by Luna Pierce
“I’ll be okay,” I call out to him.
Without letting any of the girls see or stop me, I go straight to where the dull ache calls me to. It’s like I have my own internal Silas compass, guiding me to him without me really knowing how.
I step through a wooded area and allow my eyes to adjust to the darkness.
A hand wraps around my arm, twirling and pushing me smoothly against a tree.
My lips turn up at the corners. “Hey.”
“I warned you it wasn’t safe out here,” Silas mutters.
“I knew you were here. I wouldn’t have come if I didn’t.”
He steps back, releasing me from the tree. “You knew?”
“Mhm.”
“How?”
“I just did. Probably the same way you were aware I was in danger. There’s some invisible pull between us.” I lean onto the large oak.
“I thought only I could feel that.” He rubs at his neck.
“Nope, so… dare to tell me what this fate thing is all about?”
He huffs. “Not a chance.”
“If you won’t tell me, how about you come to the party?”
His eyes scan mine, and a long moment passes. “I’m not really a party kind of guy.”
“Neither am I, but it would make me happy if you came… for a little while.” I push the issue to see if it really is because of being a vampire.
“Fine.”
He says the word, and my heart jumps. “Really?”
He smiles. “Don’t act so surprised, but I’m not staying long.”
I leap from the tree and wrap my arms around him, hugging him tight with not a care in the world how intrusive of his boundaries I’m being right now. The energy between us is fierce, calling for more. I don’t think I’ll ever be close enough to him and I’ll never be able to will myself to stop trying.
He hesitantly wraps his arms around me and relaxes into the embrace.
Now, going to the party seems to be a shit idea. Letting go of him an impossible task.
Silas slides his hands down my waist, gently tugging my hips in an attempt to pry me off him.
“He doesn’t want you,” the voice calls.
I drop my hands in response, the words a punch to the gut. What is going on inside my head? That can’t be true, can it?
“What was that?” Silas asks.
“Nothing.” I shake my head.
He cups my face in his hand. “Tell me if something is wrong, please.”
“I’m okay.” I take his arm. “Let’s go.” Forcing away the thought, I all but drag him to the clearing. “Look who I found,” I announce.
Deghan clasps Silas’s shoulder. “What’s up, man?”
Silas looks from Deghan, to me, back to Deghan.
I can’t tell whether he’s shy or simply hates parties.
Angry energy penetrates my chest, and I scan the immediate area. My gaze settles on the cause. Allie. The girl I overheard in the shower a few weeks ago who has a crush on Silas. And here I am, flaunting him in front of her. I’d be pissed, too. But at the same time, she has no right. Silas is not her property, and if he wanted to be with her, then he would.
I run my hand in small circles on Silas’s back, pushing my calming energy into him. Whatever his aversion of parties, maybe I can help him in the short term.
He tilts his head to the side in acknowledgment of the shift in his energy and shakes his head. “You’re one of a kind, Willow.” His lips beg me to lean in and press mine to them.
I find myself unable to break my concentration from him. The world seems to slow and it’s just me and Silas in this little bubble of bliss.
But it’s not, and I realize that the moment a body crashes into mine and I’m drenched with a wickedly cold liquid.
“What the…?” I yelp, stumbling back.
“Oh my god,” a dramatic voice says. “I’m so sorry, I should really watch where I’m walking.”
I settle my gaze on the culprit. That bitch.
Cameron, Deghan, Silas, and out of nowhere, Sydney, are at my side, the girls filing in around them. Even Lillian joins the group.
Kyra begins to speak, but I cut her off. I don’t need her fighting my battles.
“What’s your problem, Allie?” I stand my ground, some nasty-smelling drink soaking into my shirt.
She bats her eyes. “It was an accident, don’t be so sensitive.”
“Accident my ass, I saw you staring at me a minute ago. So what is it?” I take a step toward her, daring her to tell me the truth.
