Pretty Ugly (Addicted Hearts Book 2)

by Jane Anthony

  Chapter 26

  Kat

  Childbirth. The whole idea is barbaric. With all the technology in the world, you’d think they could have developed a better system than this, but nope! I’ve been poked and prodded, hooked up to IVs and monitors, and given a delicious lunch of ice chips and water. For the second time this year, I find myself dressed in white sitting in a hospital room. Only this time, I’m the patient.

  What.

  The.

  Fuck?

  As a stabbing pain tears through my gut, I double over, clutching my middle with a pathetic whimper. The contractions are a steady five minutes apart. It could be hours before there’s any kind of real activity, but here I sit, all dressed up with nowhere to go. Another wedding day ruined by circumstance. What are the odds? Fate is fucking with me. Dangling this carrot of normalcy just out of reach. So close, yet still so far. I refuse to take this lying down. Well, technically I’ll be lying down—they just wheeled in my epidural—but I digress.

  I’m tired of waiting in this absurd limbo. It’s been a bitch of a year, a broken carnival ride that spins and spins without end. Well, I feel like throwing up and just want to get off already. Go on something simpler, like the teacups or the Ferris wheel. Something that moves slowly and easily at a nice, comfortable pace. For fuck’s sake, I want to marry Chase, have our baby, and settle into our life together.

  Is that too much to ask?

  “How are we feeling?” the anesthesiologist asks in a tone that’s a little too chipper for my liking. I flash him daggers, turning my lips down in a pout. “I see we had other plans today.”

  Well, thank you, Captain Obvious. What was your first clue?

  “Nothing important,” I reply, smiling sweetly.

  “Well, you have some visitors waiting in the hall. We’ll get you comfortable, and then they can come in. Come sit on the edge of the bed.” Kicking my legs over the side, I sit up and wait as he instructs Chase to stand in front of me and hold my hands while I curl forward.

  Oddly enough, the lyrics to “Comfortably Numb” roll through my head. An icy blast slithers up my spine as the drug does its job, and soon enough, my legs are nothing but two useless hunks of meat.

  I settle back in bed, any residual pain melting away. “Everything okay?” Chase slides his hand into mine, warmth radiating from his crystal gaze.

  “Super,” I reply with a reassuring grin. “Can you send everyone in?” I ask the anesthesiologist as he packs up to leave.

  His pleasant voice echoes in the bustling hall. A split second later, Nikos materializes in the doorway. Wavy black hair shines in the light. He’s handsome. Strong brows and razor-edged jaw. A carbon copy of our father but less intense around the eyes. He smiles as he enters, his wife, Anna, and the priest not far behind. “Hey, Nikos. Thanks for coming.”

  “How am I gonna give you away from a hospital bed?”

  “It’s symbolic.”

  “I think it’s sweet,” Anna adds. She settles next to me and rests her palms on the giant white hump sticking up between us. “Don’t you come out until Mommy and Daddy say I do!” she speaks to my stomach while Nikos sets up an iPad from the corner of the room. Athena’s smiling face pops on the screen.

  “‘Thene!” I squeal.

  “If you think I’d miss this, Kitty, you’re nuts! Hey, Chase.” Chase smiles and waves.

  A moment later, Lainie arrives with Erik. I quirk a questioning brow. Lainie just shrugs, her light pink hair tied in a neat bun at the back of her head, little curly tendrils falling around her neck and ears. She’s dressed in a strapless Dolce that emphasizes her tiny waist. I’m instantly jealous. “Oh my gosh, Kat, this is, like, the most romantic thing I’ve ever witnessed in my life!” she gushes, running up to hug me. Her heels clack along the floor in a quick succession, the scents of lavender and cardamom wafting off her. “Don’t ask,” she whispers in my ear before untangling her embrace. She turns and grabs Chase next as Erik walks farther into the room.

  “Hope it’s okay that I’m here.”

  “Why wouldn’t it be okay? You’re my best friend. You belong here.” A sudden wave of emotion hits all at once. It dampens my eyes and constricts my throat, making the sentiment stall on my lips. My gaze scans the crowd gathered around me. There was a time I felt so alone on this Earth that I was stuck, my feet lodged in the sand, unable to move. I lived that way for so many years. I navigated the world with blinders on, never accepting the support standing behind me.

  All I ever wanted, all I ever needed is here in my arms. We don’t always see eye to eye, but when push comes to shove, these six smiling faces have always been there when I needed them most. “You all belong here. You’re my family, blood or not. There are no words to thank you for everything you’ve done for me this year. For us,” I weep, reaching out to touch Chase’s hand.

