One Step Ahead

by J. J. Kapka

  The waiter delivered their steaming bowls of soup, full of the smell of fresh herbs and garden-grown tomatoes.

  Becker lifted his spoon. “Tell me.”

  Maddie proceeded to explain how she’d gotten herself back on her feet in London. How she’d decided that she wasn’t going to think about the breakup until she got back home. How she had set her mind to simply trying to enjoy the moment, albeit after a lot of crying and some momentary why-me questions. As she recounted the way the London portion of their trip had picked up starting the morning after they parted, Madison found herself buoyed by the memories that came rushing back. Enthusiastically, she recounted her London experiences, and in a rush, she moved on to Paris.

  “That’s where I first saw you with someone else,” Becker reminded her.

  “That was Thierry,” Maddie said with a bit more fervor than she should have. Suddenly realizing the revelations she would have to make if she continued on at this level of detail, Maddie decided to give Becker more of a broad-strokes picture of her time in Paris.

  But Becker had sensed from her tone of voice and her body language that Thierry was something more than just a tour guide. Perhaps his brief glimpse of the two of them on the boat had shown him there was more there than met the eye.

  Maddie could see the stirrings of jealousy in his eyes as he started pressing her for more details. She tried desperately to think two steps ahead of Becker’s questions. She knew that at this rate, she’d have to admit to having gone to bed with Thierry, and what with everything else that had been going on in their lives, she wasn’t quite ready to make that admission.

  Whether she was ready or not, Becker kept pressing for answers. Maddie watched as he listened to her increasingly damaging story and saw that he’d given up on eating.

  At last, the inevitable question came. “Did you sleep with him?”

  Maddie trembled. “Yes,” she quietly answered.

  Becker laid down his spoon. Gazing down at the tabletop, he forced himself to continue. “And? Was he a good French lover?” he asked with more than a hint of sarcasm.

  “Becker.” Maddie reached across the table to his hand, which he quickly withdrew. “You have to remember where I was coming from. We’d just set off on this wonderful adventure, and no sooner had we started than you dumped me.” Wringing her hands in misery, Maddie felt her heart start tearing all over again at the memory. “I was mad at you, but I didn’t set out to sleep with him on purpose. It came about so naturally. Not rushed. Thierry was an incredibly sweet man, and as vulnerable as I was feeling right then, he was just what I needed. My confidence couldn’t have been any lower, and he just rode in like a knight on a white horse to rescue my self-esteem and make me feel, well, like a desirable woman again. Something I sure didn’t feel like after that first night in London.”

  Becker still wouldn’t look up, and Maddie found herself overcome with frustration. “From what you told me about your wild night in Amsterdam, it didn’t exactly sound like you were after a chaste night of watching the Dutch version of Wheel of Fortune when you went back to that woman’s—er, man’s apartment.”

  Flushing, Becker picked up his head and stared at Maddie with pain in his eyes. “But that wasn’t anything. If anything, I was just—oh, I don’t know. I think I was just trying to get back at you. You’d looked so content in Paris. I couldn’t believe you could get over me that quickly.”

  “I wasn’t over you. Then again, I didn’t have much choice in the matter of whether I wanted to get over you, did I?” Maddie asked fervently.

  Becker nodded in mute agreement. “Was he worth it?”

  “I wouldn’t put it like that, but if you must know, he was pretty damn good. In fact, I don’t mind saying that he taught me a thing or two. Which,” Maddie hastened to add, “might not be a bad thing for the two of us. I know that sounds strange, but since you were complaining in London about the lack of spark in our lives, well, I think maybe there are a few things I now know that could kick-start that part of our lives again.”

  Becker squirmed in discomfort. “I…just don’t know how I feel about this. I guess I really didn’t expect it, and to be honest, it was the last thing I thought you’d say.”

  Maddie’s eyes darkened in anger.

