Love Notes

by Michelle Windsor

  “Well, look at you.” His hand lifts off mine momentarily and sweeps up and down in front of me. “You’re beautiful, and smart, and not like any other girl I’ve ever met before.”

  I stare at him, dumbfounded. He thinks I’m beautiful? I’ve always thought of myself as a nerdy little bookworm, traveling a thousand different miles through the books I’ve read and characters I’ve discovered in them. Pretty, possibly, but no, definitely not beautiful. “I think you’re the beautiful one, and your talent is just… I don’t even have the words to describe how good you are, and I want to be a writer.”

  “You want to be a writer?” Curiosity laces his voice.

  I know I’m blushing again. I can feel my cheeks heating. I’ve wanted to be a writer since I read “The Little House on the Prairie” by Laura Ingalls Wilder. I shrug my shoulders and nod. “That’s why I’m not sure where I’ll be working at the end of the summer. If I can, I’d rather work part-time and write as much as possible.”

  “Have you written anything yet? I’d love to read something if you have.” He seems genuinely interested, and it’s nice—really nice. There aren’t many guys in a small town like this who have an interest in anything besides hunting and driving their trucks in the mud.

  “Nothing I’m ready to show anyone,” I say quietly.

  “Well, maybe sometime then. When you’re ready.”

  I nod my head and give him a small smile. “Maybe.”

  “Sydney!” Mr. Arnold is standing on the other side of the counter, crotchety as always. I rise and walk quickly out of the office to see what he needs.

  “How can I help you, Mr. Arnold?” I give him my most patient smile.

  He glances behind me and then lowers his voice. “You going to be okay if I leave you alone with him? I’m about done for the day.”

  I smile and realize maybe there are still a few gentlemen left in this world after all. “Thank you, Mr. Arnold. I think I’m safe.”

  He nods and responds gruffly before stalking toward the exit. “Well, all right then. I’ll see you tomorrow.”

  “Bye, Mr. Arnold. Have a good afternoon.” I watch him walk away, smiling, and then grow still as I feel the heat of Justin’s body behind mine.

  Suddenly, I feel his warm breath against my ear as he whispers, “Are you sure you’ll be safe?”

  I spin around and find myself only inches from his face. My eyes rake over his features, and I notice he has a small scar above his right eyebrow. I lift my hand and trace it with a single finger, his eyes closing as I do. “How’d you get this scar?”

  His eyes open slowly and lock onto mine, a simmering look in them. “I fell out of the loft a few summers ago and banged my head on the ladder on the way down. My dad didn’t think I needed stitches so it healed like that. It was like a tiny flap of skin ripped back. He just slapped a band-aid on it and told me I’d be fine.”

  “It looks like a music note.” I move my finger away and take a couple steps back from him. “I should probably get back to work.”

  He looks around the empty library and scoffs. “It’s pretty busy in here.”

  “I have books that need checking in and cataloging to do.” I defend the quiet library and my station in it.

  “So, what do I need to do if I want to take something out?” A small grin lifts the corners of his mouth as he looks at me.

  “You want to take out a book? You need a library card.”

  “I was thinking more along the lines of the librarian?” His grin goes a little lopsided as he spits his question out.

  “Oh.” I finally comprehend what he’s asking, and a hot flush runs down my entire body in response. “Oh!”

  “Do I need to fill anything out for that? Or, maybe, I could just leave you my number?”

  “You want to take me out?” I admit I want nothing more than to spend time with him. He’s gorgeous and funny and seems to see something in me that others don’t. But I’m still surprised because he’s gorgeous and funny and seems to see something in me that others don’t.

  “Yeah, I’d really like that.” He’s scuffing his shoe back and forth across the edge of one of the rugs, and it dawns on me that he’s waiting for me to answer.

  “Yes!” I blurt, putting him out of his misery. “I’d love to do something.”

  His entire face lights up. “Really? Awesome.” He’s nodding his head up and down like he’s not sure what to ask next, but then he continues. “Okay, so you work here every day?”

  “Monday through Thursday. Mrs. James works the weekend hours since I’m generally at the bar.”

