Ash and I exchanged glances before looking back at her. “I think we’re still trying to process everything,” I admitted.
She nodded, understanding. “You’ve been through a lot.” Her eyes roamed my face. A bright flush filled me, which I knew made the scar on my face stand out that much more. It stretched from just above my right eyebrow, across my nose down to the bottom of my left cheek. It was hard to miss. “You are safe here.”
Neither of us answered.
“My name is Octavia. I am the director here at Sanctuary and, for the most part, people address me as Director.” A small smile curled on her full lips again. “This place has existed for quite a long time, as I’m sure you’ve heard if you’ve made it this far. How did you get here?”
There was a long silence before Ash finally spoke. “We were brought here by a man named Bert Washington.”
Octavia’s cool demeanor faltered for a moment but she moved forward, without commenting. “We work hard here. This place was designed to sustain human life in the event of a catastrophe. This is not an easy thing to do, not with most of the outside world a mess of radiation and martial law. Everyone contributes in Sanctuary. “
Her smiled stayed in place, genuine, but her eyes stared at both of us, hard, making sure we were paying attention. “You both will be given full medical exams, to make sure you are healthy. If you aren’t, we’ll do our best to get you back to good health. You definitely look like you’ve missed a few meals. We can fix that. You’ll be educated and you will work. It’s not an easy life in Sanctuary, but it is life. We are grateful every day to have it, and we are happy to have you here.”
Words got caught in my throat. We were alive and so lucky to be. The scars the two of us bore showed that struggle. I would work as hard as I needed to if it meant that I was finally safe.
Octavia stood up, wiping her palms against the clean fabric of her simple black dress. “I will leave you now. Doctors will be coming in shortly to examine you.”
My heart immediately picked up its beat, slamming hard against my ribs. Going to the doctor had never bothered me before; they were just doing their job. I had never had this fear until Razi Cylon and her band of doctors. They had poked and prodded me for over a month, studying me like a bug under a microscope. I shrank back. My breaths coming out short, panicked. Octavia paused in the doorway, her brow furrowed.
Ash turned, his hands reaching out for me. He gripped my face between them, forcing me to look at him. “It’s fine. It’s okay. You’re going to be okay. I’m not going to leave you. It’ll be over before you know it.”
I tried to shake my head but it was stuck between his warm hands, and I felt a sense of calmness from his grip. “I don’t want to.”
Ash’s voice came out stronger than before. “I will not leave your side. You can do this. You are the strongest person I know, Zoey. They want to make sure we are safe, and I agree. I want to make sure that after everything that has happened, you are okay. That’s all that matters.”
We stared at each other for a few moments, probably long enough for Octavia to feel slightly uncomfortable. She cleared her throat loudly, and Ash dropped his hands from my face.
“You were…you were at Sekhmet,” she said, shock filling her voice.
There was a large lump in my throat, and I was afraid what would happen if I tried to speak so I nodded in response.
“But how?” She was looking at both of us, disbelieving. “No one gets out of there. No one does.”
“We escaped,” Ash explained. Octavia opened her mouth to protest but he immediately cut her off. “We had help. That’s really all there is to know.”
Octavia’s lips pressed tightly together and her shoulders tensed for a moment. “You are safe here,” she repeated. “I can promise you that.” She turned again to leave, pausing to quickly look back over her shoulder. “If you two ever need anything, do not hesitate to ask. We have rules and we cannot provide everything. But we will try our best.” With those words, she left the room, leaving the two of us alone.
Moments later, a doctor entered. He was young, much younger than I had expected and he smiled at the two of us, approaching carefully. I wondered if he had ever been attacked by anyone in this room before. My bets were on yes, definitely.
“I know you are both scared,” he said, immediately. Neither of us said anything and he continued. “But I promise that I’ll try to make it as easy as possible. For both of you.”
Ash looked over at me and I nodded, swallowing hard. “Okay,” I finally said. “Let’s do it.”
