by Sam Crescent
Minutes later Dana left the room, closing the door.
“What the hell were you trying to do? She’s not ready to see you. I doubt she’ll ever be ready for you.”
“I brought him up here, Dana. He needed to know she wasn’t handling everything really well,” John said.
They all stood waiting for Malcolm to reappear.
“I don’t think he should be here, Dad. He’s fucked everything up for Heather.”
“Language.”
Silence fell between them as Malcolm walked out of the room. The doctor looked saddened. “I had no idea she was going to take the bandages off when she was questioning me.”
“How is she?” John asked.
“Broken, shocked, angry, sad. I can’t really say which one. She’s in pain and not the kind I can prescribe medication for. I’ve given her a sedative, and that should help for tonight.” Malcolm ran his fingers through his hair. Ben saw the sadness inside the older man.
“I never meant to hurt her,” Ben said, grabbing all of their attention.
“Well you fucking did.” Dana stormed away outside. Felix followed her out, and Ben went with John and Malcolm downstairs to where Kathleen was waiting.
“She’s not doing any better?” Kathleen asked.
“Heather is doing as well as can be expected.” Malcolm answered, taking the cup of coffee she offered.
“I hate this. I wish there was something we could do,” John said.
“She’s my mate. I can’t walk away or leave her alone. She’s mine.” Ben folded his arms and was shocked when Kathleen brought him over a cup of coffee.
“We’re not asking you to walk away.” Kathleen patted him on the arm. The woman before him was always trying to take care of everyone. She truly was a momma at heart.
“I agree with her, son. You leave now, and it will have a hard impact on her.” Malcolm nodded in his direction.
“I put the scars on her face. I’m not backing down.” Ben faced John. No matter how many times Kathleen, Felix, or Malcolm welcomed him, if John didn’t want him there then he’d be gone.
John had a lot of years and experience, and Ben couldn’t compete with that.
“I think it’s best you move in with us, Ben. I don’t like it and I know Heather’s going to struggle with you close by, but it’s for the best.”
Ben agreed and made his way outside to where Dana and Felix sat on the bench. Dana growled at him.
“I’m sorry,” he said. “I’m sorry for picking her.”
Dana pounced on him. The easy way she did it, startled him. She was a leopard, and he should have seen it coming. “Do you really think I give a shit about you picking her? I’m not that fucking desperate. I’m pissed because you’ve broken her. Heather was strong, and you’ve broken that.”
“I’ll be staying with you guys to fix what I’ve broken. John’s in agreement with me.”
She was shaking her head. “It’s a mistake.”
“No, Dana, it’s not,” Felix said.
“You’re standing up for him now?”
“No, I’m hoping you can see this from Heather’s standpoint. He’ll be able to show her how he feels. There wasn’t enough time for him to connect with her. Now, he can.”
Dana huffed and stormed off, leaving him alone with her brother.
“Thank you for sticking up for me.”
“I’m not. Heather deserves some time. The only way you’re going to get that is by being with her. This is not going to be easy between you two. The least I can do is try to be supportive because Heather’s going to crush your balls.”
Felix left him alone, chuckling.
Staring up at Heather’s window, Ben wondered if the woman he’d scarred would ever find it in her heart to forgive him.
Chapter Five
Heather sat on the edge of her bed. She’d dressed in a pair of jeans and a buttoned shirt. The longer she sat staring at her feet the more she wanted to curl back up in bed. It had been three days since she’d stared at her face in the mirror. She needed to go back and look, but she couldn’t bring herself to move.
They were all expecting her down for breakfast. Dana had warned her Ben was now staying in their home. He wasn’t going to be there for breakfast. She’d begged John not to let him near her.
Letting go of the bed, she stood up and slowly walked to the bathroom. She’d been stuck in the same bedroom for over a month. Dana was going to be with her as they made their way around the surrounding cabin. She didn’t want to leave the house alone, and the only way she’d leave was if her friend was with her.
Opening the bathroom door, she stepped through and stared at her reflection in the mirror.
Three days had passed since she’d last seen herself, and already the marks across her face and down her neck didn’t look as harsh as they had. Grabbing her toothbrush, she quickly brushed her teeth and brushed her hair before walking toward the door leading out to the rest of the house.
She’d never once been tempted to leave her room. Heather heard everyone talking, and she paused near the door, listening to them.
Could she go down and face them? They knew she wasn’t like them. She was pure human, and they were not. They would have been able to survive the attack whereas Dana had told her she’d been in and out of it for most of the time.
The door next to her opened, and Heather froze as Ben stepped out of the door. His room was right next to hers. No, it couldn’t be possible. It wasn’t fair for her attacker to be near her.
He tensed and turned to her. She wasn’t covering her face, and Heather knew it was the marks on her face that he saw. Ben didn’t see the person underneath.
She saw the guilt cross his face, and she looked down at her feet.
“You’re not supposed to be here this morning,” she said. Her voice was croaky from lack of use.
“I’m heading out.”
Glancing up, she saw his hands were fisted at his side.
“Okay.”
Heather paused and then stared up into his face. He was the one who’d caused this to her face, and he should look at what he’d done.
