Heart Lies & Alibis

by Chase, Pepper

  I had had enough of this conversation for tonight. "I will tell you again, who he is to me is no longer your concern and I will not be discussing this matter with you any further tonight. Oh and I think your little girlfriend is getting pretty anxious downstairs. She looked terrified to be left alone without you to tell her what to do. I suggest you hurry up so you can get her home soon. You don't want her late for curfew." The jab was meant to annoy him and I almost smiled seeing it had done its job well.

  But in an instant I also felt sad. My shoulders slumped in resignation to the situation we were in. How had we become these people, the kind who could say such hateful and mean things to a person they had shared a life with for over a decade? I didn't hate Thad, not really, and I needed to put on my big girl panties and let this moment go. I needed to stop letting him hurt me. It was time to move on.

  I started again, this time with less attitude. "Thad, I don't want to fight with you. We are no longer responsible for each other and soon won't have to be in the other's life at all. It isn't any of your business, but yes, Declan and I have plans. Let's leave it at that and try to make this moment as civil as possible so we can both get on with our evening." I watched as my words sunk in and for a brief moment, I could see the man I had fallen in love with when his shoulders slumped a bit and he nodded, his face softening and losing some of the anger and sadness that had filled it for so long.

  But that man quickly vanished and was replaced by the asshole who I had come to despise. "His name is Declan? You can't be serious." He smirked. "And I heard his Irish accent. So fitting. I remember you always had a thing for guys like that before you met me. And I suppose he works in a bar too?"

  In spite of my best efforts I felt my cheeks flame at his accurate assessment. I looked away in annoyance. Thad still knew me well and I hated him for it in that moment.

  He sucked in his breath, a cross between surprise and laughter filling his voice when he spoke. "Oh my god, he does. Wow Reagan. I see you are already returning to the same slutty behavior you were engaging in when I met you back in law school. I can't believe you are already giving it up to first thug you met at the pub. Way to go. You should be proud at how far your life has come." I turned a glare on him but didn't speak right away. He simply shook his head, a look of disgust filling his face.

  Thad was right about a few things he said. I did have a fairly wild past and had made some less than stellar choices back in the day but who the fuck was he to call me on my life choices when he had cheated on me first? And he had the balls to call me a slut on top of everything else? Well, what the hell did that make him? I swallowed down my rage to keep myself from screaming.

  Instead, I pushed off the wall and stalked toward him, pointing my finger in his face. "Get the fuck out of my house and don't you dare come back or I promise you will regret it. You have no right to judge me or comment on my life or have any say in what I do ever again. We will deal with the rest of this shit through our lawyers. I want you to leave, now, or I will call the police and have you removed." My breath came in jagged burst and my fingers hurt from the clench of my fists. It took all my restraint to keep from physically pushing him out of the door.

  He slammed his suitcase closed, ripping it off the bed, before stomping towards me. "I'll leave now Reagan as you have asked but you make sure you have a real good time fucking the local trash for me. Okay?" he hissed as he passed me in the doorway. I slammed my back against the wall trying to bring my temper under control when I heard him laugh as I headed down the stairs and something in me broke.

  He had barely reached the last step of the staircase when I snatched the crystal vase off my dresser and threw it at the wall above his head, He ducked as the shards of glass flew about his head and all over the stairs around him. Amberly screamed and cowered by the door. Declan looked up at me, his face a mask of concern more than anything else. I pointed my finger at Thad again, my voice two octaves two high when I screamed at him. "Next time, I won't miss asshole. Now get the hell out of my house." My breathing was ragged and my body trembled with rage as I glared at him.

  He straightened up, flicking off the bits of vase that clung to his jacket before continuing to walk to the door. When he reached the threshold, he stopped and turned to look back up at me his face twisted in distaste. "Always the class act aren't you Reagan. I can't say I will miss your tawdry outbursts or any of the other trashy behaviors you liked to display. Have a nice evening with your new boy toy." Mother Fucker never knew when to shut up.

  In a fury I reached for something else to throw at the bastard but was relieved to see Declan helping Thad to the door at that exact moment. Like the trained bouncer he was, Declan had Thad outside before Thad even knew what was happening. Amberly scurried after him without a word. When my front door slammed shut behind them I slid to a seat on the stairs and dropped my head in my hands. This would certainly go down in history for the worst start to a date ever. I had behaved like a crazy woman and left quite an impression on Declan. I'm sure he had to be wondering what he had gotten himself into by pursuing a relationship with me right about now. How had my life become this sad version of a bad soap opera and what was I going to do to fix it?

  Chapter 5

  The familiar creak of the bottom step brought my gaze from the floor to Declan. I watched as he climbed the stairs towards me without a word. He held his hands up in mock surrender as he got closer, which brought a smile to my face. He hadn't run the other direction when my crazy had surfaced. That was a good sign. But what the hell must he be thinking right now after my explosive display of anger?

  "I come in peace. Are you armed with any more vases?" He teased, his smile melting the icy hate that had started to choke my heart.

  I gave him another tired smile in return. "Yeah. You better watch out. See what happens when an old woman gets pissed off?"

