"Is Mitch around? I could do with seeing him before I leave."
"He's in the clubhouse, sorting out some paperwork."
"Is it okay to go and see him?"
"Of course it is."
I smiled and made my way across the yard in the direction of the clubhouse. I wanted him to do some digging for me on James and knew that he had the power to do so. I could've probably gone straight to Caleb but I wanted to keep him involved like he'd asked me to and he may even have some answers to my questions. I felt bad asking someone to dig around into James' private life but I was developing feelings for him and wanted to know what exactly he was hiding from me.
As I entered the building I noticed how particularly quiet it was and saw a large man sitting on one of the stools at the far end of the club. Although sitting I could see that he was tall and his bicep muscles were straining to release themselves from his tight polo shirt. I sniggered to myself for noticing such a thing as I walked further into the room hearing the sound of my heels as they made contact with the floor. I saw the man swivel around on his stool in my peripheral vision, and quickly held my hand up, "Sorry I didn't want to interrupt you, I'm just looking for Mitchell." I stated continuing towards his office.
"Vixen!"
The hairs on the back of my neck stood on end from that one simple word and I let out a long sigh as I knew exactly who was talking to me. I stopped in my tracks and slowly turned around to marvel at Blake's presence.
"I didn't know you were visiting." I stated coldly as I wrapped my arms around my chest trying to offer myself a layer of protection as my heart rate quickened.
"Well I could've explained but you didn't come to see me."
"I was busy." I turned on my heels wanting to get away from him, my body reacted in different ways when I was near him and I didn't want to rehash any of those feelings.
"Why are you rushing off, can't we be adult about this and have a discussion."
His words stung and I immediately went from flight to fight as I spun around aggressively. "Don't you fucking dare try using reverse psychology on me."
"What do you mean?" he asked shrugging. "I just want to talk to you and explain a few things."
"I think you're a little late with the whole apology thing Blake."
He furrowed his brows, "I've got nothing to apologise for so I won't be doing that and why the fuck are you calling me Blake?"
I scoffed at his comment, "You have the balls to question me why I'm running off when you did exactly the same five years ago without even saying goodbye."
"Hold up a minute, are you really going there?" I placed my hands on my hips and stood expectantly widening my eyes indicating that I was and I meant what I said. "Well then a few home truths are gonna come out babe and I don't think you'll like them."
"I don't have to listen to this shit." I turned around and heard him move behind me.
"It's the least you can fucking do after the way you behaved."
Blake grabbed my arm and spun me around, "Get the fuck off me Blake."
"What's the matter Vixen don't you like it rough anymore. That sort of thing used to send you wild if I remember rightly."
I pulled my hand back ready to lash out and it was caught forcefully around the wrist. I noticed Blake's eyes widen and he let go of his grasp on me and stepped back with an apologetic look on his face. I spun around to see Andy holding my wrist and the abuse that was going to leave my mouth halted when I saw the expression on his face. He was a man of little words and only said what needed to be said but he was the Sergeant at Arms, the enforcer and if someone stepped out of line you knew about it as Andy was the club member to deal with all situations and he did so with an iron fist.
"I don't give a shit whose sister you are, you do not hit another club member am I making myself clear?"
His words hurt but I knew I'd over stepped the mark. Blake shuffled forward, "It wasn't her fault Bear, I pushed her buttons. I deserved what she was about to give me." Andy glanced at Blake, "I'll deal with you in a minute." He said coldly before turning his attention back to me, "Get yourself off home."
"But I need to see Mitchell."
"Home!" He said firmly pointing towards the door. I was annoyed that he'd belittled me in front of Blake but I was sure he wouldn't be let off so lightly for manhandling me.
"Did you manage to see Duke?" Frank asked from across the yard.
"No, I've been sent home by Andy like a naughty school girl." Frank could see my frustration and sniggered as I petulantly made my way across the yard towards him.
"I take it you ran into Recon then?"