They stared at each other for several moments, and neither spoke or looked away.
He reached out to touch her, and she couldn’t stop herself from flinching away from his touch. Ben cursed and dropped his hand.
“I’m sorry,” he said.
“I know.” Her stomach growled, making her face heat with embarrassment.
“I’m keeping you from your breakfast. I’ll, erm, I’ll go.”
Before she could stop him, Ben walked away.
Staring at his back, Heather wished there was more for her to say, but her mind drew a blank.
She didn’t know how long she stood there waiting. Finally, she made her way down to the breakfast table. All four Ashtons were sat waiting for her. This reminded her so much of the many times she’d eaten breakfast with them. Cereal and toast were laid out on the table waiting for her to eat.
“Ben just left,” Felix said.
“I know. I saw him.”
Both men tensed. “Did anything happen?” John asked.
She shook her head. Nothing happened. There was no passionate kiss or anything. Heather didn’t know why she was thinking about kisses, but she was. She remembered the way he’d held her close on the same night he’d attacked her. The way his lips melded with hers and the heat pulsing between her thighs.
Cutting off the thought, she grabbed some toast, nibbling on the ends and sipping some juice.
Ben made her nervous.
When she’d eaten a couple more slices of toast, she left the cabin with Dana. Felix offered to come with them. Dana turned him down. They’d not had some girly time away from the cabin in some time.
Dana placed an arm through hers, and together they made their way outside. It was still warm, and Heather was thankful she hadn’t worn a jacket.
“I’ve missed this,” Dana said.
“Me, too. It ha
s been hard being trapped inside that bedroom.” Heather tucked some hair behind her ear and stared ahead of her.
“Ben won’t leave, and I can’t force him to leave.”
Shrugging, Heather didn’t say a word.
“You’re his mate, Heather.”
“I can’t, Dana. You wanted him, and I can’t do this with him. He hurt me.”
Her friend stopped, taking a deep breath. “I can’t believe I’m doing this. Ben’s not a bad person. His tiger reacted violently to you pushing him away. It’s extreme, but you need to give him a chance.”
Tears filled Heather’s eyes. “I can’t talk about this. Please, leave it alone.”
“If you’d only listen—”
“No. I don’t want to listen. It’s fine with you and with everyone else. You’re perfect, Dana. I’m not. I’m human, and now I’m a human with scars. Nothing is ever going to be all right, and I’m not just going to listen to reason.”
Pulling herself away from Dana, she took a seat on one of the benches near the array of trees.
“Heather?”
“No, please, leave me alone. I love you like a sister, but right now I need you to leave me alone. You don’t know what I’m going through. Otherwise you wouldn’t have brought him up.”
“I’m sorry.”
Heather nodded. Everyone was always so sorry.
After several minutes Dana left her alone. The moment she was alone, Heather felt bad for arguing with her friend. Dana didn’t deserve that. Her friend hadn’t been the one to scar her.
Would she ever get over this pain? Rubbing her chest, Heather stared at the house before her. They were her family, and she wasn’t being nice to them. Maybe she should just leave so none of them would feel responsible for her.
Her parents wouldn’t want her. Neither her mother nor father had phoned to see how she was getting on.
She dropped her head in her hands trying her best to keep the tears inside. When she’d heard of couples mating, she’d never heard of this. Being attacked and now she truly believed her mate was repulsed by her.
“What the hell am I supposed to do?”
There were no immediate answers, and she wished life was a hell of a lot easier.
****
Ben shouldn’t have stayed and listened to their conversation. It was wrong on so many levels. When it came to Heather he’d made so many mistakes. What was wrong with him listening to them argue?
They were arguing about him anyway.
Dana wasn’t annoyed when she walked away. There was the guilt and the pain, but there was also depression. Dana was missing her friend, and Heather felt the same. They were missing the woman Heather had been before his vicious attack.
Moving out of the clearing, Ben stood in front of her. The scars on her face didn’t repulse him. They made him angry at himself for his lack of control. The scars also made him proud of his mate, and that was what sickened him. Heather, a human, had survived his attack, and he hated himself for thinking it. His mate was strong.
She looked up at him. Tears glistened in her eyes.
“If you’re going to say you’re sorry or feel pity or anything else, then just go. I don’t want people to feel pity for me.”
Heather dropped her hands. Taking a seat beside her, Ben tamped down the euphoria blistering inside him at being so close to her. He wanted to reach out and take her in his arms. Instead, he sat beside her with enough room so she didn’t feel crowded. His body hardened with need. The woman he’d met over a month ago was still there in the way she sat. Her shoulders were drooped, but the fire was inside her.
In time his woman would be back, and during that time he was going to get to know her.
“You’re not going to say sorry or tell me stuff I don’t want to know?” she asked. Her voice made him shiver, and his cock tightened.
“No. You don’t want to hear anything, and there’s nothing I can say. I can handle silence.” He leaned forward, covering his aching erection from her view.
