by Sybil Bartel
“I don’t have issues.”
I wasn’t touching that. “Catch you tomorrow.”
“Hey. What’s the real deal? You haven’t taken a night off in years.”
“Business dinner.” It wasn’t a complete lie.
“You branching out?”
Me and Jared and one other Marine buddy had talked about this a few times. I’d turned them both onto what I was doing. None of us were prepared for civilian life but I’d adapted quicker. Jared was into rough sex and he took to the business but Dane was a different story. That fucker was huge and silent and scary as hell. He’d disappear for days, sometimes weeks, and I wasn’t sure what the fuck he had going on. Twice he’d called me to take a few of his clients because he’d looked like he’d been hit by a truck. When I’d asked what happened, he’d passed it off as a rough day at the gym. Which was bullshit because we all went to the same gym and none of us could take him in the ring.
“Looking into a charity,” I admitted.
Jared burst out laughing. “What kind of charity does a hustler front? The boyfriend experience for needy chicks?”
“Fuck you.” But he was right. None of us broadcasted what we did outside our circle. I wasn’t an idiot. I couldn’t do this forever. I’d known going in that I needed an exit plan, and I had one. For two years from now. “It’s for veterans.”
“Since when do you give a shit about veterans?” Jared had no love for the military.
“I’m talking to you, asshole, aren’t I?”
He chuckled. “Fair enough. What chick got you involved in this?”
“I didn’t say a woman was involved.”
“What restaurant?” he asked, so casually I didn’t see the trap.
“Pietra’s.”
He laughed, hard. “You fucking dog, you’re going on a date. Does she know how you pay the bills?”
Christ. “Just take care of my clients tonight.”
“I do that and they won’t want to come back to you,” he taunted.
A few days ago, that would’ve bothered me. “Give it your best shot. I’ll still collect my twenty percent.”
“No way, one-time deal only. After that, I keep my earnings. Unlike you, I don’t do charity. Later.” He laughed and hung up.
I called Dane. He picked up on the third ring, but same as always, he didn’t say anything.
“It’s Alex.”
“I know.” His deep, quiet voice had no intonation.
I exhaled, wondering if this was a stupid fucking idea to call him, but he was the only person I knew who had a dog. “What do you know about PTSD service dogs?”
“Hunter isn’t a service dog.”
“But let’s say you wanted one, would you train him?”
“No. He’s a personal pet.”
“All dogs are pets.”
“Not according to federal law. Service animals aren’t pets.”
What the hell? “For arguments sake, let’s say you wanted your dog to be your pet and a service animal, what would that be? A therapy dog?”
“Therapy dogs are used in hospitals or schools, or disaster areas. They don’t provide assistance for their handlers. They’re not the same as a service animal. They don’t have the same accessibility rights.”
“Rights?”
“Legal access to any public place.”
Christ, I didn’t know this was so complicated. “So how could you turn Hunter into a service dog?”
“I wouldn’t. I’d declare him an emotional support animal. It doesn’t require any special training.”
“Then how do you train a service dog?”
“Pick the right breed, give them basic training, then custom train them for each individual based on their needs and then adapt dog to owner.”
You’ve got to be kidding me. “Every service dog is custom trained? How do you make money on that?”
“You don’t. That’s why charities do this.”
I rubbed a hand over my face. “How long would it take to train one of these dogs?”
“Don’t know. Months at least.”
My mind was reeling and I was beginning to see what Olivia was up against. “How many would you train at once?” She’d need more than rented kennel space.
“One. Maybe two.”
Jesus. She couldn’t even have pets in her apartment. How was she going to swing this? “Then after they’re trained, you give the dogs away.”
“Basically.”
“All right, thanks. You gonna be at the gym tomorrow?”
“I’m not in town.”
“Vacation?” I joked.
“No.”
I waited but he didn’t elaborate. “You ever gonna tell me what you’re up to?”
“Need to know.” He hung up and a knock sounded on my front door.
Thinking it was the mailman with a package, I swung open the door and cursed.
“Irina.” With a fucking suitcase. “What are you doing here?”
Drenched in sweat, thirsty and pissed at myself for spending the entire walk back entertaining the idea of how convenient Alex’s offer would be, I trudged up my stairs. And because my life was already one big suck fest, Jesse opened my front door.
“I was leaving you a note.”
“Yeah?” I wanted to be pissed at him but I was too busy having heatstroke. I pushed past him and went to the kitchen. “What’s it say? Sorry I kissed you and made you walk home, but you needed to learn a lesson?” I filled a glass with tap water and chugged it.
He leaned against the counter. “I’m not trying to teach you a lesson.”
Yum, unfiltered City of Miami water. I probably just got some waterborne disease. This was what happened when you made no money and used what little you had to start a charity. You couldn’t afford Evian. “We talked about the key.”
“I’ve always had a key to your place.”
“And I’ve never had one to yours. How convenient for you.”
He exhaled. “You’re angry.”
I didn’t want to fight with him, but it was like a switch had been turned and I couldn’t get past being mad at him since he’d kissed me. “Gee, what gave you that impression?”
“Is this about us or him?”
