My One Regret

by Krissy V

  When we get to Jezza’s place, the party has already started. The music is blaring and there are loads of our friends in the pool already.

  “Cassie! Bonnie! Come on, jump in it’s lovely and warm,” says Steve. He was one of the guys who helped Jezza to pull me out of the sea. I smile at him; he is another good friend.

  “Ok, give us chance to get changed,” I say laughing. I feel so comfortable with these guys that all my worries slip away. Danni, Bonnie and I go upstairs and get changed. It’s a good thing we put our swimming costumes on before we came, it saves a lot of time. I have my new swimsuit on; it’s a little bit revealing as it has cut outs on the side and it is black and sparkly, but I love it!

  “Wow, Cassie you look hot” says Steve when we get out to the pool.

  I blush and jump straight in, splashing the others and laughing so much that I swallow lots of the water and I start gulping and choking, but all the time I am laughing. I’m not scared when I start choking because I know I am safe. I have been back to the beach and gone in for a swim; it took a few attempts before I got in but I was happy when I finally did. It means that tonight I can have fun and not think about that fateful night.

  We are all splashing each other when I feel someone watching me. At first I think I’m going crazy. Then, when the feeling doesn’t go away I start swimming round and round, looking around the side of the pool. I don’t feel uncomfortable, but start wondering if it’s David coming back for me. I get out quick, get a towel and cover myself up.

  Bonnie and Danni get out quickly and run up to me. “Cassie what is it? You’ve gone as white as a sheet,” Bonnie says looking around her.

  “Danni, answer me one question and please don’t ask why, but is David coming here tonight? I know you’re seeing Tony, so you’ll know whether he is coming or not.” I put both my hands on her shoulders and start shaking her. “Tell me. Tell me!” I’m nearly shouting in her face.

  She goes pale. “No Cassie he’s not. Tony fell out with him the last time he was down. Tony won’t tell me what it was about, but no he’s not coming. Please calm down!” She’s touching me now, trying to calm me down and I start to breathe again, deep breaths in and out.

  “Are you going to tell me what that’s all about?” Danni says staring at me and I can see the panic in her eyes. Shit! She’s putting two and two together and coming up with the right answer. And to top it all off she’s pissed with me because I didn’t say anything to her.

  “Danni, please don’t get angry with me. I wanted to tell you but I didn’t know where to start. Can we talk about this another day? I just want to enjoy myself tonight. I felt someone looking at me and I just panicked. I’m sorry!” I have tears in my eyes and she reaches out and gives me a big hug. Everything is going to be all right in the world again.

  “I’m not angry” she says. “I’m just hurt you didn’t say anything. I can’t believe you went out with him and didn’t tell me about it. We WILL talk another day, but tonight we are going to enjoy this party” she says hugging me. She obviously thinks we went out and it ended badly, well I’m not going to put her straight.

  The three of us link arms and laughing we jump straight into the pool. Even though I am laughing, I know what I felt and I don’t really understand it. It’s unnerved me a little. We stay in the pool for about an hour when I decide that I want to get out, dry off and have a drink.

  “Bonnie, I am going to get a drink, do you want anything?”

  “No, I’m fine, I’ll get one in a few minutes. Are you ok?”

  “Yeah, I’m just thirsty and I’m starting to go wrinkly.”

  She laughs at me and I get out of the pool. When I do I feel it again. Someone is watching me, but this time I don’t panic, because I know it’s not David. I slowly turn around on the spot looking around me to see who is staring at me.

  I turn and see HIM, I realise he is the one watching me. I don’t know why I don’t feel creeped out, but I don’t. I put a towel around me and find myself walking towards him. I need to know who he is.

  The closer I get to him the more of him I can see. He is in his swim shorts and no top. His body is so beautiful. All I can do is look into his eyes, they are the most beautiful blue colour. They are turquoise and are like pools that are drawing me in.

