Porsche had considered her personal property.

  Of course, she didn’t mention that.

  Needless to say, after that conversation and the emotionally draining crap of the day before, Sidney was more than ready to go home. She was fantasizing about putting her feet up, pouring a large flagon of wine and doing as little as possible for the rest of the day. But as she loaded up her car, Claire found her.

  “Hey,” she said, strolling over with her hands behind her back.

  “Hey,” Sidney said.

  “Good work this weekend.”

  “Thanks.”

  Honestly, the last thing she wanted right now was a pep talk. Especially because she planned on giving her notice tomorrow. On the phone. She didn’t want a face-to-face anything at the moment.

  “Listen, Sidney.” Something in Claire’s tone caught her attention.

  She stopped fiddling with her suitcase. “Mmm?”

  “I just . . . wanted to apologize.”

  Her head came up. She stared at Claire. “For what?”

  “I’ve been an ass.”

  Had she been? “I hadn’t noticed.”

  Claire wrinkled her nose. “Are you saying I always act like an ass?”

  “I didn’t say it.”

  With a great gust of breath, Claire continued. “I know I’ve been in a bad mood all weekend, but I had a reason.”

  “Did you?”

  “Yeah. It’s stupid though. Do you want to hear?”

  Sidney leaned against her car and folded her arms. She knew Claire. Whether she wanted to hear or not, she would. “All right.”

  “It has to do with Cody.”

  Crap. Maybe she could still escape . . .

  “When I was a kid, Porsche and I had this fantasy . . .”

  “Yeah?”

  “That one day she’d marry my brother and we’d be sisters.”

  “Claire, that’s hardly a secret. You told everyone.”

  She huffed an impatient sigh. “Let me finish, please.”

  “Okay.”

  “And then, you and Cody—”

  “There’s nothing between me and Cody.”

  “It’s okay. I’m not objecting.”

  “There’s nothing between me and Cody.”

  “Will you let me finish? This is hard. I don’t often apologize.”

  That was true. She should just lean back and enjoy this alien sensation, but instead, she said, “You don’t need to apologize.”

  “I just kind of lost it when I realized that you and Cody had a thing . . . and that Porsche was falling for Brandon and it was all going up in smoke. And . . . I was an ass.”

  “Again, I didn’t notice.” Though Claire had been extraordinarily grumpy, there was no doubt about that.

  “I just wanted you to know I’m sorry and to say . . .” She swallowed hard. “If you and Cody are happy together, I am happy for you.”

  Well, wasn’t that just phe-fucking-nominal. “Claire, there’s nothing between me and Cody and there never will be.”

  “Please. I heard the two of you in the office the other day.”

  Lovely. “That was a brain fart.”

  “I see the way you look at him. The way he looks at you. I get it. I just wanted you to know, I’m cool with it.”

  “Well, I’m happy for you, but for the final time, there’s nothing between us, and there never will be.”

  Clare stared at her, probably on account of the way she spat the words. “What are you saying?”

  “It should be obvious by now.” She’d repeated it several times. In English.

  “But . . . why?” For some reason, Claire seemed perturbed, offended that Sidney didn’t fancy melting into a lusty blob at her philandering brother’s feet.

  “There can never be something real between us because Cody will never change. And neither will I.”

  “What are you talking about?”

  “Last night, when you asked me to go to his room and find him?”

  “Yeah?”

  “There were two naked women in his bed.”

  Claire blinked. “And?”

  And? “Two naked women in his bed.”

  “It’s not the first time that’s happened,” Claire said with a laugh.

  “That doesn’t make it all better, Claire,” she snapped.

  “No. I mean, women sneak into his room all the time. He doesn’t invite them.”

  “How do you know that?”

  “Because he told me.”

  “And that makes it the truth?”

  Claire frowned. “My brother is not a liar. He’s never lied about his escapades. Never tried to explain them away.”

  “Can you explain why he was half naked and had a bucket of champagne?”

  Claire stilled. Her mouth opened. Then closed. “I can see how that might look. But I’m telling you, Cody wouldn’t have done that. Not with the way he feels about you.”

  “Of course not.” Hardly any sarcasm at all.

  “He told me he loved you.”

  “He told me the same thing.”

  “Well, there you go,” Claire said this as though it solved everything. It solved nothing. It merely underscored the truth.

  This conversation was pointless.

  “I have to go.” Sidney shot Claire a quick glance and then, without waiting for a response, slipped into her Mustang, threw it into gear and peeled out.

  It saddened her to leave the ranch, because she’d really felt a part of something here—and more than a too-fleeting fling with Cody. It had felt like a place she could belong.

  She’d never be back, of course.

  She never could.

  She couldn’t bear the thought of seeing Cody again.

  Because she was scared to death he might actually convince her that he was innocent, that he’d done nothing wrong, that he loved her the way she’d always yearned to be loved.

  That he would suck her back in and set her up for an even greater heartbreak.

  And that was the most dangerous thing of
all.

  Chapter Twenty-two

  She left.

  She left and didn’t come back.

  She didn’t give him a chance to explain, or woo her or anything.

  She just left.

  Hell, she didn’t even say good-bye. His only clue was an empty spot in the parking lot where her cherry-red Mustang had been. Even though he’d been expecting it after last night, the reality sent him into the pits of despair.

  He wandered dolefully through the house as the dinner guests departed, trying to avoid conversations with any of them. When he rounded the corner to the kitchen, and realized Claire and Porsche were in there talking, he froze and began creeping back the way he’d come. Their conversation made him still.

  “Claire,” Porsche said in a frustrated tone, one that made clear Claire had been badgering her for far too long. “I was five when I fell in love with Cody. Five.”

  He cringed. He’d known Porsche had a thing for him . . . but for that long?

  When she continued, his mortification rose, along with a prickling at his nape. “I’ve been devoted to a man who never wanted me my entire life, and what have I ever gotten back? Nothing. I never even contemplated another man because of him. And he never looked my way. Never.”

  The thread of heartbreak in her voice was too much for him. He quickly turned and headed upstairs.

  Was he really what they all said? A heartless, selfish man whore? Was he really so out of touch with the other people in his life? So clueless? So self-absorbed?

  Apparently.

  He’d had no idea he’d hurt Porsche so much. Not until he’d heard it in those words. It made his soul ache, because he really did love her . . . as a friend. He hated to think that she’d been mooning over him for all those years, that she’d made him into the cornerstone of her life. And he’d deliberately ignored her.

  Granted, he had good reason. For one thing, he’d been utterly focused on Sidney. And for another, Ford had made it clear Porsche was off-limits.

  But what if he’d been wrong?

  What if he’d been clinging to a hopeless hope with Sidney, and missed out on something fantastic with Porsche?

  It was an old and familiar thought, one he’d had each and every time he asked a woman out. Each and every time he broke up with them as well. As pathetic as it was, as much as that little voice told him he was pushing too hard, he needed to know.