by Cari Quinn
He laughed. “I don’t have girlfriends. You expertly cured me of wanting one.”
“Oh.” Angel didn’t know what to think about that. She scrambled for another reason to put him off this crazy idea.
“What about you? Is there a boyfriend?”
“No,” she said without thinking. Damn, that could’ve been a way to decline his offer. The smug look on his face pissed her off and she recovered with, “Nothing of a permanent nature.” Her remark hit its target and he dropped his gaze.
“Then there’s no reason for you to stay here.” He adjusted the cufflinks on his shirt. “I have three bedrooms if that’s what you’re worried about.”
She wasn’t concerned on that front. He’d have to wear a condom over his whole body before she’d let him make love to her. She wouldn’t take the chance of getting pregnant again no matter how much her hormones raged. The only fool proof birth control was abstinence, a state of being of which she was an expert. She wouldn’t be a woman with babies from multiple men. No way.
“Once Gabriela is comfortable with me, you two can get your own place nearby.”
“I can’t afford an apartment in New York City and what about the licensing requirements, they differ state to state.” Even then, her nurse’s salary could never compete with his money. Billy could give Gabby anything and everything.
Again she worried if he would eventually try to get custody. Panic settled in her tightening muscles. She wasn’t sure if she should run or fight. Hell, even joint custody would crush her. She reminded herself this wasn’t about what she wanted, it’s what was best for Gabby and it always would be.
“I live across the river in New Jersey and I’ll pay for the apartment.”
“I don’t need a man—”
“Damn it Angel!” Billy stood and turned to face her. “You sued me for child support.”
True, but she wanted a check in the mail every month not the man. The foundation of lies her father built crumbled in an instant and she needed to decide based on her new reality. Still, she needed time to adjust. And space. “New Jersey is a long way from here.”
“Years ago you couldn’t wait to leave,” he said softly, almost in a whisper.
“Yes, I did.” She hated this town, hated the people in it who thought she was nothing but trouble and thought she and Billy didn’t belong together, including her own father. Right after graduation she was going to take off for Vegas and support herself hustling pool until she made the pro circuit. She allowed herself one more night with Billy and then broke his heart and in the process her spirit. Then she found out she was pregnant and though she was scared she held onto a secret hope that Billy would be happy. Stupid teenager.
Just because O’Malley lied didn’t mean Billy would’ve run to her rescue. He could act like a knight in shining armor now that he was rich and famous. Where was he when it counted? A fleeting moment of bitterness crept in. But she wouldn’t trade Gabby for all the money in his bank account. Gabby was her world.
“It might be too much. Her grandfather just died and believe it or not O’Malley doted on her.”
“Probably out of guilt.”
Angel’s earliest memory of her father was of him instructing her to call him O’Malley. As Papa, he offered Gabby piggyback rides and sweets. If he’d been this attentive when Angel was little, she didn’t remember it. Calling him Papa in front of Gabby gave Angel some solace to her damaged inner child.
“All I’m asking for is a chance to make things right.”
“Out of guilt?’ She threw back his words regarding her father against him. She had to know.
Billy knelt at her feet and took her hands in his. “The only thing we were both guilty of is being young.”
This time his touch soothed instead of banding like iron. The sincerity of his plea jump-started the inner workings of her heart creating an opening she thought she’d closed forever. Falling in love with him again would be so easy, but she needed to take her emotions out of the equation for her daughter’s sake. “Let’s see how Gabby reacts. If she is scared or the least bit apprehensive, you’ll just have to wait until football season is over.”
He nodded in understanding. “Gabby is her nickname?”
“Yeah, she’s a talker.”
He got off his knees and sat back down on the couch. “Tell me more.”
Billy seemed so interested that she was taken aback for a moment, but then she settled in and started telling stories about their daughter. He sat in silence, staring at the wall of photos. She supposed she’d gone a little crazy with the picture taking, but she wanted Gabby to know she was loved. Angel had exactly two pictures from her childhood.
