by Sam Crescent
“Tell me the truth. Is she okay?” he asked, needing to know the answer.
“She’s awake,” Felix said.
Ben cried out, happy his woman was finally awake. Malcolm had told him about the fears and concerns of Heather’s condition. For several days he’d been freaking out in case his woman took a turn for the worse.
“Heather’s awake.”
“She’s awake, but she’s not happy, Ben,” Dana said.
“What?” He stopped looking at both Dana and Felix.
“Dad went to talk to her, and we could hear them. Heather doesn’t want to see you,” Felix said.
He’d been expecting that. Ben had hurt her, and it was going to take a long time to build that trust back.
“You don’t understand, Ben. When we were close we scented Heather’s feelings for you, and it’s not good.”
“What do you mean?” Ben asked.
“Heather hates you. She doesn’t want to get to know you. You’ve hurt her and probably scarred her for life. She wants nothing to do with you,” Felix said.
The words hit him square in the chest, disabling any hope of a future he had.
“I want you both to get back home now,” John said, interrupting the moment. John was older than all of them and knew how to cover up his scent. Neither of them had realised they’d been found out. John was that good.
Ben didn’t care. He couldn’t breathe. The pain inside his chest sent him to his knees.
Felix and Dana left without another word.
“I’m sorry. Please, don’t blame them. I asked for information, and they were kind enough to give it to me,” Ben said, not wanting them to get in trouble.
“I knew what they were doing, Ben. I wasn’t stupid. They may think they were going behind my back, but they weren’t.”
John took a seat on the bench that was next to him.
“Then why didn’t you stop them?” Ben asked.
“I mated Kathleen when we were no older than children. We were both seventeen and in love. I know what it’s like to have the mating scent, Ben. I’m not cruel, and I won’t purposefully keep you away from your mate. Sit.”
Ben did as he was ordered. He wasn’t about to upset John. The older man had a mean right hook.
“I’m pissed about your lack of control over your tiger. I need you to handle yourself better. Kathleen is a leopard like me. I didn’t have to worry about losing control. Everything came naturally to us. We’ve been lucky and blessed with our relationship.”
“Heather’s not a tiger.”
“I’m not a tiger either, Ben. I know the truth about your past and the past of the tiger mating. The fact you’re giving her some time is a blessing.”
Ben looked down at his hands. He couldn’t bear for the other man to see his pain.
“Don’t be embarrassed or ashamed. We’re not to blame for our past. You’re the one responsible for your future, and you’ve got a long way to go to get Heather back on your side. You’ve hurt her, and she’s going to be a hard nut to crack.”
“I’ll do whatever I have to.”
John nodded. “The real test is going to come when those bandages are removed. She’s going to be different. They’re not going to be pretty.”
“I don’t care.”
“You might. I heard you like a pretty face.”
“That was all before I found the one. Heather is the one for me.”
John stared at him for several minutes. “You’re not in love with her?”
“Not yet.”
Ben wasn’t going to lie about his feelings. Love hadn’t entered into the equation, at least not yet. He was willing to open himself up to Heather, but that would all come in time.
“Heather needs love to be able to move on, Ben. She’s not going to be easy, and with you doing this to her, this is going to be a tough road ahead.”
“I can do it,” Ben said.
“You’ve got to be sure. A lot of women can forgive a man almost anything, but forgiving the man who scarred them, now that’s a tough one.”
Tears filled Ben’s eyes.
Staring down at his hands, he felt his heart pound against his chest. “I hear her screams every day. I know she’s not up in her room screaming. I hear her in my head. For the rest of my life I’ve got to live with the knowledge of that noise and knowing I was the cause.” He stopped talking, running his fingers through his hair and trying to do everything to stop the fear that gripped him. “I’ve never hurt a woman in my life, not physically. I’ve got to handle that, and I will. John, I promise you, I’ll take care of Heather, and for the rest of my life I will live with the memory of her screams.”
John slapped him on the thigh. “You’ve got a tough road ahead. I’m so glad it’s not me.”
When he was alone, Ben allowed himself the real tears to fall, the tears of guilt and pain and above all loss. Finding his mother all those years ago he’d made a promise to himself to never hurt another person or to treat his own woman like that. The first chance he got to a woman, and he’d scarred her. What chance did he really have of winning Heather back?
There was so much against him.
The only thing he had left was time. Time to prove to her he was the right man for her. The fates had chosen her as his mate and him as her mate, so there had to be more meaning to it. He couldn’t accept anything else.
Chapter Four
The days and weeks went by with everyone pitching in to help Heather. She was bathed by either Dana or Kathleen and assisted to the toilet whenever she needed it. All the family took turns in sitting with her, reading or watching a movie, in her case listening. When Malcolm gave her the all clear she was able to eat solid food once again. Her lung was fine, and her other cuts from Ben’s claws were healing, rather rapidly, but they were still healing. Malcolm wouldn’t tell her why she was healing faster, and when she asked Dana the other woman had been embarrassed. Malcolm still refused to take the bandages off her eyes. She got the sense he was nervous in case he’d missed something. He’d explained the infection from tiger claws and the possible repercussions. There was also a lot of scientific words spouted off that she didn’t understand. Either way, she’d gotten used to not using her eyes. She liked being read to as well.
