Sean (More Than Friends Book 1)

by Fiona Keane

  “Did you want another?” Declan nodded toward the empty pitcher on our table. “My treat.”

  “I shouldn’t.” I pouted, biting my lip in indecision. Declan smiled at me and took some cash from his wallet, leaving it on the table before extending his hand to mine when he stood.

  “May I walk you home?”

  “That would be really sweet of you. Thanks, Declan.” I accepted his hand and walked with him outside. Declan and I slowly glided through the sporadic groups of people on our walk across the Capitol. I liked listening to him, his voice and his words. He started discussing plans to visit his younger sister in Chicago the following weekend when Kelly’s shriek distracted our conversation. We turned in the direction of her squeal, observing Kelly frantically waving at us. Why me?

  “You know her?” Declan chuckled, eyeing Kelly and the minimal fabric that covered her body. I was remorseful that her parents spent an entire dinner looking at their daughter’s minimalist approach to attire.

  “Unfortunately,” I mumbled through my bogus smile as she approached us. “Hi, Kelly.”

  “Oh my god. How cool is it that we get to see each other twice today? Hi, I’m Kelly. You must be Avery’s date.” She extended a frail arm to Declan, who politely nodded and shook her hand.

  “Declan, this is Kelly. Kelly, Declan and Lizzie work together.” I introduced them, eagerly waiting for a chance to escape. Maybe Declan and Kelly would be a good fit.

  “My parents walked to their hotel. Sean just ran in there.” Kelly nodded to the pharmacy across from us, answering my unspoken question. “Where are you two kids headed?”

  “Home. Well, have a good rest of your night, Kelly.” I ran out of time. Damn. Here came Mr. Text Message in all of his date night perfection; trimmed stubble, radiant eyes, and blinding grin that destroyed me, threatening my life with a button-down shirt he neglected to button at the top two buttons, sleeves rolled up along his forearms. I hate him. I couldn’t stop staring, though.

  “Wow, Ave.” Sean scanned the length of me. “You clean up really well.”

  “Thanks.” I clenched my jaw to keep from passing out, but nobody noticed behind my fake smile. I was melting between Sean and Declan and not sure where to look.

  “I’m surprised they let you out of the house like this,” Sean teased before he nodded to Declan. “Hey, man. Nice to see you.”

  After they shook hands, the four of us stood with an awkward silence hanging over us like a raincloud. Well, not Kelly. She kept trying to balance in her excessively high heels and shove her chest into Sean’s arm. I adjusted the top of my sweetheart neckline, finding a need to fidget with something during our strange encounter. I tugged on Declan’s arm, taking the first step out of it.

  “Nice running into you.” I bit my cheek and didn’t wait for anyone to say something else.

  Declan caught up with me and reached for my elbow. “Are you okay, Avery? You didn’t seem too excited about your friends back there.” I brushed it off, laughing in response, and continued to walk to the intersection outside of my apartment building.

  When we stopped at the bottom of the cracked steps leading into my building, I turned to Declan. His placid eyes were full, a gentle chocolate brown with nothing to conceal and no mischievous quality to them. Predictability could be comforting, but the absence of a chase that haunted roguish eyes could also feel tragic. I smiled at him, warmed by the grin with which he replied.

  “This is me.” I pointed to the door. “Thank you again for tonight, Declan. I had a lot of fun.”

  “I’m glad.” He looked at my building and then at me. I worried for a moment he might have expected something more, but Declan remained a gentleman and hugged me before stepping backward.

  “I’ll call you soon,” he assured me, walking away with his hand extended in a wave. With the night over, I mounted the steps inside the building, realizing how exhausted I actually was when my own fire gave way.

  Once locked in my studio, I changed into an oversized t-shirt stolen from Jesse and a pair of shorts. I made a cup of tea, wandered around the enclosed space, and drifted off in my favorite chair. So what if I like my chair?

  When my eyes fluttered open, I reached for my phone to message Lizzie about my date. Surely she would want all the details. I was surprised she hadn’t already called or texted. Then I wondered if Declan told her I was a bore or that we weren’t compatible. Relax, Avery. It was one date. One date in the shadow of Sean and Kelly. Ugh. I kept my messages simple, unlike my thoughts.