I rolled my eyes, "Well it would've been nice to have been warned."
"Where's the fun in that?" he sniggered.
"Any chance of calling me a taxi?" I asked realising that I was now stranded here and I didn't want to antagonise Andy any further by hanging around.
"Why don't you take that for a ride?" Frank pointed in the direction of my old motorcycle. I hadn't ridden since I cut some of my ties from the club five years ago but Ethan had continued to pay for the insurance for when I was ready to get back on it.
"I'm not sure Frank." I said pondering his words.
"Are you annoyed and frustrated?"
I looked at him questioningly, "Yes!"
"Well what better way to relieve some of that pent up frustration?" I smiled knowing he was right, there was nothing like riding to help you forget about your worries especially on a day like today. Frank pointed to the office, "All of your stuff is still in the locker, go and help yourself."
I analysed what he'd just said as the excitement built inside me. I didn't have anything to lose, "You've twisted my arm Frank." I bowled into the office and opened my locker where I'd put my leathers and helmet, and was grateful that I hadn't put on a considerable amount of weight over the years. I'd been an avid passenger when I was younger, riding on the back of Ethan's and Connor's bikes but it was Mitchell who encouraged me to learn how to ride. He'd take me out and let me have a go of his prized possession with him straddling behind me making sure I was safe, and eventually I plucked up the courage to take proper lessons and then my test. The guys always spoke about the freedom it gave you and how it was the closest thing to flying that you were ever going to encounter but it wasn't until I'd experienced it for myself that I could truly appreciate what they were talking about.
I removed my jacket and held it to my nose breathing in the scent that I had missed so much over the years before I changed into my leathers. They didn't look the coolest of things but I was a safety girl unlike the guys from the club that were happy to ride wearing their jeans.
I walked into the garage holding my helmet, "You look hot." I looked up to see Blake leaning against the doorframe leering at me. I ignored his comment but remembered all too well how he liked me in leather and the times we used to go for a ride and end up in a remote part of the countryside and stopped to pleasure each other in a farmer's field. I sniggered at the thought which earnt me an unreadable expression from Frank as I walked over to my Harley.
"Has it been used recently?" I asked hoping that it would still work.
Frank nodded his head, "Duke takes it out once a fortnight for a ride." I raised my brows surprised by what he'd just said and he simply shrugged in return. "Here, you're gonna need these," Frank threw me the key and I caught it excitedly in my right hand. I moved my leg to place the key into the ignition on the side of the bike and closed my eyes feeling the vibrations beneath me.
I heard a snigger and opened my eyes to see Blake push from the doorframe and make his way towards me, "You always did love that throbbing between your thighs." I placed my helmet onto my head and was surprised when Blake quickly moved to my side to knock my hands away so that he could fasten the strap securely under my chin. He looked at me with that hungry expression that used to send me wild and ran the back of his hand gently down my cheek. I couldn't help but close my eyes and leaned into his touch as my b
reathing became shallow. I cursed myself knowing that I looked like a wanton woman and a shot of rage ran through me when I opened my eyes to see his sickening smile. Blake knew what he did to me, and he was using this moment to prove a point as he slowly removed his hand to place it in his pocket.
I smiled back at him and wiggled my index finger in the air beckoning him closer, his grin grew wider with excitement as he stepped forward and leaned down so that his face was just inches away from mine.
"You've got more chance of seeing monkey's flying out your arse than getting in my knickers, am I making myself clear?" I heard the roar of laughter from Frank and Cade as they stood watching the show play out in front of them. Blake continued to smile and I knew this wouldn't stop him in his pursuit to get my attention or whatever game he was currently playing. I shut my visor and waved to Frank before I set off from the yard, I needed this time to clear my head and decide what I was going to do regarding Blake. I didn't want to be around him, the two of us were a toxic combination and I was fearful that my longing for James would be misconstrued as yeaning for Blake which couldn't be much further from the truth.
