Blue Love

by Mj Fields

“You had better go, I don’t know, take care of that before anyone wakes up,” she said and rushed him out the door.

  Within minutes John was turning off her alarm.

  “Oops,” John said as he walked down the stairs, “must have forgotten that one.”

  They opened the same time and they both giggled. “Tessa,” she heard Kendall.

  “I’m sorry did I wake you?” Tessa asked.

  “Yes, but if he is going to come in here every night maybe you should wear more pajamas” Kendall said.

  Tessa’s jaw dropped, “Kendall I am so sorry, it won’t happen again.”

  “No it’s okay I won’t tell, he makes you stop crying and kisses your sadness away each time you do, and he’s not doing anything wrong. But you need to wear more pajamas okay?” she asked.

  “Okay Kendall,” Tessa said and tears filled her eyes as she hugged her, “Go back to sleep you have another hour.”

  She walked out and he stood in the hallway looking at her. Tessa looked up at Luke, “Thank You,” she said and he hugged her and kissed her head.

  “I wouldn’t want to be anywhere else,” he said.

  ~

  They walked downstairs, she went in the kitchen and he went in the bathroom. She put cinnamon rolls in the oven and he walked out. “Can I hug you?” he asked.

  She smiled and hugged him, “I think after the game Friday night we should invite some people up to camp,” Alex walked in and she let go of Luke, “What do you think Alex?”

  “Sounds like a plan,” Alex yawned.

  ~

  They went to school and Tessa signed up to try out for the spring musical, it did not say what they were doing but she thought it would be fun. Last year the she had a supporting role, Tessa hoped for a little more this year but would take what she could get.

  The football team was leaving at noon for their game, a two hour bus ride away. There was a pep rally before it, it was fun and the guys came out and danced to the music. That boy could move she thought as she watched Luke. Luke winked at her and she smiled. The field hockey team had made a banner for them just as they did for the girls two days before.

  The girls hugged their guys and Luke walked up to Tessa, “Wish me luck?” Luke asked.

  “You don’t need luck rock star, you got this,” she pulled his head down and kissed the top of it. She gave him a hug and whispered, “Love you bud, now go kick some ass.”

  He leaned over and kissed her cheek, she shook her head, “Sorry baby gotta take it when I can,” Luke smiled and ran to catch up.

  Sadi threw her a nasty look as she got on the bus and made her way back to Luke and sat in the seat across from his.

  He looked out the window and mouthed. “I Love You baby,” and Tessa smiled and crossed her eyes and stuck out her tongue at him.

  “Thought you were just friends?” Sadi said glaring at him.

  “We are Sadi,” he said in a monotone voice not looking at her.

  “Well I have never seen you hug and kiss a friend before Luke,” she sneered.

  He looked at her, “And how many female friends have I ever had?”

  “I don’t know!” Sadi said, “None!”

  “Ding ding ding,” Luke said, “They all wanted more and I willingly caved. It’s not like that with her, I actually like her Sadi, accept it or not I really don’t give a shit, just leave her alone, unless you want me to push for more,” Luke warned.

  She did not answer.

  ~

  Tessa, Jade and Phoebe rode with her parents and siblings to the game, they walked in just as the game was about to start. The other team looked like college players, all very large. Tessa whistled loudly and Alex heard her, she waved at him. Alex elbowed Luke and he smiled, she blew them kisses. His Dad, Audrianna, and the girls sat behind them. The girls jumped on her lap, “Hello princesses,” Tessa said and hugged them; Luke smiled and waved to them.

  “How are you doing Tessa?” Audri asked.

  “I’m good, how are you?” she asked.

  “I am actually kind of wonderful,” she smiled, “Thanks to you, I think Luke gave me some great advice, so thank you.”

  Landon walked in with his arms full of food and little pom poms for the girls, “Hello Tessa,” he smiled, “What happened to your head?” Landon asked.

  “Championship field hockey game,” Tessa smiled.

  “Did you win?” Landon asked.

  “Yes,” Tessa said.