  “Hi” I say, trying not to blush “I’m .. “

  “Cassie” he says. “I know who you are, I was hoping to bump into you tonight. I’m Jordan,” he says with the biggest and brightest grin I’ve ever seen.

  “Hi Jordan. Why were you hoping to bump into me?” I stupidly say to him. He’s making me lose control of myself. I feel really nervous and look down at the floor.

  “Erm I wanted to get to know you. I feel like I’m drawn to you for some reason. I know that sounds stupid, but everywhere I look I can only see you.” He puts his finger under my chin and makes me look into his eyes. “Even when I have my eyes closed, all I can see is you. Sorry if that sounds a bit stalkerish.” He laughs, but I can see that he’s embarrassed about showing me his feelings.

  I laugh with him because I really don’t know what to say. I have to try and say something though because he is looking at me with those mesmerising eyes. “Yeah it does sound a bit stalkerish,” I laugh. “But I’m flattered and yes, I have seen you around at school and I did wonder who you were too. So we are both a bit stalkerish.” We both start laughing.

  “I’m going to go and dry off and get some more clothes on. Then maybe we can grab a drink,” I say really quickly so Jordan doesn’t see I’m waffling on a bit. He is making me nervous but I don’t want to stop talking to him. I turn and walk back into the house, towards the stairs to go upstairs to the bedroom to find my dress. I can feel him following me and I smile to myself. I am a little bit nervous though that I am in the house with him and my friends are outside, but he makes me feel safe.

  “That’s sounds great, although I don’t mind if you don’t put anymore clothes on” he says grinning at me. He is following closely behind me, I was right.

  “No, seriously I would feel better if I had more clothes on.” I laugh as I’m heading up the stairs.

  Jordan’s POV

  I'm so glad I managed to talk Jezza into giving me an invite to his pool party. I arrive late on purpose. I want to people watch for a while. Well, really I want to watch one person in particular. Cassie! She is the one girl who has captivated me from the first time I saw her. I was walking past Mr Marsden’s Economics class and I saw her looking out the window. I looked at her and felt that I couldn't move. I just had to keep looking into her eyes. She was beautiful and she had a huge smile that brightened up her face. I could also see a sadness in her eyes. I just felt that I wanted to make her happy and take away her sadness.

  The problem is that she is a year above me at school and those girls don't normally talk to us. I'm not going to let that stop me making this girl happy though.

  I smile and wink before walking away. I can feel her looking at me as I move away from the window and that makes me smile.

  Over the next few days I see her watching me playing football, when she thinks I don't notice her there. I do though, because it's like my whole body is tuned into her frequency. I see her regularly talking to a guy named Jezza, so I try to talk to him to find out who she is.

  "Hey. It's Jezza right?" I say walking up to him.

  He looks me up and down and says "yeah, why?"

  "I heard you captain the school football team and I was wondering if I might be able to get a trial" I say starting off with general conversation.

  "Yeah I do. We've got trials on Thursday after school, you can come along then and we can see how good you are," he says.

  "Cool I'll see you Thursday. Oh and I’m Jordan!" I'm so happy I got a trial for the football team and chance to find out more about Cassie.

  On Thursday I go to the football field and try out for the school team, it goes well and Jezza tells me that I have a place on the team. I get in the team and I'm
delighted.

  After the trials when we're getting our stuff to go home some of the lads are talking about a party at Jezza’s. This is an opportunity I can’t resist so I chance my arm and ask him myself. "Hey Jezza, I heard you’re having a party on Friday night and wondered if me and a couple of mates can come along aswell.”

  “Yeah Jordan that’s fine, there will be a good gang of the football lads there so it’s a good way to get to know your team mates,” Jezza says.

  I cross my fingers behind my back as I risk asking “so erm will there be many hot girls going?”

  Jezza starts laughing, “Yeah of course. Have you seen the girls in this school? They’re all freaking hot.”

  “Will erm ... will Cassie be there?” I’m stuttering and I can feel myself blushing, what the hell is wrong with me.