WHEN THE END of the world came, I doubted anyone would have ever thought that a little thing like snoring would still bother people.
News flash: it still does.
The numbers on the wall above the door reflected the only light in the small room, blinking the time at me, mocking me. It was 3:45 am and I was still not asleep. Another loud, grunting snore filled the room and I sighed, giving up. I kicked the covers off the bed and sat up, running a hand through my hair.
We had been at Sanctuary for nearly three months now and I still hadn’t gotten used to the constant snoring of my roommate, Kaya. I was hoping I would eventually adapt to it and get a decent night’s sleep but I wasn’t holding my breath.
The nightmares probably weren’t helping either.
I was safe though. I was in Sanctuary. That was all that mattered. The Awakened couldn’t reach me here, even when they were haunting my dreams every single night.
They were like zombies, but worse than any nightmare we had ever conjured up. The Awakened retained the memories of when they were human, and they were clever as hell. They worked together in packs to get the one thing they craved more than anything else: human flesh. And they were fast, incredibly so, able to outrun a normal human easily. They were frightening, former versions of themselves, their skin a pale blue hue, their teeth sharped into points that could tear through skin and flesh, and eyes that were endless pools of black. They had taken nearly everyone I loved away from me leaving me scarred and beaten. I would be happy if I never had to see one ever again.
I sighed again, looking back up at the clock. Time in Sanctuary seemed to pass so slowly, the minutes ticking by felt like hours. In just a few hours, the bells would sound and I would need to wake up for another long, long day in this place.
Don’t misunderstand me. I was happy to be here. Despite the fact that Sanctuary hadn’t quite turned out the way I had expected, I was grateful to be safe. The alternatives were much worse than being bored all the time. I didn’t want to be back on the road, fighting to survive, fighting for my next meal, running away from the endless hordes of Awakened. But I also didn’t want to be under the clutches of Razi Cylon, the woman behind everything that had happened over the past year. If she’d had it her way, I would be pregnant by now, ready to repopulate the earth for her utopia. I shivered underneath the thin blanket covering my body, even though it was far from cold in this place. Everything here was regulated: our schedules, our meals, even the temperature of our room. Everything was calculated to an exact science, perfected for survival and not much else.
For so long, I had been only concerned with one thing: surviving. Seeing my best friend, my dog, my father, my mother and countless others die in front of me…all I wanted to do was live. I had a fierce obsession with living. Making sure that I had enough food in my system, making sure that I had a place to sleep, making sure that I woke up the next day…those were the priorities in my life. That’s all I needed.
But now? Now I had all those things. I had to work for them, but I gladly worked for the comfort of knowing that I would receive three meals a day and that I would climb into a bed at the end of the night. I had nothing left to obsess over, nothing that seemed to give me a purpose. Instead, all I could think about was how ridiculously boring it was to live in Sanctuary.
The entire world felt like it had stopped living. We were surviving, but we weren’t living anymore. A year a
go, I was a senior in high school, getting great grades, waiting for college letters in the mail, cheering for the football team every Friday night and listening to bands with my best friend, Madison. Now, I was waking up every day and eating and working and learning but I wasn’t going anywhere.
I was nineteen years old and I felt like I was basically dead.
But what else was I supposed to do? There was nothing left. The entire country had turned into a complete wasteland. The United States had bombed their own country into oblivion and from what I had heard since arriving at Sanctuary, the rest of the world wasn’t much better. The virus had spread, jumping continents and oceans, and with no clue where it had come from or what to do about it, the world’s population dwindled and turned to chaos. World leaders were dead. Marshal law was common all over the place. People were fighting to survive.
I knew I should have been focused on that, on how the world was literally crumbling from underneath itself but it was so hard to when I spent my life with the white and gray walls surrounding me at all times. I wanted to bang my head against the wall. I wanted to DO something, anything.
“Zoey, are you awake?”
