Bare Yourself (Consumed: Book Two)

by Alex Grayson

  The night we left his dad’s house, Tegan was very quiet. I know he had a lot of things on his mind, so I kept my distance, but still watched him, just in case he needed me. I was in bed later that evening with a purring Charlie—I named his cat—while Tegan showered. I felt the bed dip, and seconds later his arms were around me. Our lovemaking was quiet, but fierce, like he was trying to exorcise his thoughts from his mind by using my body. I was perfectly fine with that. Whatever he needed, I would give him. I would give him almost anything.

  The next day, he was back to his happy-go-lucky self. But I worry about tomorrow. He’s due to go back for another visit to his mom. I want to offer to go, but I’m not sure if it’s my place. I know my feelings for Tegan are strong, and from what he said the other day and his actions, I feel like his are just as strong as mine. But I don’t know if he’ll want me there. I’m going to bring the subject up tonight. I want to be there for him, even if what he says is true and the thought of his mom dying doesn’t bother him.

  He stops abruptly, and I have to slam to a stop to keep from ramming his heels with the shopping cart. He spins around. “I forgot something. I’ll be right back. Grab a bag of gummy worms for me, please.”

  Before I can respond, he walks off, whistling some random tune. He’s such a goofball sometimes, but damned if I don’t love him.

  I screech to a stop, my eyes going wide.

  “I love Tegan. I love Tegan.” I repeat it over and over. A slow smile creeps over my face when I realize how right it feels to say it out loud and how happy it makes me. I definitely love Tegan. I knew the other day on his way to his dad’s I was falling in love, but now I realize I’ve fallen, and fallen hard. The excitement I feel whenever I know I’m going to see him, the sadness I feel when I have to leave him, the butterflies I get whenever I’m with him—there’s no other feeling beside love that would cause those things. Tegan is the person that makes me the happiest.

  My step is light, and I know my face carries a big silly grin as I move on to the next aisle. I want to scream it to everyone I pass. I want to jump in Tegan’s arms and whisper it in his ear when I see him. But I know I can’t do that, because when I do tell him I love him, I’ll want him to make love to me. I may be getting braver with public exposure, but I know I’ll never be okay with having sex in the middle of a grocery store.

  I happily grab Tegan’s gummy worms, not even worrying they aren’t healthy, then make my way to the next aisle. I find my favorite brand of cereal on the top shelf. I’ve never understood why they make shelves so high, when a person with average height can’t reach the items.

  I’m just about to do a no-no and climb on the bottom shelf when an arm appears in my line of sight.

  “Here, let me grab that for you.”

  The cereal is picked up and placed in my hand. I look up and find a man about my age smiling at me. He’s cute with dark blond hair and deep brown eyes, face shaved clean, and a dimple on his right cheek.

  “Thank you.”

  His smile widens. “My pleasure. You know you’re not supposed to step on the bottom shelf, right?” he says pointedly, then looks to the shelf where it plainly says to ask for an associate for items on the top shelf.

  “Maybe if they wouldn’t make these things so tall, people like me wouldn’t need to do that.”

  He laughs and it comes out rich and deep.

  “My name’s Gage.” He holds out his hand.

  Not wanting to appear rude, I shake it. “I’m Willow.”

  His hand lingers in mine a bit longer than necessary. “A very beautiful name. It sounds soft and graceful. Fitting for a beautiful lady like yourself.”

  I smile, but I know it lacks depth. He seems like a nice guy, even if he is putting it on somewhat thick.

  “Thank you for grabbing this.” I lift the box, then set it in the cart. “I should get going.”

  “I know this is forward,” he says before I can turn my cart around. “But would you like to have coffee with me?”

  I shake my head. “I’m sorry, but—”

  A hard arm wraps around my waist, and I’m pulled to Tegan’s side. His warmth immediately fills me.

  “Can I help you?” he asks the man. I smile inside at the hard edge of his tone, because I know he had to have heard the man ask me out, and he didn’t like it. Stupid man needs to realize he’s the only one for me and he has nothing to worry about.