He wasn’t getting off that easy. “You tell me. You’re the one who was leaving me a note.”
He didn’t bite. “What happened after I left?”
Because I was in a mood, I let my mouth go. “He put his dirty hands all over me and forced me to do untold things.”
Jesse’s jaw clenched and his hands fisted. “What happened, Liv.”
I sighed dramatically. “We argued, he offered to partner with me on the charity, and then he asked me on a date.” Just saying it made me tired. And I was tired of being tired. And stressed out. And when did my life become more than a simple plan to train a few dogs and make a difference in a veteran’s life? “I’m going to shower.”
I didn’t wait for a response. I stripped out of my tank as I walked down the hall because I couldn’t stand another second in my nasty shirt, and if I was being honest, Alex did more for me than just fuck me. I was no longer shy in front of Jesse. Let him see what he’d missed out on. Not that it mattered anymore because I’d already been ruined by a ten-inch cock.
Just the memory of last night had me hot and bothered and I wondered when I’d turned into that girl. The one who goes all weak in the knees for the first man to give her an orgasm… or ten.
“You’re bruised.”
Startled, I looked over my shoulder.
His gaze locked on my naked back, Jesse stood in the doorway. “You like it rough.”
It wasn’t a question, and even had it been, I didn’t have an answer. I’d never thought about what I liked before last night. The memory of Alex holding me down on the bar as he fucked the hell out of me flooded my mind and I shivered. “Close the door.”
Ignoring my request, he stepped around me and turned the shower on. “You didn’t have to go to someone like him. You c
ould’ve come to me.”
My heart started to race and I crossed my arms over my chest. “I don’t know what you’re talking about.”
“Yes you do.” He grasped my hair at the base and pulled the elastic gently out.
“Jesse,” I warned. “You need to leave.” Everything he was doing was making me uncomfortable because this wasn’t him. My best friend didn’t follow me into the bathroom and stare at me. And he’d never touched my hair.
He tested the water. “I wouldn’t have left marks on you.”
“Okay.” I held my hand up. “You’re crossing a line.”
“Which line is that?” His gaze swept over my body. “Because after last night, I didn’t think you had many left.”
I slapped him.
My hand stinging, my heart hurting, I watched the red imprint color his cheek and shame seeped deep into my bones. Tears sprang and words stuck, thick and unmanageable on my tongue but I pushed out a response that wouldn’t sink us further past the point of no return. “Get out.”
He dropped his voice but his brown-eyed gaze that was full of intensity held steady. “I always wanted you.” He walked out.
I sank to the edge of the tub and curled in on myself. “Shit.”
Steam filled the bathroom and my body shook. Adrenaline, regret, anger, it was a stew I wanted no part of. But the meat of it was what really scared me. Deep down, my sixteen-year-old self was begging me to run after him. She wanted me to chase the boy who’d enlisted in the Marines. She wanted me to grab his hand and sink into his arms and beg him to forget what I’d done last night. She wanted a breath of the life that could’ve been. She wanted her brother back.
But he wasn’t coming back.
Tears slid down my face and mixed with the hot sting of shame as I stripped off my pants and stepped in to the shower. I scrubbed and I scrubbed, but nothing eased the ache of guilt. I’d denied my brother for Jesse. One split-second decision and I’d taken him away. My own brother. He was dead and I was here, fucking my life away.
I didn’t realize I was sobbing until the water shut off and strong arms wrapped a towel around me.
“I killed him.” The confession seeped out like an open wound.
Silent body heat cradled me and lifted. Jesse carried me into my room and placed me on the bed. He didn’t speak. He didn’t comfort. He did what he always did when I broke. He pushed the pieces together.
It was the closest to home I’d ever felt. But in that moment, it struck me. I wasn’t home. I wasn’t even comforted. I was cold and tired. Desperation bled into despair and the poison of my guilt leaked onto us both. “I kill everything. Me, my charity, us.” I couldn’t hate him for wanting Jennifer.
Jesse wrapped the comforter around me.
He should want someone else. I was no one. I was racing toward a certain existence that counted on nothing but regret. He didn’t deserve that. Jesse hadn’t done anything wrong. I had. For years. “I’m sorry.”
As familiar as if this was his bedroom, he opened the drawer on the nightstand and pulled out the bottle of prescription sleeping pills I never took unless he gave me one. Shaking one into his hand, he held it to my lips.
Like an obedient child, I took it and swallowed it dry.
He didn’t crawl into bed beside me. He didn’t offer any words of comfort. His eyes didn’t even meet mine. He pulled the curtains shut and he did what he did best.
He walked out.
“Aren’t you going to let me in?”
Jesus fucking Christ. “How do you know where I live, Irina?” I didn’t move.
She pushed past me in a huff. “The Third.” She set her suitcase next to the paintings and waved a dismissive arm through the air. “He does the background checks on everyone.”
I’d set up an LLC and bought the penthouse through it. It wasn’t completely anonymous but it should’ve stopped most people from finding me. “I’m coming back to that, but you’re not staying here.” It made me wonder who the hell her husband was.
“I did not sign a prenup and I have nothing to do with what the Third does. I did not tell him to background check you.”