  Me: It was fun.

  I worried she might read too much into my lack of expression.

  Lizzie: That’s all?

  I was right. My phone buzzed again, but I returned to the sappy drama enfolding on the television.

  Chapter Two

  I looked around the crowded dining room with the scalding tray of lasagna between my hands. The only seat remaining once everyone took their place was across from Kelly. I knew I was being punished for something. Watching Kelly flirt with Sean was going to be absolute torture.

  Lizzie already brought in the serving spoons and started cutting the lasagna the moment I placed it on the trivet. I quietly took my place between Jesse and Ella, listening to everyone’s conversation. I pretended not to watch Kelly and Sean throughout dinner. I knew it was a terrible mistake to submit myself to their antics, but I couldn’t help surrendering myself to the suffering. It was like getting stuck in the traffic jam surrounding an accident; you want to look away, to avoid it at all costs, but you are somehow sucked in by some morbid curiosity. Chatter buzzed around the table as we filled our plates and glasses, excited for our habitual weekly meal as a dysfunctional family of friends.

  “A toast to Jesse and Avery,” Lizzie giggled as her hand flew into the air, some of the bubbly white splashing out with her toast. “Congratulations, and may the world prepare itself for the trouble you two will bring.” A hum of cheer rang around the table.

  “What’s next?” she asked, eyeing each of her guests. Ella mentioned new attempts to sicken her boss. I fidgeted with the stem of my wineglass and looked elsewhere.

  “I’m going to visit my brother soon,” Sean announced, his voice pulling my attention. “In Miami.”

  “Kelly, are you going?” Jesse called across the table, stuffing his face with garlic bread. A glistening outline of oil traced a ring around his mouth as his lips surrounded the bread.

  “Excuse me,” I quietly whispered, standing up and leaving the table. I was headed toward the bathroom on the other end of Lizzie’s condo while conversation carried on in the dining room. I heard someone follow me, so I stopped once I was clear of the dining room view. It was Lizzie, her cotton black apron still tied around her diminutive waist.

  “Avery,” she spoke gently. “What’s going on?”

  “I’m not feeling well,” I lied. “Just going to the bathroom.” I wasn’t being entirely dishonest with Lizzie, as I had every intention of escaping to the bathroom. I had no symptoms of illness, but the sensation of my stomach traveling toward my throat wasn’t helping me feel any better. Lizzie slowly shook her head and squeezed my left arm.

  “You need to do something about this,” she warned. “You’re only going to keep hurting yourself.”

  “Stop having group dinners. Maybe that’ll be easier?” I suggested, hoping Lizzie wouldn’t pursue further dialogue while everyone remained mere feet away. She released my arm and pushed me into the bathroom with her. Lizzie untied her apron as she started to speak to me, as though fidgeting and fussing with the ties would give her courage to confront me or avoiding eye contact would make it easier to discuss.

  “Look.” She locked the door and started to whisper, her voice barely audible. “I understand how difficult it is for you to be around Sean. Really, I do. I can appreciate how arduous it is when you see him with Kelly, but since you chose not to tell him your feelings, there isn’t anything you can do about it. And what about Declan?” I leaned against the
sink and tended to the invisible lint on my jeans. The pulse in my ears silenced Lizzie’s words. What about Declan? We went on one date. I’d known Sean for six years.

  “You’re ignoring me,” she snorted. “Get it together before you come back out there because if you don’t want the world to know your secret, you can’t keep running into my bathroom every time Sean opens his mouth…as pretty as it may be.”

  “I know,” I grumbled. Lizzie pulled open the door and stepped outside. I didn’t realize I held my breath almost the entire time Lizzie was in the bathroom with me until my lungs began to throb. I turned from leaning on the counter to stare into the mirror. Who else knew how infatuated I was with my best friend besides Lizzie? How embarrassing. With a deep inhale and a shake of my arms to calm my nerves, I returned to the dining room table. I caught Sean changing his focus from eating to me as I stepped inside and took my seat, because I noticed everything he did. His gentle smile fought with my brain as I tried to look away from him. His lips curled into a reassuring grin that seemed almost inviting. I warned myself to stop staring, to stop torturing myself.