  Gage keeps his smile, but it loses some of its flair, along with the dimple. “Nope. Just helping your girl out with something on the top shelf.”

  Tegan nods, then grunts, “Thanks, but you can leave now.”

  Gages looks at me, and the dimple returns. “It was nice meeting you, Willow.”

  He turns and walks off. I slap Tegan’s stomach and turn to face him. I can’t keep the smile off my face. I’m still on the high of realizing I love him.

  “You didn’t have to be so rude.”

  He scowls. “And he didn’t have to ask my girlfriend out.”

  I laugh. “He didn’t know I had a boyfriend.”

  “You’re right.” He snags me around the waist and hauls me forward. “I need to get Tegan’s Girl tattooed on your forehead,” he murmurs against my lips.

  “You’re ridiculous, stud,” I tell him with a giggle.

  Pushing him back by the chest, I turn back to the cart and start pushing it forward. His hands land on the bar on either side of mine, caging me in as we walk.

  “Why are you smiling so much?” he asks against my neck.

  “No reason.”

  “You’re lying.”

  I turn my head and kiss his cheek. “You’re right. I am lying. But I’ll tell you the reason later. Now get.” I push back with my hips, which earns me a groan from the intimate contact. “You’re making it difficult to drive this thing, and I’m ready to go.”

  He releases the bar and sidles up next to me, but still puts his hand inside the back pocket of my jean skirt. I feel like I’m in high school again.

  “Did you get my gummy worms?” he inquires, looking inside the cart.

  I roll my eyes. “I did.”

  Ten minutes later, we’re loading up the back of his truck with our purchases when I feel a prickling on the back of my neck, like someone is watching us. I turn and look behind me, but find nothing unusual.

  “What’s wrong?” Tegan asks, and I turn to look at him with a frown.

  “Nothing. I just…” I trail off. “I just had the feeling like someone was watching me.” I shake my head. “I’m sure it was nothing.”

  Tegan turns and scans the area, his eyes watchful and assessing. When his eyes meet mine again, they look cold, and it sends a shiver down my spine.

  “You go get in the car. I’ll finish these.”

  “Tegan.” I grab his arm. “I’m sure it’s nothing. You know how you get that feeling sometimes and nine times out of ten, it’s just your imagination playing tricks on you.”

  “You may be right, but you also may be wrong. I’m not willing to take that chance. Now please, Willow, just get in the truck.”

  I watch him for a moment more. His eyes stay on me, but I know he’s alert to what’s going on around us. I look around one more time before nodding and climbing into the truck. I haven’t heard from my brother since the phone call a week ago and he hasn’t shown his face since he came to Minnie’s house. But that doesn’t mean he’s not out there somewhere. Or he very well could be back in Texas by now. I hate this cat-and-mouse game, because we could be playing it for nothing.

  Tegan gets in the truck a minute later. Although he grabs my hand and laces our fingers together, he’s quiet the entire ride home. I hate that the light mood from earlier is now gone and replaced with something somber.

  I hope for Bryan’s sake that he is back in Texas and has given up his pursuit of our dad’s watch collection, because I get the feeling he won’t fare well if Tegan gets a hold of him.

  I grip Tegan’s hand tightly as we make our w
ay down the hallway to his mom’s room. I’m here because Tegan said he’d like for me to be here. When I asked him last night, he almost looked relieved I suggested it. I was so nervous about asking him, and I almost didn’t, but I’m glad I did. I now realize he’s been coming all these weeks on his own, when he should have had someone with him for moral support. He’s one of the strongest people I know, but even the toughest person needs someone to lean on sometimes. He may not carry any love for the woman who gave birth to him, but that doesn’t mean it still doesn’t hurt that she wasn’t the person she should have been, no matter how much he may not want to admit it. And what he just learned from his dad has to make it harder on him.

