by Luna Pierce
I spend the rest of the morning in the library, burning my eyes over the pages of this book I can’t seem to figure out. I had to use the beacon Abigail gave me. I totally thought I could find the room on my own but I epically failed.
I realize I’ve been in the library too long when my stomach growls, alerting me that it’s probably past lunchtime. I take the bottle of water out of my backpack and drink the rest of the contents, shaking the last few drops into my mouth. Hopefully, it’ll buy me a little more time.
“Failure.”
I push the thought away, scanning the text further. If I’m an Oliver witch, why can’t I make sense of the damn Oliver witch book? How is it possible I can be so oblivious?
“Because you are nothing. And you never will be.”
Furious, I snap the book shut and latch on to another one from the table.
“I will figure this out,” I huff.
“You will never learn. You are a fool, a pitiful embarrassment to the Oliver name.”
“I’m a fool but I broke the first curse?” I respond to the voice in my head.
“By chance. Your efforts are pointless. You’re not capable enough to figure this out. You will ruin the Oliver name. You will strip your mother of her powers. You will lose your father forever. You will put everyone you love in danger. And the saddest thing of all, knowing that none of them ever loved you. Give up, Willow.”
I swallow, shifting my gaze across the room. Is this real? Are these my thoughts? It’s my voice but different. Threatening, dark. What is happening?
I sink to the floor, the old musty book still clutched in my hands.
“Weak. The world would be a better place without you.”
I grasp at my chest. Air constricting. A weight heavy on my shoulders.
“It hurts you because it’s true.”
I dig my nails into the cold, hard floor, desperately trying to ground myself. A sharp pain pierces my hand and, glancing down, I spot my bloody fingers. Everything goes silent except the pounding beat of my heart.
Sweat rolls down my neck, trailing my spine. My other hand shakes, and I hold it in front of my body, trying but unable to keep it from trembling.
Sounds come back the second Silas bursts through the door, screeching to a halt next to me.
“Willow, breathe. You’re having a panic attack.” He rests his hands on my shoulders.
“I am?” I ask, confusion settling in.
“Close your eyes. Focus on your breathing. Focus on me. Focus on anything that makes you happy.”
I open my eyes back up, settling my sights on him, staring intently into his gray eyes. I take in a breath, thinking about Deghan, exhale, Cameron, inhale, Sydney… again, the girls.
My heart slows its pace, the heaviness on my chest easing.
“You have to tell me what’s going on. Please let me help you.” He brings me onto his lap. “You have me so worried. I’m not lying when I say I can feel your hurt, Willow.”
“There are voices,” I whisper.
He looks me over. “Voices?”
“In my head.” I must sound like such a whack job.
“What are they saying?” Silas is kind with his question, treating me as if I’m a fragile child.
“They’re cruel.” Tears fill my eyes. “They tell me everything I’m afraid of. I… I’m not sure which are my thoughts anymore.”
He tugs me into him, and I feel protected in his arms, his black cotton tee shirt cool against my warm face.
“He’ll never love you.”
“What did that one say?” he mutters into my hair.
I shake my head. “I can’t.”
“Whatever it was, it’s not true. Something is playing tricks on your mind. It’s telling you lies, please believe that.”
I bite my lip, begging the tears to stop coming and for his words to be the truth.
“As much as I hate saying this, we should probably go talk to Sydney. He might be able to help.” With the mention of Sydney, his voice deepens.
I wish they didn’t hate each other so damn much.
“They’re going to hate you, too. You’ll ruin them all.”
“Up. Come on. We’re going now. I can’t stand for you to be going through this.”
I get to my feet with his assistance, setting the book on the table and grabbing my bag.
“How long have you been down here?” His tone is accusatory.
“Since breakfast, why?”
“Willow, it’s dinnertime. Have you eaten?”
I shake my head, dizziness hitting me.
He sighs with force. “You’re a witch, Willow. You have to make sure you’re eating. It sounds silly, but if your energy is depleted by all this information you’re trying to learn, and you’re not replenishing yourself naturally, you’ll crash harder. It’s no wonder you’re in the state that you are.”