  “She is a good friend of mine, so of course she will be there with Bonnie and Danni too. Don’t get too close to Cassie though, she is very fragile. We all look out for her. There was some major shit that went down recently with her and we are all protective of her. You mess with Cassie - you mess with all of us.”

  I wonder what happened, maybe that is why she looks so sad all the time. “I hope you understand that and I hope you take note.” Jezza says warning me off.

  “Is she your girlfriend or something?” I ask, just to make sure I’m not stepping on anyone’s toes.

  “No she’s not. She is a very good friend who has been through a lot and she needs a break. That’s all.”

  “I don’t intend to mess her about, I promise.” I can’t believe my luck, I am going to a party and Cassie will be there. I can’t wait.

  So, here I am waiting at the bottom of the stairs thinking back on how I got here. I’m really nervous, but I can feel that she wants to get to know me too. While she was upstairs I put my t-shirt back on and went into the kitchen to get a drink for both of us, I rushed back so that I didn’t miss her.

  I see her now at the top of the stairs and she just takes my breath away. I don’t think she knows how beautiful she really is. I smile so wide and I’m rewarded with a big smile back. I take a deep breath and hold a drink up for her.

  “Another Day in Paradise”

  Cassie

  When I get into Jezza’s room, where I had left my clothes earlier, I close the door behind me and lean up against it. I take a few deep breaths in and out to try and calm my racing heart down. I can’t believe the guy that I have been staring at all week is here at this party. More to the point he wants to get to know me better and have a drink.

  I quickly dry myself off and put my little white sundress back on. I put my wedge sandals on, roughly towel dry my hair and try to make it look nice. I grab a bit of lip gloss and head back down the stairs. Jordan is waiting for me at the bottom of the stairs with a big grin on his face.

  Jordan ... I like the way his name sounds on my lips.

  “Actually, I take back what I said earlier. I don’t mind you putting more clothes on at all. You look gorgeous,” he says as he watches me walk down the stairs. He has put pair of surfing shorts and a tight t-shirt on. Mmm he looks good enough to eat.

  “Thanks” I blush not knowing where to look.

  “I got you a drink, but I wasn’t sure what you wanted, is a beer ok?” he asks handing me the plastic cup.

  “Erm ... yeah that’s fine. I don’t really drink,” I say.

  “Sorry I didn’t know, come on let’s go in the kitchen and get you a coke or something.” He smiles and reaches out and takes my hand to lead me to the kitchen. As soon as he touches me I feel a jolt of electricity shooting up my arm, he must feel it too because when it happens he turns to look at me. He smiles and grips my hand tighter. When we get in the kitchen he takes my beer off me and pours me a cup of coke.

  “Let’s go and sit outside by the pool,” Jordan says as he guides me towards the back door, he puts his hand on the curve of my back. Well he’s not quite touching it, but I can feel the warmth of his hand through my dress. I shiver a little at the thought of his hand touching my back. “Are you cold?” He says. “You’re shivering, do you want my jumper to keep you warm?”

  “No, I’m fine thanks. Honest” I say not able to look at him.

  Just as we are heading into the kitchen towards the front door, Danni and Bonnie rush through the door and almost bang straight into us.

  “Cassie, we were getting worried! I know you said you were going for a drink but you were gone for ages.” Bonnie looks at Jordan and then back at me. “Are you ok?”

  “Yeah girls I’m fine. I just wanted to get dried off because I was getting cold in the pool. Sorry I didn’t say anything to you guys.” I look at them and then look towards Jordan. “This is Jordan. He just got me a drink and we were coming back out to the pool. Sorry girls.” I say, embarrassed that the girls had been looking for me and I hadn’t even realised.

  They look at him and smile, Bonnie says “Hi”.

  Danni does the same.

  “I know you worry about me and I should have told you where I was going. I’m sorry. Now turn around and get back outside so we can get this party started,” I say ushering them to move outside.

