Beautiful Broken Promises

by Kimberly Lauren

  For years, Audrey had been the closest thing I had to... anything. To family. To friends. I had parents, but I’d pretty much pushed them away. Audrey had helped me wake up every day and continue living.

  When I escaped to California four years ago, I was a man on a mission, bound and determined to find the girl I loved. I’d decided to go back to college, so I wasn’t being a complete slacker. I’d already earned my bachelor’s degree in criminal justice, the one I got immediately after high school, finishing it within three years. But when I moved to California, I switched things up and went for a second bachelor’s in Accounting. I realized that those two degrees were miles apart, but who says you can’t change your mind?

  I ran into little Audrey in our college community center, looking for a roommate. She was surprisingly in the same program as I was, and I just so happened to have a spare room. She was beyond damaged and because I wasn’t much better off, we were two peas in a pod.

  Every day I told myself that I let her move in because she looked so wounded… that she needed my comfort. I told myself that I was doing a good deed by helping her. In the end, I realized she was actually helping me. I thought I was protecting her, but she was silently doing the same for me. Together, we took life a day at a time and protected one another from drowning.

  Last year, I turned twenty-eight and we walked across the stage together with our master’s degrees. I knew I had her to thank for helping me get there as well.

  I knew everything about her. I knew that her biggest fear was being alone. I knew that her hair got outrageously frizzy with even a small amount of humidity. I knew that her friends were everything to her because the family she left behind all those years ago meant nothing to her—at least she tried to make me think they meant nothing. I knew that she loved to sneak peanut butter in the middle of the night and that she had to keep two cups of water by her bedside because she always woke up thirsty. And I knew she was in love with Jace Riley the very first time she spoke about him, even if it was to tell me how much she hated him.

  I could only hope the next time I fell in love I would know the girl half as well as I knew Audrey. She was my sister, maybe not by blood, but in every way it counted. She was my best friend and I knew I wouldn’t be able to sleep until I’d made amends with her, no matter how small the divide was between us.

  Audrey knew me better than anyone, but she didn’t know everything. I’ve kept some of my biggest secrets from her and if she were to ever find out, it would kill her. I understood her heart though. If she knew all of my secrets, she wouldn’t rest until everything was resolved. And that was not her job—it wasn’t her burden to take on. It was mine. I had made those promises, and I was doing everything in my power to make things right.

  “Doll, you have to know how sorry I am. I realize how tired you’ve been lately with a newborn. I’m sorry a thousand times over. Good news is I’ll be out of your hair soon. My landlord said that the house should be done any day now and I need to head out of town tonight, so you and Jace will be Lane-free in a matter of hours.”

  “No!” she cried and then shifted so we were facing one another. “You can stay here, please don’t leave. I hate when you go out-of-town… you never come back happy.” Tears began to well up in her eyes and I had to remind myself Audrey was on hormone overload--every little thing could bring on the waterworks. Tread lightly, buddy.

  Audrey was used to my out-of-town trips, as I’ve been taking them since she met me. I never came back happy because I never got the result I was hoping for, which was having her back in my arms. Going on those trips was the only thing that made me feel as if I were actually getting closer to her.

  “Trust me, you could do without me for a few days. I think Jace will like having his girls all to himself again,” I teased her. The mention of Jace brought a small smile to her face, but it was fleeting. I had a house in town that I rented, but while my landlord had been fixing a burst pipe, I’d been hopping between three of my buddies’ homes.

  “I wish you would just stay here.”

  “Doll, half of my job involves travel, so there will always be times that I have to go. Don’t forget your husband is my boss. It’s his orders. Besides, we can’t all afford big estates on our own piece of land.” I may have omitted that this trip was not on her husband’s orders.

  She rolled her eyes. “Why would you bring a girl home? You have never, and I mean never, done that. And why her? Is there something special about her?” she asked, grimacing.

  “I just learned her name when Jace barged in the room. Trust me, doll, it wasn’t the girl. I messed up. I drank too much and she gave me a ride home. Before I knew it, she was following me up the stairs and... well...”