The long day—hell, her life for the past six years—took its toll and she yawned. She snuggled into the blanket encasing her and a kiss feathered across her forehead. Almost like her and Gabby’s nighttime ritual in reverse. A sigh escaped her lips. She must be dreaming. No one had ever tucked her in.
* * *
The door slammed the next morning and she heard tiny footsteps approaching the couch. Angel played possum then sprung up and pulled her daughter into a tickle-filled hug. The sound of her little girl’s laughter made all the struggles and sacrifices worth it.
“Mommy, you’re silly. Why are you sleeping on the couch?”
“Did you have a good time?” She may have only been next door but Angel missed her baby.
“Yes!” A plastic pink tiara studded in clear rhinestones slid to the side of her head. “But I missed you. Where’s Lucy?”
Angel smiled at the image her daughter made in her pajamas but righted the tiara to proper princess protocol. “She’s in your room.” Angel watched as her little princess skipped off, wondering when Billy left and when he’d return. Maybe he came to his senses and ran off. Better now than later. As long as he sent a check, she didn’t care. Liar.
Angel curled up on the couch with the intention of catching five more minutes of sleep. Then Gabby’s scream filled the air. It was either Billy or a spider. As Angel sprung up she hoped for the latter.
Chapter Five
In the hallway Billy stood frozen in front of the pint-sized tiara-wearing banshee. Frozen in shock or terror he couldn’t say. Probably both. Seeing her smiling pictures was one thing but being confronted by the live screaming version was another. Should he pick her up? He moved to do so and the pitch of her scream reached a level that would shatter every glass in town.
Angel’s footsteps pounded on the hardwood floor. “It’s okay, Gabby.” Reaching their daughter, she scooped her up in a hug.
Sobs replaced the screaming. “Who’s that naked man, Mommy?”
Feeling like a complete shit for terrifying his daughter, he wondered if he was even father material. If the past thirty seconds were anything to go by he’d say no. Not only did he fail to comfort Gabriela, he scared her. If she didn’t have nightmares before this moment she’d probably have them now.
“He’s not naked, Gabby.” Angel’s intense gaze settled on his chest.
Billy fumbled for his shirt even as he reveled in Angel’s appreciative stare, proving that she wasn’t immune to him. After waking from a restless sleep on the recliner he’d stripped off the suit jacket, tie and shirt so he could wash up before leaving for his flight home. What was Angel going to say? Would she lie for now? She’d fallen asleep before they had a chance to talk about how to tell Gabriela.
“Sorry, she’s not used to having men in the apartment.”
He pressed his lips together to keep from smiling. Happy not only for his daughter’s sake of not being confused by other ‘dads’, but that Angel didn’t have anyone special in her life. He reminded himself it didn’t mean she hadn’t found sex elsewhere and the smile he’d been fighting died on his lips. The thought of another man touching her brought out the beast in him.
Angel stroked Gabriela’s hair. “Remember when I said your father didn’t know about you and I couldn’t find him?”
&nbs
p; She nodded into Angel’s rumpled blouse and mumbled, “You lost him.”
“Not exactly lost, but I did find him.”
Gabriela cautiously peeked out. God, she was adorable when she wasn’t screaming. Dark curls framed her chubby cheeks tinged with a rosy glow. Only the track of her tears marred her angelic face. But those tears he caused still watered in those blue eyes, ready to flow at a moments notice. Billy held his breath, waiting for his daughter—and she was his without a doubt—to pass judgment.
Wiping a cheek with a closed fist she asked, “Why do you have hair like a girl?”
Angel laughed.
Billy searched for an explanation suitable for a child. He remembered Angel’s fingers threading through its length. Countless women had followed in the years since. His hair had earned him big endorsement deals. “The Mane” as it was dubbed, flowed from the bottom of his helmet making him a household name. That and his lightening speed down the field.
