Dream a Little Dream

by Susan Elizabeth Phillips

  "I've told Ethan the same thing I'm going to tell you," Rachel said. "Stop pampering him. Running the Pride of Carolina isn't what he should be doing with his life, and both of you need to stop acting as if he's involved in something wonderful. Gabe's a vet, and that's what he needs to be doing."

  "You think you know my brother better than his own family?" Cal said coldly.

  "Yeah, I guess I do."

  Gabe reappeared. "Coffee should be ready soon."

  Ethan's gaze flickered from his older brother back to Gabe. "There's a ball in the garage. Let's throw it around while Mr. Quarterback cleans up the kitchen. You want to come with us, Edward?"

  Edward took his time replying. "I want to, but if I do, Rosie's gonna cry 'cause she likes me so much, so I guess I'll stay here and play with her."

  Rachel could see that her son's decision had won him the affection of Rosie's parents. Both of them smiled and told him he could go on, but Edward politely refused.

  Ethan and Gabe stepped down off the deck. Rachel began to clear the table only to have Cal come up behind her and say softly, "Would you mind stepping into the study for a few minutes? I have something to show you."

  Going off with him was the last thing she wanted to do, but Jane and Kristy had just disappeared into the kitchen, so there was no one to rescue her. She gave what she hoped looked like a careless shrug and followed him.

  When they reached the study, he closed the door behind them. Through the window to her left, she saw the football fly, then Gabe ran into her field of vision to catch it.

  Cal walked behind the desk that had once been Dwayne's and pulled open a drawer. "I have something here for you." He withdrew a slip of paper and extended it toward her. Even before her fingers closed around it, she knew that it was a check. She glanced down and drew in her breath.

  It was made out to her in the amount of twenty-five thousand dollars.

  Her voice croaked. "What's this?"

  He settled into the chair and looked up at her. "A down payment on your future."

  She stared at it, a sinking feeling in her stomach, knowing the answer to the question even before she asked it. "And what do you want in return?"

  "I want you to leave Salvation and not contact my brother again." He paused. "You have responsibilities. A child to support. This'll make it easier."

  "I see." A knot began to grow in her throat. She had come to Salvation to find a treasure, but she hadn't imagined this would be it. She swallowed hard, trying to make the knot loosen. "How long do I have?"

  "I figure you'll need a little time to find a place to go, so I've postdated it. I'll expect you gone in ten days."

  As she looked across the desk at him, she was surprised to see a flash of compassion in his eyes, and she hated him for it. She blinked hard. "Gabe laughs now. Not often, but sometimes. Did Ethan tell you that?"

  "Reopening that drive-in has been good for him. He's finally starting to heal."

  She wanted to argue with him, to tell him that she was the reason Gabe had begun to heal, but he wouldn't believe her. Besides, she didn't know if it was true. Maybe she didn't mean anything more to Gabe than a few hours of forgetfulness when they were in bed.

  "Both Ethan and I believe that having you gone will speed up the process."

  "If Gabe finds out about this, he'll be furious."

  "That's why you're not going to say a word. Do you understand? If you even hint to him about this, the deal's off."

  "Oh, yes. I definitely understand." She drew the check through her fingers. "Just tell me one thing. Exactly what do you think I'm doing to your brother that's so terrible?"

  "I think you're taking advantage of him." . "How?"

  His eyes narrowed. "Don't play games with me, lady, because I'll run you right over! Gabe's a rich man who's careless about his money. You want to take him for every penny he has, then set off for greener pastures."

  "You know this for a fact?"

  "Are you going to take the check or not?"

  She gazed down at the check and wondered if the time would ever come when she could outrun her past. "Yes. Yes, I'm going to take it, Mr. Bonner. You bet your life I am."

  She shoved the check into the pocket of her dress and turned toward the door, but his soft voice stopped her before she could leave.

  "Mrs. Snopes, you won't like what happens if you try to screw me over on this."

  Her fingers convulsed around the knob. "Believe me, Mr. Bonner, you're the last man on earth I'd screw."