  “Yeah, I don’t need to know the rest,” she replied in a flat tone. Then she sighed deeply, and I could sense her heavy thoughts.

  “Spit it out...” I coaxed.

  “I just hate...”

  “Come on, I won’t leave until you tell me and it might get weird when your husband comes back to bed.”

  “I hate that Jace saw her body. It was so perfect. Perfect breasts. Perfect ass. Not a stretch mark on her. While I’m... well, I can’t even talk about it.”

  My mouth dropped open and I had no words. I knew she wouldn’t be happy seeing a trampy bar girl parade around her house, but I never thought she would compare herself. Maybe she forgot that she just had a baby. Or maybe she forgot how her husband worshipped the ground she walked on. The idea that Jace would give even a second thought to Gemma made me laugh hard.

  “Don’t laugh! This is serious,” she scolded.

  “Shit, I’m sorry. I tried to hold it in.” I continued to laugh. “Man, I wish Jace had heard you say that.”

  “I don’t,” she groaned.

  “Too bad, babe. I could have heard that ridiculous comment on the other side of the house,” Jace interrupted.

  Audrey’s body locked up underneath the covers at the sound of her husband’s voice. I quickly leaned in so only she could hear. “I saw his face when he first saw her and if I had seen anything other than annoyance, you know I would have knocked his lights out. Trust me, the way he looks at you, even with bags under your eyes, messy hair, stretch marks, and... ouch!” I yelped when she pinched the shit out of my stomach. “You said it first!”

  “That doesn’t mean you get to list it all!” she whisper-shouted back.

  “Fine, fine. But there is no comparison. He looks at you like you’re his whole world and his only reason to breathe. A random topless girl is not going to pull his attention. Besides, so what if he looks at naked tits? The day he stops looking at tits is the day you should start worrying.” She laughed quietly but gave me one more hard pinch under the covers. “Cut that shit out, Audrey!” I chuckled.

  “Alright, play time’s over. Outta my bed and hands off my girl, Parker,” Jace grumbled while climbing in on the opposite side of Audrey. He immediately pulled her across the bed toward him in his typical possessive fashion.

  I began to climb out from under the covers and said, “This kind of feels like that one time we almost slept together, doll. Remember during your freshman year?” I could barely contain my cheesy-ass grin because I couldn’t help but fuck with Jace on a daily basis.

  “Lane, he doesn’t fall for your terrible lies anymore. Go to bed,” Audrey giggled. And that was all I needed to feel better. If she was happy, we were all happy.

  Jace glared at me on my way out but didn’t say anything. As soon as I hit the hallway, I heard him softly ask her, “That didn’t really happen, did it?”

  I silently chuckled, so I wouldn’t wake up the baby again. It never failed with that guy—he was way too easy to rile up. Right before I stepped into my room, Jace jogged down the hall toward me.

  “It was a joke, dude. I couldn’t resist.”

  “Nah,” he whispered. “I know that. It’s just that she told me you’re heading out of town again?”

  I sobered and told h
im, “Yeah, I got a call a little while ago. I have to go.”

  “What about the Nolan job?”

  Jace and Jaxon Riley were twin brothers who came into a lot of money when their father passed away. Immediately after they graduated college in California, they took ownership of his security company, The Riley Group. Their best friend, Cole, had family money as well so all three of them and their wives built houses on a big plot of land here in Texas, which is where they are originally from.

  After graduation, Jace and Jax hired Cole and me to join them in Dallas, and we all left the Golden State behind. It was a hard choice, considering my original reasons for being there in the first place. But I couldn’t imagine being away from Audrey and I knew I would make decent money and be able to make my random trips whenever I was called.

