by Sybil Bartel
Dane lived way the fuck out on a property surrounded by so much uncut land, you couldn’t see his fence unless you looked for it, let alone the turnoff for his driveway. I pulled onto the gravel and entered the code to his security gate. He’d given me all his codes, for his gate, his house, even the crazy-ass bunker he’d built a couple years ago. He’d said I’d need them in case, but he’d never said what that in case would entail.
I drove up and parked in front of what looked like a cracker house on steroids. Wood frame, steep-pitched metal roof, deep-shade porch on all sides, it looked old until you walked inside.
I cut the engine and a strong gust kicked at the car. “Come on.”
Irina turned away from the door. “We are in the middle of nowhere. I am not staying here.”
“You said you needed a place to crash? Here you go. You got three days.” I got out and grabbed her suitcase from the back. Leaves swirling around my feet, I took the porch steps two at a time.
She quickly followed. “You can’t leave me here. I can’t even call for help. The nearest neighbor is miles.”
I figured that was the point when Dane built the place. “You’ll survive.” She wouldn’t need shit. Dane kept the place stocked for the apocalypse.
She glanced up at the sky. “It looks like it is going to storm. What will I do if the power goes out?” She looked around with disgust. “What if a bear eats me?”
“No bears, just bobcats and deer.” And a whole shitload of snakes. “Stay inside at dusk and dawn when they come out to feed.” I held back a smile. “And I’m sure you’ll figure out how to light a candle if the power goes out.”
She stomped her foot but the wind ate up the noise. “Alex.”
Christ, she was annoying. “Get your ass up here or find somewhere else to crash.”
“You can’t abandon me here.” She crossed her arms like she had a choice in the matter.
“It’s all I’m offering.” I dropped her suitcase on the porch. “Take it or leave it but make up your mind quick because I’m booked tonight.” I glanced at my watch as a bolt of lightning lit up the sky. “You got thirty seconds to decide.”
She huffed but she gingerly walked up the stairs and peeked inside a window. “I can’t see anything.”
I entered the code into a keypad by the front door and the lock released, swinging the door open. “Have at it, princess.”
“I am not a princess.” She took one step inside the place.
No, she wasn’t. She was a pain in the ass. “Happy now?”
She glanced around then sighed as if she was put out. “Fine. I will stay here.”
I smirked. Dane’s place may not have had ocean views but it was as nice as my penthouse. Every finish was high quality, and while I didn’t go for the country look, he made it work. “The fridge is stocked, there’s satellite TV and bookshelves full of books. Don’t rummage through his shit and stay out of the master bedroom.”
She glanced at the keypad on the wall. “There’s an alarm.”
I showed her how to use it and gave her my code. Dane could change it once she was gone. I glanced at my watch again. “I gotta run. Call me only if it’s an emergency.” I turned to leave. “Remember, three days then you need to find another place.”
She caught my arm and gave it one last-ditch attempt. “You didn’t have to drop me as a client.”
I looked down at her pleading expression. Yeah, I really did. “Good-bye, Irina.”
The pounding in my head wouldn’t stop. Over and over like a cruel joke. I was intent on ignoring it until my name was thrown into the mix.
“Olivia!”
Pound, pound, pound.
My body wrecked from the sleeping pill, it took two more minutes to realize someone was at my front door. Groggy, I got up, threw on a robe and opened the door just to make the pounding stop.
I forced my eyes to focus. Alex. In a suit. “What are you doing here?”
His gaze made a quick pass over my body and he frowned. “What’s wrong?”
“Nothing.” Not wanting to stand another second, I pushed the door shut, but I failed to make sure he stayed on the other side. I was halfway back to my bed when he caught my arm.
“What’d you take?”
The anger in his tone was more than I could deal with. “Fuck you.”
“Right now, sweetness. Tell me what you’re on or you’re going in a cold shower.”
I was too tired to growl at him. “Sleeping pill.”
He helped me into my bed. “In the middle of the day?”
“Yeah.” My head hit the pillow and I sighed in relief. “Go away.”