  She forced herself not to run from the room, but she was shaking by the time she reached the deck, where Jane and Kristy had abandoned their efforts to clean up and were sitting and talking.

  The moment Jane saw Rachel, her expression grew wary. "What did he do?"

  Rachel couldn't quite control the small quaver in her voice. "You'll have to ask him."

  Jane rose and caught Rachel's hands in her own. "I'm sorry. The Bonners are—They're a family in every sense of the word. They'll fight the world for each other, but sometimes their loyalty blinds them."

  The most Rachel could manage was a small nod.

  "I'll try to talk to him again," Jane said.

  "It won't do any good." She spotted Gabe's keys on the table, and she scooped them up. "I'm not feeling well. I'm sure Ethan won't mind driving Gabe back to the cottage. Come on, Edward, we have to go."

  Edward protested Rachel's announcement, and Rosie fell apart when she realized she was losing her play companion. Her small face crumpled as Edward disengaged Horse from her hands. She reached out her arms for him or for the rabbit, Rachel wasn't sure which, and began to howl.

  Edward gave her a clumsy pat on the head. "It's okay, Rosie. You're just having a bad day."

  Rosie stopped crying, but her blue eyes brimmed with tears, and she regarded him with an expression so pitiful it could have melted stone.

  Edward looked down at Horse. And then, to Rachel's astonishment, he handed the stuffed rabbit back to her.

  Rosie clutched it to her tiny, heaving chest and gazed up at Edward with grateful eyes.

  Rachel regarded her son with concern. "Are you sure about this, Edward?"

  He hesitated for only a moment before he nodded. "I'm all grown-up now, Mom. Rosie needs Horse more than I do."

  She smiled, squeezed his hand, and tried not to cry.

  Gabe leaped out of Ethan's Camry before the car had even stopped and charged toward the front porch where Edward was constructing a lopsided log cabin from sticks he'd gathered. "Where's your mother?"

  "I don't know. Inside, I guess." His gaze moved past Gabe to Ethan and Kristy, who were just getting out of the car.

  Gabe began to walk toward the door only to stop as he saw the boy make a small gesture to the side, as if he were trying to pick up something that wasn't there. Then his arm fell back into his lap, and he gave a sigh that seemed to come from his toes.

  Gabe wished he didn't understand the gesture. "You're missing that rabbit of yours, aren't you?"

  Edward bent his head over his log cabin and scratched his knee.

  "I heard you gave it to Rosie, but everybody'll understand if you want it back." He tried to contain the gruffness in his voice, but couldn't quite manage.

  "Rosie won't understand."

  "She's only a baby. She'll forget about it."

  "Horse isn't the kind of thing a kid forgets about."

  He spoke with such absolute certainty that Gabe knew there was no use arguing with him. In that way, he was exactly like his mother.

  "Pastor Ethan! Kristy!" The boy smiled as they stepped up onto the porch. "You want to see my log cabin?" He was too young to sense the tension between them, but Gabe had felt it.

  "You bet we do," Kristy said.

  Gabe turned away and walked into the cottage. "Rachel?"

  There was no answer. He made a quick search of the rooms, then found her outside where she was bent over a rogue tomato plant in the weedy garden.

  She was weari
ng the orange dress she painted in. Sunlight dappled her hair and danced along those slender, golden-brown arms. Her feet were bare, and she'd buried her toes in the soft dirt. She looked timeless and sensual, made up of earth and fire, and he wanted to take her right there in that imperfect garden. He wanted to cover her body with his body, forget who he was, who she was. He wanted to go to her without a past or future, with no thoughts beyond this single moment.

  She looked up. A light sheen of perspiration glistened along her cheekbones, and her lips parted in surprise. "I didn't hear you."

  She gave no smile of greeting, no sign that she was glad to see him. "Why did you take off like that?" he snapped.

  "I wasn't feeling well."

  "You seem to be feeling fine now."

  She didn't reply. Instead, she bent her head and began working a clump of chickweed free.