  His fingers wrap around mine and squeeze. “Well said, baby.”

  Grabbing a tissue, I dab my eyes. “Let’s do this!”

  All around me, my family gathers in. Father Eliades stands at the foot of my bed and opens his bible. “The rings?” Nikos digs into his pocket and drops the bands in the priest’s right hand. He blesses them and makes the sign of the cross over our heads. The Orthodox religion doesn’t waste time with traditional vows. Chase and I are joined together in faith, and in oneness of mind, in truth, and in love. The sacrament is a union, not a contract.

  Later, Chase and I will exchange our own vows privately. Promises we made, we’ll share with one another when the dust clears, and we have a moment alone. We don’t need to prove our love to the world. That little piece will be ours to cherish.

  Prayers are said, rings are exchanged, and through it all, the light shining in Chase’s eyes reflects everything I’m feeling at this very moment. It’s unconventional and strange, but then again, so are we. A wayward alcoholic and a devastated drug user. The idea has disaster written all over it, but somehow, it worked. We’re damaged and broken and fucked up beyond repair, but our torn and jagged edges fit. Apart, were two fractured souls. Together, we’re flawless.

  “By virtue of the authority vested in me as an officiant, and the laws of this state, I now pronounce you husband and wife. Therefore, what God has joined together, let man not separate. You may kiss the bride!”

  A riot of cheers breaks out in the small delivery room as Chase leans in and presses his lips to mine. It’s not what I planned, but I wouldn’t change it.

  Today, we became husband and wife. Soon, we’ll be parents.

  One story ends, another begins.

  Playlist

  “My Immortal” – Evanescence

  “If You Only Knew” – Shinedown

  “Amazed” – Lonestar

  “Addicted” – Saving Abel

  “Yours” – Russell Dickerson

  “Wrecking Ball” – Miley Cyrus

  “Tangled Up in You” – Staind

  “Comfortable Numb” – Pink Floyd

  “Numb” – Linkin Park

  “Trust” – The Cure

  “What I’ve Done” – Linkin Park

  “Love Me Like You Do” – Ellie Goulding

  “So Far Away” – Staind

  “God Gave Me You” – Blake Shelton

  “Comatose” – Skillet

  “RX (Medicate)” – Theory of a Deadman

  “It’s Been A While” – Staind

  “House of the Rising Sun” – The Animals

  “Through Glass” – Stone Sour

  “How You Remind Me” – Nickelback

  “What About Us” – P!nk

  “With Arms Wide Open” – Creed

  Find the full list here

  Acknowledgments

  Y’all have read Pretty Reckless -- if you’re reading this, you must have, right -- so you already know how much that story meant to me. By the time I hit publish, I was strung out on my own words, the cracks in my heart oozing and festering for all to see. I left my soul clinging to
the pages of that book. It was hard to write, and I was so happy when I finished, but the strangest thing happened. Kat and Chase wouldn’t go away.

  When I wrote “The end” on Pretty Reckless, I swear I meant it. I hadn’t planned on continuing Kat and Chase’s story. Kat said yes, it was sweet and adorable and everyone cheered the victory that was their HEA, but it wasn’t finished. Not by a long shot. Chase had so much he still needed to say. Kat had so much growing left to do. They just weren’t done.

  Anyone who’s read my stories will know that I’m set in reality. I don’t write a lot of unrealistic fluff or insta-love type scenarios. I thrive on the angst. I get off on the drama of real-life issues. Life hurts. That’s the sad truth. Addiction isn’t a one and done disease. It’s a daily battle that can easily get the best of you.

  According to The National Institute on Drug Abuse, relapse rates among recovering drug addicts are between 40 and 60 percent in the first four years after rehab, and among the more than 64,000 drug overdose deaths estimated in 2016, the sharpest increase occurred among deaths related to synthetic opioids with over 20,000 overdose deaths. That number is staggering and it only gets larger.

  A lot of the heartache Chase went through was inspired by a family I’d been put in touch with through one of my beta readers. For the sake of their anonymity, I won’t drop their name here, but speaking to them was a remarkable eye opener. Many of Chase’s setbacks were inspired by that family’s struggle with a drug-addicted loved one. I thank them so much for bringing me into their lives and telling me so many personal, painful details, and for helping me spin Chase’s story the way it’s meant to be told. It just broke my heart. I wish you all the best, and hope your son finds the peace he needs to recover for good.

  Another resource I found particularly helpful was the opiate addiction page on Redd-it. I had the pleasure of talking with many survivors. Success stories who’ve kicked the habit and are living better lives as a result. They were able to give me amazing insight to the inner workings of an addict’s mind while going through rehab and the various stages of recovery.