“No.” He stripped out of his jacket and shirt.
If I hadn’t been half out of it from the damn sleeping pill, I was sure I would’ve been drooling over his abs. “What are you doing?”
“Taking care of you.” He stepped out of his shoes and undid his pants.
My brain struggled for a response as I stared at his chest. “Shirtless?”
The side of his mouth tipped up but there was no humor in his eyes. He tossed his pants over the same chair as the rest of his clothes. “It’s your lucky day.” He pulled the covers back and slid into my bed. A muscled arm went under my head and my back hit his chest as he pulled me in close.
I didn’t have lucky days. “I didn’t invite you.”
“We had a date.” His voice rumbled from his chest and landed around me like the comfort of a familiar blanket.
The sensation was so foreign and intoxicating that my eyes fluttered shut. “I’m not dating you.”
“Ah, ah, ah, you’re not going back to sleep.” He grasped my chin. “Eyes on me, sweetness.” He gave me a slight shake.
“No.” Damn it, I was tired. “Let go.”
Piercing blue eyes stared down at me. “Why’d you take a sleeping pill?”
“I couldn’t sleep.” Why did this feel so intimate? Why did he feel so intimate? His hold on me, his stare, he was making me feel closer to him than I’d ever felt to anyone.
His grip held firm. “Wrong answer. Try again.”
I didn’t know if it was because of the damn pill or because he was looking at me, really looking at me like he gave a damn, but my mouth opened and stupid words spilled out. “I was upset.”
“How upset?” he demanded.
At first I didn’t get it. Most people would’ve asked why I was upset. The question, his concern, for a moment, I let my guard down. “I was crying and Jesse gave me a sleeping pill.”
Every muscle in his body stiffened. “We’re going to come back to that asshole giving you drugs, but right now, tell me why you were crying.”
The truth tumbled out. “I let my brother die.”
His arms tightened their hold on me. “I’m sure it wasn’t your fault.”
“Yes, it was.” I choked down the lump in my throat. “The night he died? I should’ve been with him. He asked me to take him to the cemetery and I said no.”
“Cemetery?”
“My father’s grave. He liked to go there. And that night….” Oh God, this hurt. “I told him I wasn’t going to go with him.”
“Shit.” The curse came out on an exhale. “You’re blaming yourself.”
“If I’d gone with him, he’d still be alive.” It wasn’t blame. It was fact.
He grasped my chin and forced me to look at him. “You don’t know that.”
I pulled away and laid out my ugly truth like I had a right to dump my burden on him. “He took his own life that night and I wasn’t there for him like I should’ve been.”
He cupped the side of my face and held my gaze. “Listen to me. You may think you could have stopped what was coming, but that die was already cast.” He said it so resolutely, like he’d seen it too many times to count. “Even if you had been with him that night, there’s no telling what he would’ve done the next night or the first opportunity he had to be alone. He didn’t end his life because you weren’t there with him th
at night. He ended it because what he saw downrange changed him. We all lived it, but some of us never came to terms with it. It’s got nothing to do with what you did or didn’t do.”
Silent tears streamed down my face. “I should have helped him.”
Anger contorted his features. “Jesus Christ, who the fuck is your support system? I’m telling you, you’re not a licensed shrink with PTSD training. You don’t know how many ways that shit can manifest. You never had control over this and that asshole you call a best friend should have told you that.”
I looked away. “Regardless, he was my brother.”
His thumb swept across my cheek. “He may have been your brother before you sent him off to war but he came back a Marine. Like it or not, that changes a man. Some are cut out for it, others aren’t. That’s the harsh reality of the military and I’m not going to sugarcoat it for you. But what you’re doing, this guilt you’re harboring? It’s bullshit, sweetness.”
Part of me wanted to rebel against his brutal truth but the other part, the desperate part, it didn’t want to carry this guilt anymore. It wanted to reach for his words like a lifeline. But the guilt in even thinking he may be right, in even considering that I wasn’t in some way at fault for leaving my brother alone that night, it was suffocating. “I don’t want to talk about this.”