  “Way to go.” Landon said and patted her on the shoulder, “Lucas and Audrianna tell me that you were quite pissed off at my son the last time we met, I would have never known. Why did you act like nothing was bothering you?” he asked.

  “I wanted him to win; I want him to be okay. It was only two days, apparently I am a good actress,” Tessa said smiling.

  “Are you acting now, with everything that has come to light?” he asked.

  “No Mr. Links, I know your son is a great guy and forgive me if I sound, well my age, but I love him and want what’s best for him regardless of what is happening. We are friends, and I hope we always will be,” Tessa said and looked at him her eyes saddened.

  “That isn’t typical of your age Tessa and thank you,” Landon leaned forward and hugged her. Luke watched and smiled.

  ~

  The game started and it started out fiercely. Luke was sacked for the first time all season. They had been a huge passing team and the opposing team knew it and blocked almost every chance they had. Luke threw a 40 yard pass to Tommy and he made the first touchdown of the game. He held up his J and Jade smiled. They were tied at half time. Tessa watched as Landon got up and walked towards a row of what looked like college scouts and shook their hands. The second half started. Luke passed the ball at the fifty yard line and it was intercepted. Number 72 from the opposing team ran fast down the field and passed everyone; Luke ran after him and tackled him at the ten. The ball was loose and Luke recovered it. Tessa jumped up with the rest of the crowd and cheered. The game ended with the boys in blue ahead by seven. They all ran to the field, Tessa ran to Alex and hugged him, Luke looked at her and was beaming, she hugged him and he spun her around “Amazing job Rock star,” she said and he kissed her on the mouth, and she let him. He put her down and his family walked up to him and Tessa’s family to Alex. The scouts followed and shook their hands.

  Sadi walked up and kissed Luke on the cheek, “Good Job,” she said.

  “Thanks,” he said and looked past her.

  Luke walked up to the boys and they all hugged.

  Number 72 ran up to them, “Good game guys,” he said.

  He had brown hair and brown eyes, and he was very handsome, he looked at Tessa, “Your boyfriend kicked my ass out there today Ross,” number 72 smiled.

  “He is not her boyfriend,” Sadi said loudly.

  He smiled and winked, “Good to know, see you in two weeks Tess.”

  Luke looked at her; she shook her head not knowing who he was.

  “So did you tell her yet?” Sadi asked annoyed.

  “Sadi of course he told me, we are friends remember?” Tessa said sarcastically and turned to walk away.

  “So he told you we fucked less than a week ago?” Sadi asked.

  Tessa kept walking, she didn’t want to play the game with Sadi.

  ~

  She walked up to her dad who was standing next to number 72 and a man she recognized.

  “Hey Tessa, do you remember Ben?” John asked.

  “No, sorry I don’t,” Tessa smiled.

  “His Dad comes up every year for a week and hunts with us. Ben is coming up this year with him,” John announced.

  She smiled, “Cool.”

  Ben put his arm around her shoulder, “Tess you’re breaking my heart, how could you forget me?” Ben said laughing, “We use to shoot bow and arrow together.”

  “Benji?” she asked and smiled as she turned and hugged him, “I used to kick your butt, I hope you’ve gotten better.”

  He h
ugged her, “We shall see, damn you have changed,” he said, “You are smoking hot now.”

  She laughed, “Why thank you and look at you, not bad at all,” Tessa said and smiled.

  “No boyfriend Ross?” Ben asked.

  “Nope,” she said.

  “Great then you’re going to have to let me take you out some night,” Ben said, “Is it a date?”

  “We shall see, I guess it all depends on how well you shoot, I certainly could not go out on a date with someone whose butt I can kick, you’re going to have to redeem yourself after that play,” Tessa said and they both laughed.

  Luke walked up to them with his head down, “Luke this is Ben,” Tessa said introducing them.

  “Hey Luke,” he said and put his hand out and Luke firmly shook it, “Tess didn’t remember me; our fathers went to college together. We hunt together every year, and Tess here,” Ben said putting his arm around her, “Used to kick my ass when we shot bow. Do you hunt?”

  “I will be this year,” Luke said and smiled.