I took a deep breath, closing my eyes briefly, before responding. “Yeah, I am.”
There was a long pause and I wondered if Kaya had fallen asleep again. I hoped she had. She was a nice enough roommate but she had been born and raised in Sanctuary, she didn’t know anything other than these walls. Which meant that she found me completely fascinating. She was shy as hell but that didn’t stop her from asking me everything there was to know about the “real” world, including shopping malls, frozen yogurt and a multitude of other things I hadn’t thought of in months.
She was sweet as hell and she drove me absolutely insane.
“Are you okay?” Her voice was super high-pitched, squeaky almost, which completely clashed with her Amazon stature. The first time she spoke, I thought she was kidding and had to stop myself from laughing.
I sighed, yanking the covers over my head, ready for the blinking numbers to stop staring at me. “Of course I am. Go back to sleep.”
“Okay.” I waited a few beats and sure enough, her snores filled the room once more. I shook my head, turning over to face the blank wall on the other side of me, ready to stare at it all night if that’s what it took to fall back asleep again.
I missed Ash.
I hardly ever saw him anymore. Sanctuary had strict rules when it came to boys and girls spending time together. You could sort of see their point. While this place was absolutely gargantuan, there was still a population concern. They could not and would not allow it to run rampant. Everything here was under a strict control.
Which was why I had a stupid birth control implant in my arm, whether I wanted it or not. This had pissed me off to no end. Don’t get me wrong. There was no way on earth that I actually wanted a child. I was nineteen years old and there was the whole problem with the Awakened and all that. We weren’t exactly in the prime time to bring a child into the world. But putting an implant in, taking away my choice, that had pissed me off.
When we had arrived, it was immediately apparent that my relationship with Ash was weird. It was unusual because that sort of thing wasn’t normal for those who had grown up in Sanctuary their whole lives, like Kaya. The older generations had fallen in love, married, and had children. But for their children, love and companionship and dating were foreign concepts. Relationships were more business deals than emotional connections. Ash and I obviously fell into the latter category.
Kaya was absolutely fascinated by Ash as well, which amused him to no end. She was a nervous wreck around him too. She usually dropped whatever it was that she was holding if he came anywhere near us and he didn’t make it any easier on her either. He teased her and made her blush like crazy.
But despite the fact that Ash was my boyfriend and I was implanted with the tiny device to keep little versions of me and Ash entering the world, I wasn’t allowed to spend too much time with him. Girls and boys were kept separate most of the time, and we definitely were not allowed to enter each other’s dorms.
I missed being able to touch Ash, kiss him, do things we had been able to do before we arrived here….
I shifted uncomfortably in my bed as a flush filled my body. There had been too many nights like this and I was so tired of it.
“YOU LOOK LIKE shit.”
Ash’s voice was loud in the large cafeteria, which was full of Sanctuary citizens.
I rolled my eyes. I would have preferred much sweeter words coming from my boyfriend this early in the morning, especially before I’d had breakfast, but I couldn’t deny the shivers that went up my spine at the sound of that deep voice. It had been months since I had finally figured out how insanely in love I was with Ash Matthews, flaws and all, but it was still new and exciting and perfect.
Well, almost perfect.
Which made staying away from him most of the day completely awful.
“Thanks, baby. You’re so sweet.” The sarcasm dripped from my lips and he laughed loudly. A few heads turned our way and his smiled stretched across his face even wider.
Kaya and I slid into seats next to Ash and his roommate, Corbin. They both had half empty plates in front of them. Kaya’s face was a brilliant shade of puce and I resisted the urge to scoot my tray away from her. I didn’t wanted to be anywhere near the splash zone if it came down to that. Why she always seemed to look like she was about to vomit around this boy was beyond me.