She nodded, and for several minutes they sat on the bench together. He saw John, Felix, Dana, and Kathleen each stare at them from a window. His tiger was well hidden. When he sensed his animal close to the surface, Ben knew it was sad. He found it easier to think of his tiger as another being inside him. They were both different, and Ben had learned over the years to try to understand his tiger. There were times like the attack on Heather, when he’d been unable to control it.
John was teaching him some techniques to control his tiger. At the moment, his other self was ashamed of hurting their mate.
“Did you have a good breakfast?” he asked, breaking the silence. He wanted to hear her voice again.
“Yeah.”
“What did you have?”
Heather turned to him, frowning. “I ate some toast. It just had butter on.”
Ben smiled. “I love peanut butter and jelly on my toast.”
“I do as well.”
Progress. Clearing his throat, Ben tried to think of something more to say.
“Do you like a lot of food?” Heather asked.
“I do. I eat everything and anything I can get my hands on. I’m surprised Kathleen hasn’t complained. I’ve got a big appetite.”
“She loves feeding people. She’ll never complain.”
“Do you like cooking?” Had Dana ever talked about Heather’s likes and dislikes? He really couldn’t remember, and he wished he’d listened to the other woman more.
“I love cooking. Everything I know Kathleen has taught me. She truly is amazing, and I wish I can look after my family in the same way.”
He heard the yearning inside her.
“You want a family?”
She nodded. “Yeah, lots of kids and family around. My parents have always been closed off. They would never dream of having a barbeque and inviting people around. I loved going around to Dana’s. Her family always cared.”
Heather paused. Her hands tightened until her knuckles were white. He wanted to reach over and touch her hands.
Remembering the way she’d flinched away from him that morning stopped him from reaching out to her.
They sat there for many more minutes.
“Do you want a family?” she asked, drawing him back into a conversation.
“I don’t know. There was a time when I didn’t want anything, but now I’m reconsidering my thoughts.” He’d never anticipated having a mate at all. After what his father had done, Ben hadn’t wanted to put someone at risk. He’d hurt Heather already. What if he truly hurt her to the point of killing her?
Shaking the gloomy thoughts from his mind, he listened to her speak.
“When I first met Dana I thought she was weird. Her family were so open, and they always hugged. My parents rarely hugged, so affection was something foreign. The more I got to know her, the more I wished my family was like hers.” She tucked some hair behind her ear, and he noticed she did this a lot. Was it a nervous gesture?
“I’ve noticed leopards are more cuddly than the rest of us.” He’d gladly have her in his arms and spend every waking moment holding her.
“When I first found out about Dana being a leopard, I was scared. I’d only ever heard of shifters in books. Then, I didn’t care. She was still my friend, and her family were still the same people. Then I started to wish I had something special going on. I’m just a boring human.”
“You’re special, Heather.”
“How can I be? I don’t turn into anything different. I’m the same old me.”
Turning toward her, Ben grabbed her hands. “You’re my mate. Please, don’t argue with me. You’re special to me. I hope to one day show you how special you are to me.”
She didn’t pull away. Her hands shook a little. “This is too soon.” Heather pulled her hands away from him.
Ben nodded. “I’m not going anywhere. You’ll need time, and I’ll give you time.”
“Thank you for sitting with me,” she said.
“I’
d be happy to sit with you whenever you need it.”
She frowned at him. “Don’t you guys ever have to work?”
He laughed. “Some of us do. We all try to keep to our own kind, so no one gets hurt. I own a couple of security companies in the city. I keep in touch via the internet. I think John dabbles with the stock markets. We all have our own ways.”
“It figures.” She stood up and took several steps.
Ben wished he could keep her by his side.
When she stopped, he tensed waiting. She turned toward him. “I’ll be happy to sit with you tomorrow if you don’t mind being outside?”
“Consider me there.”
Heather smiled and then walked away.
He wanted to jump with joy. Getting up from his seat, he headed back inside the house. John was waiting in the kitchen.
“She was smiling when she walked in,” John said.
“We talked a little.”
“Good. It will do you both good to talk.”
Nodding, Ben left him to go to his room. It was talking, but it was more than he ever thought she’d accept from him.
Chapter Six
The following day Heather felt a little tinge of excitement. She hadn’t asked John to get rid of Ben. A part of her was looking forward to seeing him. Was she making a mistake? She didn’t know the answer, and for now she was happy to have breakfast and maybe go sit with him.
Heading downstairs she saw him sat next to the only empty chair. The entire table paused as she stood near the kitchen entryway. Felix was sat next to Dana with their parents on either side of the table.
Taking a deep breath she took the available chair and reached for some toast. Ben pushed the jar of peanut butter and jelly toward her. She saw his toast was covered in the stuff.
Opening the jar, she started spreading plenty of it over her toast. Within minutes conversation started up again. Their hands touched where they rested on top of the table. Heather withdrew her hand first. She heard a sigh come from Ben.
Ignoring his disappointment, she took a bite of her toast, moaning as the flavours melded into one.
Every now and then she sensed others’ eyes on them. Blanking them out, Heather concentrated on eating her food. She was conscious of Ben by her side. It was like heat was radiating off him. She tried to ignore him, but she felt an invisible pull toward him. Taking a deep breath, Heather ate her food, listening to the banter of everyone around them.