  My job title was a little more unconventional compared to the others. I oversaw a lot of the financing, because that’s what I was good at and I had recently acquired Texas CPA license. But I also flew out to meet potential clients that were considering using The Riley Group for security purposes when they came to Dallas. Most of our customers lately had been high-profile, so they expected a face-to-face consultation before they trusted us to safeguard them. I couldn’t seem to stay in one place for too long, and didn’t have anyone to come home to, so taking on that responsibility just made sense.

  “I’ll hand the Nolan case off to the rookie,” I answered his question.

  “You’re going to trust Ethan with a quarter-of-a-million-dollar job?”

  “We gotta loosen the reins at some point. I’ll be in touch with him throughout the entire deal. Look, I have to go. He’s going to be there.” I tried to hide the pleading in my voice.

  Jace’s type-A personality required him to keep a close eye on his employees, and even more so on his family. Audrey was like my sister, so when he married her he gained a brother at the same time. He didn’t spy on me, but he started asking all the right questions and one day I had to break down and spill before I lost my job. He knew everything now. It wasn’t something I enjoyed keeping from Audrey, but Jace had agreed with me that she didn’t need that stress put upon her, especially now with the baby.

  His voice turned stoic and he asked, “You’re sure he’ll be there?”

  “As sure as I can be. Charlie got me a spot in the ring and says he’ll be there.”

  “Where?” he whispered.

  “Tijuana. The usual.”

  “Let me transfer some money over for you,” he stated nonchalantly.

  “No, seriously I’m good. I can take care of this myself.”

  “I’m sure you can. But I also know that these trips come close to wiping you out. You don’t want to be broke once you actually get her back, do you?”

  I knew that this was why Audrey fell for Jace. He was completely selfless and would help any of his friends or family, even to the point of hurting himself. I could always count on him when I was in a bind, regardless if I’d asked for help or not.

  “I’ll pay you back. With interest,” I replied brusquely.

  “You just make sure Ethan gets Nolan to sign on the dotted line and that’ll be payback enough,” he said with a grin. He reached his hand out so I could shake it but then promptly pulled me in and we swiftly patted backs.

  “Thanks, man.”

  Before he made it to his room, he turned and said, “Bring her back here, okay? I want to meet her.”

  I nodded but didn’t reply. I tried to never go into these trips with my hopes up anymore. Years of returning home empty-handed had taught me that, in order to guard my heart, I always had to expect the worst.

  - TWO -

  Bouncing on my toes, Mateo continued to wrap my hands for me. The basement we were standing in was dark and smelled of piss and mold. A single rusting light dangled above us, allowing Mateo just enough visibility to get his job done.

  All I wanted was to get this over with. I hated coming to these things. Training in a well-lit gym where I knew I wouldn’t catch hepatitis was fun. Fighting in these sketchy underground matches fucking blew and made my skin crawl.

  “Have you seen him yet?” I asked.

  “I saw two of his guys. He’s here,” Mateo responded under his breath.

  “I don’t think I’ve been training enough lately. Shit, Teo...” I rambled nervously.

  “You look pretty fucking cut. More so than the last time I saw you, so you must be doing something right.” He nudged my right hand down and pulled up my left to begin wrapping it.

  I watched as he slipped the loop around my thumb and wound the red material over my wrist, between each finger, over my knuckles in a dizzying pattern, and finished with a final pull over my wrist.

  “How’s the support in your thumbs?” he asked.

  I shook out my hands and flexed my fingers, feeling everything out. I allowed the blood to flow through each appendage before I cut it off swiftly with a tight fist and then opened them again. Sweat beaded in the small area between my shoulder blades and I could feel a single drop running down the center of my spine toward the black shorts I was wearing.

  “Feels good, man.”

  “Okay, just remember you’re not here for the same reason as these other guys,” Mateo began the same speech he’d given to me time and time again. “You don’t need to fight to the death. If you’re injured, just go down. Winning doesn’t matter. You just need to get into the ring once so we can get into the after-party.” He took my hands and checked his wrapping job one more time. “But... if you win, we do get bottle service, so it wouldn’t hurt if you tried a little bit,” he smarted off. I laughed despite the stress and jabbed his shoulder lightly.