I found solace riding my motorcycle, I'd forgotten just how much I enjoyed riding it and made a note to remember to find the time to enjoy myself and do the things that made me happy. After cruising around the local area for some time, I realised that I needed some fuel and headed for the nearest petrol station in Ongar.
I pulled up at the pump and swung my leg over the motorcycle before unscrewing the petrol cap to fill up my baby. While standing at the pump I looked across the road at the small parade of shops and felt my heart lurch as I saw James holding the hand of a young boy who couldn't be much older than eight. I turned my head slightly and watched them walk towards his vehicle that I hadn't noticed earlier. James and the young boy leaned their backs against it and shared a joke as they chatted as I heard the laughter drift towards me. I followed James' eye line towards the door of the shop and I felt a pang of hurt as a teenage girl walked towards them with her arms held wide so she could embrace James.
"Are you people watching?" I spun around and knocked the nozzle from the hole spilling petrol all over the garage forecourt.
"Maggie, you gave me a fucking fright!"
"Obviously but that means you were either preoccupied or up to no good?"
"Well both actually. Here, take a look across the road at that black Range Rover." I nodded my head in the direction I was talking about.
Maggie slowly looked over my shoulder, to take in the sight of James and the two children. "Well babe there are a few ways you can deal with this."
"And they are?"
She let out a sigh, "The Amy I know would go over there and in conversation ask who the kids are because he wouldn't be able to lie to you as the kids expressions would give it away."
I pondered Maggies response but quickly shook my head as I wouldn't be able to do it, I couldn't put him in an uncomfortable position in front of what could possibly be his children. I toyed with the idea briefly and the statement didn't sit right but everything started to fall into place. The random phone calls, having to go home early and never once inviting me back to his house. I groaned at the thought and rubbed my forehead feeling a headache coming on. What was I going to do?
"So what are you going to do?" she asked genuinely intrigued.
"Nothing!"
"Nothing?"
"Yep, I'm going home and I'm gonna get dressed up and go out and have a fantastic evening."
"As simple as that?"
"Yep, and I'm not going to think about James Hudson once."
"Now I know you're lying. Like I said, the Amy I know would've gone over there and spoken to him so that now means one of two things."
"Enlighten me!" I said dryly.
"You either dislike him so it doesn't matter what he's been hiding or you really like him and are prepared to stick your head in the sand about the whole situation."
"I can't do this right now Maggie." I stated walking across the forecourt.
"The problem won't go away if you simply chose to ignore it Amy." Maggie shouted after me. I knew she was right but I also knew the answer to my own question. Those children had to be his and therefore he'd lied to me but then again had he, because he technically hadn't told me and I certainly didn't ask. I groaned at the thought, my head was spinning with questions but I wasn't in the mood to be rational. I paid the lady at the counter for my petrol and walked back across the forecourt to mount my motorcycle, I glanced around me looking for signs of James and Maggie but fortunately they had both gone. I breathed a sigh of relief and knew that I needed to get home and think about just how far I was going to stick my head in the sand.
"You're hitting it hard tonight Amy." Pearl stated as she sipped her drink.
"I've had a day of it to be honest. What with seeing James with his kids and Blake coming back on the scene my head's all over the place."
"And you think a vodka and orange is going to solve that?"
"No but tonight it will help me forget and I can deal with everything in the morning."
"The way you're knocking them back I doubt you'll see the morning!"
"Well that's the plan." I said winking at her as she giggled. I could feel myself slowly becoming more intoxicated throughout the evening but I just wanted to forget about Blake and James and have some fun. The problem I had though was the more I drank, the more I wanted to talk to James but I didn't know what to say. The likelihood was that those two children were his, and he had hidden that fact from me during the time we'd been dating. It wasn't a little white lie, this was a massive thing especially in the light of my situation in not being able to have children. I appreciate that in the early stages of a relationship you don't want to introduce your children to your new partner just in case things don't work out but you at least let that person know that you have children. Yet again, I had so many questions and I was holding back from blurting things out but I could slowly feel that the alcohol was making me brave.