I look to the floor, ashamed of being so foolish. “I’m sorry.”
“It’s nothing to apologize for, although I’m pissed that no one has told you this stuff. It’s fundamental for your kind. Food, water, rest.” He leads me out of the room, his hand on the small of my back.
I slow my pace and encourage his hand to press more firmly to move me along. His touch calms my aching soul.
Moments later, we appear in the main library, and then up the stairs into the foyer. The trek drags on. Each step I lose a little bit more energy.
“Do you have that pen on you?” Silas asks.
I reach into my pocket and hand it to him. “Why?”
His gaze shifts around and he nudges us toward a large pillar in the sitting room, blocking us from wandering eyes. Grasping my hand, he clicks the pen, and we go invisible.
His hands find their way to my body, and he lifts me off the floor.
Relief floods in to not have to walk anymore. I’ll never get used to how freely we can touch now that whatever was blocking us in the past is gone. I had once thought that we never stood a chance, deadly electricity pulsing between us, but now the energy is fierce, only this time in a purely wonderful way.
“How many times are you going to have to carry me to Sydney? This is becoming a bit embarrassing.” My head bobs and I wrap my arms around his neck, pulling myself in tight. His woodsy scent is enough to calm my nerves.
“I don’t enjoy it one bit. I’d give anything to be the one to rescue you.” His words have such a hint of sadness in them.
“You’re the one who rescues me. Don’t for a second think that’s not the case. He heals me; you’re the one who saves me, though.”
We arrive at Sydney’s door, and he sets me to the floor, making us visible again.
I knock. A second later, Sydney opens the door.
At first, his face reads excitement and then disdain when he settles on Silas.
“What can I help you with?” He’s clearly irritated.
“If you’re busy, we can come back,” I say, a little hurt at his reaction.
“Can we come in? There’s been a development.” Silas is firm and authoritative.
Sydney looks from Silas to me, then back again. “Yeah,” he finally allows.
Stepping inside, Silas shuts the door behind him. He crosses his arms, waiting for me to speak.
“Someone get to it,” Sydney asserts.
“Do you have any snacks?” I sway to one side.
“You came here for something to eat?” He scans me and then decides to grab a granola bar from his desk.
I tear it open, biting into it hastily.
“Willow has voices in her head. Have you heard of anything like this? I’m assuming it’s the next curse. It’s causing her a great deal of pain, and she had an anxiety attack, alone, in our side of the library.”
Sydney’s eyes go wide. “Christ, Willow. Are you okay? I’m sorry. Here…” He holds out his hands to guide me. “Sit.” He directs me onto a spare bed.
“How bad is it?” he asks Silas.
Why would he ask him and not me?
“It’s bad… especially if it hurts me.”
Chapter Nine
Twenty minutes of Sydney running his hands up and down my body go by, and no progress is made.
“I don’t understand.” He rubs his head. “I can’t sense the energy. I should be able to find it, locate its source, and pull it out.”
“If it’s the curse, it might be deeper rooted than that. Not something you can simply get rid of in traditional ways,” Silas suggests.
“You both know I’m right here, don’t you? You’re talking like I’m not in the room.” I lean back onto my elbows, my energy already coming back a little from the granola bar I ate.
Sydney drops to his knees beside me, his hand on my knee. “Willow.” He looks to my eyes, his face blank of emotion. “I can’t fix this.”
I reach up, gripping his hand in mine. “I didn’t expect you to. You don’t always have to be the one to fix me. But now we’re aware that this isn’t some ordinary thing, right? So, we can start pinpointing the curse’s origins. That’s good enough.” I say the words, but they come out flatter than I expect.
Did I hope Sydney could get rid of what is going on in my head? Hell yeah. But I knew damn well coming here that I couldn’t be so lucky, this was my problem to resolve on my own.
“I can help, though, with the research, with some protective spells. There are certain things we can do to up your defenses and make this more… tolerable, until we find a permanent solution.” He holds my hand firmly and offers a weak and forced smile. “I’m sorry.”
