Pan's Salvation

by Shyla Colt

  Lark rested a hand on her stomach. On the surface, she looked put together, but inside she was a twisted collection of nerves. Today felt like D-day. Time with Pan was like the sand slipping through an hourglass. She blinked and days seemed to have passed in a whirlwind. They laughed, they loved and they learned. It was simple. Except—it wasn’t, not really. They fell deeper into whatever they were and tried not to think too hard about the future. The denial period was over. “Yeah.” She forced a smile. Her bravado was more for herself than him.

  “It’s just a get together, not an interrogation. Don’t look so worried.” He smoothed his calloused thumb over her hand.

  Butterflies danced in her stomach. Being the center of his attention still made her feel high.

  “They’re all going to wonder why the hell you’re with me.”

  “Ha! Probably the other way around.” She swung her leg off his bike and they walked

  toward the rented hall where everyone was gathering for Demon’s daughter, Ara’s first birthday.

  He wrapped an arm around her waist and she returned the favor. He’d become her sturdy

  fortress. As she moved past the grief, he’d been there to pull her back from the dark, forcing her to get out of bed and find a new normal with him by her side. It was the easiest thing she’d ever done and the hardest at the same time. It felt wrong to find such complete happiness when Robin had just departed the world.

  They entered the hall and all she saw was pink. Pink table clothes, balloons, streamers and gift writing.

  “Holy crap,” Pan whispered.

  Lark giggled. “Daddy’s little princess?”

  “Ya think?”

  “I think it’s sweet,” she said.

  “You would. Girls all stick together.”

  Lark punched his arm playfully. “Hey, I’m not that girly.”

  “Little bird…are you lying to me or yourself?”

  “Humph.” She turned her head away.

  Pan kissed the side of her head. “Come on, I see my brother.”

  She liked Monster and his wife, Symone. They were down to earth, non-judgmental and laid back. She waved at Symone, who welcomed her over. She stepped away from Pan to hug

  Symone. The dynamics between Pan and Monster was still rocky, but it was much better than it’d once been. Symone credited her. She didn’t think she deserved that much recognition.

  “Welcome to the circus,” Symone whispered into Lark’s ear. She swayed slightly, rocking the sleeping, Tate in the black carrier she had strapped to her chest. His wavy black locks slipped over his forehead. With his chubby cheeks and pouty pink lips, he was a vision.

  Lark laughed. “You’re supposed to be putting me at ease.” She ran a knuckle over the apple of Tate’s cheek, enjoying his soft flesh.

  “You’re laughing aren’t you?” Symone arched an eyebrow.

  “Touche.”

  “Come on, they won’t bite. Especially not with Pan lurking over your shoulder like an oversized bodyguard. Trust me, I know. I have one of my own.”

  They glanced over at the brothers talking together.

  “That might be one of my favorite parts,” Lark admitted softly.

  Symone smiled. “Mine too. But don’t tell him I said do.”

  “Your secret is safe with me.”

  “I don’t like the way they’re plotting right now,” Pan interjected.

  “Plotting? I’m wounded,” Lark said in mock offense.

  “I’m not touching this with a ten-foot pole.” Monster shook his head.

  “That’s why you’re the married one,” Pan said.

  Lark snickered. She loved seeing them like this, the way twin brothers should be. When they saw past all the bullshit from the past, they had epic moments of happiness. After what happened to Robin, it’d become a semi-obsession. Pan allowed her to gently nudge him, but he had no problem letting her know where his line in the sand was. They were a work in progress. It was a position she felt comfortable with.

  “I’d say Demon and I are proof an old dog can learn new tricks.”

  “You talking shit about my boys?” Demon drawled coming up from behind them with a

  huge grin. “Good to see you at a function, Lark.”

  “Good to be here,” She said softly, trying not to shift her weight. He had a silent authority. It made her nervous, but she was working on it. True to Pan’s words, the Dueling Devils were nothing like Hell’s Minions. It was a mantra she chanted mentally when she was among them.

