Heart Doctor

by Melissa Silvey

  “I exercise when I’m frustrated,” he murmurs, as he slides the straps of my slinky dress off my shoulders. “Sexually, personally, any time I miss you and wish you were in bed with me, I exercise. It’s been helpful.”

  “Helpful at seducing beautiful women?” I counter, and kiss the cleft in his chin, and over his strong jaw.

  “It got you in my bed again, didn’t it?” He tips his head back, offering his thick neck to me. I taste his skin, licking and sucking it. He even tastes different, but oh so delicious. My hands roam over him, he’s so big. His muscles are bulging out of his skin.

  As I’m taking my fill of him, he’s undressing me slowly. We were so full of lust in his room last week, fifteen years’ worth, we were in a hurry to just do it. Tonight, though, he’s taking his time. He is making love to me. We don’t have to worry about anyone interrupting us. It’s just the two of us, like it used to be. He can do whatever he wants to my body, and I’m going to enjoy every moment of it.

  “Say it again, Lex,” I ask, as my hands begin to work on his pants.

  “I love you Olivia,” he replies, and grabs my tits which he has finally freed of their thin silk covering. He’s not gentle with his hands. He kneads, and pinches, and has me gasping and moaning in no time. I’ve missed this so much.

  I’ve missed Lex so much. None of the other men have even held a candle to Lex. None of the other men could possibly compare to Lex. I almost feel bad for other men, having to move around in his orbit. Lex Astor is the sun, and all others are in his shadow.

  He laughs low in his throat as one hand moves down my silk covered stomach, and pulls up the hem of the dress. I move too, to help him. The dress is only coming off if I’m not underneath him, and there is nowhere else in the world I want to be right now.

  “What?” I sigh, as I reach up to kiss right under his ear.

  “I can’t believe you’re really here. I can’t believe we’re here, in this apartment. I can’t…” He groans, when his fingers encounter more silk. Yes, I bought panties the exact same shade and fabric as the dress. Was I hoping that he would see them?

  He moves his hips, and his other hand, and suddenly I hear the flimsy garment rip.

  “Lex,” I complain.

  He laughs again. “I never liked you in panties anyway.” His fingers charge into me, as if they are his soldiers and I am his conquest. “You’re so wet for me, Liv. You’re so wet and ready for my huge cock. Just like I remember.”

  “That’s because I know how good it makes me feel,” I reply. I almost have the object of my desire in my hand. I feel the soft fabric of his underwear, as if it’s just another barrier between us. I push his trousers down his hips, feeling his round, firm ass as I do it.

  “Tell me no one else is as good as me, Liv.” His voice is ragged. It’s a plea from a man who sounds almost insecure. Certainly a man who looks like Lex, who has everything he has, couldn’t possibly be unsure of himself. “Tell me no other man has made love to you like I do.”

  “No one has ever touched me the way you do, Lex.” I moan the words, as he’s searching for that spot that only he has owned. “You touch me like I’m yours, like you own me.” His huge tool is free, and in my hand. I gasp, because I almost can’t believe how big it is. I use both hands to explore it.

  He’s found my g-spot, and he’s making my entire body shake. I’m panting for each breath now. And he’s moaning, because I have one hand around the base of his big prick, and the palm of my other hand is rubbing the head, feeling the moisture there. We’re both so ready for each other. It’s almost like our bodies remember.

  “Tell me no one else has a dick like this,” he prompts. One of his hands is manipulating my most sensitive spot, and the other is pinching my nipple. And he expects me to speak?

  “No one, Lex,” I whisper. Then I cry out, “Ah!” when I feel the muscles clench around his fingers. My orgasm is close, and he isn’t even inside me yet.

  “Tell me you love me, Liv,” he commands. The orgasm is so close, but it’s right outside my reach. He needs to push me into it. But his fingers have stopped. He’s withholding it. I tip my head back, and gaze up into the brightest, sparkling green eyes I’ve ever seen in my life.

  I see his need there, his desire. It’s not for my body, although he wants that too. I can feel from the way his cock is growing and twitching in my hands that he aches to be inside me. But he wants one thing more. He wants my love. He wants my heart.