“Someone should be near her at all times, for precautionary measures. I can’t imagine what would have happened if I didn’t find her when I did.” Silas radiates fear and concern. His lips pressed in a hard line—he almost looks… soldiery.
“Bodyguards? Are you serious? Don’t overreact. This was the first time this has happened, and it’s probably because I didn’t eat lunch.” I glance to Sydney for some kind of backup.
“You didn’t eat? Willow, that’s one of the golden rules.” His head lowers. “We are failing you here.” He sighs. “You have to eat, even something little every so often. You’re learning so much and you can’t deplete your energy stores without replenishing them. It leaves you vulnerable, weak to attack.” He swings his attention to Silas. “I hate to say this, but he might be right… at least until we figure out what’s going on.”
Silas stiffens. “We’ll have to fill everyone in. None of us have class with her anymore, so that poses an issue. We can take—”
He’s interrupted by a knock at the door. Sydney walks over and cracks it, then opens it fully, allowing Deghan entry.
“Dude, I was so worried. Where have you guys been?” he says.
“We have a problem,” Sydney tells him.
Deghan immediately looks to me, his eyes scanning up and down. He closes the space between us before anyone can explain. “What’s wrong?”
How did I get so lucky to have all of these guys care about me so much? It’s like I hit the jackpot.
Silas speaks. “The next curse, it’s something in her head. A voice. It caused her to have a panic attack, and I can’t imagine what would have happened if I hadn’t gotten there. Sydney can’t get rid of it, and until we figure how to do so, she’s going to need constant surveillance.”
Deghan nods. “Yeah, we can take turns. There are enough of us.” He sits on the bed next to me, wrapping his arm around my shoulder and pulling me in, suffocating me with his embrace like he always does.
I smile at how much I love it. It’s such a Deghan hug.
We make our rounds, and boy is it uncomfortable.
It’s something similar to, ‘Hey, guys, I’m a little defective and need someone around me because I’m incapable of feeding myself properly.’
Luckily, Sydney and Silas do most of the talking. I just answer the questions that are asked.
Cameron is on board, always jumping to be of some help. I’m sure he feels a tiny bit inadequate, not having any supernatural abilities, but I value his presence all the same.
Abigail is busy somewhere, running errands for Walker, so we’ll have to find her when she returns and fill her in on the shit situation.
Walker goes into total Dad mode upon learning the latest development.
“Willow, you poor thing. May I take a look?” He turns his hand over in front of me.
I nod.
He scans me with his palms, a moment later stopping and exhaling loudly. “I hate that this is happening to you. The guys are right, though. I’ll get with Abigail and see what I can do about reworking your schedule again. Actually…” He looks away and to nothing, lost in thought. “We’re near the end of the term, and you’re excelling. I could speak with your professors directly and see about excusing you from class, with the circumstance that you’ll complete your assignments under either my or Abigail’s supervision. I’m sure Professor Tremont would be of assistance, too.” He starts counting on his fingers. “Me, Abigail, Tremont, Silas, Deghan, Sydney…”
“And Cameron,” I add.
“And Cameron,” he confirms. “That should suffice, wouldn’t you say?”
Great, I have seven people who are going to be hovering around me non-stop for the foreseeable future. It’s not that I’m ungrateful, but at what point do I get time to do basic human needs, like using the bathroom? At least I won’t be alone, though, and somehow, I find comfort in that. Especially considering when I’m surrounded, the voices seem to stay at bay. Maybe this is a good plan after all.
“I’m going to put on the table that if you’re not comfortable with the project we discussed, you’re more than welcome to decline.” He seems genuine.
“I’m good. I’d prefer to keep some sort of semblance of normalcy going, if that’s okay.”
“Understandable.” He glances down at a tablet on his desk, poking his finger along the screen. “Meet me in here for first period, and we can discuss with Abigail how to best move forward with your schedule.”
Silas, Sydney, Deghan, and I funnel out of Walker’s office.