  “Great then I will see you both in a week, Tess you denied me as your friend on Facebook, ouch,” he said and kissed Tessa’s hand and walked away.

  “I got you and Alex something, so when you get back check in your glove box, I will be setting up at camp,” Tessa smiled. “See you then,” she walked away.

  ~

  The girls had invited a few friends to join them at camp; the boys pulled in and walked down to camp.

  Tessa beamed when she saw them, she had made cupcakes and the girls had decorated them with their numbers and school colors, Tessa wrote, ROCKSTAR on the one she made for Luke.

  Luke was quiet when he came in.

  “Cheer up buttercup,” Tessa said as she walked by and elbowed him.

  He watched her as she danced around and talked to everyone.

  “We need to talk,” he said grabbing her hand and pulling her behind him outside. “First of all I love the necklace,” he said as he pulled it out from inside his jacket, “Thank you, but Tessa I know you’re pissed about what Sadi said at the game so please let me explain.”

  Tessa looked at him and was confused, “Oh,” she gasped as she searched his face that was ridden with guilt, “Oh Luke, you slept with her last week?” she asked, “I thought she was, oh” she looked down, “When? Why?”

  He told her what happened, every detail. She stood there shocked, she took a deep breath and forced a smile on her face.

  “Okay then,” she said and turned to walk away.

  “Tessa wait,” he said.

  She turned to look up at him, he expected tears and that was not what he got.

  “Luke I am not sure what you want me to say? Shall I congratulate you on your ability to get high, or the way women throw themselves at you, although I would hardly call that a woman,” she started, “Or your problem with controlling this?” she said and reached down and firmly grabbed him and stared into his eyes which widened. She let go, “You have a problem, a couple actually, but I am not yours and you are absolutely not mine,” Tessa said and turned.

  Luke grabbed her arm and she pulled it away. “Tessa I love you I am sorry.”

  She turned and smiled at him, “Now I still want you to be okay and I care deeply for you and I will pray Luke that someday you can see how wrong that is, but our friendship was never a friendship, because I loved you so much, no matter the hurt it caused me,” the pain in her eyes was almost more than he could bear, “but that’s where I was wrong, I said one thing and wanted something else desperately. I was hurt then, now I feel betrayed.”

  “I have never lied to you Tessa,” he said.

  “I suppose not, how very noble of you,” Tessa said and walked inside.

  Jade looked at Tessa she could tell something was wrong. Tessa smiled, “Please tell Tommy Luke needs a friend right now,” she said clearing her throat and taking a deep breath, “and Jade right now I need to fall apart so can you come to the pond after you see that Tommy takes care of Luke please,” Tessa asked and walked out the door.

  Chapter 23

  The next week went by slowly. Each day the same, Tessa would wake and get breakfast ready and Luke would always thank her. She felt numb, she would come home after school and do her homework and chores and fix dinner. Tessa got the lead role in the play Avita and her practice ran from six at night until nine.

  Luke and Alex had basketball practice after school and he was home by five. Luke would do whatever he could to be in her presence and appear busy. When she left for practice he and Alex would shoot hoops or guns until she came home.

  Tessa never told anyone about Sadi and Luke’s last night together, Jade and of course Tommy knew. Tessa would smile and make small talk and joke when other people were around but when Luke was alone with her she avoided him completely. They worked together on Saturdays at the Spot without many words exchanged. Tessa was secretly in agony and Luke missed her more and more everyday as he watched the only girl he ever loved quickly slipping away from him.

  ~

  Tessa went up to Camp to clean for the big opening weekend celebration. She carried a bag full of cleaning products into camp and walked in. Luke was on the counter cleaning the windows and he turned as he heard someone walk through the door. Luke finished and jumped down.

  “Oh hey Tessa did you come to help?” Luke asked.

  He had the fire going and it was hot in there, which must be why his shirt was off, she thought.

  “Yep, I do this every year,” Tessa said and forced a smile.

  “I know Alex told me, just thought I could get it done so you didn’t have to,” he said and looked down. “You do everything at the house and I thought I should pitch in since you have to deal with my sorry ass for the next two months,” Luke said trying to joke.