  He knelt on the step in front of me, taking one of my hands in his and using the other hand to place under my chin gently bringing my head up until our eyes met again. "First of all, I thought we established last night, you are not an old lady and secondly, and please forgive me if this is out of line, but that guy's an asshole and should be glad you didn't do more damage to him." He winked.

  I laughed and shook my head. This guy really was pretty awesome. "Thanks. I needed to hear that." I sighed and stood up. "Well, let's not let him ruin our night. Are you ready to go out?" I asked, plastering a bigger smile on my face that I didn't feel. Thad had ruined yet another thing in my life, the son of a bitch, but I was determined to have my first real date with Declan no matter what.. In all honesty, though, the last thing I wanted to do was go out and be social. I felt broken and tired. It had been a hell of a start to my 40th year of life, that was for sure, and I wasn't sure how much more I could take.

  Declan was proving to be quite the mind reader. He looked at me, cocking his head to the side he asked "How about we stay in after all? I'm a pretty good cook. I could make dinner, we could talk, and do whatever else seems like a good idea tonight." He nuzzled my neck while his fingers brushed my breast and my nipple sprang to attention. I knew in that moment what I thought was a good idea for tonight and it involved him, naked in my bed, as fast as I could make it happen.

  I let my eyes close briefly as I enjoyed the mere touch of his skin on mine before answering. "I think I could be convinced to stay in. I'm not sure what's in the house for food, though, but we can probably find something."

  Declan made it clear his plans for that moment had nothing to do with food. He had moved to kissing my neck, his hands sliding over my ass as he pressed his body into mine. I took his hand and started down the hall towards the master bedroom. He guided me down the hall to the guest room instead. I looked at him in question when we reached the door. He leaned in and whispered "Less ghosts in here I think." And I had to agree.

  Deep night had fallen when we made our way back downstairs, starving, but satisfied. Declan had only pulled on his jeans and I wore his shir
t and not much else. We stepped around the broken glass of the shattered vase and went to the kitchen.

  "Please. Let me cook for you. Sit." He said pointing to a bar stool that flanked my kitchen island. "Wine?" He asked gesturing for its location.

  I took a seat as directed. "Refrigerator under the island for white. Red is in the rack above."

  He chose a nice pinot noir and expertly opened and poured two glasses before setting a glass in front of me. He turned and began surveying the meager supplies my kitchen offered. Somehow he found the fixings for a beautiful pasta and shrimp dish and had dinner on the table in record time. We ate and made small talk and I found I really enjoyed just listening to his voice as we got to know one another.

  I was looking at him, shirtless and gorgeous in my kitchen, when his tattoos caught my attention. I reached out, tracing a finger along the tattoo over his left arm, the one I had been fascinated by the night before in the bar. "This is really beautiful Declan. What does it mean?"

  He glanced at the tattoo, watching my finger continue its lazy trail across it. His face looked far away suddenly, as if he were lost in a long ago memory. "It was something my mom used to say all the time. Kinda her life mantra. This one is for her too." He indicated, pointing to the Celtic cross above his heart that had the name Fiona scrolled across it. His eyes darkened with emotion. The pain of losing his mom still seemed so fresh and I knew that feeling all too well. I nodded in understanding and smiled at him but didn't ask any more questions.

  After we finished dinner, Declan insisted on cleaning up the broken vase for me while I went upstairs to shower. I was pleasantly surprised when a bit later he joined me. I liked the way we were already comfortable with each other. He washed my hair and I washed his body and then we dried off and I slipped into a robe. He slung a towel around his hips, and the site of him wet and glistening nearly made me jump him in the bathroom. Instead, we found our way to the balcony off the master bedroom and sat in comfortable silence, drinking more wine, beneath the moon.

  Eventually I broke the silence with a question. I was dying to know everything I could about him but he had been less than forthcoming with information so far. "Why don't tell me some things about yourself Mr. ...... Oh my god." The realization slapped me in the face like a cold towel. I smacked my hand against my forehead, looking at him between my fingers, as my cheeks blazed with embarrassment. "I just realized I don't even know your last name. I've slept with you twice and didn't bother to get that small bit of information. What kind of slut am I?"

  He laughed and laughed before he responded. "The kind I like." His face filled with a naughty grin. "But for the record, you aren't a slut at all but rather a woman who knew what she wanted and went after it."

  I groaned and covered my face with my hands.

  He laughed again. "It's O'Shea. My last name is O'Shea. Feel better now?" He teased.

  "No. But it's too late to go back an un-sleep with you so why don't you tell me some other things about yourself, Mr. O'Shea and I can drown my humiliation in another glass of wine." I reached for the bottle and poured us each another glass.

  "What exactly do you want to know, Mrs. McCallister?" I raised an eyebrow at his use of my married name but one look at his face told me he was just trying to give me a hard time.

  "Let's start simple," I teased dropping into lawyer mode, "Where are you from? Are your parents alive? Do you have siblings? Did you go to college? Do you always pick up women who are old enough to be your mother?" He cut her an annoyed look at the last part.

