We were trying to catch snowflakes on our tongues and I laughed so hard I fell off the bench. Jeremy took my hand and pulled me up and we kissed.
“I have something I want to tell you,” I said. “But I’m not sure I should.”
His dark eyes swallowed mine. “Just tell me.”
“I… I think I love you.”
Jeremy picked me off the ground and twirled me around and found my lips. “I love you, too, Tess. But I was afraid of saying it. I didn’t want to chase you away. I never felt about a girl the way I feel about you.”
That moment, with the snow falling, was one of the happiest moments of my life. Before Jeremy left for break he stopped by my dorm room to give me a present. It was a snow globe.
“Just shake it when you want to remember I love you.”
***
The light turned green. I was lost in my thoughts when the driver behind me laid on his horn. I wondered where that snow globe was. I hadn’t seen it in years. Maybe it had been tossed out. Or broken.
Chapter 7
Jeremy
I was watching football when I heard the garage door go up. I took a deep breath. Tess was home. I turned off the TV and went to wait for her in the kitchen.
She walked in the door and saw me standing by the counter. “We need to talk. And you need to listen.”
I nodded. “I’m sorry about last night. Guess I drank more than I thought.”
“Did you apologize to Kris and Keith?”
“I stopped by their house on the way home.”
“And?”
“And Kris seemed more pissed at Keith for sharing such personal information.”
“I can’t blame her,” Tess said.
I followed Tess into the family room. She sat on the leather couch and I sat on the recliner across from her.
“What’s happening with us, Tess? I’m not happy. You’re not happy. I feel like we’ve become more like roommates than lovers. Even when we have sex—and it’s been awhile—it’s feels like you’re doing me a favor, that you’re really not into it.”
Tess wrung her hands. “I guess I’m not. I’ve been so angry at you for not understanding me.”
I inched forward on the recliner. “I said you could get a job if that’s what you really wanted to do.”
Tess got louder and there was a definite sharpness in her tone. “I don’t need your permission to get a job or do anything else for that matter. What I want and need is your support.”
“Okay. Then I support you.”
Tess sighed. “But do you support me because you want to get laid or do you support me because you understand how I feel?”
“Getting laid isn’t a bad reason,” I said, hoping to get her to loosen up a bit.
“Well, at least you’re being honest.”
“Look, Tess. I can’t pretend. I want to be supportive. Do I understand how you feel? Why you want to work outside the home? No, I don’t. I’m sorry. I just don’t understand that. But if that’s what you want, if it will make you happy, I’m willing to be supportive and do whatever it is I need to do. I don’t want to lose you.”
“It’s not going to be easy,” Tess said. “There’ll have to be changes. If I work, it means you need to help out with things at home.”
“Or we find someone to help you,” I said. “Like a cleaning lady. What type of work do you want to do anyway?”
***
Tess
The fact Jeremy was asking me about the type of work I was looking for threw me a bit. The truth was I wasn’t exactly sure. All I knew is I needed to do something for me. I wasn’t necessarily looking for a full-time job. I wasn’t opposed to it either. I wanted to see what was out there.
“I’m not a hundred percent sure. For starters, I might start teaching cycle classes at the gym. I’ve looked into the certification process and I think I could do it.”
Jeremy nodded. “That’s like a few hours a week, right?”
“I’d probably start teaching three classes a week. So yeah, about three hours. And Yorktown Press is also looking for an art director for its new glossy women’s magazine. They haven’t formally advertised, but Sue told me about it. Chloe takes gymnastics with the owner’s daughter. I might check into that.”
“That sounds promising.”
“Yeah, we’ll see.”
I couldn’t believe how normal our conversation was. I had expected it to be peppered with verbal jabs, a few chosen curse words and maybe even a thrown thing or two. But it was reasonably lame in those regards and I felt myself melting as I caught glimpses of the man I had fallen in love with. Still, I wasn’t ready to go to bed with him. I didn’t want to feel like he was giving in just so he could get something even if that wasn’t the case. And I instinctively knew he’d wait for me to make the first move. Even if he wanted it, he’d wait for me to lead the way. And I was determined to hold out to see if he kept his end of the bargain.
“Are you hungry?”
Jeremy smiled. “Very. Have something in mind?”
“Remember that place we used to go to when we were just starting out?”
“You mean the dump with the cheap hamburgers and skinny fries?”
I nodded. “It might have been a dump, but it did have the best fries. And the hamburgers were made in some kind of sauce.”
“I think it’s still open,” Jeremy said.
“Can we go there?”
“Whatever you want,” said Jeremy, standing up. He opened his arms. “Can I hug you?”
I walked over to him and he wrapped his arms around me and I buried my head into his chest.
He kissed the top of my head. “I’m really going to try, Tess. I promise.”
***
Jeremy
Tess and I sat in the corner booth we used to sit in back in the day. “This place hasn’t changed much,” I said.
Tess rolled her eyes. “I don’t think it’s changed at all.” She looked down at the seat. “The cigarette burn mark is still there.”
“You remember the burn mark?”