  Tessa saw the black frame around the Doe camp sign that was now hanging above the fireplace. She smiled; he watched her eyes and saw what she was looking at.

  “You like it?” he asked leaning on the counter and crossing his arms in front of him, “I thought it deserved a frame,” he said and smiled.

  “Looks good,” she said as she unpacked the bags of products and supplies.

  He reached over and grabbed a bottle of Clorox and she bumped into him. She froze and so did he, she looked up at him and closed her eyes and took a deep breath, he smelled so good.

  His hands were in the air and his eyes were closed as well. He was taking deep breaths. He opened his eyes and looked down into hers, his heart raced. They stared at each other for a long time, he swallowed hard, “Tessa I can’t move right now, so you’re going to have to,” Luke said in a whisper.

  Tessa quickly moved underneath Luke’s arm and walked outside to grab the groceries out of the truck, when she came back he was gone. She opened the back door to shake out a rug and he sat crouched down hugging his knees. She walked past him and shook the rug off the porch and turned and saw his eyes filled with tears. Luke clenched his jaw and looked up at her and shook his head. She couldn’t look away, her eyes filled and she dropped to her knees in front of him and began wiping his falling tears with her sleeve.

  “I am so sorry Tessa,” he said taking deep breaths.

  “Lucas,” she whispered “please don’t cry.”

  “Tessa, I have never felt this pain in my life, I feel like my heart is literally breaking into pieces and then I see you and feel the hate you have for me and I can’t even give you the space you deserve. I fucked up I am so sorry,” she hugged him, “Tessa don’t,” he said and cried.

  She didn’t let go. He finally relaxed and wrapped his arms around her and it felt so right.

  “I don’t hate you Lucas,” Tessa whispered.

  She wanted to tell him she loved him and that she and he could work through this, that she would help him raise his child and they would get married one day and live happily ever after.

  “I want to be your friend, it’s just going to take some time, sorry.”

  “You have
nothing to be sorry for Tessa,” he said.

  “Okay, you’re right I am perfect. You are lucky to have me as a friend,” Tessa laughed, “but Luke I am lucky to have you too,” she stood up, “because without you it would take me all day to get this place clean,” she said and laughed.

  She grabbed both his hands and pulled him up; she wiped his face with her sleeves and stared into his beautiful green eyes.

  “Now would you please put a shirt on?” Tessa asked and turned walking into camp.

  He knew she still loved him and selfishly, for now that was enough.

  Tessa had her head phones on and was cleaning, he walked past her and ran to his SUV and wondered where she parked. He walked into camp and plugged in his Bose and taped her shoulder, she jumped and laughed.

  “Share your music?” he asked.

  “Sure,” Tessa smiled and handed it to him.

  Luke turned it on and looked at her playlist, he laughed.

  “What’s so funny,” she asked feeling embarrassed.

  “You TT,” he said, “your playlist, I’m just not sure which one to choose from, it’s either get pumped, dance your ass off, goodnight tunes or,” he said as he scrolled down and shook his head, “fuck off LL”

  “I was mad,” Tessa said softly.

  “Can we listen to that one?” Luke asked and laughed.

  “Sure Luke, maybe you’re not LL,” Tessa said looking at him with both eyebrows raised.

  “Ok,” Luke said laughing and he flipped through the play list, he grinned and she continued to clean, he added three songs from his iTunes account and pressed play.

  They cleaned and with each song he shook his head and smiled at her, Respect by Aretha, Hate Everything About You, by Ugly kid Joe, I Hate Men by Cole Porter, Love Song by Tesla, Yellow Ledbetter by Pearl Jam, which shocked him.

  “You happy now?” Tessa asked and forced a smile.

  “No not yet, I added a couple for you, you know just in case you ever wanted to hate that jerk for a longer amount of time,” he smiled.

  Pearl Jam’s Black played and she sang along with it. “Good Song,” she said “a little dark though.”

  “Black actually,” he grinned and raised his eyebrows.