“Fair enough, but know this. We aren’t responsible for other people’s actions.”
“Mm-hmm.” I was afraid to look at him because I was afraid he was right. And if he was right, then that meant I couldn’t have stopped my brother. But that reality felt like a crushing blow I wasn’t prepared to deal with.
“Hey.” He threaded his hands into my hair and waited until I was looking at him. “I’m sorry about the fundraiser.”
I drew in a deep breath and tried to shove everything back down in the tight confines of my chest. “Is that why you bought all the paintings?”
He stared at me. “No.”
“Then why?”
A flash of emotion passed across his face then he untangled his hands from my hair and pulled me back to his chest. “Because I could.”
Alex and I may have been strangers, but I’d had two men in my life who’d come home from war a different person, and I knew the look in his eyes just then. And for some reason, it made me feel closer to him than I’d ever felt to anyone. We all had our demons but Alex didn’t make me feel like I needed to have all my broken pieces pushed together. He made me feel like they didn’t matter. That kind of acceptance was the only explanation for what I let bleed out of my mouth next. “I didn’t go with my brother to the cemetery that night because Jesse asked me to dinner.”
His only reaction was the slow stroke of his hand down my arm.
“I never thought I would say those words out loud, not to anyone,” I admitted. “Jesse had just gotten home and I hadn’t seen him in months. I didn’t want to go with my brother to my Dad’s grave just to watch him sit there in silence for hours. I was being selfish. I wanted to go with Jesse, so I went.” I choked on a sob. “That night, my brother aimed a gun on himself as he sat on my father’s grave.”
Alex’s lips coasted over my forehead as his arms held me with a strength I wasn’t used to. “Jesus Christ, sweetness.”
“I never told anyone about my brother and the cemetery, but I should have.”
“You’re telling me now.”
“I could have stopped him.” I should have been there for him.
I felt him shake his head. “He made his decision before that night.”
“But he’d reached out to me, he’d asked me to go with him.”
Alex turned me in his arms and gently, as if he were afraid of scaring me off, he brushed my hair from my face. “Did he carry a gun?”
“He had a concealed carry permit.” A lot of people in Florida had them.
The backs of his fingers on my cheek stilled and his gaze, unwavering and sure, anchored me. “He was planning it.”
If he’d been planning it, then maybe I could’ve stopped him. If it was a spur of moment decision made out of despair, then maybe I wouldn’t have made a difference. I didn’t know which was worse.
Alex cupped my face. “You can’t live your life feeling responsible. That’s a one-sided fight and the only person who’s gonna lose is you.”
I knew he was right but I rolled back over. It didn’t escape my notice that not only was this the first time I’d ever talked about this to anyone, but I wasn’t a hysterical sobbing mess. “I’m tired.” And I was, bone tired, but a thread of something that felt like healing settled in my heart, and it had everything to do with the strong arms that held me to his chest.
“Almost done talking.” Slowly, rhythmically, he stroked my arm again. “Tell me why that asshole gave you a sleeping pill.”
“He’s not an asshole.” My defense of him was instant and automatic, but as the words came, I wondered why Jesse had done what he’d done.
“If his answer to you being upset was to drug you, then he’s more than an asshole.”
“He’s tired of dealing with me.” But Jesse never really dealt with me, not like Alex just had. Jesse and I had never spoken about my brother before this morning. I’d lost it when I’d found out he was gone and I’d cried for a week straight. I still cried, but actually talking about my brother with Jesse? It didn’t happen.
“You call that a best friend?”
I didn’t know what I called Jesse anymore. It felt like I’d lost him too, but with Alex’s arms around me, it was hard to even be upset about it. “I’m done talking.”
Alex pushed me to my back and rolled. His knee moved my thighs apart and he settled between my legs. Boxing me in with his arms on either side of my head, he put just enough of his weight on me to make me feel safe. “You are not responsible for your brother’s death.”
A tear slid down my cheek.
“Say it,” he demanded.