A warm and familiar hand lands on my arm, getting my attention. “We, uh, we need to go,” Sydney says.
He points to the mess on my clothes, and it takes me an extra second to register his concern.
She spilled alcohol on me, and now it’s seeping into my skin, threatening to weaken and hinder my magic, and my ability to function.
“This isn’t over,” I say to her and turn on my heel. “I’ll find you girls once I’ve cleaned up,” I say to Remi, Kyra, and Lillian. I focus on Lillian, and she nods slightly, giving me more than I expected.
Stomping away from the clearing, I mutter obscenities.
Chapter Six
The guys and I walk the path to the school in silence.
Sydney was right in his concern and it’s not long before the effects of the alcohol firmly root itself in place, a weird uneasy feeling resolving over me.
I take a step and wobble. Is it reacting quicker than the last time?
My vision blurs, and my pace slows.
Hands on my neck and under my legs. Lifting me.
Silas.
“Sorry,” I manage.
“You’re such a burden,” the evil voice declares.
I wince, the statement searing my heart.
“Hurry,” Silas calls out. He rushes us forward and to the entrance of the school rapidly, only slowing for what I assume are humans in the dining hall.
Reaching into my waistband, I pull out my saving grace. I click the pen and Silas and I go invisible.
The rest of the journey goes by in a flash, Silas using his vamp speed to get us to Sydney’s room. He holds me tight against his body. “It’s going to be okay,” he coos.
“This is bullshit,” I reply, making us visible again.
He laughs. “Yeah, it is.”
“All because she likes you.”
“What?”
“Allie, that’s why she’s mad.”
“She’s going to have to get over it, I’m spoken for.”
I smile at his words, desperately hoping they mean what I think they do.
“Not you,” evil me says.
The rest of the guys barrel up the stairs and into the dorm hallway.
“Damn, Silas, you’re fast,” Cameron says, out of breath. “Is she okay?”
“She’s right here,” I joke. “Ready to kick Allie’s ass.”
“You’re not fit to kick anyone’s ass, Willow,” Sydney teases. “You, get her, I don’t want him in here.”
Deghan shrugs and takes me from Silas.
“I’ll be right here,” Silas reassures.
I’m placed on a bed in Sydney’s room, and he does his witchy stuff, waving his glowing hands and setting a sparkly white crystal on my chest.
It’s only a few moments later, but damn do I feel drastically better once he’s done his thing.
I sit up, glancing down at my still soaked shirt. How cute. “Thanks, Syd, what would I do without you?”
“Willow, I’m not sure how to say this…”
“Say it, please. What’s wrong?” Worry consumes me.
“This time, everything happened much quicker. The glitch, it was more potent than last. When I eliminate it from your body, I process it into mine. It felt different.”
“So, Allie’s drink had a higher alcohol content?” My gaze scans the room. “What was everyone drinking?”
Cameron shrugs. “I think it was the usual. Sometimes people sneak in
bottles of harder stuff.”
“That explains it then, she probably had vodka or something,” I say.
“You drank a clear liquid last time, though, right?” Sydney asks.
I recall the memory, grabbing what I thought was my bottle in a quest to drown my thirst with my water. “Yeah, I was convinced it was water.”
“Then that was probably vodka, this, this is something else.”
Deghan chimes in. “Are you saying someone purposely put Allie up to pouring that on Willow? In an attempt to weaken her defenses?”
Sydney nods and rubs his chin. “It’s very well possible.”
The door flies open, Silas standing in the entrance.
Sydney shifts his focus to me. “No more parties. Not until you can learn some protection spells.”
“Okay. Can you help me with that?” Or I could ask Abigail for assistance.
“Yeah, but right now, you need to get changed out of those clothes and then come back so I can make sure it didn’t take hold again.” He looks between the guys. “Can someone escort her to her room while I recharge?” His green eyes are dull and lack their normal luster.
“We’ve got it.” Cameron grips my hand and helps me stand. “You okay to walk?”