  "If you wanted to leave, you should have told me. You know I don't like it when you're here by yourself."

  "You can't be with me every minute. And why should you try?"

  "What does that mean?"

  "It means I'm not your responsibility."

  The snippy note in her voice annoyed him. She was the one in the wrong, not him. He was doing everything he could to keep her safe, but she wouldn't cooperate. "You're my responsibility while you're under this roof," he found himself saying.

  But she wasn't impressed by his bluster. "If you want to be useful, get a shovel and start digging a trench around those shrubs instead of growling at me."

  "I'm not growling."

  "Could have fooled me."

  "Damn it, Rachel, you ran off without telling me! I didn't know what had happened. I was worried."

  "Were you?" She cocked her head to the side and gave him a slow smile that melted his bones.

  He determinedly shook off the spell she was weaving around him. "You don't have to look so pleased about it. I'm not exactly happy with you at the moment, and not just because of the way you ran off." He knew he should let it go at that, but he couldn't. "From now on, I'd appreciate it if you didn't try to psychoanalyze me in front of my family."

  "Can't think of a better place to do it than around people who want you to get well."

  "I am well! I mean it, Rachel. I don't want to hear any more negative remarks about the drive-in. Everything went great last night. You should be celebrating."

  "Everything didn't go great. I love that drive-in, but you don't! And the day I'll celebrate is the day you go back to work as a vet."

  "Why do you have to keep pushing me? Why can't you just let things be?"

  "Because the way things are is tearing you apart."

  "Yeah, well, that's not your problem."

  "No, it's not, is it?"

  He realized that he'd hurt her, but a squeal of laughter interrupted them before he could make amends. He turned automatically, and what he saw made the hair on the back of his neck prickle. Ethan was coming around the side of the house with Edward perched on his shoulders, Kristy lagging behind.

  The boy looked as if someone had handed him a rainbow. His eyes sparkled, and his bangs flopped as Ethan jogged forward. Being carried around like this was exactly what Edward had been dreaming about at the pig roast when he'd watched his friend riding his father's shoulders, and Gabe wanted to feel good about what he saw, but instead, he was overwhelmed by a sense of utter wrongness.

  He couldn't understand his reaction. This child had received so few breaks in life, and now Gabe was begrudging him this small, simple pleasure. He felt petty and mean-spirited, but he couldn't argue himself out of his feelings—he couldn't relinquish the absolute certainty that Edward Stone did not belong on his brother's shoulders.

  Rachel had risen to her feet. But instead of enjoying her son's happiness or moving forward to greet Kristy, she stood absolutely still, her arms at her sides, as she watched Gabe.

  He felt a chill as he realized she knew exactly what he was thinking. Somehow she could see into his head, and she knew how resentful he was. He wanted to explain, but how could he explain what he didn't understand himself? How could he justify the feelings he had toward this child she loved more than her own life?

  He looked away, turning toward his brother instead. Unlike Rachel, he could trust Ethan not to judge him. "Thanks for dropping me off, Eth."

  "No problem."

  "Excuse me, will you? I have to get some bookkeeping done." He turned away, and, as he headed into the cottage, he tried not to look as if he were fleeing.

  Rachel winced at the sound of the screen door banging. At the same time, she felt dizzy from the pain of what she'd seen in his eyes. Why couldn't he stop hating Edward? The resentment he hadn't been able to hide felt like a blow to her heart. She reeled from it as the frail hopes she'd been nurturing disintegrated around her.

  Gabe's demons weren't going to let him go, she realized. And the love she craved for herself and her son would never materialize.

  These past few years, she'd prided herself on being realistic, but she'd been hiding from the truth for weeks. His feelings weren't going to change, and every moment she stayed with him would only make their inevitable parting that much worse. There was no rosy future in sight for her. No passport to fortune hidden away in Dwayne's Bible. No eternal love. And no one but herself to care about Edward.

  Her time in Salvation had finally run out.