  “Lex, please,” I groan, and begin to move my hips, to force his fingers to finish the job they started.

  But he’s staring at me still, as if he’s looking into my soul. “Tell me, Liv.” He knows I’m scared. He knows I was afraid fifteen years ago, and he knows I’m afraid now. But he’s going to force me to give him what he wants, just like he would have fifteen years ago. I would have married him, and then my dreams wouldn’t have mattered any more. It would have been all about him, and his goals.

  But I’m not that girl any more. I’m strong. I’m independent. I’ve made my dreams come true. I accomplished everything I set out to, and more. But there’s something missing. Love. I’ve known it since I left him. I haven’t even been looking for it, because I knew where I would find it. I knew it would always be Lex. It’s always ever going to be Lex.

  His fingers thrust deep into me, and I cry out again. I want the orgasm. I want it.

  No. I can have orgasms anywhere. That’s not what I want. I want him. It has always been him, it will always be him.

  “Say it Liv.” His voice is hoarse, from denying his body what it wants, what it craves, what is so close with one quick movement he could have it. But he’s waiting, withholding pleasure from both of us. Because he needs something more.

  “I…”

  “Say it, and mean it.” His eyes are boring into mine, tearing away the years, the fears, and the shadows of all of the other men, and searching for that one thing that I’ve hidden away for so long. My heart. I feel it beating, almost as if it hasn’t been there for years, as if it’s been waiting for him to find it.

  “I love you, Lex,” I declare. “I love you.”

  He withdraws his fingers, and growls, “Move your hands.”

  I know what’s coming. My eyes grow wide. His lips move closer to mine as his body inches forward to take what’s his.

  “I love you.” I whisper against his mouth, as I feel the wet tip of his manhood at the entrance of my femininity. Abruptly he thrusts into me, and I feel every centimeter of him inside me. “I love you!” I scream, right before I feel my muscles contract. He takes my mouth, just as he takes the rest of me. I tip my hips upward, wrap my thighs around his waist, and demand even more.

  Our tongues battle. Our moans create a song. Our bodies fit together perfectly. My hands explore his new muscles, his soft skin, his thick dark hair. I want to touch all of him. I want to possess all of him.

  The orgasm finally washes over me. I move my hips up farther, grinding myself into him. I want more. I want him to come with me. I want him to fill me with it. I want Lex to be as overwhelmed by emotion as I am.

  He wraps his arms around me, pulling me even closer. There is nothing between us now. The jealousy, the heartache, the other people we’ve used to fill the void, it’s all gone. It’s just me and him. It’s us. The way it was, the way it should have been.

  I love him. I love him, and he loves me. This is the start. This is our second chance. We can do this.

  He moans into my mouth. He’s pounding into me. He’s close. I remember his body’s reactions, as if we never stopped having sex. I move my hands down his back, over that sensitive place just above his ass. His groans become deeper. Then I splay out my hands, and grab his cheeks. He thrusts in as far and deep as he can, and when I feel him coming inside me, I come undone with him.

  He breaks the kiss, to bury his face in my hair which has come out of the clip that held it in the pretty up do. He giggles against my ear. He should be squashing me right no
w, but his weight feels wonderful on top of me. My hands caress his skin slowly, and he gasps or moans when I find a sensitive spot.

  It’s like we never left this room.

  We lay together in the afterglow. The wine, the orgasms, the intense sexual release that I just felt is messing with my brain. I feel like I’m spinning, floating, like I never want to come down from this high.

  “Let’s get married,” he whispers.

  Did I hear that right? “Mmmm…” I answer. I’m not going to be able to form words for a while, I’m sure.

  “We could charter a plane to Las Vegas, and get married before midnight. We could have the same anniversary.” He moves to gaze down at me. His light green eyes are full of excitement.

  “Lex,” I grumble, and close my eyes. I’m too drunk for this.

  “We could make it, if we left now.” As he speaks, he rolls off me. I curl up into a ball, and move my hands around the bed to search for a blanket, trying to replace the warmth of his body. “Let’s do it, Liv. Let’s do something wild and crazy.”