  Last but not least, I spent hours on the phone with Kendall Blackburn Barnett going over medical details and prescriptions drug effects on the body and all that medical crap I didn’t understand, but tried to make work anyway. Kendall, you were a huge help in getting me over the hump of Chase’s accident and detailing all that jazz. I asked you a bazillion questions and you answered all of them with an adorable Tennessee twang and laugh. Thank you so much!

  Of course, I also need to thank the people who worked with me to polish and prettify the grit after I’d gotten it all on paper.

  Candice Royer – My editor, my friend, my constant supporter. You were always an amazing part of my writing process, but somehow you’ve also become an amazing friend to me! Thank you for everything you do to help me with my words and my craziness.

  Jenny Sims – As usual, you fit me into your busy schedule because I can’t get my head out of my butt long enough to make a real appointment. I really don’t ever want to publish a book without you working your magic on it!

  Allison – Holy crap, woman! I asked you for a simple second proofread and you took that little request and ran with it. I’m amazed. Truly. With every screenshot, I wanted to hide under rock and never come out, but you seriously polished this manuscript up until it shined like a diamond.

  My betas –Brooke Lee, Jill V., Jenny G., Jamie O., & Robin W. You guys ROCK! Love your notes, suggestions, and comments. Melissa F., you alpha read this one and seriously, it’s the reason I got it done so quickly. With every chapter I sent, you kept demanding more, and that forced me to power through and get it done!

  Special shout out to Dani René for doing basically everything else LOL. Let’s see … beta reader, cover designer, teaser creator, formatter, cheerleader, Chase lover … have I left anything out? You make me nuts and I want to strangle you at least once a day, but I’m positive that feeling is mutual which makes our friendship so good. And no, I’m not stoned, stopping asking! Haha! Thanks for being a great friend. I appreciate everything you do to help me. I love your face. And Jagger Pierce. ;)

  My street team ladies (and gentleman) – Melissa Fisher, Jackie V. BookNerd, Melissa Pascoe, Renee Love, AuthorTanner Chase, PA Allison, Nicole Grube, Cindy Gibson, Niki Roge, Stracey Charran, Jenz Wootton, TJ Namaste, Cassy Kubehl, Michele Del Rey, Carol Hepstall, Jolene St Germain Triggs, & Sam Clingenpeel. You guys rock!

  Special thanks to #TheSquad - Brooke O'Brien, Kimberly Reese, Meg Anne, Liv Moore, Harloe Rae, CL Stacey, JL Davis, Paige Fieldsted, Jessica McCrory, Nicole French, Ava Alise. I’ve really only just met y’all in the past couple months, but you’ve all gotten to be such important fixtures in my life! Thanks for your help, the shout-outs, the shares, the comments, the laughs, the sarcasm, the inappropriate humor, the dick pics, and the corn dogs. You guys are great, and I feel privileged to be part of the team.

  Ena from Enticing Journey Book Promotion – another amazing job. I recommend you to everyone I know. I’ve never been unhappy with you guys.

  All the bloggers – I wouldn’t be here if it weren’t for you sharing my work. It’s awesome and I appreciate everything you do for Indie authors like me. Thank you!

  I always save my Addicts for last because they’re my favorite! Love love love hearing from you guys, seeing your group posts, and getting your naughty PMs. One of the best things about being an indie author is getting to know the readers. It’s my favorite part of the journey.

  About the Author

  Writing what vibrates within her soul -- romance, rock, representing Jersey moms in mini vans righteously -- Jane Anthony gives a bit of herself and her quirky knowledge in each novel by incorporating her love of music through a book-specific playlist and adding things uniquely Jane to the plot, like her crazy family or '80s trivia. When she’s not busy being mom or Mrs. A, you'll find her at a concert, lost in a book, or on Facebook with her adoring readers.

  www.janeanthonyauthor.com

  Books by Jane Anthony

  Addicted Hearts Series

  Pretty Reckless

  (book one)

  His Addiction. Her Salvation.

  Pretty Ugly

  (book two)

  The ugliest lies at the ones we tell ourselves

  Secrets and Promises

  He was everything I desired except for one thing I needed most: My brother’s approval.

  Chasing Casey

  A sexy country boy and a sultry rocker— how’s a girl to choose?

  KADE: A Second Chance Rockstar Romance

  One night. No rules. No strings

  ...until he fell for her.

  Resurrecting Hope

  Becoming someone else was her only escape.

  Become a lie was the only way to survive.

  Find Jane Online

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