  “Do you want to do something on Friday then? You can come out to the farm, and I’ll show you around. I can show you what I do. Or, if that’s not good, we can do something fancier like dinner and a movie?”

  I smile brightly, loving the idea of going to the farm. “The farm sounds great. I’d love to see what you do.”

  “Great. It’s a date. Should I come pick you up?”

  “Oh, no, I can drive out. What time should I come?”

  “How about one? I’ll be done with most of the big stuff for the day by then.”

  “One’s good.” I smile shyly, not sure what to say next, but then he walks over to the counter. He grabs a library card and a pen and starts writing, then hands it to me.

  “That’s my number. Just call me if anything changes.”

  I take the card in my hand and laugh when I look down to read it. Under the ‘due date’ column, he’s written Friday, and beside it his name, and then finally, underneath that, his telephone number. When I look back up, he’s halfway to the door. “See you Friday.”

  He turns back and gives me the sexiest grin I’ve ever seen. “Can’t wait.” I thank God that no one is in the library because as soon as the door closes, I break into the silliest happy dance ever and then race to my phone to call Kelly.

  * * *

  CHAPTER FIVE

  “ Y ou are so not wearing those Goddamn sneakers.”

  I look down at my feet and then back at Kelly. “Why are you always making fun of my sneakers? I love my Converse!”

  “No. Just no.” She walks over to my closet, digs around on the floor, and then turns around holding up my brown cowboy boots. “These are what you need to wear.”

  “I’m going to visit him on his farm, not the damn rodeo.” I frown and shake my head no.

  “It really doesn’t matter where you’re going. It’s about how you look, and right now, you look like you’re going shopping at Walmart.”

  “Ugh!” I stomp my foot. “You’re driving me crazy!”

  She reaches back in my closet, pulls out a tan, loose-knit sweater, and walks over to me. “Besides, it’s supposed to rain later so boots will be better.” She holds the sweater out to me. “Here, put this on instead, but put your white tank top on underneath first. The one with the wide straps.”

  “What’s wrong with what I have on?” I look down at the faded denim cut-offs and black t-shirt I’m currently wearing.

  “It’s boring, that’s what.” She shakes the sweater at me impatiently. “Just do it. You know I’m right.”

  I let out a huff of defeat and grab the sweater out of her hand. “Fine. Anything to shut you up at this point.” I pull the t-shirt over my head and toss it to the floor as I walk to my dresser to find the tank top Kelly insists I must wear. Locating it, I pull it on and then the sweater.

  “And you are not wearing your hair up in that ponytail either. It’s coming down.”

  I glare at her as I adjust the sweater to fall off one shoulder, exposing the strap of the tank. “You get that I’m not going to a fashion show, right? I’m going to a farm. There are cows, and mud, and hay, and shit.”

  “That doesn’t mean you have to look like you work there. You need to stand out.”

  I put my hands on my waist and jut one hip out. “Stand out against who exactly? The cows? His mother? This is complete overkill.”

  She shakes her head as
she tosses me a pair of socks to put on under my boots. “You’ll thank me for this later, trust me.”

  “Uh-huh, we’ll see.” I sit on the bed and pull on the socks, then slip my feet into the boots. They really are sweet boots. I got them a few years ago in Nashville when Kell and I visited, but I haven’t worn them much since. She lives in hers. I’m about to stand when I feel Kell pull the elastic from my head, freeing my hair, it’s length falling halfway down my back. “My God! You are such a bitch!”

  “Oh, get over it. Go look in the mirror and see how awesome you look.” She shoots the elastic at me in a slingshot fashion, and I have to duck so it doesn’t hit me in the face.

  I run my fingers through my hair to loosen it up a bit and am surprised when I see my reflection in the mirror. I actually do look pretty cute. The wide holes in the knit of the sweater make it look casual instead of dressy, and the cowboy boots are actually kind of sexy with the shorts. I look over and scowl before sticking my tongue out at her. “You win.”

  She grins smugly. “I always do.” She reaches across my bed and grabs her purse, pulling something out of it. “And, here, take this just in case.” A shit-eating grin spreads across her face.