“How are you so good at dealing with all of this?” I ask.
His face scrunches in response. “What do you mean?”
I motion around the room. “All of this. Aren’t you overwhelmed?”
“Not really. You’re all the same people, but with supernatural abilities. If anything, now I don’t feel quite so clueless.”
Leave it to Cameron to be accepting of the supernatural world. He’s a kind soul and such a selfless human.
“You’ll never be good enough,” the voice screams inside my head.
It’s everything I can do not to react.
Walking through the open area, Silas leans in close. “It happened again, didn’t it?”
How is he so in tune with me?
I shake my head and play dumb. “What?”
“I’m going to find out what’s going on, Willow. Or you could tell me.” His bossy possessiveness is adorable and shows me that he cares.
“He doesn’t care about you.”
“There it was. What is that?”
Tears well in my eyes, and I fight them back. Insecurities come flooding in.
Failing, disappointment, rejection, abandonment. They threaten to destroy me.
“Nothing,” I lie. “I’m okay.” I approach my dorm. “Give me five.” I step through, shutting them out and stripping my clothes off immediately. I hop in the bath, scrubbing away the night, the makeup, the alcohol. I take a record-fast shower and dry off even quicker, slapping some lotion on and throwing on a pair of sweatpants and tee shirt. It’s not cute, but it serves its purpose. Can’t exactly go back to the party now anyway.
A knock rattles the door, and I finish throwing on a pair of cozy socks.
“Willow?” Deghan asks.
“I’m okay. One more second.” I swing the door open and note the gawking eyes. “Yeah, yeah. I know, I look like a homeless person now.”
Cameron smacks Deghan playfully. “Your jaw.” He points to the floor.
“If this is what homeless people look like, I’m dropping out of school,” Deghan says.
“Enough,” Silas commands. “Back to Sydney to confirm she’s clear.”
I tuck a stray strand of hair behind my ear, blushing at their response.
“Ugly,” the voice calls. “You’re nothing.”
Avoiding Silas at all costs, I stride right through Sydney’s door, leaving him waiting. It’s cruel, especially since he’s not wrong, but I can’t tell him the details of what’s going through my head. I don’t understand it, let alone do I want to divulge the intimate vulnerabilities.
I stop in front of Sydney, and he studies me over.
He waves his hand over my body, head to toe, muttering something. He finishes and meets my eyes. He’s tired, and it shows, dark circles appearing and his lids drooping. This must take a lot out of him. “You’re good to go.”
“Is there something I can do for you?” I reach out to caress his arm.
“I just need some sleep.” He places his hand on mine and weakly smiles. “Tomorrow, though, we’ll work on building your barriers to protect you from these types of weaknesses.”
I leave his room in hopes that he’ll be able to rest. The remaining guys follow me down the hall.
“I told the girls I would find them once I got cleaned up.” I pause in the large open space and find a chair to settle into. “I’ll wait here until they get in from the party. You can go back if you want to.” I glance at each one of them.
Cameron pulls up a seat, Deghan plopping on the couch next to me, and Silas leans against the wall. All of them with no intention to leave anytime soon.
It’s only a matter of minutes when the girls come up the stairs. Kyra and Remi eye me instantly and head over, but Lillian turns toward their dorm.
“Willow, you should have seen what happened!” Remi slurs, her eyeliner smudged and telling a story that she’s either been crying or laughing. “Lillian smacked Allie.”
“What? Why?” I stand, eager for answers.
Kyra laughs. “I thought I was the scary one. Lills straight-up got in Allie’s face and laced her with a good one. Allie was appalled. Oh em gee, it was the best thing I’ve ever witnessed. Her expression. It was priceless.” She busts out laughing, doubling over and falling into Remi.
“Is she okay? Lillian?” I glance toward where she disappeared.
“She’ll be fine, that little firecracker.” Kyra hiccups, throwing her hand over her mouth. “Oh no.”