“Your shit with him doesn’t have anything to do with me, Irina. I told you, we’re done. And if you had nothing to do with it, then how did you get my address?”
“He kicked me out and I needed somewhere to go. What’s the problem?”
Was she fucking serious? “You showing up here is the problem.” And the fact that I’d come inside a hot, mouthy brunette last night who had me jonesing so bad for another taste it was all I could think about.
She waved her arm again and her accent got thicker. “Is temporary.”
“Check into a hotel, Irina.”
Petulant, she huffed as she sat on my couch. “I have no credit cards. He took them.”
“Not my fucking problem.” But even as I said it, I knew I would cave and help her in some way. I hadn’t forgotten that she was my second client. I’d met her right after my first and only client at the time died of cancer. She’d given Irina my name and rate, which was higher than what she’d paid me. I’d always wondered if she’d secretly hoped we’d wind up permanent. She’d hated Irina’s husband.
Irina flipped her hair over her shoulder. “Are you done?”
“Done what?”
“Throwing the temper tantrum. Are you done? Because I am thirsty. White wine is fine.”
I took it back. I wasn’t going to help her. I picked up my phone and called Dane.
He answered immediately. “Can’t talk.”
I ignored him. This couldn’t wait. I needed Irina out of here. “How long are you out of town? I have a friend who needs a place to crash.”
“Male or female?”
“The latter.”
“You don’t have female friends.”
I glanced at Irina. “You’re right.”
Pause. “Client?”
“Former.”
“Seventy-two hours.” He hung up.
I gave Irina a warning glare. “I’m going to shower then I’m driving you to a friend’s place. He’s out of town. You can stay there for three days then you’re on your own. And you’re not coming back here.”
“Whatever.” She flung her leg over the side of the couch and gave me a crotch shot.
Of course she wasn’t wearing underwear. “Don’t try it,” I clipped.
She spread her legs wider. “I try nothing.”
“I’m not fucking you, Irina.”
“Fine.” She reached between her legs and dragged a finger through her pussy. “I will take care of myself.”
Goddamn it. Familiarity, conditioning, my dick came to life. “That’ll be a first.”
“You want me,” she purred, licking her lips.
“No, I want you gone.” I walked to my bathroom and locked the door.
I rushed through a shower and shave and got dressed. By the time I walked back out to my living room, Irina was on my coffee table. Naked.
Her head hung off the edge like a porn star and I knew exactly what she was doing.
“I waited for you,” she said submissively.
My dick finally caught up to my head and got with the program. With Olivia’s curves on my mind, not one thing about Irina or what she was doing turned me on. I crossed my arms. “You’re not sucking my dick. I’m not fucking you. And I’m not getting you off. We’re done, Irina.”
“Please,” she begged.
“Get dressed.”
“But—”
“Now,” I barked.
She rolled to her stomach and put her ass up in the air. “I will be good.”
“Twenty seconds,” I warned. “Put your clothes on or you’re out on your ass.”
Slow, all attitude, she got up and pulled her dress over her head and stepped into her heels. “You are the ass.”
“I didn’t call you an ass.” Fuck, why was I bothering? “Get your shit.” I held the front door open.
As if she had al
l the time in the world, she hefted her purse and grabbed the handle of her suitcase, but she didn’t walk out. She stopped in front of me, grabbed my junk and licked my neck like a fucking dog.
“No one does it like me.” She squeezed my balls. “You will miss this.”
I refrained from reacting because I knew her. You fuck someone every week for three years, you learn shit. She liked to taunt and push. She wanted me worked up then she’d turn submissive as shit and take what she had coming. Until last week, it’d worked for me. Now I saw it for what it was. Irina was all about the game.
But Olivia wasn’t. And goddamn her ass was perfect.
I smiled at Irina because it was exactly what she didn’t want. “I wouldn’t be so sure.” I wasn’t gonna miss shit.
She left her suitcase at my feet and strutted to the elevator.
Letting her have her last indulgence, I carried her shit to my car. She was silent until I was pulling out of the underground parking.
“You met someone.” It wasn’t a question, it was an accusation.
“Don’t confuse the facts. We were done the second you wanted more.”
She crossed her arms over her small chest. “I ask for nothing.”
“You didn’t have to.” I couldn’t believe I used to find her attractive.
“So you think you see something that isn’t there then you end it? You are crazy.”
“We’re not a couple, Irina. Never were, never will be. You were my client, nothing more.”
She snorted out a huff. “You are different. Something has changed since last week.”
I’d fucked for free and I’d liked it. “Nothing’s different except you’re no longer on my schedule.”
“Then we will fuck without the money.”
I smirked. “Because you have none? Not happening. Not even if the Third was still paying for it. Move on, Irina.”
“I don’t want to.” She pouted like she always did when she didn’t get her way.
“You don’t have a choice.” Fuck, I almost wished Dane was home so he could take her off my hands, but I wouldn’t do that to him.
“I have choices. Many men want me.”
Christ, I was not in the mood for this bullshit. I knew how to shut her up but I wasn’t about to touch her. “Sit back and enjoy the ride.” I turned on the stereo and drove northwest.