  Picking up on that cue, Becker rushed to add, “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean that I didn’t think you wouldn’t be able to find another man. What I meant was that I didn’t think all this would happen so soon after we broke up.” Rising from his chair, Becker laid his napkin down on the table. “I’m sorry, Maddie,” he announced. “I need some time to let this sink in. I’ve got to go back to my hotel. I’ll give you a call in the morning after I’ve had a chance to sleep on this. It doesn’t change the fact that I want you—I do—but I feel like there’s a big hole that’s been torn out of me, and I need to have some time to myself.”

  Maddie could only watch soundlessly as Becker summoned the waiter, gave him a few notes, and then leaned down to give her a kiss on the cheek.

  I can’t believe this, she thought to herself. My life is a seesaw. This day started out so wonderfully, and now, here I am again in a restaurant feeling like the rug’s been pulled out from under me. Maybe I should just get takeout from now on. Looking down at her half-eaten soup, Maddie realized she, too, had lost her appetite and pushed the bowl away.

  The worried waiter came over, shaking his head. “Is there something wrong with the soup?”

  Maddie reassured him. “No, no, the soup was delicious. It’s just that we had a quarrel.”

  “Ah, a lover’s quarrel.” The waiter nodded knowingly, as if it was something he saw all the time. In fact, given the cozy nature of the restaurant, there doubtless were times when even a romantic dinner wouldn’t be enough to make something right.

  “Do I owe you anything?” Maddie asked.

  “No, no,” the waiter replied hastily. “The gentleman gave me enough so that if you would like to have a main course and dessert…”

  Maddie sighed. “Oh no, I don’t think so. I just don’t have it in me to enjoy a meal tonight, no matter how good the food might be. Please keep the money for your trouble in giving us a table. I can see how busy you are.”

  “May I at least call you a taxi?”

  “No, I think I’d prefer to walk.” Maddie got up and made her way through the restaurant and down the alley as though she were sleepwalking. What do I do now?

  ~~~

  July 21—2:00 a.m.

  Maddie lay flat on her back, staring up at the ceiling. She was thinking maybe this sleeping business was entirely overrated. She was thinking she’d really screwed up the reconciliation with Becker that had been steadily gaining momentum. She was wondering what Becker must be thinking right now.

  ~~~

  The Becker Chronicles—Rome

  July 21—2:05 a.m.

  For hours now, Becker had been sitting staring out his window onto the square below. Thoughts dodged through his mind faster than cars in Roman traffic. The one thought that kept coming back to him was that he was out of his mind with jealousy over Maddie’s liaison with that Frenchman. What did I expect her to do? a little voice in his head asked. Was she supposed to close up her heart and forever write off men because I didn’t want to be with her anymore?

  Then there was the other nagging voice reminding him that if circumstances had been different, he’d have happily wound up in bed with a woman in Paris or Amsterdam. It might not have been his main objective, but he knew that if that’s what had transpired at the end of the evening, he would have been game. So why is it so hard to acknowledge Maddie doing the same thing under similar circumstances? How much of his jealousy was wrapped up in her being with another man, versus the simple fact that she’d been more successful than he in their limited window of opportunity?