“Come on, drunk ass.” Remi clutches Kyra’s arm and looks to me. “Walk us home?”
“Of course.”
The guys stay behind, and I take Remi’s free hand and lead her to her room.
“You have an entire entourage of hot guys at your disposal, Willow. It’s no wonder you’ve been too busy for us.” Remi winks. “I can’t say I blame you.”
“We’re friends,” I add.
“Friends? That’s funny. Have you seen the way each of them watches you, their eyes glued to you? They may be your friends, but you’re not theirs, at least not completely. They all have the hots for you.”
I shift the attention from me to her. “What about you? Anyone caught your eye?”
Remi glances over at Kyra and says, “You know me, I’m keeping my options open.”
We arrive at the door and pile together for a group hug. Being in their company is such a welcome addition.
“Let’s get breakfast in the morning,” Kyra suggests.
Remi pulls back, her eyes going wide. “Yes, yes, yes!”
“Okay,” I give in, despite the uncertainty of what my morning will bring. “Tell Lillian I said goodnight.”
The girls funnel into their room and leave me in the corridor alone. I lower my head and mosey down the hall.
“I’m beat.” Cameron yawns, stretching his arms. He meets me near the entrance of the dorm lobby. “You going to be okay?” He reels me in for a hug.
“Yep, I’m heading to bed, too. It’s been a long day.” I squeeze him gently.
He turns to the guys, waving and saying, “Night.”
Now, all that remains is Deghan, Silas, and me.
“Okay, now it’s my turn.” Deghan wraps his arms around me and lifts me off the floor a hair. “Night, tiny one.” He releases me all too soon.
“Sleep well.” I scan his chestnut eyes.
Once he’s gone, Silas says, “Are you going to tell me what’s going on?” His voice is strained with concern. “I’m not a fool, Willow. Don’t shut me out.” He closes the gap between us until he’s standing right in front of me. “What is it?” His words are merely a flutter.
“I… I can’t.” I swallow and shake my head.
He frowns, taking his hand and resting it along my cheek.
I close my eyes in response and lean into his touch.
“What’s hurting you?”
“I’m not sure. It’s nothing I can make sense of.” I open my eyes and find his staring back at mine. Gray and silver with shades of purple weaved in. They’re impossibly breathtaking, and each time he looks at me, a shock wave courses through me. Is this how he looks at everyone or is it only me?
“He doesn’t want you.”
“There, right there, that one was the most intense of them all. I felt it, Willow.”
“Some things are better left unsaid, like talking about fate.” Sure, it’s a low blow, but if I want him to stop prying, I have to give him a small taste of his own medicine. Part of me is immensely drawn to divulging my deepest darkest fears to him, but the other—rational—side of me, is aware of how exposed that would leave me.
Pain takes over his face as I slam the mental door on him.
“That’s it, push him away. Destroy him before he destroys you. He’ll never love you.”
“I’m sorry,” I say. “I’m not trying to hurt you. I’m not ready to talk about it yet.”
He nods. “Okay. I’ll be here when you’re ready.” Taking my hand in his, he guides me to the west dorm.
We reach my room, and I itch to ask him to stay, but I don’t. It wouldn’t be fair of me.
I stand on my tiptoes, pressing a soft kiss on his cheek. I sigh, not prepared to deal with a night full of his absence.
I settle into my room, and the silence and loneliness kicks in full force.
“You’re always going to be alone.”
“What do you want from me?” I ask the voice.
“You’re crazy, Willow. Following in line with your mother. Talking to yourself.”
“Say’s the voice in my head.”
Quiet ensues, and I grow certain I’ve been making up the thoughts. I allow myself to relax, falling into a deep sleep.
Demons haunt me in my dreams, and I’m flooded with the realization that I’m bound to hurt everyone I care about. It wrecks me, robs me of any peace I had within, and leaves me sweating, burning up, screaming and gasping for air.
Please, someone, anyone, help me.
Chapter Seven
Shaking, rattling, a firm grip.