“I can take over from here,” Deghan suggests. “You two can go get rested up. You need all of your strength.” He motions to Sydney. “And you probably need to replenish,” he says to Silas.
Silas stiffens in response, his jaw tightening. “I won’t be long, okay?” His eyes bore into me.
“You’re hungry, too, and I could always eat.” Deghan smiles my way.
“Go eat,” Sydney interjects. “But stop by my room on your way back through, I’ll have a few things for you.”
Sydney heads to his room, and Silas holds firm, clearly not wanting to leave.
He reaches out toward me right as Deghan weaves his fingers between mine, dragging me away.
“Come find us when you’re done, pretty boy,” Deghan teases.
I look over my shoulder, watching Silas until he’s out of sight, the void of him opening up inside me.
Walking into the dining hall, I quickly notice how empty it is. I must have really lost track of time and missed lunch and dinner service.
Deghan leads us toward a door in the corner. He knocks twice and smiles at me.
The entry creaks open and, low and behold, Cameron appears. “You’re just in time.”
“For what?” I ask.
Deghan tugs me inside, following Cameron.
The space is immense, a kitchen bigger than I’ve ever seen. Metal everything, and clean, white walls. Vast workspaces and commercial-sized sinks and ovens.
Cameron pulls the handle on what I thought was a pantry but turns out to be a massive refrigerator. He takes out a pack of mushrooms and bell peppers, sets them on the counter, and grabs a clove of garlic and a hefty knife. He salts a pot of already boiling water.
“You can cook?” I blurt out.
He beams. “A little.”
Deghan stands in front of me, his hands wrapping around my waist, hoisting me up and sitting me on the counter. “Don
’t let him fool you,” he says once I’m secured. “I’d starve if it weren’t for him making me extra food.”
“I had no idea.” I knew they were friends, but I didn’t realize they were this close. It’s such a wonderful surprise.
Cameron lays the knife sideways on the garlic, smashing his hand onto it to break it open. He peels away the skin and finely chops the remaining pieces. He tosses them into a sizzling skillet, the rich aroma immediately coursing about. Dropping the pasta in the water, he turns to me and winks.
To see him in his element is so sexy. He radiates such confidence, not that he’s ever lacking, which takes my attraction to him to another level.
Cameron slices the veggies, plopping them into separate skillets. The mushrooms go with the sautéed garlic and the peppers on their own.
“Why not together?” I ask.
“I want them to keep their own flavors,” he replies without hesitation.
Deghan smirks from beside me. “You thirsty?” He strolls to the fridge and brings out a pitcher of tea. “Cameron brewed you some fresh, unsweet, how you usually have it.”
I bite my lip to hide my grin. “Did I die and go to heaven? Is this some alternate universe? Why are you guys being so nice to me?”
Deghan pulls out a glass and responds, “Because we care, and you’re going through a lot of shit right now. Why wouldn’t we want to make things easier on you if we can?”
A buzzer goes off, and Cam reaches for a mitt, taking a pan of chicken out of the oven. The room fills with more decadent smells.
“Do you need a hand?” I can’t help but notice he has a lot of things going at once.
“Nope, I’m good. I promise. Trust me.” He stirs the vegetables and checks on the pasta.
“Here ya go.” Deghan places my drink next to me.
I take a healthy swig.
“Thank you.” I shift from Deghan to Cameron. “Where did you learn how to cook?” I set the cup back down and focus on him.
His shoulders tense for a second. “Had no other choice.” He shrugs. “It was only me and my brother growing up. He’s older and was gone a lot, so I kinda figured it out on my own. A lot of YouTube, if we’re being honest… and trial and error. Oh, man, I made some atrocities…” He lets out a chuckle. “This one time… I was really little. I thought it was a good idea to put vanilla ice cream on my chicken. Let me tell you, not a good combo. Peanut butter on a burger, though, now that is where it’s at. I make this blueberry sauce that goes perfectly on grilled steak. Sounds weird, but don’t knock it till you try it.”