She nodded. “Yeah. If you look to the right, you’ll probably see a tear in the vinyl seat that’s been patched with silver duct tape.”
I looked and shook my head. “Damn. You’re right. And by the look of the duct tape, it’s been there for a while.”
Tess took a bite of a fry. “But the burgers are still good and the fries are just the way I like them. Crispy and a little brown.”
We ate, reminiscing about all of the things we did when we were young and beginning our life as a married couple. It was easy conversation, like falling into my recliner to watch a football game.
“Remember how Thursdays was Hamburger Helper night?” Tess asked.
I laughed. “Yeah, Hamburger Helper—without the hamburger.”
“And Tuesday night was Ramen noodle night,” Tess continued. “Beef flavored for you; chicken for me.”
I sighed. “It’s been a long time since I’ve eaten Hamburger Helper without the hamburger and Ramen noodles. Maybe we should try it some night. For old times’ sake.”
The bell on the door jingled. I looked up and waved. “It’s Chloe and she’s with a guy.”
Tess turned around and waved.
Chloe walked over. “Hi, guys! This is Rob. Rob, this is Tess and Jeremy. Jeremy went to high school with my mom and Tom.”
Rob held out his hand and Tess and I shook it.
“Nice to meet you, Rob,” Tess said.
He smiled. “Thank you, ma’am.”
“Well, we’re going to order. It was nice seeing you guys,” Chloe said.
“I guess I’ll see you next week at Gina’s baby shower,” Tess said.
Chloe sighed. “Unfortunately I’m going to miss it. My dad’s taking me to New York for the weekend. He purchased show tickets and planned the weekend before Mom told me about the shower.”
“Ah, too bad. But I’m sure Gina will understand.”
They walked away.
<
br /> “I can’t believe Chloe’s dating,” I said. “Seems like only yesterday she was dragging her doll everywhere she went.”
“Kids do grow up,” Tess said. “Just look at Katie and John.”
I held up my hand. “Don’t remind me. It makes me feel old.”
***
Tess
When we got home from the burger joint, Jeremy and I watched a movie. Even though he prefers action and adventure, he agreed to watch a romance. I sat next to him on the sofa and he put his arm around me, but that’s as far as it went. I knew he was horny as hell, but I was determined to hold out. I didn’t want to have sex too soon and then he’d think everything was fine and go back to his old ways.
“Stupid ass,” I said.
Jeremy jumped. “Who you calling a stupid ass?”
I pointed to the TV. “Him. I can’t believe he just doesn’t tell her how he feels. He loves her. It’s obvious. But he won’t tell her he loves her because he thinks she loves his best friend.”
“She doesn’t, though, right?”
“Right. She loves him.”
“So they both love each other but neither one is admitting it.”
“Precisely,” I said.
“So how’s this going to end if no one acts?”
I took another sip of wine. “Guess we’ll just have to see.”
Chapter 8
Jeremy
I was a little nervous about going over to Tom’s. He’d invited the guys over to watch football while the girls went to Gina’s surprise baby shower. It’d be the first time seeing Keith since I apologized for being drunk and making a complete ass out of myself.
I sipped a beer, waiting for Mike to pick me up. The kids were with my parents, who took them to Washington for the weekend. It wasn’t a bad week as far as weeks go. Still no sex, but I felt like things were improving between Tess and me. I got up with the kids one morning and let her sleep in. Even packed Katie’s lunch, although she complained the whole time, telling me “Mom does it better.” Hell, I even tried doing a load of laundry, but put too much detergent in the washing machine and Tess had to run the load through rinse again. I was trying, though, really trying.
Most of the week, I slept in a separate bed. But by mid-week, Tess invited me to sleep with her. She was still holding out, but I could feel she was warming up.
Mike pulled into the driveway and tooted the horn. I grabbed the dessert Tess made for me to take and went outside.
“What’s that?” Mike asked as I climbed in.
“Chocolate cake. Tess made it.”
Mike licked his lips. “I love Tess’s cakes.” Mike shook his head. “I didn’t mean that how it sounded.”
“No problem. I love them, too. Just haven’t had them lately.”
Mike backed out of the driveway. “So things still haven’t improved?”
“A little. But we’re still not having sex.”
He turned the wheel. “Man, she must have been pissed.”
“I hope that’s all it is.”
He straightened the car and took off. “Do you think there’s someone else?”
“Based on how Tess feels about cheaters, I can’t imagine that ever happening. Still, I’d be lying if I said the thought hasn’t crossed my mind, especially with how shitty everything’s been lately. She was offered a job teaching a cycling class at the gym.”
“That’s great,” Mike said.
“Yeah. But I’m beginning to wonder if there isn’t someone at the gym.”
“Why?”
“Oh, I don’t know. Maybe I’m just crazy or paranoid. For example. The other day, Tess told me she was going to the gym. It seemed like she spent forever getting ready. Normally she just throws on sweats and a T-shirt and puts her hair in a ponytail. Instead, she walked downstairs dressed for the gym but wearing makeup, like she was going out on the town. Who wears makeup to the gym?”
“Maybe it just makes her feel better,” Mike said.