  I looked forward to the day when I wouldn’t have to come to these fights anymore. I enjoyed boxing, don’t get me wrong. The sport was exhilarating and the best workout I’ve come across so far, but I hated these underground fights. I hated the people and all of the dealing and betting that they did on the side of the ring. Conniving bastards. I hated being associated with them for even for a night. What’s worse, the fights were only a distraction from the real criminal undertakings they had going on.

  “Don’t try to pull any new fancy techniques. Stick to what you’re good at,” Mateo continued as we walked down the long, filthy hallway. The tile was cold and the walls were peeling down to the bare wood behind it. The moldy smell was nauseating. “Most of these guys are brawlers and they lack the finesse you’ve been trained to have. You gotta lose some of that in the ring or they’ll be suspicious. Throw all of your power and energy into your hits. Don’t get too caught up in mastering your footwork.”

  The loud roar of the crowd began to invade our ears and it became harder and harder to hear Mateo’s counsel. Without thought, I commenced bouncing again. My blood was pumping, the crowd starting to hype me up. I was the underdog—the one who popped in and out of these events but never stuck around long enough to take it all. They knew me, but they didn’t know me. I intrigued them, and they never knew whether to cheer me on or boo me out of the ring.

  As we entered the large, open warehouse, women grazed their fingers across my bare skin. Some tried to reach up and grasp my hair, while others just openly winked at me. My stomach churned because these were the absolute last kind of people I wanted to be around.

  Business as usual, Mateo continued with his spiel, moving closer to my ear so I could hear him. “You’re up against Barrera tonight. Get his defense down and then throw a right uppercut and finish him with your deadly left hook. He won’t be able to withstand it, his chin is too weak.”

  Mateo knew most of the fighters down here. He studied them at every fight, but just like me, he wasn’t here for the shady dealings. He used to be on the Mexican Police Force, but once he realized the extent of the crime and corruption, he got out. I’ve always had a feeling he’s some kind of undercover agent, but he’s assured me that he’s only here to help people like me. Regardless, I’d never be able to repay him for everything he�
��s done.

  Someone shouted to Mateo in Spanish and he hollered back, “Sí, estamos listos!” When he turned back around, he ran a check over me for the thousandth time. “You’re ready, yes?” I nodded and he tapped the back of my head toward our corner.

  Right before I straddled the ropes to step into the ring, he grabbed my arm and pulled me down to hear his tight, whispered words. “If anything goes down, you meet me at my car. It’s parked in the southeast corner of the building. Get there, mijo. It won’t do her any good if you’re six feet under.” He threw in that last line because he knew it would sink in and hook me.

  I was doing it for her. I tried so damn hard to picture her in my head for motivation… the color of her hair, the deep blue of her eyes, or how her skin shone like porcelain. I pulled out the tattered picture of her that I carried around everywhere I went. The edges were torn, some areas were peeling up, and it was way too small, but it was all I had. Every day I worried that it had been too many years and she wouldn’t look anything like the picture anymore. I shoved it back into the pocket of my shorts and let my fingers graze across the slick surface before I had to force myself to let it go.

  I knocked my face around to get myself back in the moment. If I started zoning out now, I would never make it two seconds in the ring with Barrera. I quickly remembered what I came here for and began to scan the crowd, looking for the one in the suit—the richest bastard here. He wasn’t hard to spot and I clenched my fist when my eyes found him and his whole crew. He threw his head back and laughed boisterously at something one of his disgusting lackeys said, as if he didn’t have a care in the world. Not this time. You won’t get the slip on me this time, Flores.

  I didn’t keep up with the ins and outs of the underground world –that was usually Charlie or Mateo’s job, and they just told me where to be and when. Therefore, I was surprised to see Barrera step up to Flores and the two looked deep in conversation before Flores patted the back of his head and nodded toward the ring. So Barrera belonged to Flores, huh? Well now, the fight just got a little more interesting.