What Could Be (Everyday Love Book 1)

by Jaycee Weaver

  “Of course. I wouldn’t miss it. Somebody’s just got a whole lot of energy this morning and I can’t seem to keep up,” he nodded in Brendan’s direction.

  Brynn raised the travel mug in her other hand and laughed, “that’s why I always come prepared.”

  “Ah, see, you’re a smart one,” he laughed back. He scanned the field in hopes that the PTA would be passing out coffee or cocoa. He spotted a small table off to the edge and nodded in its direction. “Looks like I’ll be making a quick detour before they start filling the balloon. Brendan, you want to come see if they have cocoa?”

  “Yeah! Let’s go!”

  Brendan didn’t give Brynn much choice in the matter. He held her hand tightly and began dragging her toward the table manned by moms in yoga pants and messy buns, wrapped in thick jackets and scarves. Josh swallowed a grin at the stereotype the picture made. They looked like a New Year’s resolution advertisement for fitness wear.

  He approached the table and caught a glimpse of one of the members of the mom posse blatantly eyeing him. The woman was pretty, but definitely not his type. A quick glance down revealed the telltale bulge of a wedding ring through her glove. Really, lady? He tried to look focused on doctoring his coffee while surreptitiously watching Brynn ready a cup of cocoa for Brendan.

  “You didn’t have to do that. I would have made him a cup,” Josh protested somewhat apologetically.

  “It’s no problem. I figured I’d better help so he didn’t overflow it, and then you could get yourself something to wake you up,” she smiled, dismissing further argument. “Besides. This way we can get over to the balloon faster and find a good spot.” Was that a wink? Nah.

  “Thanks,” he replied, blowing across the hole in the lid of his cup before taking a sip. Delicious. Dark and strong the way he liked it.

  The sun was rising higher over the mountains, casting a soft pink and orange glow across the bright blues of the morning sky. He loved the colors of the sunrise almost as much as the incredible hues of sunset. There was something about those mountains that called to his spirit, I’m home! He felt rooted to his hometown every time he cast his eyes eastward and soaked in the sights of the ever-changing colors and shadows of the Sandias.

  “Such a beautiful morning,” her soft voice interrupted his musing.

  He looked into her eyes, the exact color of the sky above them at this moment. “It is. I love this time of year.”

  “Me, too. The weather is starting to change, the balloons everywhere, the smells of fall and colors of the trees along the Bosque…it’s no wonder it’s called the Land of Enchantment,” she agreed wistfully.

  He nodded and turned to look across the field at the balloonist and his crew setting up for the event. Taking a sip of his steaming coffee, he turned and extended a hand to Brendan’s empty one.

  “Want to get closer?”

  “Yes!” his precious little boy practically bounced with excitement as they headed in that direction. Each hand in an adult’s, he suddenly dropped his weight and try to make them swing him. Both Josh and Brynn jolted a little from the unexpected shift and laughed.

  “Whoa, buddy, you’ve got to warn us before you do that!” Brynn chuckled her half-serious warning as she licked the trail of coffee that had spilled down the side of her mug. His mouth went too dry to swallow.

  “Okay, I’m warning ya!” Brendan made sure he had a good grip before swinging again. This time both adults were ready and swung their hands in unison to lift him up off the ground. It felt strangely comfortable to Josh, this small, ordinary moment. His chest tightened at the onslaught of feelings the simple act of playfulness sparked in him. Does she feel this, too? Is it just me here?

  He wondered if there could be something more to this than just a parent/student/teacher thing. She was so loving and fun to be around, and it felt so good to feel like a…a family? Yes, that was pretty much what it felt like right that moment. But was it just her obvious adoration of his son that he was so drawn to, or was there more? He’d have to give it some thought. This was definitely not a normal feeling for him, that much was certain.