  “I’m tired, Lex,” I mumble. “And I’m cold.”

  He’s quiet for several moments. I’m teetering between asleep and awake. Then he sighs loudly, says something I can’t understand, and joins me in the bed. I feel his warmth, and I snuggle into it.

  When he wraps his arms around me, I giggle. “I love you,” I say. Because I can.

  “I love you too, Liv,” he answers, and kisses the top of my head.

  This is where I belong. This is home.

  Chapter Fifteen

  May 22, 2001

  I don’t want to be here. I look around the airport, hoping that Lex will show up. I hope that he will arrive and stop me, that he will take my hand, and pull me back to reality. This is wrong. This is so very wrong. We should be on our way to Mexico. We should be celebrating our wedding right now. We should be the two happiest people on the planet.

  Why did I do this? Why did I make this stupid decision? Why did I allow his mother to place that kernel of doubt in my head?

  The voice on the intercom interrupts my thoughts. “First class for San Francisco is now boarding.”

  I look around once more, hoping to see Lex running toward me. But he’s not there. He’s not here now. I’m on my own.

  How could I be so stupid? I begin to cry as I stand up and walk toward the lady taking the boarding passes. I can’t do this. I can’t leave him. I can’t…

  “Boarding pass, please,” she says as I approach.

  I look back once more. He’s not here. He’s not coming. I hand her my pass, and step into the jet way.

  May 22, 2016

  I should really stop drinking. Why do I do this to myself? Yes, I’m fucking sad and lonely. Yes, I’m alone in the world. Yes, I fucked up fifteen years ago and lost the love of my life. But I’m smarter than this. I’m a doctor for fuck’s sake. I know my liver can’t withstand all of this punishment. I’ll probably have to go on dialysis. I’ll probably die alone of cirrhosis.

  I hear heavy breathing. Who am I waking up beside of today? Freddie Portland would be my guess. He’s the only one I’ve woken up with in years. I smile as I think of it. He’s probably already brushed his teeth. He’s probably just waiting until he sees my eyelashes fluttering before he wraps his arms around me, and pulls me in for a kiss.

  I open my eyes, and look over at… Lex.

  Oh my God. Oh my God! How much did I have to drink last night?

  Think backward. I look down at my dress. It is light blue silk, the one I picked out for the bachelor auction that reminded me of the sundress that…

  Shit. I remember now. The auction. The helicopter. The limo. Charlottesville. Our old apartment. Champagne. The I love yous. And sex. The most amazing sex I’ve had in fifteen years. He is astounding in bed. And he looks fantastic. He has a bit of a shadow on his cheeks. His hair is messy, curly, and extremely sexy. He looks younger in his sleep.

  I have to get away. I have to run. This can’t happen. I’m not ready. We haven’t even been out to dinner, and he’s already talking marriage. I just had that super intense scene with his mom, where I told her to go to hell, and that I was happy I wasn’t in her family. She probably hates me even worse now. And what if he wants kids? I’m a little too old for that now.

  I have to go to the bathroom. What time is it? I’m going to have a record breaking hangover.

  He’s over there sleeping like a baby. I swear it looks like he’s smiling. He’s probably having good dreams. Why is he so happy anyway? Last week, while sitting in my car, he acted like he just wanted to fuck and get it out of his system. He was engaged last week, to someone else. Why would he want to marry me, a week after his broken engagement? How could he ever trust me? How could I ever trust him to not resent me? I mean, if we have a disagreement, how would I know that he wouldn’t throw the last fifteen years up in my face?

  I need to get out of here before he wakes up. If I can get to his limo, I can get to a train station. Then I can take the train to DC. He doesn’t know where I live. Then I can think about all of this, while I’m not reminded of how beautiful he is, and how sexy his body has become.

  I slide off the bed, as quietly as possible. I should go to the bathroom, but I don’t want to wake him. I pad across the carpeted floor, and just as I reach the door, I hear him.