“Maybe. Or maybe there’s someone there she’s trying to impress.”
“Did you ask her about it?”
“No. I didn’t want to piss her off. I’m waiting for her to make the first move. I’ve been trying to help out more around the house and show her I’m not just talk. But I’m having a tough time breaking through. She was thinking about applying for a full-time job at a new magazine that’s starting up.”
“Would she still teach cycling classes?”
“Not sure. Guess it would depend on the magazine hours.”
Mike pulled up to Tom’s house. “Remember, you’re moving on. I’m sure Keith wants to put everything behind him just like you do.”
I opened the car door. “Let’s hope we can.”
***
Tess
Gina followed me down the hall to the room I had reserved at the country club. She thought she was going to have lunch with Sue and me. I had dropped off the tea sandwiches earlier before picking Gina up. I opened the door.
“Surprise!”
We walked into a sea of yellows and pinks and blues and mint greens. Because she and Mike opted to not find out the sex of their baby ahead of time, the party palette covered both.
Gina placed her hand over her heart. Her lip trembled and her eyes turned glassy. She scanned the room, packed with friends and family. “I don’t know what to say.” She started crying. “I wish Mom were here.”
Sue hugged Gina. “She’s here. You just can’t see her.”
That only made Gina cry more. I don’t think there was a dry eye in the room.
“Come on,” Sue said. “Let’s get this party started.”
Gina smiled and nodded. Sue led her to the guest of honor chair, decorated with pink and blue steamers and balloons.
“The decorations are adorable,” Gina said.
Baby bottles filled with miniature pink and blue carnations decorated each table, along with wooden alphabet blocks and plastic rattles. Guests had hung baby items on a clothes line strung across the room. There were sleepers and undershirts and bibs and other items, mostly in green and yellow. A table overflowed with gifts. Gina had generous friends.
We played games, ate and then Gina opened the gifts. We had a great time and eventually it was just the girls; all of the other guests had left.
“You guys really surprised me,” Gina said. “Thank you. This was the best shower ever.”
“You’ve waited a long time to be a mother,” Sue said. “We wanted it to be perfect for you.”
“It’s more than perfect.”
“Not to change the subject,” Cookie said. “But how’s the shitting going?”
Gina laughed. “Better.”
“Oh. My. God,” Sue said. “Speaking of shitting, did you see that commercial for poop spray on television? It totally cracks me up.”
“Poop spray?” Gina asked.
“Supposedly you spray it in the toilet before you go and it covers up the odor,” Sue explained. “I guess it’s to use when you go in a public restroom.”
“There’s no way I would ever poop in a public restroom,” Gina said.
I agreed.
“Sometimes you don’t have a choice,” Lynn said.
“True,” Cookie said. “And sometimes there’s a poop stalemate.”
I laughed, waiting for Cookie to explain.
“A what?” Lynn asked.
“A poop stalemate. It’s when you go into a public restroom to poop. Someone comes in and you act dead silent, hoping they’ll leave quickly. But they don’t. They have to poop, too. So you end up in a stalemate. Sometimes you make noise. Like open and shut the tampon trash receptacle attached to the wall or crumple some toilet paper, in an attempt to disguise your true purpose. But it doesn’t work. Nobody wins a poop stalemate.”
Everyone laughed. I loved hanging out with the girls. They always made me laugh, and I really needed laughter in my life.
***
Jeremy
When I walked into Tom’s house
, Keith was drinking a beer at the bar. I walked over and extended my hand. “Sorry again for acting like an asshole.”
Keith waved. “Movin’ on, Jer.”
“What can I get you to drink?” Tom asked.
“Nothing stronger than beer.”
Tom handed me a beer and I sat on the bar stool next to Keith.
Mike opted for beer, too.
“So, Mike, ready for that new baby?”
Mike smiled. “Can’t wait.”
“Man. Dude. You’re telling me you can’t wait to be up half the night?” Keith asked.
“Well, I’m not too anxious for that, but I’m damn anxious to hold mine and Gina’s baby.”
“You are one sentimental dude,” Keith joked.
Mike nodded. “When it comes to Gina, you’re right. I am. But god, I never in a million years thought we’d be having a baby together. The way it all happened is pretty incredible. And to think I almost didn’t go to our reunion.”
“Speaking of the reunion,” I said, “I ran into Eric the other week. He was home visiting his parents. I guess the Rhode Island school where he teaches had a long weekend.”
“How’s he doing?” Tom asked.
“About the same. Still doing that Civil War re-enactor thing.”
“Remember how he could lure Mrs. Hoffman into spending the entire class telling stories from her childhood?” Mike asked.
We laughed.
“Who could forget Hoffman and her stories?” Tom said. “It beat reading the Iliad.”
“Do you think the girls surprised Gina with the shower or was she expecting it?” Rick asked Mike.
“I think she thought they’d have a shower for her, but I don’t think she thought it was today. She honestly thought she was having lunch with Sue and Tess at the club.”
Tom looked at his watch. “Better turn on the TV. Game’s about to start.”
***
Tess
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