  Chapter 7

  Brynn

  Brynn’s heart was still pounding in her ears later that morning as she drove to class. She hadn’t enjoyed herself so much in ages. With all the stress of school and work, it had been awhile since she’d just let herself live in a moment and enjoy the beauty of the sunrise (no matter how ungodly the hour), the perfectly crisp weather, the glorious mountains, and the experience of being like a child. Sure, she was surrounded by boisterous little children every day, and their love for life was often contagious. But this morning was different. Being with Brendan and his dad was like being part of the excitement. It was more than just the usual swirl of chaos and kids running amok. It was like standing in the eye of a storm around her. Calm, peacefully watching the swirling around her and feeling the wind on her face as she was transported like Dorothy to Oz, back to being a child herself and seeing the wonder of the world around her in full technicolor for the first time. Sipping her coffee with them and watching the sun come up while the balloon filled and then launched into the cold morning sky was so beautifully normal it was scary, in a way.

  No, not in a way. It was scary. Terrifying, even, in some ways. She hadn’t felt this alive since she’d first met Aiden. At eighteen, Aiden Montoya had been this handsome tornado of a guy, blowing into her life and throwing everything around like an EF-5 until she was swept away in joyous abandon. From the moment they’d met, her life had been turned upside down in the very best of ways. He’d made her feel every wonderful thing that the human experience could offer, and the feelings had been so overwhelming it had been beyond difficult to keep things within her own moral boundaries. She’d grown up with a deeply rooted faith and background that was always at the forefront of her mind. Aiden was exactly the kind of man she’d dreamed of marrying one day, and all of the lists her driven young self had written were checked and rechecked against the kind of guy he seemed to be.

  They’d spent the entire summer between high school and college together, instantly head over heels for each other. He had challenged her, encouraged her to try new and daring things like facing her fear of heights by riding the Sandia Tramway and then peering over the ledge at the top of the crest. She had felt so alive and ready to step out and try the next adventure with him by her side. He pushed her to pursue her dream of becoming a teacher, even when she doubted herself. Before Aiden, no one but her parents had been able to read her so well and support her hyper-focused pursuit of her goals and dreams.

  Separating that fall when he went off to school in Arizona had nearly crushed her. It was only a six-hour drive, though, so he came home as often as he could. They spoke on the phone every night for hours. She went to class exhausted most days from staying up too late talking, but at the time it felt worth it. Every school break they had become emotionally and physically closer and the temptation to push limits further had grown harder and harder to fight. By the end of the school year, they were struggling to put their faith and moral commitment to the forefront and she was sorely tempted to give in, rationalizing that they had been talking marriage and things had seemed to be heading in that direction.

  They’d both known it was wrong and he had known exactly how committed she was to being a virgin on her wedding night. He had always helped her stay strong, stopping them in time and taking her home before things went too far. Little did she know at the time that he was growing weaker in his ability to say “not now.”

  Shortly after he’d come home for summer break, he’d broken down and admitted that during the long stretch without visits between spring break and finals, he and his best friend, who happened to be a girl he supposedly had no interest in, had been drinking a little and had started talking late one night at a party and then ended up making out. Brynn was heartbroken and had struggled to forgive him, but she’d eventually worked through it.

  She’d thought they
were moving forward again to a good place. Weeks later, he’d finally unburdened himself of his guilt and admitted that he’d actually slept with the friend. Brynn couldn’t begin to deal with that kind of betrayal.

  And so, her world that Aiden had turned upside down for the better was then turned inside out with pain. How could she have been so certain he was The One and then been so wrong? How could he do that, especially knowing her heart on the matter? How could he have admitted only half the truth and acted so lovingly normal all summer, only to blow her fantasy—and her heart—into smithereens? How did I miss the signs? There HAD to have been signs?! The whole situation had made Brynn question everything.