Technically, according to the never-ending rules of Sanctuary, girls and boys were supposed to sit on opposite sides of the table. The two of us weren’t eager to break rules here. Though no one had ever said that you’d get kicked out for breaking rules, I wasn’t about to take the chance and end up on the run again. However, this small act of rebellion was Ash being Ash. Even when he was trying to follow all the rules, he still couldn’t help but break just one or two. His arm snaked around my waist, pulling me in closer to him, and his lips pressed against my neck, just below my ear.
“Didn’t sleep well?” he whispered in my ear. I shook my head, and he placed an affectionate kiss against my forehead. He turned back to his tray of food but the tingle of his kiss still lingered and I couldn’t help the stupid goofy grin on my face.
Kaya fidgeted next to me, her mouth screwed up. She was always incredibly uncomfortable around us. Affection wasn’t super common in Sanctuary and sometimes it was hard to remember that the public displays of affections needed to be kept at a minimum around her.
But to be fair, judging by the way her eyes constantly darted over to Corbin, I knew she wouldn’t mind those kinds of displays if it were between the two of them…
“She kept waking up last night,” Kaya cut in. She reached for the salt sitting in front of us, and knocked it over, sending a spray of white crystal across the linoleum table. Her face flushed a brilliant tomato red and her eyes darted toward Corbin, who was too busy reading the book he had propped up against his orange juice. He was always so wonderfully clueless.
Corbin had come to Sanctuary much in the same way that Ash and I had. His parents had died in the bombing of Seattle while he and his friends had been driving home for the holidays. The four of them had survived for a few months before coming across someone from Sanctuary who brought them in. there was no college system in Sanctuary, just a basic education before you went on to be trained in some sort of job field within the community, but that didn’t stop Corbin from reading every single book he could get his hands on.
I took a deep breath. “I just couldn’t sleep. No big deal.” I shoved a spoonful of oatmeal in my mouth. Everything in Sanctuary was healthy. No more hamburgers or tacos or any of that. Not that I had had a lot of that in the past year anyway but I was tired of oatmeal and grains and flavorless chicken and salmon.
I know. Perspective. I was working on it.
Despite all that, I had gained weight back again. I was still much smaller tha
t I was back in New York, before all of this. I was practically skin and bones. Occasionally I would run my fingertips across my stomach in the shower, amazed to feel the bones underneath my skin. I had never been able to do that before.
“That’s true. She didn’t wake up screaming. That’s definitely a good thing, right?” No one answered and Kaya looked up from her oatmeal at the rest of us. “What?” Her eyes grew wide. “Oh, that was a bad thing to say, right? That was rude, wasn’t it? I am so sorry, Zoey!”
My fingers clenched around my spoon but I forced a smile. “It’s okay, Kaya. Really.”
It was embarrassing enough to have nightmares all the time. It was even more embarrassing to have them around your completely clueless and tactless roommate. It hadn’t happened in a few nights, but most nights I woke up screaming, coated in a cold sweat that never seemed to go away.
The doctors at Sanctuary said that I had posttraumatic stress disorder. I wasn’t so sure but I wasn’t the expert here so I took their diagnosis with what I could. All I did know was that sometimes it felt like the walls were closing in on me and I couldn’t breath and I couldn’t get out. It wasn’t normal behavior and I’d never felt like that before but I didn’t know what else to do about it. I didn’t want to drown underneath all the panic.
“Where are you working tonight?” Ash asked me.
I swallowed and looked up at him. He looked so different from the boy I had grown up knowing my whole life. The boy who was popular and roamed the hallways in designer clothes made to look like he didn’t care at all. The boy who smiled and winked at girls and no one thought it was cheesy in the slightest. That boy was gone.
But Ash Matthews was still there, despite all that he had gone through. His deep dark brown hair was not styled to perfection anymore. It had grown long and unruly since being on the run. His eyes were still bright and impossibly blue. Even in the mundane black uniforms that we were all given to wear, he looked like the boy I loved. He was beautiful, plain and simple, scars and all. “Laundry. What about you?”
The Sanctuary Page 2