When it came to conversations about her rapid healing, Felix was the one to blurt out that she was being given Ben’s blood. At first, she’d gone ballistic at the news. How could they be transfusing her with the blood of the monster that made her like this? Then, once they explained, she’d calmed down. Her blood type had been changed because of the attack, which was why they were being cautious with her eyes and everything else. Ben had cut her and marked her deep with his claws. She wouldn’t turn into a tiger, but because of the attack, she needed to be given his blood. The enzymes and the tiger cells within the blood were healing her faster than human blood ever would.
There was no other choice for her. She had been on tiger blood, and that was the end of it.
The bandages still hadn’t been removed. Malcolm wanted to leave her as long as possible to help. From what Dana had told her, her chest and side were simply red, claw marks. Heather cringed remembering the detail her friend had gone into about her marks. She didn’t need to know that they looked painful; she felt them.
Every morning when she woke up her first thought was about Ben. Heather hated her thoughts the most. He’d caused this to happen to her because of his lack of control, and yet she couldn’t help feeling bad for him.
“Malcolm said your bandages will be coming off Monday,” Dana said. Turning toward the sound of her best friend, Heather smiled. It was Thursday of her third week away. Her parents hadn’t even phoned to check up on her, but Malcolm was being very protective of her. They all were. The Ashtons, all the shifters, were being protective of her.
“He told me yesterday.”
“Are you excited?”
She nodded. Heather was nervous as well as excited, and she didn’t really know how t
o put her true feelings into words.
“I’m sure everything will be fine,” Dana said.
Heather heard her friend moving closer.
“Ben’s still outside. He asks about you often.”
She didn’t say anything. Heather neither encouraged nor discouraged talk about him.
“He’s sorry about what happened. I’m sure if he could, he’d kick his own ass. He truly is sorry for everything that has happened.” Dana continued to speak on and on about Ben.
John and Felix were the same. None of them asked her about what she was thinking. If she was honest with herself, she didn’t really know what she was thinking.
“I’m going to go and get you some food. Felix is grabbing a chick flick from the town. We’ll eat and watch it together, okay?”
“Sure.”
She’d tuned out most of what Dana had said about Ben.
When the door closed behind Dana, Heather threw the covers off her body. Gripping hold of the bed, she forced herself to put a foot onto the floor. She couldn’t handle the not knowing anymore. The bandages were going to come off, but she wanted to be alone when she did. They were being too protective. She was starting to believe this had nothing to do with protecting her eyes but stopping her from seeing the damage Ben had done. Heather was done with waiting. She needed to know what the damage was, so she could make plans for her new future.
By taking control, she wouldn’t have to deal with people watching her when the bandages came off.
Letting Malcolm remove them, she was vulnerable to what he saw. She didn’t want to have to handle him wincing or witnessing him try to keep his emotions in check. It wasn’t going to happen.
With both feet on the floor, Heather reached out for the chair. For the last couple of weeks she’d memorized the route to the bathroom. All the time the others had been talking, she’d been calculating the distance each step took. There were three steps in front of her, then four steps around a table to the right. She did this making sure, she didn’t hesitate or miscount.
Six steps would have her at the door to the bathroom.
After each step Heather felt her heart start to pound. Stroking the door, she found the handle. Flicking it open, she took the next four steps, turned left and took another two steps to be standing in front of the mirror.
Reaching out, she stroked the mirror in front of her. She let out a sigh then reached behind her head.
The tape was easily removed. Malcolm had explained that he’d used tape to bind the bandages together instead of a safety clip, for her comfort.
She removed the tape and started to unwrap the bandage around her face.
Her hands shook with each movement. Heather had questioned Malcolm about removing the bandage and how best to do it. She needed to make sure she didn’t jerk on the bandage or pull it.
Heather took deep breaths as she saw her eyes in front of the mirror. The bandage didn’t cover her nostrils, but she saw one green eye.
“Come on, Heather. You can do this.”
She watched her reflection as she removed the bandage. Each layer exposed her new face. It wasn’t really a new face, but looking at her reflection, Heather already saw the change. They’d stitched together her flesh that had been cut by Ben’s claws.
Once all the bandages were removed, Heather let the fabric fall to the floor and stared at her face.
Her hair was matted and dirty. She noticed her chestnut brown hair was starting back at the roots. Looking back at herself, she saw her eyes were the same, and she could see, which was a bonus to her.
At least she’d be able to read to herself. Then she looked at her nose and the scars going vertically across her cheek and down to her neck. The tip of one scar was directly under her eye, so she saw there had been a danger to her eyesight and was thankful Malcolm had taken the extra precautions. First, she stared directly at herself. The stitches weren’t the type that needed removing. Malcolm had explained about the blood and how they absorbed the stitches or something. It was a paranormal, not natural to humans, explanation. He’d explained the pros of having the blood with the stitches and that she wouldn’t need to have the stitches removed and the marks covered over.