  She’d spent the entire following year of school trying to get over it, but began examining every aspect of her life, who she was, what she wanted and needed. Scared because her grades were slipping, riddled with self-doubt, and no longer certain of what she wanted to do with her life anymore, she decided to take the next year off of school. During that hiatus, she had started working for the SAEC, getting the after-school care program up and running at Cordova, and trying to put her life back into place. It eventually brought her closer to the Lord, but it was a journey of pain she couldn’t ever bring herself to face again.

  The risks Aiden had influenced her to take, those leaps of faith to grab hold of life and really live it, were now cliffs of certain doom she couldn’t look over even with a hefty mental and emotional guardrail in place. After a year away, she returned to her studies the following autumn, changed her major, made all new friends, gave up on dating, and made a whole new list of qualities she’d need when eventually God brought along The One. The list that had once been built on romantic girlish dreams and fantasies was now built on a secure resolve to ensure her perfect match and protect her heart at all costs.

  Brynn pulled into her designated parking lot at the university and walked toward the bus that would take her to the heart of the beautiful campus. Minutes later, as she disembarked and headed past the duck pond, she tried to conquer the painful thoughts of the past and bring her heart back into the present.

  Lord, the pain is still there. It’s been almost three years and it still hurts. I know Aiden wasn’t The One, but he’d fit that dream list so perfectly. Everything on that list was so perfectly complete in him, to the smallest detail. How could he NOT have been The One? How could things have changed so much and he have broken my heart so completely? Please heal this hurt and make me whole again. I’m tired of playing things safe and hiding behind a list. I don’t want quiet and comfortable any more than I want chaos and heartache. There has to be a balance. Could Caleb be the one to fit those needs? Or do you have someone else in mind for me, someone who will love and understand me? Someone I can trust not to break me again, but who will make me come alive again. I know I need that. Please wake me up to where you’re taking me so I recognize it’s you. I want to be in Your will.

  She brushed away the moisture that had escaped and was marking a trail down one cheek. Squaring her shoulders and resolving for the millionth time to move forward, Brynn took a deep breath and walked faster to her first class. I can do this. I’m going to have a great day even if it kills me!

  Josh

  Work was exhausting. Nothing seemed to be working this week. Clients were loving his ideas, but his contacts recently seemed to be cancelling and flaking out on everything he needed them to be doing. He puffed his cheeks and blew out a hard breath of frustration as he picked up the phone to try someone else.

  On hold, he glanced out the window at the setting sun, his west facing office giving him a perfect view of the glowing horizon. The oranges, pinks, and purples that marbled across the sky and contrasted against the blues up high never ceased to amaze him. Every evening was so different, it made him feel like God was hand painting a love letter in art form across the sky. When he saw the sky like this, it made him wonder how he’d ever doubted the existence of such a loving creator. How could he ever have denied that there was a God in heaven orchestrating the universe and yet so personally loving each and every one of his children?

  The call finally picked up and he was able to talk one of his printer contacts into donating some oversized posters for a Thanksgiving gala he was working on for a local nonprofit. A graphic designer he frequently worked with had outdone herself and he knew the strategically placed advertising would help sell more tickets for the benefit. It was only a month away and they still had more tickets available than he was comfortable with, so he’d have to step it up big time. He had a billboard going up in the next few days as well, and even though the newspaper that had promised him a prime spot had fallen through, Josh knew things would turn around. They had to.

  His assistant, Della, came in and placed a legal-size envelope on his desk. A quick peek at the return address let him know it was probably his small stack of tickets to the gala.

  “Thanks, Della,” he nodded toward her, picking up the envelope.

  “Sure thing, Josh. Your graphic designer outdid herself. I saw the proofs for the advertising and they look exquisite. Anything else I can get you before I head out?”

  “No, thank you, I’m on my way down myself. Have a good night.”

  She gave him a motherly smile, her eyes crinkling with deep lines that revealed the joy with which she lived. With a nod of her perfectly coifed gray hair, she closed the door as she left. Josh began shutting down his computer and gathering his things to go home.