His little girl, however, found him lacking. Wasn’t a daughter supposed to think of her dad as a super hero? “Gabriela, do you know the story of Samson from the Bible?”
She nodded, her curls bouncing with the motion.
“She goes to Sunday School,” said Angel proudly.
Of course she did. Despite the bar being a place where many an alcoholic or unfaithful spouse passed the time, the O’Malley’s were faithful churchgoers. “Well, that’s why I keep my hair long.”
“Can I braid it?”
“Uh…” That wasn’t the reaction he was hoping for. Apparently she wasn’t buying the Samson story. Braid his hair? He may wear it in a ponytail from time to time, but a braid? If the guys on the team caught wind of it, he’d never live it down.
“Pleazeeeeee.”
She bestowed a smile so stunning he instinctively knew it was some feminine trick she used to get what she wanted. Perhaps he’d catch on to this father gig quicker than he thought. However, knowing you were being played was one thing while actually having a defense against it was another. “Sure.”
Angel arched an eyebrow as Gabriela wiggled in her arms.
“Yay! Down, Mommy.”
As soon as Gabriela’s tiny feet hit the floor, she took his finger into her hand and led him to her room, which he recognized as being Angel’s old one. And now, with two beds, he realized it still was. With Gabriela’s bed decked out with a purple comforter and gauzy white pillows, it was clear that Angel did her best, but plans to spoil his daughter began to form in his mind.
His gaze zeroed in on the pink elephant settled amongst the other stuffed animals. Angel kept it?
Did she ever think about that night? He’d won it for her at the carnival that swooped into town. He spent twenty dollars before knocking down a trio of stacked milk bottles with a baseball but it was well worth the smile he received from the girl everyone referred to as a badass. Later that night they made love for the first time. Maybe fumbled in love would be a more accurate statement.
Now it looked as though the elephant belonged to their daughter. He wondered if Angel had wanted Gabriela to have some small piece of him. Did she hold it at night as she fell asleep? Now his eyes watered as he choked on the emotion flooding into his heart. What the fuck? He tucked the feelings away as he sneezed violently. Not tears at all but an allergic reaction to something in the room.
“God bless you,” said Angel as she plopped onto her bed for a front row seat.
Gabriela directed him to sit on the floor as she collected a brush and a plastic bin filled with hair accessories. He flinched several times as she yanked the brush through his hair, but he was more focused on her chatter. Angel wasn’t kidding when she said Gabby loved to talk. About anything and everything. Flitting from one subject to another so fast that his mind struggled to keep up with her favorite Disney princess, flavor of ice cream, cartoon, and on and on. Hopefully there wasn’t a test at the end, if there was an end.
Without taking a breath, she asked. “Do you want one braid or two?”
“One will do,” he said. Angel’s laughter filled the room. He loved the sound but he had a feeling he was the reason for it. “What’s so funny?”
“You look shell-shocked.”
“Then I look exactly how I feel.” He sneezed again.
A stamp of a tiny foot muffled against the carpet. “Mommy, I need help.”
Angel got up and stood behind him. Arousal fired in his blood and he fisted his hands as Angel braided his hair. As a teen he would’ve pulled her onto to his lap and tickled her until she kissed him. With the familiar feel of her fingers running through his hair, damn if he wasn’t tempted to do it now, but his daughter stood by watching her mother’s every move.
“See? Now try it again.”
Once Gabriela took over, his breathing returned to normal. After several failed attempts, the would-be hairstylist held out two rubber bands in her chubby hand and asked, “Purple or pink?”
Couldn’t there be a black one so he could salvage some of his dignity? Judging from the décor of the room it wasn’t hard to guess her favorite color. “Purple, of course.”
Done she stood in front of him to access her work. “You look silly,” she teased. Leaning forward she pressed her nose up against his. “Mommy said my daddy had special eyes just like me.”
Billy’s shade of cobalt blue needed no touch ups in magazine ads; in fact one would think they used photo manipulation to create the way his gaze leapt off the page. In one of the creepier emails, a fan said she wanted to pluck out his eyeballs and wear them around her neck.