More tears fell. “I’m not responsible.” I selfishly wished I’d had him in my life when my brother died.
Fierce determination sharpened his features as his strong hands gripped my hair. “Believe it.”
For the first time in two years, hope spread through my chest. “I want to stay right here… in your arms,” I whispered, exposing my heart.
His nostrils flared and, for one desperate moment, time stopped. His eyes, the color of the deepest part of the ocean, stared at me as if he saw every ugly truth I tried to hide from. His breaths measured, his heart beating against my chest, he didn’t say a word.
Regret ate at me and I closed my eyes. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean—”
His lips landed on mine.
Searing and consuming, he thrust his tongue into my mouth and kissed me.
But this wasn’t a kiss like last night. His hands pulled my hair, his cock thrust against my entrance, and he delved into my mouth like he needed me to breathe.
Desperate for what only he could give me, I kissed him back.
A growl ripped from his chest and he shoved his boxers down. Sucking my tongue into his mouth, he fisted himself and pushed inside me.
My shocked gasp only fed his dominance. His thumb stroked my clit and he sank to the hilt. With my legs spread wide, I grasped at his neck and arched into him. Tears dripped down my face and I let every single thing go except him.
His cock throbbed and my pussy pulsed. His tongue stroked and mine followed. His hands caressed and my nipples hardened. I dripped with a desire so overwhelming, I cried out for release.
Six feet four inches of solid muscle and seduction rode me hard. Huge hands wound into my hair and yanked. My head fell back and he rose up on his elbows. His body over mine, his lips a whisper of breath from mine, he thrust. His hips slammed into my clit and his hard length hit my G-spot.
Fire, light, heat, pain, I sucked in air through my teeth. Falling tendrils of pleasure licked up my body like a drug and I begged. “Again.”
Alex Vega didn’t fuck me.
<
br /> He consumed me.
Over and over, short thrusts pounded my body into submission. Every slam of his hips against my clit, every punishing stroke of his giant cock, he took me further. Desperate, not wanting this to ever end, I tried to hold on, but his body was a weapon and I never had a chance.
My muscles tensed, my feet curled and a thousand pounds of exquisite, painful release rushed me. I careened over the edge.
A roar ripped from his chest as he slammed home and his hot come pumped inside me.
Shaking, pulsing, I fought for air. Beads of sweat ran down my body as his seed dripped out of me. My eyes closed and my head fell back on the pillow, but I didn’t get a single heartbeat to relax.
Hot mouth and biting teeth closed over my nipple.
“Ahhh!” My back flew off the bed as my pussy clenched around his still buried cock. I dug my hands into his biceps as he bit my other nipple. I didn’t even have time to ask him what he was doing.
His cock still hard and deep inside me, he sat up, threw one of my legs over and flipped me to my stomach. Grabbing my hips, he brought me up on my knees and thrust so deep I felt him in my soul.
“Fuck, I love feeling my come in your tight cunt.”
“Alex.” Panting, spent, I wanted to say stop, but my quivering pussy and shaking thighs wanted more. “I can’t.” Oh my God. “Please.”
“Yes you can.” He pulled out but shoved two fingers in deep and rotated. “You’re going to come again, sweetness. Just like this.” His cock thrust back into me and a wet finger teased my ass. “On your knees, taking me so deep you forget everything except my name.”
I didn’t tell him I was already there. I was pushing back on his cock and surrendering every last one of my broken pieces as four letters bled from my lips and I begged for more. “Alex.”
His finger slipped inside my ass.
Exquisite pressure made me moan. “Yes, more.”
“You greedy little vixen.” He slapped my ass.
My muscles clamped down on him from the shock of the sting.
His voice turned to gravel. “You’re so fucking wet for me. I feel you pulsing. But you’re not gonna come yet.” His chest covered my back and he licked up my neck and bit my ear. “Oh no, sweetness.” He pulled almost all the way out and I whimpered. “You’re gonna let it build.” His heat abruptly left my back and he slapped the other side of my ass.