  His head ached. He cupped it in his hands and rubbed his temples, trying to exorcise his dead-end thoughts and reorganize them into something more constructive. What’s done i
s done, he admitted. The question now is, how do I move on? Once again, being in the middle of this trip was forcing him to galvanize his reactions far more quickly than would have occurred if he’d been back home. So he spent the waning hours of the night formulating a plan. By 6:00 a.m., bleary-eyed, he rose from the chair at last, took a brisk shower, and changed his clothes. He quickly packed up his things, had breakfast, and checked out.

  ~~~

  July 21

  Dimly, Maddie became conscious of the sound of a vacuum cleaner somewhere out in the hallway and slowly began working her way toward full consciousness. Looking at the clock, she saw that it was already 10:00 a.m. She must have finally fallen asleep somewhere before dawn and been sleeping like a rock ever since. By now, she’d missed breakfast downstairs, and there still hadn’t been a phone call from Becker, so she wasn’t sure whether she should go outside and grab a bite to eat or continue to hang around the hotel in hopes of hearing from him.

  Rousing herself out of bed, she drew back her curtains to the blinding light of a clear blue day beckoning her outside to keep exploring this magnificent city. Feeling the pull of the city’s magnetism, she felt she could slip out for a short coffee and a quick sandwich. Surely Becker would leave a message if he called while she was gone. As she shuffled to the bathroom, a slip of white paper near the door caught her eye. Bending down, she felt her heart race as she realized it was a message that had been slid under the door who knows how long ago.

  Her hands shaking, she unfolded the paper and read the note.

  Maddie,

  I’m on my way to the airport. I’ve got a flight to Athens at 9:00 a.m.

  “Oh my gosh.” Maddie nearly dropped the note. That’s it—he’s breaking it off again. Reading on, her heart gave another lurch in the other direction:

  I don’t have time to explain right now—the taxi’s waiting. Meet me in two days at the Parthenon at 9:00 a.m.

  Love,

  Becker

  What! It was almost impossible to decipher Becker’s intentions from just two sentences, yet her eyes couldn’t help but be drawn to the word love at the bottom. Does he really expect me to chase off to Athens? Why couldn’t he just take me with him? What’s the big hurry?

  This business of leapfrogging each other from one country to another was getting to be almost mundane, and setting up meetings where they didn’t know if the other had gotten the message or would even show up was just plain scary. To think that back in New York they’d constantly kept each other apprised of their whereabouts by cell phone, all while staying within a five-mile radius of home, now seemed laughable. Hmmm, Maddie thought, does this officially make us jet-setters now?

  Chapter 8

  Athens

  Baklava—a Very Sweet, Nutty Pastry

  July 23

  The temperature must already be above ninety degrees, Maddie estimated, as she found herself huffing and puffing up to the Parthenon summit. She’d known it was only a matter of time before she’d encounter a heat wave somewhere on the trip. Figures it would happen on the morning I’m climbing the tourist equivalent of Mount Everest. Matters weren’t helped much by all the good meals she’d been eating along the way.

  She wasn’t doing too badly, though. Maddie had decided to forgo taking a taxi to the top, simply to give herself a chance to enjoy the views on the way up. The hot weather notwithstanding, she was enjoying the scenery, even at the lower elevations, as she walked through the town at the foot of the mighty hill. The traffic seemed to get crazier the farther south in Europe she traveled. Consequently, the pollution around here wasn’t a pretty sight. Yet, Athens definitely had a good vibe about it.

  Maddie’s mind kept slipping back to the problem at hand: What exactly is Becker up to? Why the big mystery? Not sure whether to be worried, she had spent her last day and a half in Rome wandering around the sites but only halfway taking them all in. It was a relief to finally catch her flight to Athens late yesterday afternoon, and after she’d made her way via taxi through the numbing traffic to her hotel, turn in for an early night.

  Gazing ahead, she felt a wave of relief wash over her as she could start to make out more and more of the landmark ruins crowning the mountaintop. With any luck, the waiting would soon be over, and she’d finally discover what Becker had in mind.

  Carefully picking her way along the path at the summit, she oriented herself in the direction of the Parthenon, scanning the vicinity as she edged closer to the main ruin. When she got about thirty feet away from the Parthenon, Madison stopped. Shielding her eyes from the sun, she began a 360-degree search through the already thick crowds that had tried to beat the heat by visiting the mountain early in the day. Intent on looking for Becker, she was startled nearly out of her skin when she felt a tap on her shoulder. She spun around ready for anything, only to see Becker grinning down at her.

  “Are you out of your mind?” Maddie gasped. “You nearly gave me a heart attack sneaking up on me like that.”