  They had a larger crowd at the drive-in on Saturday night, but Gabe seemed even more withdrawn and unhappy. Afterward, when he came to her bed, they didn't speak, and their passion seemed tainted.

  On Sunday afternoon she watched through the bedroom window as he moved Tweety Bird into the aviary he'd built. This was what he needed to be doing, but if he ever figured that out, she wouldn't be around to see it.

  The expression of bitter resentment she'd seen on Gabe's face yesterday when he'd gazed at Edward had finally forced her to take action. She'd called Kristy that morning and set her plan in motion. Now every moment had grown more precious. If only she could hate him for failing her, maybe it wouldn't be so painful, but how could she hate a man whose greatest fault lay in his ability to love so absolutely?

  She ran her thumbs over the bumpy cover of Dwayne's Bible. She'd read every marginal note and studied each underlined passage, but all she'd found was the age-old comfort of verses she thought she'd stopped believing in.

  Resting the side of her head on the window frame, she gazed outside at the man with whom she'd so unwisely fallen in love. Now, while Edward was occupied on the front porch, she had to tell Gabe she was leaving.

  The rickety back steps creaked beneath her feet as she stepped down into the yard. She watched Gabe make an adjustment to the aviary door latch with a pair of pliers while Tweety Bird's shrill cheeps kept him company. He looked up and smiled as he caught sight of her, sending her heart into a crazy little dance.

  She drew a deep breath. "Gabe, I'm leaving."

  "All right." He finished tinkering with the latch. "Give me a few minutes to put away my tools, and I'll come with you."

  "No, that's not what I mean." Don't do it! her heart cried. Don't say the words! But her brain was wiser. "I—I'm leaving Salvation."

  He grew absolutely still. In the magnolia behind him, a squirrel chattered away, while a crow cawed from its perch on the peak of the old tin roof. "What are you talking about?" He slowly rose, the pliers dangling forgotten in his hand.

  "I talked to Kristy this morning. Her parents have been after her for months to move to Clearwater and help run their gift shop. I'm going to do it instead." She realized she was digging her fingernails into her palms, and she forced herself to relax. "Kristy says she'll feel better knowing I'm there to keep an eye on them, and they own a little apartment over the shop where Edward and I can live. Plus, all that Florida sunshine," she finished inanely.

  There was a long pause. "I see." He glanced down at the pliers in his hand, but she had the feeling he didn't see them. "How much are they going to pay you?"


  "About what you are—they can't afford much right now—but the business is going to grow. I'll make do, especially since I won't have rent." She thought of the check for twenty-five thousand dollars tucked away in her top dresser drawer, and her stomach clenched. "As soon as Edward starts school full-time, I'm going to try to get a scholarship and go back to college. I'll only be able to take a few courses at a time, but I want to study business and finance."

  He shoved the pliers into the back pocket of his jeans, and his eyes had that old hard look in them. "I see. You have it all worked out, don't you?"

  She nodded.

  "No discussion? It didn't occurred to you that maybe we should talk this over before you made up your mind."

  "Why?" She spoke gently because she had to make certain he knew she wasn't blaming him. "There isn't any future for us. We both know that."

  But he was in no mood to be appeased. He stalked toward her, closing the distance between them with angry strides. "You're not going."

  "Yes, I am."

  He loomed over her, and she wondered if he was deliberately using his size to intimidate her. "You heard me. You're staying right here! Going to Florida is a harebrained idea. What kind of security would you have working for peanuts and relying on other people for the roof over your head?"

  "That's what I do now," she pointed out.

  For a moment he seemed taken aback, then he made a harsh gesture with his hand. "It's not the same thing at all. You have friends here."

  "I also have enemies."

  "That'll change once people get to know you and realize you're going to be part of the community."

  "How can I be part of the community? There aren't any opportunities for me here."

  "And you think there'll be opportunities for you working for an hourly wage in some cheap Florida gift shop?"

  She turned away from him. "I'm sure it's not cheap, and I don't want to argue with you about this. I have to go."