  "Wow Councilor. Let's see if I can answer everything. Ummm... I am originally from Ireland but we moved to Philadelphia when I was ten, which is how I kept the accent. My dad was originally from the States but my mom was Irish which means I have dual citizenship." He paused to take a drink of wine and for a moment I thought he was trying to think of how to answer the other questions.

  "My parents are both dead. Mom had breast cancer and died when I was a teenager. And Dad died a few years ago. No siblings and no other real family. I have been on my own pretty much since I turned 18 and joined the Ar..Air Force. Instead of going to college." The lawyer in me was trained to know when someone was making up a story and for some reason, my warning bells were going off listening to his answers. I noticed Declan hesitated when he said he lived in Philadelphia as if he had to remind himself what city to name and just now he had started to say Army and then changed it to Air Force. Was he lying or just nervous? What the hell did was he hiding?

  The only thing I knew for sure was the truth was that his mom was dead – his eyes looked pained when mentioned it this time just like they had before. His father's death, on the other hand, was a different story. A story he didn't want to share by the limited details he offered. I filed away the information I had learned for later. I wanted to see what else he was hiding before I started digging deeper.

  Maybe a less personal approach would help him open up. "And picking up older women? Is that part of your regular pattern of behavior too because you seem to have a talent for it."

  His wicked smile made me think he must have done his fair share of being a ladies man over the years but the flash of pain that crossed his eyes said something had changed in his life to make him different. "Let's just say I like to keep my options open but experience has taught me women of a certain age have always had a better sense of who they are and what they like. And I have learned some very useful things from them, wouldn't you agree?" He stood up and led me inside to the bed so he could show me exactly what he had learned and I appreciated every lesson.

  My divorce attorney and I were meeting at 11:00am a few days later to discuss the end of my marriage. The idea both repulsed and excited me and the conflicting emotions pretty much summed up the past few days of my life. I felt torn in half, with one part of me wondering how my marriage had fallen apart and the other wanting to believe a future with Declan was possible. I knew I was glad to be almost done with Thad – with the lies, the affairs (I suspected there were many) and with the despicable person he had become but the end of our life together was a bitter pill to swallow.

  And I wanted the freedom to explore whatever was developing between Declan and I. Just thinking about him made me smile and blush, as X-rated images of our time together over the past few days tumbled through my mind. After the meeting, I was set to meet Declan for lunch. In the past four days we had been together as much as possible and being in my house this morning suddenly felt strange without him around. I was more than a bit surprised and also a little concerned at the speed of which our relationship had grown but I found the ride exciting. He was everything I thought I never wanted in my life again and it scared the crap out of me. I pushed everything aside for now because I needed all of my attention focused on the task at hand – bringing an end to my marriage.

  My lawyer happened to be a good friend of mine, as well as one of the best divorce attorneys in Houston, and I was glad she was on my side. Astrid Frost was known for making husbands feel the full consequences of their indiscretions and had been part of most of the big divorce cases our town had seen over the last decade. I didn't want anything from Thad except what was rightfully mine. The rest he could shove up his ass for all I cared.

  I hurried inside the modern office building and gave the security guard my name. He indicated the elevator on the left and I took it to the 20th floor where Astrid's small but beautifully appointed office waited. I paused at the door, taking a deep breath before welcomed I stepped inside to close a significant chapter of my life.

  As betrayed as I felt by Thad and as anxious as I was to get the divorce started and finalized, this was still a bittersweet moment. I didn't have any family to speak of and besides Grace and her family, Thad had been my world for over a decade. But then I thought of Declan again and smiled. He had changed everything in the past few days, making the present seem more bearable and a happy future suddenly possible. I squared my shoulders and marched into the office ready
to be rid of Thaddeus McCallister forever.

  Astrid stood as her assistant showed me in to her inner office. She looked every bit the successful lawyer with a well cut bob hairstyle, simple but well-tailored black pencil skirt and gray silk blouse, simple makeup and accessories and 3-inch heels in patent leather. Astrid and I had known each other professionally for many years and socialized on occasion. I appreciated her dry sense of humor and take no prisoners attitude and we shared a love of the law we had discussed on a few occasions. I found her liberal use of profanity and colorful yet crude expressions particularly refreshing and in great contrast to her outward buttoned up appearance. It made meetings with Astrid far more entertaining than with the average attorney.

  She stood up as I walked in, removing the stylish glasses she wore when reading and setting them on her desk. Her assistant closed the door behind me. Astrid dispensed with any pleasantries when she spoke "So I heard the ass-hat found some young tits and ass to replace you with. Bastard." Her face twisted in disgust.

  I nodded with a deep sigh. "Hello Astrid. And yes. That about sums things up. But thanks for being so subtle about it."

  Sitting down she waved me into a chair across from her as she returned the glasses to her face. "You know me, Reagan. No time for the niceties, especially not when it comes to talking about men who can't keep their old balls to themselves." Astrid face twisted in disgust again. "Best way to deal with it is to figure out how we can nail his ass to the wall. Infidelity is still pretty frowned upon in the Lone Star State so we have a good shot of getting everything, including the firm." She steepled her fingers together and looked across at me, a impish smile almost filling her face. Her reputation as a ball buster was well earned and I was glad I to be her client and not on the receiving end of her wrath.