  “You’ve met my wife, Ardy,” Demon said.

  She glanced at over the beautiful woman.

  She stood by the Pres’ side with her spiral curls tumbling around a heart shaped face,

  brilliant green eyes and easy smile. “Welcome Lark, I’m always excited about more estrogen around this place.”

  Her accented was enchanting. She could see just why Demon had been charmed.

  “I’m glad to provide it.” Lark glanced around. “Where’s Ara?”

  “Off terrorizing. It’s the only time she’ll part from Tate. When those two get older we’re in for hell,” Demon said shaking his head.

  “He’s heartbroken, she’s already found her sparkle.”

  “No, she didn’t,” Demon growled.

  “Sparkle?” Lark asked confused.

  “You know the man who makes you see fireworks.” Ardy laughed.

  “I told you to stop saying that shit. No offense, Monster, but my little girl ain’t dating until she’s at least thirty.”

  “Hah, keep telling yourself that babe.” Ardy patted his chest.

  “I’ll tell them. What good is being president if you can’t get people to listen to you?”

  Demon grumbled.

  Seeing him in a domestic setting made her giggle. This massive man who controlled so

  many had a heart and a soft-side. Some of the internal discomforts eased. This man understood family. For them, she was included in that six letter word. It was humbling.

  “I listen to you,” Ardy teased.

  “Uh huh,” Demon retorted with a raised brow.

  Just then, a little girl zoomed her way into the room like a kamikaze pilot. Her dark curls danced around her angular face. Her hazel eyes sparkled with joy. The pink dress had a tulle skirt that belled out, ensured she looked like the mini-princess they treated her as. “Daddy!” Ara tackled his legs and hugged him with all her tight.

  “Hey, baby girl,” Demon said. His face softened. He returned her hug, bent down and lifted her into the air. “You having fun?”

  “Yes!” Ara cheered.

  They all laughed at her enthusiasm.

  “Did you miss your partner in crime?” Monster asked, grinning when Demon rolled his

  eyes.

  “Uh huh.” Ara nodded while staring at Tate.

  “It’s a baby boom zone in here,” Pan huffed.

  “Is that a bad thing?” Monster asked.

  “The jury is still out,” Pan rolled.

  Demon chuckled. “It’s easy to say that until you’re looking at your own flesh and blood.”

  He placed a kiss on Ara’s forehead.

  “Daddy, I’m thirsty,” she said turning t’s into d’s, the way many young kids did.

  The maternal instincts that rose in Lark came as a surprise. After everything she’d been through with Robin, kids had never been a thought.

  “Alright princess, let’s get you something to drink, then see what your brother and sister are up to. Radio silence from them always worries daddy.” Demon walked off with a grinning Ardy trailing behind him.

  “They’re still in the honeymoon stage. It’s adorable,” Symone said.

  “Isn’t it though?” a woman agreed.

  “Gia!” Symone cried when she saw the woman. She turned and gently side-hugged her best

  friend who had three-month-old Niamh in a similar carrier. The café mocha skinned baby with bright brown eyes and a shock of coal hair cooed happily.

/>   Lark loved watching them interact. They had a sisterly vibe. She once shared that with

  Robin. It was bittersweet observing them.

  “And hello to you miss Niamh,” Gia cooed.

  The baby’s face lit up while she kept kicking her arms and legs.

  “She freaking loves you,” Lefty said.

  Symone and Lefty were finally coming around to getting along, but Lark had heard they had a rocky start. Something to do with Gia and the past.

  “That’s cause she knows quality people, isn’t that right?” Symone said.

  Lark laughed. “Hey, Gia.”

  “Hey, Girl. It's good to see you here. The women are actually starting to pick up numbers.”

  Lefty snorted. “If you say so, babe.”

  Gia rolled her eyes and mouthed Men.

  Lark covered her giggle with a cough.

  “How about we have some girl time? We’ll take care of Lark, Pan,” Symone said.

  He glanced over at her.

  The concern in his eyes touched her. “I’ll be fine,” Lark said.