  I look down and see the tell-tale square foil package between her fingers and feel my face heat up. “Jesus, Kelly! I’m not going to have sex with him! I barely know him.”

  “Well, it’s always good to be prepared. He’s mighty fine looking.” She thrusts it toward me. “I sure wouldn’t say no if he asked.”

  I push her hand away and stomp in the opposite direction. “Um, aren’t you forgetting about one little thing?”

  “What’s that?”

  “Your fiancé? You know, that big guy that wears a gun?”

  She laughs and whips the condom in my direction. “Who do you think told me to give you this?”

  My mouth drops open in shock. “Well, aren’t you two just special, looking out for me?”

  “Hey, I don’t want my maid-of-honor all knocked up at my wedding this fall. I need you looking hot for my pictures.”

  “Yeah, yeah.” I wave my hand at her, dismissing the ‘sex’ topic. “Okay, I guess I better head out. It’s quarter ‘til one, and I’m supposed to be there at one.”

  “Go!” Kelly hands me my purse and pushes me out of my bedroom, into the main living area of my small apartment. “I’ll lock up.”

  “Okay, thanks.” I grab my keys off the kitchen counter and turn to give her a quick kiss on the cheek before I leave. “Make sure Simba’s in here somewhere.”

  “He’s in the bathroom. I saw him curled up on your pile of dirty clothes in there.” She grimaces. “Maybe time to do some laundry?”

  “Okay, leaving now.” I throw my hand up in a wave as I walk through the door. “Thanks, Kell. Bye!” Before she can make me any later, I pull the door shut behind me. I run down the steps, get into my car, and start it up. Justin lives in the next town over, which is only about seven miles away, but it’s a simple two-lane road that gets me there, so I hope I don’t get behind some slow-poke since I’m already running late.

  I get through both of the street lights in town with green lights and smile, relaxing a bit as I cruise out of town. It only takes about ten minutes before I’m crossing over my town line into his, and that’s when my nervousness starts. Holy crap! I’m really doing this. I’m going to visit him at his farm. It’s not like I haven’t dated guys before, and I’m certainly not a virgin, but there’s something so unique and different about him. Besides, let’s face it, he’s definitely the best-looking guy I’ve laid eyes on, even after attending an Ivy League college where rich, good-looking guys are a dime a dozen.

  I think, with Justin, it’s so much more than how he looks; it’s how he looks at me like he can see all the way inside of me and tell what I’m thinking. The fact that he seems fairly intelligent and can sing isn’t hurting things one little bit either. I let out a long, nervous sigh as I turn down the driveway to his farm and grip the steering wheel a little harder, my hands slipping slightly from the sweat coating my palms. As I turn the last corner, I see him leaning against his pickup truck, a tight white t-shirt outlining every groove on his chest, tucked into faded jeans, and yes, he’s wearing cowboy boots. He waves and gives me the most beautiful smile. My stomach instantly feels like a thousand birds just took flight. Oh. My. God. The man looks good enough to eat. Why didn’t I take that damn condom?

  * * *

  I HEAR a car coming down the drive before it’s within sight, but knowing it’s going to be her, I lean back against the truck, trying to look casual. I’ve actually been pacing around out here for about fifteen minutes, antsy as hell, waiting for her to show up. When she opens the door and steps out of her car, I inhale a deep breath and realize it was worth every bit of the wait.

  Her hair is down. It’s the first time I’ve seen her when it’s not up in a ponytail or a bun. While I loved that librarian look she was sporting the other day, this is even better. Her hair is long, longer than I would have thought, and falls in soft waves of gold over her shoulders. And that sweater, showing off one shoulder like she’s giving me a tiny peek at what lies underneath, but not too much, so she can keep me guessing.

  I run my gaze over her, and holy shit! I definitely appreciated her legs the other night when I saw them in shorts, but seeing them now, in a pair of cowboy boots, I think I’ve died and gone to Heaven. Every time I see this girl, she shows me another side of her. I remember thinking the other day that she was like an onion with layers to peel, but now, I think she’s like a rose. A rose whose petals are slowly starting to open and bloom.