“Mommy said that?” He wanted to ask what else Angel had revealed about him but Angel cleared her throat.
Nodding, Gabriela backed away and tilted her head in deep thought. “Do I call you Daddy?”
Daddy. Such as simple word, but the tug at his heart hurt more than the physical pain of her pulling at his hair. He didn’t want to presume or push realizing how delicate this moment was. “Whatever you want.”
A mischievous grin grew on her face. “Okay, Poopy-head.”
“Gabriela!” Despite the sternness in Angel’s voice he caught a hint of a suppressed giggle as mother came around to confront daughter.
Already feeling protective of his little girl he laughed so she wouldn’t get in trouble and they both joined in. If anyone had been watching, they’d think they were a real family. He risked saying, “I think I prefer Daddy.”
“Good.” Gabriela’s face grew serious and asked. “Are you going to live with us?”
“I—” Billy’s heart leapt but he looked up to Angel for permission. She nodded and Billy continued, “No, I invited you and your Mom to come stay with me.”
Gabriela looked up to her mother with wide eyes. “Are you getting married?”
“No!” Angel dropped to her knees. “No, honey.” Her tone softened when she took Gabriela’s hands in hers. “It’s only for a little while and then we’ll find a place close to Daddy so you can see him whenever you want.”
The way Angel immediately said no like being married to him would be a fate worse than making a living on the pole irked him. On the other hand she generously cleared the way for Gabriela to call him Daddy. Not that he deserved it, but he’d spend the rest of his life earning that honor.
After a long silence Gabriela asked, “Can Lucy come too?”
Lucy? His gut twisted in pain. Could the second bed belong to a child that Angel had with another man? But where were the photos? Gabriela must have noticed his distress mistaking it for an automatic no.
“Pleazzzzzzz… She’s so pretty but sometimes Mommy says she needs a time out.” Gabriela started to giggle like it was the funniest thing ever.
Now he was really confused. He looked to Angel for answers. “Lucy?”
“Lucifer, is our cat,” explained Angel. “Gabby is convinced he is a she.”
A cat? Well, that explained the sneezing.
Chapter Six
After an hour of bonding over hair,
Billy left the room so she could speak privately to their daughter. Pushing back a curl from Gabby’s face, Angel asked one more time, “Are you sure you’re okay with moving so far away?”
Gabby nodded. “We have to move anyway. Can I bring my Barbie dolls?”
Angel blinked at her daughter’s logic. They had until the end of the month to get out of the apartment and turn over the bar. Tony, who held her father’s marker, had the nerve to say he was a good guy by giving her two months to pay up or get out. Even said he’d let her stay if she’d sleep with him. Yep, a real saint of a pig’s ass.
“Of course you can bring them. But, honey, you probably won’t see any of your friends again.” Angel worried her daughter didn’t understand the full implications of moving to New Jersey.
“I can make new friends. I can’t make a daddy. Will he let me eat ice cream?”
“How old are you?” Angel hugged her tightly. Sometimes she swore an old woman lived inside her daughter and at other times she thought Gabby was digressing back into the terrible twos.
Satisfied with her daughter’s answers she left Gabby to play in the bedroom and reluctantly joined Billy, who was waiting in the kitchen. He was pouring himself a mug of coffee from a dusty coffee maker that hadn’t been used since O’Malley’s death two months ago.
“I made you some tea,” he said, plopping his big body into a rickety chair, Billy motioned to a chipped mug across from him.
Angel frowned at him as she sat down.
“So you lost me?” He eyed her steadily as he rubbed his thumb back and forth along the handle of his coffee mug.
Ignoring the tea and the fact that he remembered her preference she answered, “I didn’t say lost. That’s just how Gabby interpreted it. And what was I supposed to say? That you were dead? I wasn’t about to tell her that her father preferred to pretend she didn’t exist.”