  Seemingly undeterred by her remonstration, Becker grabbed her by the elbow and started escorting her back the way she’d come.

  “Where are we going?” Maddie asked, craning her neck to see if there might be some surprise hidden among the ruins.

  “Right back the way you came,” Becker replied, a smug smile on his face.

  Maddie ground to a halt. “Whoa,” she cried. “You aren’t telling me I walked all the way up here for nothing, are you? I mean, this is Greece: the Acropolis, the Parthenon. Surely you don’t expect me to just turn my back and waltz on down that hill again without so much as a glimpse at all this.” She swept her arm across the breathtaking surroundings.

  “Yep, I do,” was Becker’s short reply. “C’mon.” He tried to start her moving again.

  Maddie wouldn’t budge. “No. You can’t expect me to just follow you without so much as an explanation as to what’s going on. I can’t believe I even showed up here in the first place after you took off in Rome, leaving me only that pitiful excuse of a note. You’re going to have to give me some idea of what’s going on, or I’m not moving.” She folded her arms in front of her, tilted her hip defiantly outwards, and impatiently tapped her foot, waiting for Becker’s reply.

  Expelling his breath, Becker finally seemed to lose his momentum. He turned to face Maddie full-on. He put his hands on her shoulders and drew her close to his face.

  Maddie dropped her defensive stance, put her arms back down to her sides, and stilled her tapping foot.

  “Okay, I know this is all a little crazy…”

  Maddie’s brows lifted to question his understatement.

  “Make that a lot crazy,” he conceded. “If you’ll just trust me for about another hour or so, I promise, it’ll all make a lot more sense. I’ll explain everything as soon as we’re settled.”

  The part about getting settled was intriguing. Still, Maddie had to ask, “Why ask me to meet you all the way up here, only to go all the way back down again?”

  “To be perfectly honest with you, when I took off from Rome that morning, I was in a big hurry to get to my flight. I barely had time to write even that little note, and the only place that popped into my head for us to meet was here. If I’d had more time, I would have looked up a hotel name or a restaurant or square somewhere, but the only thing that came to me at that moment was the Parthenon.”

  Relenting, Maddie turned back onto the path and started to walk downward again. Nevertheless, she felt compelled to add, “Do you know how long it took me to walk up here?”

  Becker looked perplexed. “Why did you walk? I just took a taxi.”

  That took the wind out of Maddie’s sails. She really didn’t have any defense. It was her own stupid fault she’d exhausted herself climbing up to the summit. It was true that if she’d taken a taxi, she would be much less resistant to leaving again right away.

  “Fair enough,” Maddie admitted. “You got me there. I was tempted by the views and didn’t know it was going to get so hot so fast.
”

  “We’ll fix that soon enough.”

  Maddie glanced over at him, hoping to get some clue as to their destination from his facial expression. But he continued to be frustratingly obtuse, keeping quiet while he walked her over to the road that ended near the top and ushering her into a waiting taxi.

  The driver accepted his business card, nodded, and took off at a fast clip, sending Maddie’s heart into her throat as the taxi dangerously tailgated the cars in front of them. She should have been thankful that was all he was doing, as she realized when the driver pulled out around the slower-moving car in front of them and proceeded to pass it going around a curve. Throughout the trip he repeated the risky maneuver time and again, in similar death-defying circumstances.

  Maddie called out in alarm, but the man spoke little English. He seemed to sense what she meant, but he only waved his hand in dismissal while giving her reassuring nods in the mirror. His actions only compounded the problem by distracting him from his driving.

  Only five minutes into the ride, Becker seemed to remember something and quickly asked Maddie for her hotel name. Leaning forward, he managed to relate to the driver that they needed to drop by her hotel to pick up her luggage. It turned out to be only a short detour. Having retrieved her bags and checked out, they hit the road once more, with the driver again engaging in all manner of hazardous stunts.

  Maddie tried to enlist Becker’s help, but he told her to just look out the window and ignore the situation. He told her he’d already been on several similar rides and had simply learned to disregard the danger.

  Easier said than done, Maddie thought.

  By the time the madman at last screeched to a halt and pointed to the meter for payment, her knuckles were completely white from digging into her knees. She couldn’t scramble out the door fast enough. Jumping onto the curb, she was puzzled to find that they were in some sort of massive waterfront district. Madison had been so engulfed in watching the road, and praying that each reckless action wouldn’t result in death or injury, that she hadn’t paid the least bit of attention to where they were actually going.