  “See? She’s good, let the woman breathe,” a sassy voice crowed.

  She turned to look at the blonde girl who reminded her of her best friend, Tanya.

  “Always a pleasure to see you too, Chase,” Pan drawled.

  “Look I love you all like brothers. But you guys have a serious case of the caveman. Let your woman roam.”

  “I can’t wait for the day when your caveman comes around and knocks you on your ass,”

  Lefty stated.

  Chase smooched at him.

  “Get out of here and have fun, I’m going to rustle up a couple of beers,” Lefty said patting Gia’s ass.

  “You good?” Monster asked Symone.

  “Yes, go spend time with your boys while this one is docile,” Symone replied, nodding her head at the baby.

  “You don’t have to tell me twice.” Monster grinned.

  Pan squeezed her neck and she smiled at him as he released her and walked away. Their

  gazes held for a few moments before he disappeared into the crowd of people.

  “So, the two of you could set the whole damn room on fire,” Chase whispered.

  “Chase,” Symone scolded.

  “What? You’d have to be blonde not to see the attraction between them. I mean…damn!”

  She fanned her face.

  Lark laughed. Some of the old ladies had been standoffish with her, but these girls she enjoyed spending time with.

  “What about you, huh? No way you’re sitting at home, wearing out Bob’s,” Symone said.

  “Nope. I’m getting it on with some no strings attached action,” Chase replied with a sly grin.

  “Look at her, she’s proud of it!” Gia exclaimed.

  “What? I got nothing to hide.” Chase shrugged.

  “When are you going to settle down?” Symone asked.

  “When I find a person who makes me even halfway consider it. Most, can’t hold my

  attention longer than a couple of months,” Chase admitted.

  “I know that feeling. Before Pan, men were an indulgence I partook of on my own timetable.

  I had rules and they followed them or they were dismissed. I didn’t have time for the emotional investment the way a lot of them wanted,” Lark said.

  “See? She knows what’s up.” Chase nodded.

  “Why is Pan different?” Gia asked.

  “That’s’ the million dollar question isn’t it? I’m still trying to answer that myself. Maybe it was the right time in my life?” Lark shook her head.

  “How did you even meet? None of us have heard the story,” Symone hinted.

  “It’s not glamorous by any means. I stopped for gas at the wrong place and time. The Hell’s Minion’s found out they were being cheated and decided to pay the owner back by destroying him and his business. I happened to be in the shop at the time.” The re-telling took her back to the moment. The hair rose on the back of her neck and her forearms. She wrapped her arms around her waist. “I managed to escape the gunfire and hide out in the bathroom. They found me, of course. They’re not the type to leave loose ends. I attacked and ran right into the brick wall that is Pan.”

  “What did he do?”

  “Nothing. I head-butted him and broke his nose. It knocked me out cold and got me offered up to him for payback.”

  “Holy shit!” Chase rasped. “So, you were his prisoner. This is some Stockholm Syndrome

  type stuff.”

  The payback was almost too much for her to think about even now. All the voices in the room faded away just then, as Lark could still taste his salty flavor in her mouth and remember the feel of a dozen eyes on her as she took him to the back of her throat. Her breasts grew heavy and her cream coated her panties. It’d taken all she had to take in his thick girth. The memory of his payback made her shiver as she stood still.

  “I think we lost her ladies,” Gia quipped.

  Lark blinked and gave herself a mental shake. “I’m sorry.”

  “It’s okay, we know exactly what you were thinking about,” Symone drawled.

  “No, he did what he did to keep me safe. The rest just—developed during that,” Lark

  admitted as her cheeks flamed.

  “Do you believe that?” Symone asked.

  The sympathy in her voice cut Lark deep. “I know that. I’m not a weak-willed woman. I don’t fall over men, ask for help, or want it. We find something in each other that fills the gaps in our lives. It’s crazy, we know it. There’s a risk one day, one of us will wake up and not feel the same. But how is that any different from a relationship with a more traditional beginning?”