  I push off the truck and walk toward her, my big steps quickly closing the distance between us. She’s biting her lower lip again, and her hands are clenched into tight little fists, so I know she’s nervous. I reach her and we both stop short and smile.

  “You look beautiful.” I reach out and run my fingers through the ends of her long strands. “I like your hair down.”

  Her hand reaches up and plays with the strands I was just holding, “Thanks. Kelly made me wear it down.”

  “Well then, tell her I said thanks. She did good.” I reach down and grab her hand in mine, her eyes going wide as I do. She doesn’t pull away, so I grip a little firmer and turn toward the barn. “Want to go check out the barn?”

  “Sure.” She walks beside me, quiet, her damp hand feeling tiny in mine, her pulse hammering against my thumb. I wonder if she can feel mine beating just as hard. I think I jump a little when she speaks. “So, you don’t work in the afternoons?”

  “Sometimes I do. Depends on the season. This time of year, we’re prepping all the fields for planting. We grow most of the corn that we’ll feed the cattle over the winter. During the summer, we mostly graze them out in the pasture.”

  “Do you have to milk them? I mean, do they come in every night?”

  “We only have a few heifers. Most of our cattle are cows, but we have a few bulls. So, yeah, we have to bring them in each night to milk those not pregnant. We’re a dairy farm, so we produce the milk and it’s sent out for cheese, yogurt, butter. Stuff like that.”

  She stops and so I do, not wanting our hands to become disconnected, then she looks up at me confused. “Sorry, I should probably know this, but what’s the difference between a heifer and a cow and a bull? Aren’t they all just cows?”

  I can’t help the small chuckle that escapes at what seems like such a simple thing to any of us on the farm. “Don’t laugh at me!” She swats at me playfully, and her cheeks flush a light pink color.

  “I’m not. I swear. I think it’s cute that you’re so damn smart but you don’t know something that seems so basic to me.”

  “Well, I’m not really a farming kind of girl.” She shrugs and gives me a lopsided smile.

  “Yeah, I kinda noticed that, not that I’m complaining.” I pull her hand to start walking again and try to explain the cattle. “A heifer is just a young female cow. The
y haven’t had a baby yet, and until they do, they don’t produce milk. They take a couple years to mature enough to have a baby, or a calf, so in general, we sell most of them off. A grown female is called a cow. She can produce milk once she’s had a baby, but we need to keep her producing milk, so she needs to keep having calves. This is where the bulls come in, the grown males.” I look over at her and raise an eyebrow. “I think you can probably figure that part out on your own.”

  She nods rapidly and raises her free hand. “I got it. Thanks.”

  We’re in the barn now and move inside where it’s darker and cooler. It’s quiet because all the cattle, with the exception of a few cows waiting to give birth, are out in the fields. My dad and brother are out planting, and my mom’s probably in the main house somewhere or prepping her vegetable garden. “Have you ever been to a dairy farm before?”

  She shakes her head and looks around. “Nope, I don’t think I have. It’s big in here. How come there are only a couple cows in here?” She points to the far corner of the barn where they are.

  “Those girls are pretty pregnant right now and could go at any time, so we keep them in here where we can keep an eye on them. It’s a lot harder to deal with them if they start birthing in the fields.”

  “Oh.” She pulls my hand and moves in their direction. “Can we go see them?”

  “Sure.” I let her guide me over to them and then quickly position myself between her and the cow. “You want to make sure you stay up by her head, not anywhere behind her hooves. She’s a little nervous right now, and I don’t want her kicking you.”

  “Oh, okay, I didn’t realize.” She seems embarrassed and moves a few steps away and in front of the cow.

  I turn and grab her hand to pull her closer to the cow and then place her hand on the cow’s neck. “You can pat her. This is Maisy. She’s a good girl, just gets a bit cranky when she’s about to pop.”

  She takes a timid step forward, runs her hand gently down the neck of the cow, and begins crooning to her. “Hey, Maisy. Aren’t you a pretty little momma cow.” Maisy turns her head back and nudges Sydney’s hand with her wet nose, an affirmation, which brings Sydney’s head around to mine, a smile beaming from her face. “I think she likes me!”