  “I’m going to go and choose some of my cheesy music to get everyone in the mood.” I move out of their way and walk over to Jezza’s stereo to see what CD’s he has. I see he has Now That’s What I Call Music 17, it has all the latest songs on it.

  I find the number of the song I want to put on - Opposites Attract by Paula Abdul. Everyone starts groaning and I hear loads of people shout “Cassie, turn it off.”

  I start laughing “no way, you know I like this kind of music” and I start dancing around the edge of the pool singing away to myself with my eyes closed.

  “I take two steps forward,

  I take two steps back,

  we come together as opposites attract”

  I’m laughing and dancing when all of a sudden I crash straight into someone. I open my eyes still laughing and start apologising “Sorry, I didn’t ....”

  “See me?” Jordan says laughing. “That would be hard when your eyes are closed. I was waiting for you over there and it didn’t look like you were going to come back to me anytime soon, so I decided to come to you instead.” He grins at me.

  “Sorry, I get caught up in the music and just lose myself,” I say blushing. “Come on, let’s go sit over there,” I say grabbing his hand. It feels comfortable to hold his hand and I’m not ready to let go. I like how my hand feels in his. I can see Bonnie looking at me with her eyebrows raised. I smile so that she knows it’s OK. That I’m OK.

  We move over to one of the sun loungers at the side of the pool. I can still hear the music, but it’s not too loud so I’ll still be able to hear Jordan. I put both legs up on the lounger and cross them and then sit down on them. My sundress rises up and shows more of my legs, but I don’t care he saw me in my swim suit for god’s sake. We sit there looking at each other

  “So, I want to ask you something, but I don’t want you to answer if you don’t want to,” he says, but he isn’t able to look at me when he says it. I don’t know what to expect but I’m not sure I like it.

  “OK carry on,” I say feeling a little bit apprehensive. Had he heard what I did that night on the beach? What did he think about it all? My heart is racing and I can feel my hands start to sweat.

  “Your friends seem to be very protective of you. I always see them looking around when you are with them, like they are looking for something. Then when we were in the kitchen, they rushed through the door looking for you. They looked petrified. Why is that?” He says it all very quickly, like he wanted to get it over and done with.

  How do I answer that question? I don’t know him well enough to tell him my story and what happened to me. I just need to come up with something else to say, because I just know that I don’t want to push him away or start lying to him. I take a deep breath.

  “Girls stick together you know. We’re all protective of
each other. Something happened to me last year and it’s made the girls over protective. I don’t really want to talk about it, but let’s just say that I’m very grateful for my friends.”

  I can feel that I’m on the verge of crying, so I take a couple of breaths to calm myself down. When I’m calm, I eventually look at Jordan. He is looking at me strangely and I can feel myself staring into his eyes, they really are beautiful.

  “Your friends are very lucky to have a friend like you too. I don’t want to push you into telling me your story, but I hope that if you want to get to know me better, then one day, when the time is right, you might tell me about it,” he’s smiling at me. I don’t know what to say, I just keep looking at him.

  It’s in this moment that I know he will be there for me and that I will let him in. Don’t ask me how I know this, but I just do.

  I smile back and whisper “I hope so too!” He takes my hand and just smiles at me. I can feel the heat and sensuality from just touching his hand. It feels like a defining moment in my life. Something that I will remember for the rest of my life.

  Neither of us has anything else to say and we just sit there holding hands and watching everyone enjoying the party.

  The music has slowed down and I can hear Jam Tronik with Another Day in Paradise. I can feel myself swaying slightly and singing along:-

  Oh, think twice,

  it's just another day for you and me in paradise Oh, think twice,

  it's just another day for you. You and me in paradise

  I feel like I’m in paradise right now. Jordan has moved behind me and he is pulling me back so that I am sitting between his legs and leaning up against him. I lean back into him and I inhale his scent. I can smell a bit of chlorine from the pool and something tropical. I love that smell already!