  Last night, I also intended to tell Tegan how I felt about him, but it just didn’t seem like the right time. He was distracted and not quite himself. I know it had to do with his upcoming visit and the lingering threat of my brother. I don’t want the first time I tell him I love him to be when he’s filled with stress. I want it to be a special moment.

  When we stop at a partially closed door, I look over at Tegan. His jaw is firm and there’s a tic at his temple. I want to pull his head down and lay a kiss against his lips and tell him it’s going to be okay.

  Instead, I squeeze his fingers to grab his attention.

  “You want a moment alone with her?” I ask quietly.

  His answer is immediate and comes out a bit gruff. “No.”

  He pulls in a deep breath and pushes the door open, then leads us inside. The room we enter is very stale looking. You can tell the nurses have tried to make it more homey with cheap pictures of flowers and sunsets and beaches, but the walls behind the frames are plain white. There’s a potted plant on a small table in the corner, but it’s so cheaply made, there’s no mistaking that it’s fake. There’s a small television mounted on the wall across from the bed. The antiseptic smell in the room is so strong it almost makes me gag.

  We slowly walk to the bed in the middle of the room. The machine beeps steadily, giving the illusion that the person it’s hooked to is alive and healthy. However, it’s only the machines that are keeping the frail-looking woman alive. Tegan explained to me that she only has days, possibly hours left.

  We stop and stare down at his mom. Her hair is a solid gray and is cut to her shoulders. She looks so tiny in the small bed that two more of her could probably fit on it and still have room to spare. Her eyes are closed and tubes are running out of her mouth and nose. Her hands are by her sides.

  I watch Tegan as he looks at her. His expression is devoid of any emotion, and it breaks my heart. A son should be grieving his mother at a time like this, not silently waiting on the moment she takes her last breath. And I know that’s what he’s doing. Not only because he once told me so, but also because of the dead look in his eyes right now. I want to comfort him, but there’s nothing to comfort him for.

  He drops my hand and takes another step toward the bed, until his hips bump the side. His voice is quiet when he speaks.

  “This is going to be the last time I come here. You don’t deserve my visits. You don’t deserve anything from me.”

  I hold my place a couple steps behind him, but it takes all my willpower to do so. I know he needs to do this on his own.

  “I just want you to know that I hate you. I hate you for everything you made me do. I hate you for hurting the little boy I was. I hate you for taking me away from Dad. I hate you for hurting the man who loved you. I hate you for taking away my childhood and showing me the ugly side of the world. And I regret never telling you all this. It may make me a bad person, but I’m glad you’ll no longer be of this world. It’s people like you that don’t belong here.”

  His fists clench at his sides, betraying his emotions. Tears spring to my eyes, and I step forward and grab his hand. He looks down at me, and for the first time since we stepped foot in this place, he shows me his gorgeous smile. It’s sad and not as big as his signature grin, but it’s there nonetheless.

  We don’t stay after that. I think all along this visit was meant to be short and his goodbye to her. He laces our fingers together and we turn to leave. He doesn’t look back once. I ache for him because of the possibility of the future regret for not looking back one last time. I don’t tell him this because there’s no way I could ever know what he went through as a kid. This is his way of coping, and if it’s this he needs, then who am I tell talk him into doing something he doesn’t want to do?

  “Mr. Zander!” someone calls. He halts and we both turn to find an older nurse rushing our way. She has something in her hand.

  She’s out of breath when she stops in front of us.

  “Nancy,” Tegan acknowledges. “We were just leaving. This’ll be my last visit here.”

  She smiles sadly at him. “I know. I heard you talking to her.” She holds out a white envelope. “I rushed away to get this. It’s for you.”

  “What is it?” Tegan asks, not taking the envelope, instead eyeing it suspiciously.

  “She wrote it a couple years ago and asked me to try and find you and give it to you when she died.”

  Tegan shakes his head. “What she had to say, I don’t want to hear.”