  “It’s not,” Gia said. “None of us were forged in a gentle way. We’re not questioning or judging. But we’ve sensed you were on the fence. We just wanted to help you work things out for yourself.”

  “I’m that translucent?” Lark asked.

  “Only to us. Women see things men don’t and we get it. It’s a different world than what you’re used to. It has to be a massive adjustment. We get that,” Symone reassured her.

  “But we also know since you’ve been here, Pan has flourished. If you left…” Chase shook her head.

  “…It’d be a downward spiral that would be hard to watch,” Symone finished the statement.

  “Was he so bad before?” Lark asked.

  “He was drunk more than he was sober, starting fights, fucking anything that walked.”

  Chase’s lip curled up in disgust. “It was an ugly mess.”

  “Wow. He’s always seemed larger than life. Like nothing could touch him.”

  “The love of a good woman can do incredible things to a man,” Symone said.

  “Love?” Lark examined the word. The four letter word. It fit. My God, I’m in love with him!

  Stunned, she glanced up at the women who nodded back at her.

  “Now she gets it,” Gia whispered.

  “When did this happen? How did I not notice?” Lark placed a hand on her cheek. Her head spun. “I—I need air.”

  “Come on, let’s take a walk,” Chase urged. “We’ll be back.”

  She walked behind her, shell-shocked and numb. Nothing made a person more vulnerable

  than love. She’d lost her ability to be objective. The last person she’d given her heart to made a habit of ripping it out on a fairly regular basis. If her blood could do that, how could she trust, Pan not to? She was an addict. Isn’t he? I can’t let her ruin this for me. She knew what she had with Robin was unhealthy and abnormal, but it’d been all she had. Could she overcome a

  lifetime of bad habits? Her stomach ached. She couldn’t the reason for Pan to backslide. They walked out the front door. She sucked in a fresh breath of air.

  A worn box-shaped black sedan skidded into the parking lot. Filthy and rusted, it rose

  warning flags. The door swung open and a woman stepped out on unsteady feet.

  “Fuck, Nat
asha,” Chase whispered.

  “What?”

  “Come on, we need to go. Listen to me, Lark. You need to go inside and tell Demon

  Natasha is here…immediately.”

  “Why don’t you come with me?” Lark asked.

  The woman’s clothing hung off her. Her eyes were dead and her hair looked ragged and

  unkempt. She knew an addict when she saw one. The large, dark circles underneath her eyes and the glazed expression said she was still high.

  “Because I’m going to stall,” Chase whispered.

  “No,” Lark hissed. “You come with me or we both stay.”

  Chase glared at her.

  “I know addicts and this one, is high off her mind and entirely capable of anything. Please come inside with me?”

  Chase sighed. “Fine.”

  They ran for the door and stumbled inside.

  “Demon.” The blood-curdling scream just outside the doors made them flinch.

  “Lock it!” Lark urged.

  Chase complied.

  The crowd parted like the red sea as Demon strode up the center barking orders. The

  children were shepherded to another room. Bullets flew through the door. Chase cried out and fell to the floor. Her blood splashed Larks shirt. She gasped at the sticky heat seeping through her shirt. She stared down at Chase, relieved to see the bullet had only gone through her leg. Two more shots fired, knocking out the lock. The door was thrown open and Lark was knocked to the ground.

  “You ruined my life. I want my kids!” Natasha wailed as she swung the gun around.

  Lark watched in slow motion as Demon pulled a gun from the small of his back, aimed and shot her point blank in the head.

  Her head popped like an overripe melon.

  The squish of brain matter, fluid and blood would be something she’d never forget. Bits of gray sponge plopped onto her shirt. A series of screams went up in the air.

  Pan knelt in front of her and cupped her face. “You’re okay, Lark. You’re fine.”

  At that moment, she realized the screams came from her.

  “How’s she doing?” Demon asked.

  Pan shook his head. “Hard to say, Doc says she’s still in shock. It would be better if I could get her out of those clothes.” He shuddered thinking about what the smudges on her shirt actually were.