  “You aren’t running away again, are you Liv?” His voice is low, and heavy with sleep.

  “No,” I reply, but I don’t turn around and look at him.

  “Liv, are you lying?” he asks evenly.

  I breathe deeply a few times, and answer him. “No.”

  “Where are you going then?” I hear him exiting the bed. I should open the door and run. I should just leave. He can’t stop me.

  Why did he bring me to this apartment? Damn it. The last time we were here, he screamed at me to leave. I breathe again, but it’s ragged.

  Then I feel his warm hand on my shoulder. “It’s not even six o’clock yet, baby. Come back to bed.”

  “I was thirsty. I wanted orange juice,” I lie.

  “And aspirin?” He chuckles as he says it.

  “Do you have any?”

  He laughs again. “I don’t think I thought of that.”

  “But you thought of alcohol.” The accusation in my voice is obvious.

  He sighs loudly, and places his other hand on my hip. I feel it as if the thin silk isn’t even there. Maybe he ripped it while we were fucking.

  “I had no intention of getting you drunk and taking advantage of you. I swear, Liv. I just wanted to talk.” He leaned forward, and he’s resting his chin on the top of my head. I used to love when he did that. It makes me feel so small, and him big enough to keep me safe. Right now, it’s just annoying.

  “Here? You wanted to talk here?” I even sound like I don’t believe him to my own ears.

  “I know. It was a bit dramatic. But you took every opportunity you could to avoid me in public.” Well, that is not untrue. This is too reminiscent of fifteen years ago. Even the way he’s holding me reminds me of that day.

  So I turn around to face him. He doesn’t stop me this time, thank God. “And the bed?” I avoid his eyes, and look toward the only piece of furniture in the room.

  “The former renter left it?” he muses.

  “With silk sheets and a down comforter and pillows?”

  He sniggers under his breath, before he answers. “That might have been me. I wanted us to be very comfortable when we talked.”

  “Lex,” I begin.

  But he tips my chin up, and I encounter the most beautiful man I’ve ever seen in my life. And he looks even better than normal, because he’s completely naked. He must be one very frustrated individual, because he is shredded. And he’s hard. I feel it resting against my stomach. That’s not the least bit distracting. “Do you regret what happened last night?”

  Looking into his green eyes, which are so full of hope and… And love. His lovely orbs are sparkl
ing like gemstones with it. He loves me. Why doesn’t that make me feel any better?

  “No, I don’t,” I admit willingly. “Did you wear a condom?”

  He looks away momentarily. Damn. It’s only been a few weeks since I took the last emergency antibiotics. Since the first night I slept with Freddie. He said that he wore a condom, but I took the pills anyway. This is not good.

  “No, and I didn’t last week either,” he reminds me.

  “Aren’t you worried about disease or pregnancy?” If he’s bold enough to have sex without a condom, he should be able to handle the question. But he looks away again.

  “I’m not really worried about either,” he says. Then his eyes return to mine, and I realize what he means. He wants to get me pregnant.

  “Oh my God!” I exclaim, and move away from him. I walk toward the bathroom, and he’s right behind me.

  He grabs my hand and spins me around to face him. “Neither of us is getting any younger, Liv. If we have a baby now, I’ll be sixty when he’s twenty.”

  “You should have thought of that sooner in life,” I say, and try to pull away.

  “I did, but the woman I wanted to spend the rest of my life with, who I wanted to be the mother of my children, didn’t see it the same way.”

  I scoff, and try to move toward the bathroom again. “I have to pee, Lex.”

  He releases me, as he says, “I’m still going to be here when you’re finished. We’re going to talk about this, Liv.”

  I close the door, but I still hear him whistling. He falls onto the bed, and I hear him moving around on it. Damn.

  When I’m finished, I notice a package of two toothbrushes, a tube of toothpaste, and a bottle of mouthwash sitting on the counter. If he thought of this, why didn’t he think of aspirin? I brush my teeth, rinse my mouth, and mentally prepare to return to the bedroom. And when I open the door, I find him lying on his back, both hands behind his head, completely nude. His big dick is standing straight up in the air.