  “Please, Tegan,” she says, her voice urgent. “I don’t know what happened between you two, but I know she hurt you in some way. It’s there in your eyes each time you visit.” She shakes the envelope. “This may not make whatever happened better, but it may explain things. Read it if you want or don’t read it, but take it just in case.”

  His jaw works furiously as he eyes the envelope. Instead of making him make the decision, I reach out and take the envelope for him. He may burn it later so he can never read it, but I want him to have that choice. I’ll keep it for him until he decides.

  “Thank you,” I tell the nurse.

  She smiles at me, steps up to Tegan, and places a hand on his arm. “I’ve only known you for a few months, but I’m going to miss seeing you. I’m so sorry for whatever you went through. Take care of yourself, Tegan.”

  “Thank you, Nancy,” he says gruffly. “You as well.”

  I slip the envelope in my purse and we leave. His grip on my hand is tighter than normal as we walk back out to the truck. He releases it just long enough for both of us to get inside, then takes my hand again. He doesn’t talk and neither do I for most of the trip. We’re both exhausted when we walk into his house later that evening. We shower together, then climb into bed, where we both fall into a deep sleep.

  Chapter Fifteen

  Tegan

  I push Willow into the first alley I come across and back her against the wall. Caging her in with my arms, I dip my head and start sucking at her neck. Her head thumps back against the brick wall and she laughs.

  “What are you doing?” she asks. Her laugh becomes a giggle when the scruff on my face tickles her neck.

  “You fucking drove me crazy back there,” I growl against her neck. “You can’t expect to play with me like that and not follow through.” I nip at her ear to let her know I’m serious.

  Her giggles are now a breathy moan. “I’m sorry.”

  “No, you’re not,” I grunt, grinding my dick against her lower stomach. “You knew exactly what you were doing, didn’t you?”

  “Maybe,” she whimpers.

  The woman is a damn tease sometimes, and I fucking love it.

  We were in a store shopping for Minnie’s birthday gift when Willow got a wild hair up her ass and decided she wanted to cop a feel. I was looking at a charm bracelet that caught my eye for Willow, when I felt arms slide around me. A second later I was rock hard from her breasts pressed against my back and her hand down my pants grabbing my dick. The store was full of people, and had I been younger and as bold as I used to be, I’d have taken her to an empty aisle and fucked her brains out. Luckily for us, I’ve learned control since then—but unlucky for my deprived cock.

  Ten minutes later, I got another surprise when she sidled up next to me and rubbed her fingers agai
nst my lips. Fingers that were coated in her juices. I almost fucking lost it. And then, five minutes ago, she thought it was a fine fucking idea to flash me her tits when no one was looking.

  After that, I was done, and here we are now, with her legs around my waist and my mouth devouring hers, seconds away from ripping her panties to the side and fucking her in this dirty alley. She asked for it, she tempted me knowing what I like, so she’ll get it.

  I groan when I reach beneath her skirt and find not even a hint of cloth covering her.

  “Jesus, fuck. Have you been without panties this whole time?”

  Her breath whispers against my lips when she laughs and says, “No, I took them off in aisle three. They’re in my purse.”

  “Damn it, woman. You’re going to kill me.”

  “Well, can you can fuck me before you go?”

  I slip my fingers inside her slick pussy and scissor them back and forth. “Oh, you can bet your ass I’m gonna to fuck you.”

  She looks to the left, then to the right, I’m sure to see if anyone’s around, then grinds her hips down on my fingers.

  “Please hurry,” she begs. “I need you inside me.”

  I shove my fingers inside her as far as they will go, then pull them from her body. Reaching between us, I undo my jeans and pull out my cock.

  We found out last week she wasn’t pregnant, so she immediately started on the pill. Thank fucking Christ for that, because I love feeling her bare pussy against me. Yes, we both realize going without condoms so soon after her starting the pill could result in her getting pregnant. The thought of that possibility makes me entirely too happy. I’m not sure about Willow, but I felt a hint of disappointment when she told me she wasn’t pregnant.