The claw marks were red, slightly swollen, and looked entirely out of place on her face. Tears filled her eyes making her vision blurry.
Opening the buttons of her pyjama shirt she looked at the marks down her chest, side and back.
They were healed a little better. The marks were not as red as Dana described them, but she could clearly see the outline of his claws.
She looked a mess and knew her parents wouldn’t accept her back like this. There was no way she could go back home looking the way she did. How could she begin to explain what happened to her? She’d have to wait years before they started to fade a little.
“Heather?” She heard Felix’s voice in the distance.
She couldn’t move. Heather felt frozen to the spot, staring at her face and body. She’d never been vain in her life, but right then, she felt ugly.
The door to her bedroom opened. “Heather?”
Not answering him, she kept her gaze fixed on her mess.
“Fuck, why are you out of bed?”
He hadn’t found her.
“Shit, Heather, what have you done?” Felix rushed to her side. She didn’t even bother covering her body up.
“I’ve done nothing,” she said, staring at her reflection. A man she barely knew had done this to her. Her mate, according to Ben and everyone else, had done this to her.
****
Ben lifted the axe above his head and brought it down on the log. There were times when he wished he was cutting off some part of himself. He wondered if there would ever be a time when he didn’t feel guilty about what he’d done. How his life had changed in the last few weeks.
Heather still refused to see him, but at least the Ashtons were giving him a chance to prove himself. They wouldn’t try to push him out or away anymore.
When the front door slammed and the scent of grief wafted over to him, Ben stopped what he was doing. Felix stood, shaking and inhaling the fresh air.
“What’s going on? Is Heather okay?” Ben asked. His concern for his mate was instant.
“Define okay. I’m waiting for Malcolm. She’s freaking out, crying, and hysterical up there.”
Putting the axe down, Ben listened out for her. The sound was faint, yet he could hear her.
“What happened?” Ben asked. Fisting his hands at his side, Ben fought to go to her. She was crying, in pain, and he should be with her.
“She sneaked into the bathroom and removed the bandage from around her face. When I went in, she was naked and in shock,” Felix said.
“You saw her naked?” Ben couldn’t see past the other man seeing his woman. Anger unlike anything he’d ever felt hit him straight. He didn’t get chance to hold the aggression back. Ben charged at Felix throwing him down to the ground.
He snarled, grabbing the other man around the throat and landing a fist to his stomach.
Ben got in two shots before Felix defended himself. For a leopard, Felix was a fighter. Ben was sailed through the air, crashing against a tree. Standing up, Ben glared at him.
“Fucking stop. I let you hit me because if some fucker saw my girl naked, I’d feel the same if I’d not marked her. I’m used to seeing naked women. It’s in our nature.” Felix held a hand out. “She’s hurting, Ben. Her face is scarred, and she’s terrified. We’re all worried about her. Do you have any idea what’s going on?”
Pausing, Ben listened to him.
“Get your head out of your ass. This is not about you, Ben. Heather is hurting. This is about her. Think about that when you want to pound on our asses.”
“Are you two fucking kidding me?” John asked, storming out of the house and toward them. The wrath of the head leopard stormed toward them. Even Ben’s tiger whimpered.
“I came out here waiting for Malcolm, and he attacked me for
seeing Heather naked.” Felix growled at him.
Ben was doing everything he could to keep himself together. He shouldn’t have attacked Felix.
“Get in the fucking house, Felix. I’ll handle this.”
When the door slammed, Ben was thrown against a tree with John’s hand wrapped firmly around his neck.
“I would fucking end you right now if it wasn’t for my woman telling me not to. Heather is at risk of taking her own life. I scent the desperation on her, and Malcolm warned us all about this, which is why he was waiting.”
Ben felt ashamed of himself.
“Do you have any idea what she’s going through?”
“I’m not allowed to see her. She’s my woman, and I can’t see her.” He hated his whiny voice, but he couldn’t stop it. It had been weeks since he’d last seen or truly heard her.
John let go of his hold around her neck. “Fine, you want to see her, then let’s go and see her.”
He was grabbed roughly around his neck and tugged inside. Kathleen gasped when they passed, and Felix sent him a funny look. Up the stairs they walked until he could smell Heather.
They stopped outside the second door on the left.
“Go on, go and see what mess you’ve caused.”
Opening the door, Ben stepped inside.
Dana was curled around Heather as she cried. The leopard jerked her head toward him. Her eyes flashed amber as she scented him.
“Heather,” he said, moving away from the door.
His woman curled around a pillow howling in pain.
Going to the bed, he tried to get closer to her.
“No, get out.” Heather suddenly yelled, launching pillows at him. “I don’t want to see you. Get out. Get out. Get out.”
Ben left the bedroom without getting a chance to hold her.
John stood with Malcolm. The doctor must have arrived while he’d tried to get Heather in his arms. It didn’t matter what she looked like to him. He just needed to hold her and to let her know he was there for her.
“It’s too early for you to go near her, son. You need to stay away,” Malcolm said, walking past.