  The drive to Cordova Elementary wasn’t too bad that evening, but he had gotten enough of a late start that it was nearly closing time when he got to the school. He jogged across the parking lot toward the building that housed the SAEC, only to find Brendan was the last one to be picked up. He felt terrible that he’d almost been late, but when his little boy made eye contact, the guilt melted away.

  Brendan threw his arms around his dad’s legs and pointed his chin straight up to look in his eyes. With a relieved smile he cried out, “Dad! I’m so glad to see you! Miss Brynn was reading to me until you got here. All the other kids got picked up already and I was worried about you!”

  The guilt came back full force and sank his heart into the pit of his gut. “I’m sorry, buddy. I lost track of time taking care of some things at work, but I’m glad you’re happy to see me! I sure missed you today. Did you have a good day at school?”

  His son’s sparkling hazel eyes shone up at him as he pulled a book from his backpack. “I got this at the li-berry today and I want to read it to you at bedtime. Miss Brynn already read it to me, so I know what it says, and she says I’m getting smart enough to read most of the words!”

  Josh looked over to Brynn for the first time that evening and the corners of his mouth lifted in a quick smile of gratitude. “Sorry I’m late.”

  “Oh, no, you’re just fine. It’s barely 6:30 now. I think the days getting shorter before Daylight Savings ends is starting to throw people off a little. Most of the kids were picked up earlier than usual tonight. I’m not going to complain, though! Getting out of here on time means I can get home and study for my big test tomorrow and maybe get to bed at a decent hour.”

  Her smile always seemed to reach her eyes, like she only said exactly what she meant. How does she do that? he wondered.

  “And here I am keeping you. I guess we better get, B-Man,” he jutted his chin in the direction of Brendan’s backpack. “Let’s get your stuff and get out of here.”

  Brynn grabbed her things and was turning out the lamp in the reading center when Josh had a sudden burst of boldness.

  “Can we walk you to your car?”

  She hesitated only a brief moment. “Sure, that would be nice. I just need to make sure everything is locked up and ready to go.”

  She shrugged on her coat, hoisted on a backpack that must have weighed half a ton and then made the rounds of both classrooms. Once outside, she jiggled the handles to ensure both doors were locked. Brendan followed her every move with his little eyes and Josh
held back a smile. Can’t blame the kid. I can barely keep my eyes off her myself.

  The three walked across the rapidly darkening parking lot. A breeze had kicked up and leaves swirled against the gutters of the school’s parent drop off lane. Brynn’s car was the closest, so Josh and Brendan paused beside her while she opened the door and tossed her things inside. She turned to tell them thank you, when Brendan rushed against her legs and squeezed for all he was worth.

  “Goodnight, Miss Brynn. I love you.”

  Josh watched the flicker of several expressions cross her face as she melted into a puddle of goo looking into those five-year-old glistening eyes. He knew the feeling.

  “Goodnight, little man. I love you, too.” Josh could see she meant it.

  He had to admit that maybe a part of him was a little envious of both of them in that moment. She was really something, and the more he was in her presence the more he felt like he could maybe fall for this girl, too.

  Josh watched her face as she quickly schooled her emotions back into a friendly expression and tossed a genuine but unaffected smile at Josh. Ouch. Kind of a letdown after the sweetness she’d lavished on Brendan.

  “Goodnight to you, too. Thanks for walking me to my car.”

  “Anytime, Brynn.”

  Josh took Brendan’s hand and they walked a few spaces away to his truck, got in, and started it up. He checked the rearview mirror to make sure Brynn’s car had started before leaving the parking lot, only to see her right behind him. He could see her smile reflecting back in the mirror, illuminated by the reflection of her head lights against the back of his truck’s silver paint. Knowing she was safe, he left the parking lot with her following a few car lengths behind. She trailed him again for those few blocks until he and Brendan turned toward home and she kept going straight. He wondered where she called home.

  Chapter 8