  “Ave,” Jesse was laughing from a previous comment I missed, “are you coming out tonight after dinner?” I was still unable to peel my glance away from Sean as long as he sat smiling at me, the jerk.

  Ella kicked my foot under the table, and I turned to Jesse, trying not to appear flustered. “What? Oh, no. Sorry.”

  “Why not?” Sean’s demand rang above Jesse’s response. I looked up, noticing Kelly’s fingers laced between Sean’s, and shrugged my shoulders. I didn’t know if the dinner table, surrounded by our friends and his girlfriend, was the appropriate venue to tell Sean the real reason I didn’t want to follow them out was because I had already suffered enough through dinner, and having more drinks was probably not the safest plan. I felt my lips quiver and reached for my wine to hide the nerves. I didn’t have feelings for him. Lizzie’s crazy.

  “She’s stuck here helping me finish my thesis.” Lizzie’s lie was legitimate enough, so my shoulders felt safe to fall from the height of my ears.

  “Wow,” Kelly sang. “You’re all really into that school stuff.” Oh my god, Sean, why are you with this girl? Ella’s eyebrows rose at Sean, who laughed between bites, ignoring Ella’s attempt at getting a response from him.

  “I present on Thursday,” Lizzie continued. “Jess, hand me some more garlic bread, please.”

  “This is delicious,” Jesse interjected. “Who made it this time?”

  “Me,” I told him, my appetite diminishing. Conversation swirled around the table as we finished eating, glasses clinking in appreciation and delight. I volunteered to help Lizzie with the dishes and met her in the kitchen, carrying several plates and silverware. Her galley kitchen limited the number of occupants, and we managed to begin washing and drying dishes side by side.

  “Can I help?” Sean peeked around the corner, an unapologetic smile plastered on his face. I continued washing, my hands tickled by the bubbles each time I drowned them in the sink filled with hot water.

  “You can dry,” Lizzie suggested. “I’ll get the rest from the dining room.” From above my security bubbles, I silently cursed Lizzie for leaving me. I continued piling clean dishes in the empty sink, waiting until I finished washing to rinse them all.

  Sean took Lizzie’s blue polka-dot towel from the dish rack and patiently waited for each rinsed item. It was an unusually stubborn silence before his voice broke through. “How is Declan?”

  “I don’t know.” I handed him a plate, keeping my eyes focused on the task of washing and rinsing. He smells wonderful.

  “Is he nice?”

  “So far.” Wash, rinse, hand plate to Sean, avoid eye contact, repeat. The scalding water poured into the sink, creating the only sound in the narrow space, while my hand hung heavily with a plate as I waited for Sean to take it from me. I turned my head and noticed his intention to immediately take the plate was non-existent. He stood there, looking at me, the dishtowel dangling at his hip.

  “What?”

  He took the plate from my hand rather quickly with no remorse and returned to his duty of drying. “Nothing,” he grumbled. “Change of subject? Did you decide if you’re going to Jesse’s party?”

  “I am.” Awkward. Kelly skipped into the kitchen, her bleached bob bouncing with each movement. She quietly yanked Sean toward her by the collar of his shirt, pulling him out of the room. The dishtowel fell to the floor as he left, his laughter echoing in the kitchen, and I stood there like a fool. I knew Lizzie didn’t need me to wash her dishes and she’d throw them in the dishwasher, but I needed a purpose, a minute to calm my nerves.

  I joined everyone on the sidewalk, hugging myself tightly. I tried to keep my feelings as platonic as possible, but my heart stopped when Sean coiled his strong arms around me for a hug goodnight. His cologne tickled my nose, sending wafts of welcomed spice into my lungs.

  “Thank you for dinner.” He kissed my forehead and pulled away. “We’re going to sleep well now that we’re stuffed!”

  “Uh huh.” I swallowed, savoring the last clouds of air between us. Ella’s hand was squeezed between my fingers as I watched Kelly skip toward Sean on the sidewalk near his vintage Wrangler.

  “Why do you torture yourself?” Ella whispered to me, a smile plastered on her face as we watched Sean take Kelly’s hand. He held the door for Kelly, not closing it until she was securely fastened inside. Thankfully for my nerves, Jesse and Lizzie came down the steps, distracting Ella and me from the view of Sean’s Wrangler gliding into the distance. Great. Ella sees it too? Is it so obvious?