"You've been twirling that phone around in your hand for the last hour, what's going on?"
I held up the phone to show Pearl the number of missed calls and messages James had sent me this evening and immediately saw her confused expression.
"What?"
"I just don't understand Amy. If you like him and he likes you why would you not want to speak to him?"
"I'm just trying to think of the right words to say."
Pearl sniggered, "No, you're just putting off the inevitable." I rolled my eyes at her comment. "Well I'm right. Just bloody ask him if they're his kids and then where you go with that is up to you but I really can't see that being an issue."
I let out a loud sigh and sat back in my chair as my vision was becoming blurry. I was always the voice of reason and dealt with other people's problems well but when it came to my own I wasn't as head strong.
"I'm going to call him." I stated feeling a little brave from the alcohol.
Pearl sniggered as she stood, "I'm going to get us some drinks and give you some privacy."
I dialled James' number and he picked up on the second ring, "I've been worried about you Ames, I nearly called Diesel."
"You don't need to worry about me, coz I ain't yours to worry about," I slurred.
"I'm assuming you've been drinking." He stated hesitantly.
"You're assuming right."
"Who are you with and where are you?" He asked slightly panicked.
"I'm in a bar with Pearl. Anyway I've phoned up to tell you off so stop trying to confuse me."
"I'm just concerned about your welfare babe that's all."
"Well like I said, I'm not yours to worry about."
"Why do you keep saying that Ames because if you're not mine, you're implying that you belong to someone else."
I sniggered, "Nope, no one else's but I'm not yours because you lied to me."
"What have I possibly lied about Ames?" James asked confused.
"You have children!" The line went silent and I could hear my own heart beat quicken in my chest as I prayed for me to be wrong but the longer I waited for his response the more the realisation was setting in, that he had two children and had hidden them from me.
I heard him let out a long sigh, "You're correct I do have children, two fantastic children."
"So why didn't you tell me about them James?"
"I seriously don't know, the longer I left it the harder it became and then you shared the information regarding your ordeal which made it more difficult."
"I don't need you to pity me," I spat. "I just wanted you to be honest."
"I can only apologise."
"Do and say what you like, I'm not bothered anymore." I hung up my phone and placed it on silent. I knew that by ending the call, James would be annoyed and he'd call me back but I wasn't in the mood to talk to him.
I sat in the booth and drained the last of the liquid from my glass waiting for Pearl to return from the bar when a song that Blake and I used to enjoy played sweetly through the speakers. I groaned as Steven Tyler's sultry voice sang the song as it only reminded me of him but this evening was about forgetting not reminiscing. I still had my phone in my hand and pondered if I'd even be able to make contact with Blake should I want to. I should've deleted his number years ago but I hadn't quite had the nerve and secretly hoped that he'd make contact when he eventually calmed down after our altercation but it never happened. I slid my finger across the screen and found his number still programmed under 'Sex God' and sniggered as I pressed the screen to dial his number before I talked myself out of it.
"Vixen? Is everything okay?"
"No, don't think that you can just turn back up here and worm yourself back into my life. Five years is a long time Blake and I've moved on during that time."
"Are you pissed?"
"No, I'm just merry." I sniggered.
"Who are you with?"
"What is it with you men? Do you think I'm in a pub by myself getting shit faced?"
"I don't know that's why I'm asking."
"Well I'm fine. Anyway do you hear what I'm trying to say?" There was no response and I slowly moved my iPhone away from my ear to look at the screen to see that the call had been ended. He'd fucking hung up on me. I could feel the rage build inside as I sat contemplating what to do next. Should I call him again to finish what I'd started or should I leave it and forget about the whole situation? I huffed as Pearl placed a large vodka and orange in front of me and immediately decided to forget about Blake as I'd only antagonise him further.
Amy (Aces MC Series Book 3.5) Page 17