  “Hey,” Jesse put his arm around Ella’s shoulders, “who wants to continue this conversation at the pub?”

  “Not me.” I sighed, shaking my head and releasing Ella’s hand. Jesse’s head hung behind him, as if denying him an opportunity to continue his acts of gluttony was a crime.

  “Lizzie? Be my saving grace,” he teased. “Please?”

  “Sorry, Jess,” she laughed, “but I’m with Avery on this one.” Ella smiled and patted her hand on Jesse’s chest as the four of us stood on the sidewalk.

  Lizzie reached for the door, winking at Jesse and Ella. “Goodnight!”

  ***

  Days later, I arrived early for our poker game. It was just Sean, me, and tension. I sat on the leather couch in Jesse and Sean’s small living room, waiting for Sean to return from the kitchen with a glass of water. Looking around, I found no real celebration of Kelly in his life. There were no pictures on display or love letters lying around, not that I expected there to be a lot of things because Sean was a minimalist, but I assumed there might be a picture stuck to the fridge at least. Even I had those. I couldn’t help but selfishly hope they weren’t serious.

  “Here you go.” Sean stepped closer to me and set the glass on the coffee table. “Where were we?”

  “Your trip to Miami.”

  “Right.” Sean wiggled into the leather club chair across from me, lifting his crossed ankles to the coffee table. “I think I’ll just play it by ear, you know, maybe go for a few weeks and see how I feel.”

  “Find a new girlfriend or two.”

  “Maybe,” he flashed a grin, “or maybe not. What time is everyone coming over?”

  Subject change? I tried to hide my intrigue by glancing at my watch. We talked for two hours about mindless nonsense and each minute was beyond comfortable. Even with my exploding heart in his presence, it always felt like I’d been away, this was home, and the seductive melody of Sean was a reward. Get it together, Avery. I shook my head, clearing myself of such pathetic thoughts, and sighed.

  “What’s wrong?”

  “Nothing. They’ll be here soon.”

  He eyed me speculatively. Even that made his green eyes shimmer beautifully. “Are you sure? That was a pretty deep sigh.”

  “Where are your poker chips?” I stood up and put my hands in the pocket of my jeans. Sean pointed to the glass cabinets
next to their defective fireplace. Helpful. Squatting at the cabinet, I searched for the chips. Sean moved behind me, nestling into the couch I was just in, and stretched his legs along the cushions. I hoped he didn’t catch my eyes widen once I turned around.

  “You look comfortable,” I chided. “There’s nowhere for me to sit now.”

  He rubbed the space next to his legs while flashing his stupid I-bet-you-wish-I-was-single grin. “There’s plenty of space right here.”

  The door opened, and Jesse stepped inside with Ella and Lizzie behind him. Their distraction was welcomed and helped my heart return to a normal rhythm. I practically skipped to the door, falling into Lizzie’s hug.

  “I’m so glad you’re here,” I whispered as her blonde curls tickled my nose. “I was afraid for my safety.” She cackled, knowing all too well it was about Sean. Jesse and Ella began clearing the coffee table while I helped Lizzie with the two pizza boxes she carried. Sean reluctantly pulled himself from the couch, brushing too close to me on his way out of the room. Maybe it was all in my head.

  “I hate poker,” Lizzie moaned. “We don’t know how to play this game. The boys always win. Is Kelly coming?” I hoped Sean hadn’t invited her or she had some inane sorority function. Ella handed out plates and placed one box of pizza on the floor next to the coffee table before sitting down on the carpet, crossing her feet beneath her legs. We scattered around the coffee table when Sean returned. He sauntered into the living room, seemingly having forgotten to put on the dark green t-shirt dangling in his hands. He’s doing this on purpose. I hate him. This is definitely not just in my head.

  “Dude, put your clothes on,” Lizzie reprimanded him. “I’m trying to eat.”

  “He lives here,” Jesse scolded her.

  “I wouldn’t tell you to put your clothes on at your house or my house, Lizard.” Sean winked at her and pulled the shirt over his head, matting his hair.